How much $$ are the Grooms parents expected to contribute to wedding costs?

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08/07/2025 12:20

Subject: How much $$ are the Grooms parents expected to contribute to wedding costs?

quote

Anonymous

Anonymous wrote:I have three daughters and will gladly pay 100 percent for weddings if grooms actually pays for his part.

The Bride family pays 100 percent for wedding, wedding dress.

The Groom and his family pays per custom rehearsal dinner, engagement ring, honeymoon and most importantly provide a proper place for bride to live in after marriage. Meaning he needs his 20 percent down on a house.

My wife's family paid 100 percent wedding. But I paid engagement ring, honeymoon, my Mom paid rehearsal dinner and I saved enough for good downpayment on a little starter home with both our names on title.

That is my expectation. Ask me to pay a wedding for a guy with student loans, plans to moved my daughter into his apartment to pay half his rent and pay off his student loans. No way.

I dont care if coop, small condo, tiny starter home you are starting a marriage the guy needs to have a place he owns for them to live. I am not paying 50K to 60k for a wedding to a deadbeat who could leave the next day and leave my daughte a pile of bills.

Heck I will gladly pay 100K for a wedding. Just buy a two million dollar home in Chevy Chase with a big down payment and put my kids name on title. You need skin in the game too.

I say that as my Grandmother who was dirt dirt poor as piss like could not afford an outhouse and shoes with holes in them her Dad scrapped together every nickle and penny and borrowed and paid for his daughters wedding . She married the oldest son of a Farmer whose Dad had passed away and he inhertied Farm. The wedding was the ticket to his daughter being co-acre of Farm. They actually married for love. But my Grandad paid as he wanted his daugher to have the life he did not have. That was around 105 years ago. And that Farm is till in the Family.

it is todays men who think Dads should pay 100 percent with no skin in game for daughters wedding that is problem.

And does not have to have assets. But ability to earn assets. My Friends Dad a retired NYC cop on a fixed income in a little small house paid 100 percent a big and expensive fancy wedding for daugther. She was very pretty and a 25 year old Nurse. She married a 26 year old guy on Wall Street from Greenwich CT with an MBA just starting out but on right path. By 38 she was a SAHM in a big fancy house with a BMW. Her Dad made an investment. Where are these men today? Todays men are mostly not worth it.

How many UMC families will pay 20% down on a nice house and title it in both their names? If I gift substantial money to my adult kids, it's going to be a separate gift, likely a trust with income, that is not subject to division in a divorce. I want to keep it in the family - to my kid and their kids. Not to a spouse.