article in The Atlantic about tracking your kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Raising children who never learn to be independent. Sad.

CHILDREN!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The technology is there for me to use so I'll use it.

Yes, kids grew up 30-40 years ago without being tracked. They also grew up without cell phones, and a hell of a lot more safety features that we have at our disposal now. Why would you scoff at something new just because you didn't have it in the olden days?

I fully trust every member of my family and it has never been about spying on them. We all know that each other has the ability to track. We all consent and it's no big deal.

If you don't want to do it, fine by me. There is no need to stupidly disparage those of us who do.

OK, so if your kids turned it off, you would be totally chill with it, right?

Of course not. They are teens and in my care. When they are adults and live on their own they can decide if they want to turn it off. I also reserve the right to go into their room and inspect whatever I want. Same with their phones. I have no reason to do it, but they know it’s always a probability.

[Anonymous]

We track and it’s not a big deal. My teens can go where they please without constantly checking in with us. I know if they’re on their way home for example. My mom and I track each other and I helped her locate her phone once when she dropped it in a parking lot. I’m not constantly on it. Just as needed. And my kids can track me; I don’t care if they see where I’m going, I don’t have secrets.

[Anonymous]

My father was a fairly abusive controlling
Individual. He definitely would have used this surveillance to control our every move even when we were in college on the grounds that he was paying for it. But ai feel like kids should have the opportunity to make mistakes occasionally. Sleeping through class, staying out all night. I remember the joke when I was in college was that if a parent called the hall or room phone in Sunday morning and you didn’t know where your roomie or hallmate was you should say “oh, I think she went to church”. The point here is that maybe it’s not actually any of your parents business where you are on Sunday morning. Abusive and controlling parents will use all of this surveillance tech to be even more abusive and even more controlling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone have a gift link for this article? "The Very Common, Very Harmful Thing Well-Meaning Parents Do".
TIA.

Interesting that they called it harmful.
I imagine they have no problem with government and corporations (same thing for last 75 years really) tracking everyone and everything they do or say? But they tell you not to track kids. Interesting.

The author gives an example of lying to his/her parents as a teen, saying it’s good there was no tracking then so s/he didn’t get caught. And that teens now should have the “freedom” to lie to their parents, too.

The author also thinks it’s bad to monitor what kids do online. I read the whole article and didn’t see any convincing “harms” of being able to see your minor child’s location whatsoever.

Thanks for summing it up. I’m even more unconvinced there is any harm. Just someone’s useless opinion.

[Anonymous]

And someone with an obvious agenda without supported evidence.

[Anonymous]

In our family, we are all on “find my” and happens since the kids were early teens. Now Wen is halfway through college and the other is about to start. Well, it’s never been explicit, anyone who doesn’t want the others to know where they are. Just turns it off for whatever period of time. I’ve never asked a question about that. I don’t think I’d ever have a reason to.

[Anonymous]

I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

[Anonymous]

We all share locations in find my, no big deal. I also have my dad, and dh his dad. Life 360 seems more intrusive to me, we dont use it but our oldest (18) does with her close friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

The point is, your kids should have the freedom to do that without phones. 10 years ago kids used to leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and be home at midnight just the same. Except there’d be no tracking. You don’t get the same mental freedom as a kid when you’re digitally chained to mom and dad. Doesn’t feel like you’re forging your own. A loss of true independence. And you say your kids don’t mind, but they don’t know any different because they’ve always been tethered to you. And so do many of their friends. It’s a systemic problem.

It’s the real problem with Millennial and older parents of Gen Z and younger kids. The parents don’t know what it’s like having a digital upbringing and don’t realize the harm they doing upon their kids. And the kids don’t know any better.

[Anonymous]

Our whole family, including all grandparents and even my SIL are on find my. I have a couple of best friends who I have on find my as well. No one is looking at peoples locations all the time, mostly a convenience thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

The point is, your kids should have the freedom to do that without phones. 10 years ago kids used to leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and be home at midnight just the same. Except there’d be no tracking. You don’t get the same mental freedom as a kid when you’re digitally chained to mom and dad. Doesn’t feel like you’re forging your own. A loss of true independence. And you say your kids don’t mind, but they don’t know any different because they’ve always been tethered to you. And so do many of their friends. It’s a systemic problem.

It’s the real problem with Millennial and older parents of Gen Z and younger kids. The parents don’t know what it’s like having a digital upbringing and don’t realize the harm they doing upon their kids. And the kids don’t know any better.

what's the problem? my teens have many friends, romantic relationships, good mental health, jobs each summer since age 15 that they work to earn all their own spending money, do very well in school (heck the oldest is headed to any Ivy this fall). They attend all their own medical appointments, shop for themselves, do their own laundry, have travelled internationally without adults several times, etc.

I fail to see where the problem is or how being tracked by us via "find my phone" is A PROBLEM. How is it hurting them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Given the Trump administration is about to track women

Red states are already trying legit do this why not track your teens maga

There is also a t-rump plan to cancel the credit card of every woman in America. It’s written right in his plan 2025.

Liar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always had to let my parents know where I was going and what I was doing during the day especially after getting a car. Once I moved away I didn't because I wasn't living with them anymore. Problem solved.

sounds like my parents. My kids have a lot more freedom. They leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and just know to be home at midnight. i have no idea where they're going. I can locate them by "find my phone" if I really need to find them. I rarely if ever do.
Cell phones give them freedom that I am comfortable giving it to them because I can locate them in case of emergency.

The point is, your kids should have the freedom to do that without phones. 10 years ago kids used to leave the house at 7pm on a Saturday night and be home at midnight just the same. Except there’d be no tracking. You don’t get the same mental freedom as a kid when you’re digitally chained to mom and dad. Doesn’t feel like you’re forging your own. A loss of true independence. And you say your kids don’t mind, but they don’t know any different because they’ve always been tethered to you. And so do many of their friends. It’s a systemic problem.

It’s the real problem with Millennial and older parents of Gen Z and younger kids. The parents don’t know what it’s like having a digital upbringing and don’t realize the harm they doing upon their kids. And the kids don’t know any better.

what's the problem? my teens have many friends, romantic relationships, good mental health, jobs each summer since age 15 that they work to earn all their own spending money, do very well in school (heck the oldest is headed to any Ivy this fall). They attend all their own medical appointments, shop for themselves, do their own laundry, have travelled internationally without adults several times, etc.

I fail to see where the problem is or how being tracked by us via "find my phone" is A PROBLEM. How is it hurting them?

Same. I didn't read the article but I don't see the problem. I told my 18 year old he was free to turn off tracking and he didn't. I feel like the younger generation just doesn't care about "privacy" the way us old folks do.