DC didn’t do SAT prep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids need more structure and accountability to get things done. It’s not a failing for an in-person prep class to be what a kid needs in order to study effectively.

Mom has to decide if she wants to stand on principle with Dad more than she wants kid to have the prep class.

Dad’s attitude that only the most prestigious schools are worth attending and if you don’t get in there - entirely on your own steam, no prep classes allowed, apparently - then you might as well not go to college at all makes him sound like a jerk and not a helpful influence on the kid.

I strongly suspect that mom’s perception of dad’s attitude is skewed. He will always sound like a jerk if you listen to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:#1 Priority: Learn to make the most of the Desmos calculator for math!! This alone will save him time and boost his score.

There are tons of free (and short) videos out there with the necessary tips and shortcuts.

Here's one example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pGNBb8M3LQ

Don’t most kids knows?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:#1 Priority: Learn to make the most of the Desmos calculator for math!! This alone will save him time and boost his score.

There are tons of free (and short) videos out there with the necessary tips and shortcuts.

Here's one example: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pGNBb8M3LQ

Don’t most kids knows?

Mine doesn’t, their school doesn’t use it. DC is practicing with it this summer as part of studying for the SAT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids need more structure and accountability to get things done. It’s not a failing for an in-person prep class to be what a kid needs in order to study effectively.

Mom has to decide if she wants to stand on principle with Dad more than she wants kid to have the prep class.

Dad’s attitude that only the most prestigious schools are worth attending and if you don’t get in there - entirely on your own steam, no prep classes allowed, apparently - then you might as well not go to college at all makes him sound like a jerk and not a helpful influence on the kid.

I strongly suspect that mom’s perception of dad’s attitude is skewed. He will always sound like a jerk if you listen to her.

Based on nothing but vibes. Ok. 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids need more structure and accountability to get things done. It’s not a failing for an in-person prep class to be what a kid needs in order to study effectively.

Mom has to decide if she wants to stand on principle with Dad more than she wants kid to have the prep class.

Dad’s attitude that only the most prestigious schools are worth attending and if you don’t get in there - entirely on your own steam, no prep classes allowed, apparently - then you might as well not go to college at all makes him sound like a jerk and not a helpful influence on the kid.

I strongly suspect that mom’s perception of dad’s attitude is skewed. He will always sound like a jerk if you listen to her.

Based on nothing but vibes. Ok. 🙄

No, based on mom’s own words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m quick to jump on men who suck, but honestly you may displacing anger here. This particular issue actually can be solved with the free khan academy tutorials. I know it’s less efficient than a 1-on-1 tutor and definitely requires more motivation by your DC, but tons of kids don’t have expensive prep (even though it feels like they all do).
There also inexpensive prep. You can do the larger classes or online groups. Maybe that’s the compromise?

This, 💯.

OP: “Ex H didn’t want to pay for SAT prep for our son because “he should just be able to do it himself online” and
“ I was counting on a strong SAT score to increase his options. I underestimated how many kids around here prep, but without his dad on board I couldn’t swing it on my own financially.”

Also OP:

He goofed around all summer even tho OP agrees that ex H was right in that he cld have self studied.

OP has known all summer kid had a 1320from the last attempt, that she believed he cld improve, that kid was wasting time this summer, that ex wasn’t going to pay for a share of prep, that when ex said kid could self study for free she agreed that was “technically true,” and yet…

It is not all ex’s fault bc “without his dad on board” she couldn’t swing it on her own financially.

Then she also blamed the system.

OP: stop dogging your ex for everything, stop placing blame where it doesn’t belong (the system and ex).

Agree. If DC can get themselves to sports and work they can study for an hour or two a day. Op just keeps making excuses to blame the ex-DH. Time is not a privilege - we all make sacrifices. You should have stipulated that DH pay half for college in your divorce- then college choice would not matter. Seems like you are bitter and letting it affect your DC, too. Prioritize your DC over bashing your ex. Discipline your DC- no car or video games unless you study.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m quick to jump on men who suck, but honestly you may displacing anger here. This particular issue actually can be solved with the free khan academy tutorials. I know it’s less efficient than a 1-on-1 tutor and definitely requires more motivation by your DC, but tons of kids don’t have expensive prep (even though it feels like they all do).
There also inexpensive prep. You can do the larger classes or online groups. Maybe that’s the compromise?

This, 💯.

OP: “Ex H didn’t want to pay for SAT prep for our son because “he should just be able to do it himself online” and
“ I was counting on a strong SAT score to increase his options. I underestimated how many kids around here prep, but without his dad on board I couldn’t swing it on my own financially.”

Also OP:

He goofed around all summer even tho OP agrees that ex H was right in that he cld have self studied.

OP has known all summer kid had a 1320from the last attempt, that she believed he cld improve, that kid was wasting time this summer, that ex wasn’t going to pay for a share of prep, that when ex said kid could self study for free she agreed that was “technically true,” and yet…

It is not all ex’s fault bc “without his dad on board” she couldn’t swing it on her own financially.

Then she also blamed the system.

OP: stop dogging your ex for everything, stop placing blame where it doesn’t belong (the system and ex).

Agree. If DC can get themselves to sports and work they can study for an hour or two a day. Op just keeps making excuses to blame the ex-DH. Time is not a privilege - we all make sacrifices. You should have stipulated that DH pay half for college in your divorce- then college choice would not matter. Seems like you are bitter and letting it affect your DC, too. Prioritize your DC over bashing your ex. Discipline your DC- no car or video games unless you study.

At that point every teenaged boy of divorce will just move to dad’s, where he gets the car and the video games without studying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m quick to jump on men who suck, but honestly you may displacing anger here. This particular issue actually can be solved with the free khan academy tutorials. I know it’s less efficient than a 1-on-1 tutor and definitely requires more motivation by your DC, but tons of kids don’t have expensive prep (even though it feels like they all do).
There also inexpensive prep. You can do the larger classes or online groups. Maybe that’s the compromise?

This, 💯.

OP: “Ex H didn’t want to pay for SAT prep for our son because “he should just be able to do it himself online” and
“ I was counting on a strong SAT score to increase his options. I underestimated how many kids around here prep, but without his dad on board I couldn’t swing it on my own financially.”

Also OP:

He goofed around all summer even tho OP agrees that ex H was right in that he cld have self studied.

OP has known all summer kid had a 1320from the last attempt, that she believed he cld improve, that kid was wasting time this summer, that ex wasn’t going to pay for a share of prep, that when ex said kid could self study for free she agreed that was “technically true,” and yet…

It is not all ex’s fault bc “without his dad on board” she couldn’t swing it on her own financially.

Then she also blamed the system.

OP: stop dogging your ex for everything, stop placing blame where it doesn’t belong (the system and ex).

Agree. If DC can get themselves to sports and work they can study for an hour or two a day. Op just keeps making excuses to blame the ex-DH. Time is not a privilege - we all make sacrifices. You should have stipulated that DH pay half for college in your divorce- then college choice would not matter. Seems like you are bitter and letting it affect your DC, too. Prioritize your DC over bashing your ex. Discipline your DC- no car or video games unless you study.

At that point every teenaged boy of divorce will just move to dad’s, where he gets the car and the video games without studying.

1. You're stereotyping.
2. In the OP's kid's case...the kid played video games, didn't study, and lived with his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids need more structure and accountability to get things done. It’s not a failing for an in-person prep class to be what a kid needs in order to study effectively.

Mom has to decide if she wants to stand on principle with Dad more than she wants kid to have the prep class.

Dad’s attitude that only the most prestigious schools are worth attending and if you don’t get in there - entirely on your own steam, no prep classes allowed, apparently - then you might as well not go to college at all makes him sound like a jerk and not a helpful influence on the kid.

True, but if it's not in her divorce agreement that these costs are to be split 50/50, then OP can pay herself or not. Those are the only options. An SAT score in the 1300s without studying is still good, but if her kid is too lazy to log into Khan Academy for a dozen hours to do test prep, that doesn't bode well for an elite college anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some kids need more structure and accountability to get things done. It’s not a failing for an in-person prep class to be what a kid needs in order to study effectively.

Mom has to decide if she wants to stand on principle with Dad more than she wants kid to have the prep class.

Dad’s attitude that only the most prestigious schools are worth attending and if you don’t get in there - entirely on your own steam, no prep classes allowed, apparently - then you might as well not go to college at all makes him sound like a jerk and not a helpful influence on the kid.

I strongly suspect that mom’s perception of dad’s attitude is skewed. He will always sound like a jerk if you listen to her.

Based on nothing but vibes. Ok. 🙄

"Your dad is a jerk" is basically what every divorced mom ever says to her kids.

[Anonymous]

So much misogyny in this thread.

[Anonymous]

If you can’t get your kid to do the free online test prep, or a prep book from the library, how will you get him to do a more expensive test prep class?

Your kid must be motivated, or face the consequences of “doing his sport and goofing around with his friends.”

The window is closing for you to ensure his success.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you can’t get your kid to do the free online test prep, or a prep book from the library, how will you get him to do a more expensive test prep class?

Your kid must be motivated, or face the consequences of “doing his sport and goofing around with his friends.”

The window is closing for you to ensure his success.

If your kid can’t just homeschool himself and get a GED on his own, how will you get him to actually attend high school?

The number of people on this board who talk about their kid’s prep classes, but suddenly everyone on this thread thinks this kid is a lazy loser if he needs the structure of a class rather than self-study. Ffs.

[Anonymous]

I am very comfortable and my kid attends a private school. We will not be paying for test prep. I don't think your husband's view is that unreasonable. Perhaps you need to give your son some incentives for studying and help him set aside some time, but he can bring up his score using the many free or inexpensive resources that are available to him.