article in The Atlantic about tracking your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given the Trump administration is about to track women

Red states are already trying legit do this why not track your teens maga

There is also a t-rump plan to cancel the credit card of every woman in America. It’s written right in his plan 2025.

Yes! We're finally going to reign in the debt!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If kids are not doing anything wrong and are telling the truth, then they have nothing to complain about with parents using Life 360.

Problem solved.

I want my kids to feel free and autonomous though. It's not developmentally normal for mommy to be able to find her 17yo kid 24/7. Plus, they have ways around the technology if they really want to "do something wrong".

I don't want to be tracked. And I don't want to track. Just my preference.

[Anonymous]

I don’t track them on a daily basis but once in a while if they’re late and haven’t sent a message I will check the find my iPhone app just to make sure they’re alright. These are my 11 and 15 year old kids, though. They can find me too if they need to. I would never track my adult kids , they’re not even connected to my app. I’ve never really felt like I need to track my kids for anything other than safety, I am not worried about any of their behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't and have never tracked my 3 teen/YA boys. Seems super weird to me. And I would never want them tracking me. Also weird.

That is nothing. There was one father tracking his daughter at college. He had her schedule and he could tell if she wasn’t in class. He’d call her and ask why isn’t she in class. That’s a psycho.

[Anonymous]

I told my 18 year old he was free to turn off tracking and he didn't. I feel like the younger generation just doesn't care about "privacy" the way us old folks do.

This is probably true, and also scary. As noted above, people who were raised this way will probably be less likely to oppose surveillance states in their adult lives. This is ultimately bad for democracy and bad for society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

I don't track my kids electronically but I do expect them to tell me where they are going. That's basic courtesy for a family member and also brings up the opportunity for many conversations. Ok, so you're going with Sally to the party at Charlotte's house? Cool, who will be there? Parents home? Okay, what's your plan if there's alcohol? Drugs?

I hope when they're older they'll be in the habit of letting a roommate or partner know, say they're going running on a trail, or out at night. I teach them if they go to a party with friends how to make sure their friends are okay if they decide to leave separately. Hopefully helpful when they go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

The point is, your kids should have the freedom to do that without phones. 10 years ago kids used to leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and be home at midnight just the same. Except there’d be no tracking. You don’t get the same mental freedom as a kid when you’re digitally chained to mom and dad. Doesn’t feel like you’re forging your own. A loss of true independence. And you say your kids don’t mind, but they don’t know any different because they’ve always been tethered to you. And so do many of their friends. It’s a systemic problem.

It’s the real problem with Millennial and older parents of Gen Z and younger kids. The parents don’t know what it’s like having a digital upbringing and don’t realize the harm they doing upon their kids. And the kids don’t know any better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

The point is, your kids should have the freedom to do that without phones. 10 years ago kids used to leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and be home at midnight just the same. Except there’d be no tracking. You don’t get the same mental freedom as a kid when you’re digitally chained to mom and dad. Doesn’t feel like you’re forging your own. A loss of true independence. And you say your kids don’t mind, but they don’t know any different because they’ve always been tethered to you. And so do many of their friends. It’s a systemic problem.

It’s the real problem with Millennial and older parents of Gen Z and younger kids. The parents don’t know what it’s like having a digital upbringing and don’t realize the harm they doing upon their kids. And the kids don’t know any better.

You are really reaching here. They are tethered to technology is every possible way these days. One more safety feature is not going to scar them. It’s not like my kids are co stately thinking about being tracked nor do I check it every time they are away from me. When I was a teen I was given a lot of freedom but I also did some really dumb things. It would have saved my mom so much anguish if she just knew where I was on a couple of occasions. And before you say “well that was you, my teen is smart and responsible.” No they aren’t. All teens are impulsive and dumb to a certain extent.

[Anonymous]

If they have nothing to hide they have nothing to worry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

The point is, your kids should have the freedom to do that without phones. 10 years ago kids used to leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and be home at midnight just the same. Except there’d be no tracking. You don’t get the same mental freedom as a kid when you’re digitally chained to mom and dad. Doesn’t feel like you’re forging your own. A loss of true independence. And you say your kids don’t mind, but they don’t know any different because they’ve always been tethered to you. And so do many of their friends. It’s a systemic problem.

It’s the real problem with Millennial and older parents of Gen Z and younger kids. The parents don’t know what it’s like having a digital upbringing and don’t realize the harm they doing upon their kids. And the kids don’t know any better.

what's the problem? my teens have many friends, romantic relationships, good mental health, jobs each summer since age 15 that they work to earn all their own spending money, do very well in school (heck the oldest is headed to any Ivy this fall). They attend all their own medical appointments, shop for themselves, do their own laundry, have travelled internationally without adults several times, etc.

I fail to see where the problem is or how being tracked by us via "find my phone" is A PROBLEM. How is it hurting them?

Ugh- so now you can only be an “adult” if you have “travelled internationally with out adults several times.”

Of course you aren’t worried, you can buy them out of any unwanted situation.

[Anonymous]

If they have nothing to hide they have nothing to worry about.

“Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.”

― Edward Snowden

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_to_hide_argument

Electronically tracking your kids sets a bad precedent for society, and, even if you and your kids genuinely don't find this creepy, you and/or they might prefer that their tracking data not be sold and/or used for targeted advertsing.

Also, tracking your kids means tracking their friends and associates, none of whom have likely agreed to be tracked. It's an invasion of their privacy, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If they have nothing to hide they have nothing to worry about.

“Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.”

― Edward Snowden

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_to_hide_argument

Electronically tracking your kids sets a bad precedent for society, and, even if you and your kids genuinely don't find this creepy, you and/or they might prefer that their tracking data not be sold and/or used for targeted advertsing.

Also, tracking your kids means tracking their friends and associates, none of whom have likely agreed to be tracked. It's an invasion of their privacy, too.

This thread keeps getting dumber. My kids are fully aware that they do not have absolute privacy. No kid should have that. They are still learning, developing, making mistakes. We are responsible for their health, safety and well being. So until they are mature enough to be completely on their own, I will use the technology available to me to make that a success.

So, unless you have something better than "technology BAD" as your argument, I'll do what I deem necessary to keep my kids safe.

I don't even know how to respond do the insane "their friends didn't consent to being tracked." I guess I'd need to obtain their permission to know that they are with my child, even if I didn't track their phone. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If they have nothing to hide they have nothing to worry about.

“Arguing that you don't care about the right to privacy because you have nothing to hide is no different than saying you don't care about free speech because you have nothing to say.”

― Edward Snowden

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nothing_to_hide_argument

Electronically tracking your kids sets a bad precedent for society, and, even if you and your kids genuinely don't find this creepy, you and/or they might prefer that their tracking data not be sold and/or used for targeted advertsing.

Also, tracking your kids means tracking their friends and associates, none of whom have likely agreed to be tracked. It's an invasion of their privacy, too.

This thread keeps getting dumber. My kids are fully aware that they do not have absolute privacy. No kid should have that. They are still learning, developing, making mistakes. We are responsible for their health, safety and well being. So until they are mature enough to be completely on their own, I will use the technology available to me to make that a success.

So, unless you have something better than "technology BAD" as your argument, I'll do what I deem necessary to keep my kids safe.

I don't even know how to respond do the insane "their friends didn't consent to being tracked." I guess I'd need to obtain their permission to know that they are with my child, even if I didn't track their phone. Do you see how ridiculous that sounds?

DP

Reread what you wrote. Actually, you sound ridiculous.

And the ability to track people via app which can be hacked makes them unsafe. Imagine your kid on a hike with their friends out of state. A hacker calls you with a zip code from that area telling you that Larlo has been in an accident and you need to wire money to the hospital. Larlo is hiking and doesn't have mobile service, but you see he's in the same area. Your hacker has his insurance, location details, friends, photographs, etc. Does this make you feel safer about your child? This is just one of billions of scenarios. If your kid has videos online they can deep fake photos of the accident with his voice asking for money.

I work in ai and there is not a chance on Earth I'm making it easy for these people. But hey, you do you. Ignorance is bliss. Actually if you make it easy for them to hack you all, then they won't go for the difficult targets, so yeah, for you, it's a great idea.

[Anonymous]

All I know is my mother was a helicopter parent before it was a thing.

I was very closely monitored. Her excuse was that I was up to no good, but really it was normal teenage behavior. She was very focused on keeping me away from smoking, drinking, boys etc. She would listen to my phone calls, read my notes, always knew my whereabouts and acted as though any event or trip was a life or death encounter. She was practically hysterical.

She would have absolutely tracked me 24-7 on my phone, if possible.

Because of the intensive parenting and tracking, I didn’t gain self confidence, figure out who I was, make mistakes, learn important lessons about friendships and relationships etc. This caused me some issues later on and resulted in me being behind my peers emotionally.

As a result of this I’m very opposed to closely monitoring children. I believe in autonomy and independence.

[Anonymous]

My kids, husband, and I have location sharing enabled amongst the four of us on Google Maps.

We don't check each other's location very often time, but it's been nice to see where someone is without texting them.

The kids are teenagers now, but before they had cell phones, they would be a local park, on their bikes, or at a friend's place for hours at a time. Oddly, I know more about there whereabouts now than I did before they got cell phones!

I can also see my elderly parent's location. It's been helpful in various scenarios.