DC didn’t do SAT prep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m quick to jump on men who suck, but honestly you may displacing anger here. This particular issue actually can be solved with the free khan academy tutorials. I know it’s less efficient than a 1-on-1 tutor and definitely requires more motivation by your DC, but tons of kids don’t have expensive prep (even though it feels like they all do).
There also inexpensive prep. You can do the larger classes or online groups. Maybe that’s the compromise?

This, 💯.

OP: “Ex H didn’t want to pay for SAT prep for our son because “he should just be able to do it himself online” and
“ I was counting on a strong SAT score to increase his options. I underestimated how many kids around here prep, but without his dad on board I couldn’t swing it on my own financially.”

Also OP:

He goofed around all summer even tho OP agrees that ex H was right in that he cld have self studied.

OP has known all summer kid had a 1320from the last attempt, that she believed he cld improve, that kid was wasting time this summer, that ex wasn’t going to pay for a share of prep, that when ex said kid could self study for free she agreed that was “technically true,” and yet…

It is not all ex’s fault bc “without his dad on board” she couldn’t swing it on her own financially.

Then she also blamed the system.

OP: stop dogging your ex for everything, stop placing blame where it doesn’t belong (the system and ex).

Agree. If DC can get themselves to sports and work they can study for an hour or two a day. Op just keeps making excuses to blame the ex-DH. Time is not a privilege - we all make sacrifices. You should have stipulated that DH pay half for college in your divorce- then college choice would not matter. Seems like you are bitter and letting it affect your DC, too. Prioritize your DC over bashing your ex. Discipline your DC- no car or video games unless you study.

At that point every teenaged boy of divorce will just move to dad’s, where he gets the car and the video games without studying.

Divorced dad here. Sad that the DCUM stereotypes prevail. I am the one who kept DS on track academically all through high school. I helped him with his homework, hired tutors when I had to, proofread his papers, helped him build his college list, took him on college visits, etc. Literally everything. His mom did nothing. If he hadn't studied and performed well, my foot would have been in his ass, guaranteed. Fortunately he was well motivated and his hard work paid off.

I paid for his SAT prep and I didn't even bother asking XW to contribute 50% of the cost because I knew she'd say no. (That's by no means the only thing in the agreement that she's ignoring.) I was not going to shortchange my son just to make a point with XW. He gained 200 points from the prep.

[Anonymous]

OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

Test prep is still worth it if it gives you better options in-state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

Test prep is still worth it if it gives you better options in-state.

Yeah but the mom is the one who wants to prep. Not the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

Test prep is still worth it if it gives you better options in-state.

Yeah but the mom is the one who wants to prep. Not the kid.

That's when you sit down and say, "with a 1320 you're probably going to George Mason, if you do test prep you can aspire to UVA." The kid might be OK with that, but hopefully he will realize that test prep is worth it even in-state.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

Test prep is still worth it if it gives you better options in-state.

Yeah but the mom is the one who wants to prep. Not the kid.

That's when you sit down and say, "with a 1320 you're probably going to George Mason, if you do test prep you can aspire to UVA." The kid might be OK with that, but hopefully he will realize that test prep is worth it even in-state.

My guess is mom has talked to him and he hasnt done it. She agreed he could self study…dont you think she told him to after seeing his score and thinking he’s a good test taker?

[Anonymous]

DD may consider trying the ACT as well - some kids do better on one test vs the other.

[Anonymous]

SAT is not the be all and end all. He could possibly get that 1320 up but to what, 1400, 1500? It depends on how many practice tests he takes, how much he cares and what his private prep tutor imparts, wisdom wise.

[Anonymous]

What does your kid think about this score? If he is fine with it, then why are you pushing this? Does he want to take an SAT class to enhance his score? What schools is your kid interested in attending? Are his current scores in line with admissions ( both GPA/SAT)? Are those schools affordable? If so, let it go. If not there are lots of options including free peer tutoring through Kahn Academy's founder program: https://schoolhouse.world/course/sat At this point your job is to support his decisions, help him figure out what to do to get there via his research. Let go of the conflict with the other parent.

[Anonymous]

MC students with divorce and a checked out parent who need financial aid should still find a way to pay for some one on one tutoring if the kid scored a 1320 completely cold. One on one tutoring is expensive but it is efficient if the kid does the work. A $2000 investment to get that score up to 1500 opens up so many more opportunities, including at selective schools that offer exceptionally good financial aid. That $2000 investment could save you tens of thousands even hundreds of thousands in the long run. The father in this situation is a moron.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t get your kid to do the free online test prep, or a prep book from the library, how will you get him to do a more expensive test prep class?

Your kid must be motivated, or face the consequences of “doing his sport and goofing around with his friends.”

The window is closing for you to ensure his success.

If your kid can’t just homeschool himself and get a GED on his own, how will you get him to actually attend high school?

The number of people on this board who talk about their kid’s prep classes, but suddenly everyone on this thread thinks this kid is a lazy loser if he needs the structure of a class rather than self-study. Ffs.

I am but against
Prep, I am saying getting her husband to pay for it won’t solve her kid’s motivation.

Your analogy is ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

Test prep is still worth it if it gives you better options in-state.

Yeah but the mom is the one who wants to prep. Not the kid.

That's when you sit down and say, "with a 1320 you're probably going to George Mason, if you do test prep you can aspire to UVA." The kid might be OK with that, but hopefully he will realize that test prep is worth it even in-state.

This is a message more persuasively given by the counselor, I think, which is why some on this thread have suggested that all involved meet with the counselor to set realistic expectations and goals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what is the plan to pay for college? You and your ex may fall in the donut hole with combined income over 300k. Top private universities may not be affordable.

This is important because it impacts the list of college options, which in turn may affect whether test prep is worth the trouble here.

Test prep is still worth it if it gives you better options in-state.

Yeah but the mom is the one who wants to prep. Not the kid.

That's when you sit down and say, "with a 1320 you're probably going to George Mason, if you do test prep you can aspire to UVA." The kid might be OK with that, but hopefully he will realize that test prep is worth it even in-state.

This is a message more persuasively given by the counselor, I think, which is why some on this thread have suggested that all involved meet with the counselor to set realistic expectations and goals.

Then it’s hard to blame dad. Unless…OP can secretly email the counselor first, blame dad, and then do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t get your kid to do the free online test prep, or a prep book from the library, how will you get him to do a more expensive test prep class?

Your kid must be motivated, or face the consequences of “doing his sport and goofing around with his friends.”

The window is closing for you to ensure his success.

If your kid can’t just homeschool himself and get a GED on his own, how will you get him to actually attend high school?

The number of people on this board who talk about their kid’s prep classes, but suddenly everyone on this thread thinks this kid is a lazy loser if he needs the structure of a class rather than self-study. Ffs.

At some point these kid need to figure out what works best for them and ask for that. The problem nowadays is too many parents doing 90% of the work and then they can’t understand why DC isn’t a top student at college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MC students with divorce and a checked out parent who need financial aid should still find a way to pay for some one on one tutoring if the kid scored a 1320 completely cold. One on one tutoring is expensive but it is efficient if the kid does the work. A $2000 investment to get that score up to 1500 opens up so many more opportunities, including at selective schools that offer exceptionally good financial aid. That $2000 investment could save you tens of thousands even hundreds of thousands in the long run. The father in this situation is a moron.

Sat test prep doesn’t have to be 2000$. There are cheaper online options several of which have already been mentioned on this thread. There is a spectrum of prep and going in cold to take the test which is what the OP said her kid did, is something that can be easily improved upon