Would you move to NYC for a new job at 46 with 3 kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Ha. Such a typical NY comment. No, not everyone wants to live in NY. I’ve lived in Manhattan and do not have any interest in apartment living. I love a large house and yard, quiet neighborhood and no to little crime.

Right, of course there are people who want a house and a yard. But if OP is moving to NYC to be in NYC, she’s clearly doing it to actually be there and have a city lifestyle. Not live in a suburb miles away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Or safety. Friend big time lawyer NYC. Owned in Brooklyn, loved it, bought a home in suburbs during pandemic and now sold place in Brooklyn because their area which they said (I have no idea as I dont know the area) was very popular and kid friendly is not very safe anymore and has had many instances. When they went back the local playground kids don't play on anymore according to them. So that was why they moved. They owned, kids went to private, but they seem very happy in the suburbs, have lots of friends and are happy their kids can move around freely.

Where is this? I find that extremely hard to believe. Brooklyn is massively gentrified now, and even formerly ‘up and coming’ areas are $$ now and very safe. I suspect they moved for other reasons- private school tuition was too much and they didn’t get one or more of their kids into the public they wanted for them- and they didn’t want to admit this. The SHS public schools are very sought after, but they are not right for every kid, and sometimes parents have a hard time admitting that. It’s like Stuy or Hunter or bust, and they are competing against kids whose parents have been prepping them for years (yes, lots of Asians). Too bad, bc there are tons of strong options other than SHS. I know bc I know kids who have thrived in them, gone on to great colleges etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

No. Because I view nyc as too much. Nice to visit but not to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Or safety. Friend big time lawyer NYC. Owned in Brooklyn, loved it, bought a home in suburbs during pandemic and now sold place in Brooklyn because their area which they said (I have no idea as I dont know the area) was very popular and kid friendly is not very safe anymore and has had many instances. When they went back the local playground kids don't play on anymore according to them. So that was why they moved. They owned, kids went to private, but they seem very happy in the suburbs, have lots of friends and are happy their kids can move around freely.

Where is this? I find that extremely hard to believe. Brooklyn is massively gentrified now, and even formerly ‘up and coming’ areas are $$ now and very safe. I suspect they moved for other reasons- private school tuition was too much and they didn’t get one or more of their kids into the public they wanted for them- and they didn’t want to admit this. The SHS public schools are very sought after, but they are not right for every kid, and sometimes parents have a hard time admitting that. It’s like Stuy or Hunter or bust, and they are competing against kids whose parents have been prepping them for years (yes, lots of Asians). Too bad, bc there are tons of strong options other than SHS. I know bc I know kids who have thrived in them, gone on to great colleges etc

I went to dinner with them maybe 2 weeks ago and they said they still talk to their former neighbors and there are issues. Allegedly drugs, violence, etc. They also lived in Brooklyn and Manhattan for 20 years, so they are not shocked by much. Their kids were in privates and I don't think a partner has an issue with tuition.

Wherever they lived had a housing authority nearby which they said was not really an issue when they lived there but according to their neighbors has had some incidents recently.

I am just going by what they told me (and I won't be saying what area as mutual friends read this forum). It is a different life, they have a larger house now, kids walk and bike to school, bike or walk to friends homes even at night, easy to sign up for activities.

The one complain is commuting that if you don't hit the right train you can have issues from the burbs into the city sometimes.

[Anonymous]

I lived in Douglaston Queens for a few years walking distance the Long Island Rail Road stop. Great homes some with water views. Assigned to a great elementary school and good HS

My 521 train out of Penn would get me home 548 pm. 26 minute commute. I had a monthly pass and would go to Knick gams and concerts door to door in 30 minutes including walk to my place.

that train also goes to Grand Central. Yes I lived NYC Life. I had a monthly pass. I sometimes go home after work, hang out and go back in.

I also lived in Manhattan and if often took me 30-40 minutes to get from Wall Street to Upper East Side if you include walking.



https://new.mta.info/document/85031

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Ha. Such a typical NY comment. No, not everyone wants to live in NY. I’ve lived in Manhattan and do not have any interest in apartment living. I love a large house and yard, quiet neighborhood and no to little crime.

Right, of course there are people who want a house and a yard. But if OP is moving to NYC to be in NYC, she’s clearly doing it to actually be there and have a city lifestyle. Not live in a suburb miles away.

That's a big assumption. Maybe she is offered promotion or path to c suite.

[Anonymous]

Unless you have a ton of money (like a hefty inheritance) to put into housing, I wouldn’t. I also have three kids and would LOVE to live in NYC, but this will have to be a later in life endeavor because it’s hard enough outside of NYC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Or safety. Friend big time lawyer NYC. Owned in Brooklyn, loved it, bought a home in suburbs during pandemic and now sold place in Brooklyn because their area which they said (I have no idea as I dont know the area) was very popular and kid friendly is not very safe anymore and has had many instances. When they went back the local playground kids don't play on anymore according to them. So that was why they moved. They owned, kids went to private, but they seem very happy in the suburbs, have lots of friends and are happy their kids can move around freely.

Where is this? I find that extremely hard to believe. Brooklyn is massively gentrified now, and even formerly ‘up and coming’ areas are $$ now and very safe. I suspect they moved for other reasons- private school tuition was too much and they didn’t get one or more of their kids into the public they wanted for them- and they didn’t want to admit this. The SHS public schools are very sought after, but they are not right for every kid, and sometimes parents have a hard time admitting that. It’s like Stuy or Hunter or bust, and they are competing against kids whose parents have been prepping them for years (yes, lots of Asians). Too bad, bc there are tons of strong options other than SHS. I know bc I know kids who have thrived in them, gone on to great colleges etc

I went to dinner with them maybe 2 weeks ago and they said they still talk to their former neighbors and there are issues. Allegedly drugs, violence, etc. They also lived in Brooklyn and Manhattan for 20 years, so they are not shocked by much. Their kids were in privates and I don't think a partner has an issue with tuition.

Wherever they lived had a housing authority nearby which they said was not really an issue when they lived there but according to their neighbors has had some incidents recently.

I am just going by what they told me (and I won't be saying what area as mutual friends read this forum). It is a different life, they have a larger house now, kids walk and bike to school, bike or walk to friends homes even at night, easy to sign up for activities.

The one complain is commuting that if you don't hit the right train you can have issues from the burbs into the city sometimes.

Again, that doesn’t fully add up. What area of Brooklyn?

I’ll add that law firm partners are not considered super rich in NYC. Private schools are 60k a year and up, and admissions are extremely competitive, so again, I suspect the move was also a school issue. But who knows? Im just noting that people don’t leave Brooklyn bc of the crime. It’s just not a thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Ha. Such a typical NY comment. No, not everyone wants to live in NY. I’ve lived in Manhattan and do not have any interest in apartment living. I love a large house and yard, quiet neighborhood and no to little crime.

Right, of course there are people who want a house and a yard. But if OP is moving to NYC to be in NYC, she’s clearly doing it to actually be there and have a city lifestyle. Not live in a suburb miles away.

That's a big assumption. Maybe she is offered promotion or path to c suite.

Well, she asked about living in NYC. So I’d assume she wants to live in NYC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I lived in Douglaston Queens for a few years walking distance the Long Island Rail Road stop. Great homes some with water views. Assigned to a great elementary school and good HS

My 521 train out of Penn would get me home 548 pm. 26 minute commute. I had a monthly pass and would go to Knick gams and concerts door to door in 30 minutes including walk to my place.

that train also goes to Grand Central. Yes I lived NYC Life. I had a monthly pass. I sometimes go home after work, hang out and go back in.

I also lived in Manhattan and if often took me 30-40 minutes to get from Wall Street to Upper East Side if you include walking.



https://new.mta.info/document/85031

NY’er here. Douglaston is very nice. And you’re still in NYC so you pay NYC real estate taxes (low) and have access to the public school system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Or safety. Friend big time lawyer NYC. Owned in Brooklyn, loved it, bought a home in suburbs during pandemic and now sold place in Brooklyn because their area which they said (I have no idea as I dont know the area) was very popular and kid friendly is not very safe anymore and has had many instances. When they went back the local playground kids don't play on anymore according to them. So that was why they moved. They owned, kids went to private, but they seem very happy in the suburbs, have lots of friends and are happy their kids can move around freely.

Where is this? I find that extremely hard to believe. Brooklyn is massively gentrified now, and even formerly ‘up and coming’ areas are $$ now and very safe. I suspect they moved for other reasons- private school tuition was too much and they didn’t get one or more of their kids into the public they wanted for them- and they didn’t want to admit this. The SHS public schools are very sought after, but they are not right for every kid, and sometimes parents have a hard time admitting that. It’s like Stuy or Hunter or bust, and they are competing against kids whose parents have been prepping them for years (yes, lots of Asians). Too bad, bc there are tons of strong options other than SHS. I know bc I know kids who have thrived in them, gone on to great colleges etc

I went to dinner with them maybe 2 weeks ago and they said they still talk to their former neighbors and there are issues. Allegedly drugs, violence, etc. They also lived in Brooklyn and Manhattan for 20 years, so they are not shocked by much. Their kids were in privates and I don't think a partner has an issue with tuition.

Wherever they lived had a housing authority nearby which they said was not really an issue when they lived there but according to their neighbors has had some incidents recently.

I am just going by what they told me (and I won't be saying what area as mutual friends read this forum). It is a different life, they have a larger house now, kids walk and bike to school, bike or walk to friends homes even at night, easy to sign up for activities.

The one complain is commuting that if you don't hit the right train you can have issues from the burbs into the city sometimes.

Again, that doesn’t fully add up. What area of Brooklyn?

I’ll add that law firm partners are not considered super rich in NYC. Private schools are 60k a year and up, and admissions are extremely competitive, so again, I suspect the move was also a school issue. But who knows? Im just noting that people don’t leave Brooklyn bc of the crime. It’s just not a thing.

Eh. There's plenty of petty unreported crime. And not all of Brooklyn is gentrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Or safety. Friend big time lawyer NYC. Owned in Brooklyn, loved it, bought a home in suburbs during pandemic and now sold place in Brooklyn because their area which they said (I have no idea as I dont know the area) was very popular and kid friendly is not very safe anymore and has had many instances. When they went back the local playground kids don't play on anymore according to them. So that was why they moved. They owned, kids went to private, but they seem very happy in the suburbs, have lots of friends and are happy their kids can move around freely.

Where is this? I find that extremely hard to believe. Brooklyn is massively gentrified now, and even formerly ‘up and coming’ areas are $$ now and very safe. I suspect they moved for other reasons- private school tuition was too much and they didn’t get one or more of their kids into the public they wanted for them- and they didn’t want to admit this. The SHS public schools are very sought after, but they are not right for every kid, and sometimes parents have a hard time admitting that. It’s like Stuy or Hunter or bust, and they are competing against kids whose parents have been prepping them for years (yes, lots of Asians). Too bad, bc there are tons of strong options other than SHS. I know bc I know kids who have thrived in them, gone on to great colleges etc

I went to dinner with them maybe 2 weeks ago and they said they still talk to their former neighbors and there are issues. Allegedly drugs, violence, etc. They also lived in Brooklyn and Manhattan for 20 years, so they are not shocked by much. Their kids were in privates and I don't think a partner has an issue with tuition.

Wherever they lived had a housing authority nearby which they said was not really an issue when they lived there but according to their neighbors has had some incidents recently.

I am just going by what they told me (and I won't be saying what area as mutual friends read this forum). It is a different life, they have a larger house now, kids walk and bike to school, bike or walk to friends homes even at night, easy to sign up for activities.

The one complain is commuting that if you don't hit the right train you can have issues from the burbs into the city sometimes.

Again, that doesn’t fully add up. What area of Brooklyn?

I’ll add that law firm partners are not considered super rich in NYC. Private schools are 60k a year and up, and admissions are extremely competitive, so again, I suspect the move was also a school issue. But who knows? Im just noting that people don’t leave Brooklyn bc of the crime. It’s just not a thing.

My former manager is MD at a big 4 now, she raised 3 kids in NYC. When her son didn’t get in this sports team she was livid they moved to some town where he can prep for competition. People move for outlandish reasons here, except for crime 😆

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:3 kids, 9th grade (could repeat grade if were to switch schools as very young for grade), 6th and 4th grade.

I may be offered a job in nyc. I make $350k in dc right now.

How much more would justify a move with a family from dc? Dh can work remotely $150k salary

I would need to make double and even then I wouldn't live in NYC, but a suburb. Do your kids want to move? Do they have close friendships? If they have good friends and you have a network in DC I would stay unless you may be laid off or something. Look for something new in DC. Also, what is commuting time? If it will be more if you move do you want to be away from your kids (if you take NJ transit, it can be a mess, take early trains).

I know a few families who lived in NYC with a higher HHI and they all moved/ say they are happier in the suburbs. One with 7 figure salary moved to Old Greenwich and loves it, another moved to Chatham, NJ and two who moved to Princeton, NJ. They lived in the city, loved it (some Brooklyn), but were tired of the crime, figuring out schools, and living in small apartments. Two families had kids in school and it worked out fine, the other has a toddler.

I would go look at some of these areas if you can if you are thinking of moving to see if you like certain areas/ cost of taxes etc (NJ and CT have high taxes) impact take home pay.

New Yorker here, in Manhattan. No one truly likes the suburbs all that much, they just say that. If OP is comfortable doing public school - and there are amazing publics but you have to work to get in them- living in Manhattan or Brooklyn or queens is highly preferable. Why move to NYC to not live in NYC?

Being a teenage in NYC is amazing. And not sure what you mean about crime. It’s really not that big of an issue despite what you might read.

Not true. There are many nice suburbs where people genuinely enjoy living. YOU may dislike suburbs but you’re not everyone.

I do agree that it doesn’t make a lot of sense to trade one suburb with another. Stay in the DC suburbs.

Sure, people can end up tolerating their suburb. But anyone who moves to NYC to live in NYC and then ends up moving to a NYC suburb (still very expensive and you have to commute, but the school thing is easier) does it for one of two reasons- they don’t have the $ to live how they want to live in NYC and/or they are worried their kids won’t make the cut at one of the top NYC publics.

Or safety. Friend big time lawyer NYC. Owned in Brooklyn, loved it, bought a home in suburbs during pandemic and now sold place in Brooklyn because their area which they said (I have no idea as I dont know the area) was very popular and kid friendly is not very safe anymore and has had many instances. When they went back the local playground kids don't play on anymore according to them. So that was why they moved. They owned, kids went to private, but they seem very happy in the suburbs, have lots of friends and are happy their kids can move around freely.

Where is this? I find that extremely hard to believe. Brooklyn is massively gentrified now, and even formerly ‘up and coming’ areas are $$ now and very safe. I suspect they moved for other reasons- private school tuition was too much and they didn’t get one or more of their kids into the public they wanted for them- and they didn’t want to admit this. The SHS public schools are very sought after, but they are not right for every kid, and sometimes parents have a hard time admitting that. It’s like Stuy or Hunter or bust, and they are competing against kids whose parents have been prepping them for years (yes, lots of Asians). Too bad, bc there are tons of strong options other than SHS. I know bc I know kids who have thrived in them, gone on to great colleges etc

I went to dinner with them maybe 2 weeks ago and they said they still talk to their former neighbors and there are issues. Allegedly drugs, violence, etc. They also lived in Brooklyn and Manhattan for 20 years, so they are not shocked by much. Their kids were in privates and I don't think a partner has an issue with tuition.

Wherever they lived had a housing authority nearby which they said was not really an issue when they lived there but according to their neighbors has had some incidents recently.

I am just going by what they told me (and I won't be saying what area as mutual friends read this forum). It is a different life, they have a larger house now, kids walk and bike to school, bike or walk to friends homes even at night, easy to sign up for activities.

The one complain is commuting that if you don't hit the right train you can have issues from the burbs into the city sometimes.

Again, that doesn’t fully add up. What area of Brooklyn?

I’ll add that law firm partners are not considered super rich in NYC. Private schools are 60k a year and up, and admissions are extremely competitive, so again, I suspect the move was also a school issue. But who knows? Im just noting that people don’t leave Brooklyn bc of the crime. It’s just not a thing.

Eh. There's plenty of petty unreported crime. And not all of Brooklyn is gentrified.

Brooklyn is very gentrified, certainly any neighborhood that a ‘big law partner’ who has kids would have bought in.

Even gowanus gentrified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We did a similar move with slightly younger kids right before the pandemic. We didn’t have a choice, though - I was laid off, but had to leave the area to get work bc of a non-compete that was still enforced.

Prior to the move we made (together) 300K and we don’t have family money to supplement. We lived in a DMV suburb (but not a particularly nice one) & kids were in public school - not great schools and the kids weren’t super happy.

We moved at 450K, and then I changed jobs again so we are at 600K (combined) now.

It feels like we are at about the same standard of living with regard to vacations, clothes, etc. But I guess we aren’t really at the same level at all since we rent a 1200 sf 3 br apartment on the UES. No house, relatively tiny, no yard, kids are still in public school (District 2 in NYC has really excellent public schools). It’s a very different way of life, and it is difficult to make a 1:1 comparison.

It has worked out well for us (knock on wood). The kids love public school - they aren’t sporty or really good looking or “popular”, and NYC is far, far more accepting of kids who are artistic or just different as compared to the DMV. Kids here are expected to be very independent - in 6th grade they start taking the subway to school by themselves, and the kids leave school grounds to eat lunch 8 times a month (“out lunch”). The kids organize their own social schedule and go to friends’ apartments by themselves - don’t need parents to drive them anywhere. They absolutely love the freedom, and feel bad for their friends back in Maryland.

I also never liked the suburbs, never felt comfortable socially with the other moms, am not “house proud,” and I hated yard work.
All of these “problems” are solved by NYC living. Our family also feels closer - in part because you can’t retreat to your own corner of a big house - everyone is pretty much up in each others face all the time - you’ve got to be really really mad to stomp out of the apartment and take the elevator 15 floors to wander around outside in 25 degree weather!

So, just be sure that you are ready for the lifestyle change OR a really long commute. It’s not possible to recreate a suburban lifestyle if you live in NYC proper. But that was not our goal, and I’m not entirely sure if that is your goal. With regard to the NYC suburbs, I don’t really know much about living in westchester or NJ, so I can’t comment meaningfully. But if your family wants a “reset” and suburban living is not your thing, then moving to the city for not THAT much more money might be worth it.

You just described my ideal family life. If you don’t mind me asking - how much rent do you pay? Are you set for MS and HS using public schools?

On the flip side - I know some kids who grew up on the UES and they are VERY messed up. I feel like if a teen is going to go off the rails, NYC makes the dangers much more dangerous. But I guess they aren’t drunk driving so maybe that’s a plus compared to the burbs? And these are wealthy private school kids, so maybe that’s different from your lifestyle (which although comfortable is basically UES middle class.)

What exactly do you mean by that?

[Anonymous]

No.