Are you tired of whiny millennial parents / co-workers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

LOL sounds like you are broke if you have to chop firewood for heat and fix your own appliances.

Maybe put that effort into your career so you can afford proper heating.

Notably, cutting grass, chopping wood, and fixing appliances are not daily tasks. Imagine if OP's wife made dinner only as often as he mowed the grass.

Also, funny that his complaint is about parents with kids but his solution is for 4 adults to rent a 4 bedroom apartment. With their kids sleeping on the couches, I guess. Though if all 4 adults are working to pay rent, who will stay home to take care of everything else like his wife did for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd love to talk to your wife because I am pretty sure she worked and did most of the mental load managing your family. So yes, it probably was easy for you! That's called: being a man.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. I'm an RN at the VA, meaning we get a very generous amount of leave as feds compared to RNs in other hospitals. We have a wiiiide age range among the RNs, from 25 yo to ~65 yo.

100% of us have children, some still at home and others grown now. But at some point, 100% of us have had small children at home.

The amount of time that the current under-40 crowd is away from work is nothing short of astonishing. They take all their sick days and vacation days (ok) and then they KEEP taking days off, calling out at the last minute. Three of these nurses don't have paid childcare - they just juggle with their spouse or have Mom do it. And when spouse or Mom gets the sniffles or has their own doctor appt? Why naturally my coworkers call out sick.

We -- Gen X -- absolutely did not act like this. I have no idea what has led the current crop of Millennial parents to conclude that they only need to show their face at work about 75% of the time and shove their work onto the conscientious RNs who don't call out every few days.

Childcare was way more affordable and available 20 years ago. Also, HOUSES were way less expensive 20 years ago, so there was more money in general sloshing around.

Fed salaries especially have declined relative to COL in last 20 years, you should be aware of that.

It was also more acceptable to leave kids alone and do less things 20 years ago -- now people will call CPS if your kid is walking home alone at age 8, meanwhile I did that in kinder.

Not PP but I am 47 and Gen X. My younger kid is 10. Twenty years ago I was renting a room with three other women, working 3 jobs and paying off massive student loan debt (my parents didn’t pay so I had to take out additional loans from a bank because they would not pay, and the federal government would not give me money). I did not have a house for many more years. Childcare was not cheap. I paid 200k in the first 6 years of parenting. People always assume older peo people had it easier. Often not the case. It is called being an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel you OP. I'm an RN at the VA, meaning we get a very generous amount of leave as feds compared to RNs in other hospitals. We have a wiiiide age range among the RNs, from 25 yo to ~65 yo.

100% of us have children, some still at home and others grown now. But at some point, 100% of us have had small children at home.

The amount of time that the current under-40 crowd is away from work is nothing short of astonishing. They take all their sick days and vacation days (ok) and then they KEEP taking days off, calling out at the last minute. Three of these nurses don't have paid childcare - they just juggle with their spouse or have Mom do it. And when spouse or Mom gets the sniffles or has their own doctor appt? Why naturally my coworkers call out sick.

We -- Gen X -- absolutely did not act like this. I have no idea what has led the current crop of Millennial parents to conclude that they only need to show their face at work about 75% of the time and shove their work onto the conscientious RNs who don't call out every few days.

Childcare was way more affordable and available 20 years ago. Also, HOUSES were way less expensive 20 years ago, so there was more money in general sloshing around.

Fed salaries especially have declined relative to COL in last 20 years, you should be aware of that.

It was also more acceptable to leave kids alone and do less things 20 years ago -- now people will call CPS if your kid is walking home alone at age 8, meanwhile I did that in kinder.

Not PP but I am 47 and Gen X. My younger kid is 10. Twenty years ago I was renting a room with three other women, working 3 jobs and paying off massive student loan debt (my parents didn’t pay so I had to take out additional loans from a bank because they would not pay, and the federal government would not give me money). I did not have a house for many more years. Childcare was not cheap. I paid 200k in the first 6 years of parenting. People always assume older peo people had it easier. Often not the case. It is called being an adult.

You are tail end genX; like 1 more year younger and you would be Millenial.

That's why it sucked. Trust me, for people born 6 years earlier, it was WAY different.

[Anonymous]

I’m 46 and my husband is 44 so theoretically we span generations depending where you make the cut.

For our first child (born in 2012), we put our names on 11 DC area waitlists for childcare as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Only because the childcare at my office was lottery based did we get into that. Most childcares I never heard from or we were accepted well after her first birthday. So I was very lucky to be able to commute with her. Also we could spend the $80-100 per application and I could take 5 months (4 unpaid) staying home because that’s when the childcare became availabile.

When she was 2 we moved to CA for a new job for DH. I worked mostly from home so we found childcare near DH’s new office. We flew to CA, took a few days visiting daycares and applying, paid a deposit for one, and then lost our deposit when our preferred daycare (next to DH’s new office and had infant care too) opened. When our 2nd child was born both girls went there.

When the pandemic hit our younger daughter had just turned 3. Her daycare initially closed entirely and then opened to certain people (such as children of first responders). As she approached her 4th birthday we were offered a spot, but they couldn’t accommodate her needs (she had some delays such as needing speech therapy and they said she’d be put in the two year old classroom). It took us another 3 months to find a daycare that could offer us a slot, and that slot was available two months later. It was in our neighborhood, which was great, but had lost a large number of staff and as a result had gone from being open 7-6 to being open 8:30-5. Our prior daycares made similar changes.

My husband and I both work from home - his company doesn’t have a physical headquarters but they do have retreats a few times a year. I go to the office once a month or so. Our girls are now in school but if we were recalled to offices and had to mange daycare 8:30-5 as well as commutes I have no idea how we’d do it. And we each spent a few years commuting with babies and / or toddlers so it’s not that. We’d figure it out, but if we had to spend hundreds on waitlists and leave a daycare we were happy with we’d complain too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m 46 and my husband is 44 so theoretically we span generations depending where you make the cut.

For our first child (born in 2012), we put our names on 11 DC area waitlists for childcare as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Only because the childcare at my office was lottery based did we get into that. Most childcares I never heard from or we were accepted well after her first birthday. So I was very lucky to be able to commute with her. Also we could spend the $80-100 per application and I could take 5 months (4 unpaid) staying home because that’s when the childcare became availabile.

When she was 2 we moved to CA for a new job for DH. I worked mostly from home so we found childcare near DH’s new office. We flew to CA, took a few days visiting daycares and applying, paid a deposit for one, and then lost our deposit when our preferred daycare (next to DH’s new office and had infant care too) opened. When our 2nd child was born both girls went there.

When the pandemic hit our younger daughter had just turned 3. Her daycare initially closed entirely and then opened to certain people (such as children of first responders). As she approached her 4th birthday we were offered a spot, but they couldn’t accommodate her needs (she had some delays such as needing speech therapy and they said she’d be put in the two year old classroom). It took us another 3 months to find a daycare that could offer us a slot, and that slot was available two months later. It was in our neighborhood, which was great, but had lost a large number of staff and as a result had gone from being open 7-6 to being open 8:30-5. Our prior daycares made similar changes.

My husband and I both work from home - his company doesn’t have a physical headquarters but they do have retreats a few times a year. I go to the office once a month or so. Our girls are now in school but if we were recalled to offices and had to mange daycare 8:30-5 as well as commutes I have no idea how we’d do it. And we each spent a few years commuting with babies and / or toddlers so it’s not that. We’d figure it out, but if we had to spend hundreds on waitlists and leave a daycare we were happy with we’d complain too!

For what it’s worth, having your first kid at 34 basically places you in the Millenial parent cohort. You definitely are in thick of it. But you may have had cheaper housing, and it sounds like your DH makes fairly big money.

[Anonymous]

Millennials are beginning to be the bosses but gen x wont get out of the way. Even though they can’t make a pdf to save their lives, print to the correct printer, or write an email instead of holding a meeting. Gen X have become soft and lazy in corporate settings… absolutely refusing to recognize everything could be more efficient because they fear losing their place to efficiency. Millennials are efficiency minded. They want to get the work done as quickly as possible to do other things. Their mantra is if you get your work done it doesn’t matter where you are. For older millennials this existed before the pandemic

[Anonymous]

OP here...SMD

I like some people on here get what I am saying. This generation now raising kids seems to think no one else ever had to raise kids and work...that's my point...25-35 for the most part are weak and Lazy and thinks its someone else's fault they got it hard or someone else's responsibility to help them get off their feet...

Generation of lazy selfish whiny babies who need to get their participation trophy...how bout you work hard raise a family and win much better than a participation trophy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...SMD

I like some people on here get what I am saying. This generation now raising kids seems to think no one else ever had to raise kids and work...that's my point...25-35 for the most part are weak and Lazy and thinks its someone else's fault they got it hard or someone else's responsibility to help them get off their feet...

Generation of lazy selfish whiny babies who need to get their participation trophy...how bout you work hard raise a family and win much better than a participation trophy

You are just stringing together unrelated phrases now: I'm not even sure you understand the words. Did someone make a troll bot for DCUM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Millennials are beginning to be the bosses but gen x wont get out of the way. Even though they can’t make a pdf to save their lives, print to the correct printer, or write an email instead of holding a meeting. Gen X have become soft and lazy in corporate settings… absolutely refusing to recognize everything could be more efficient because they fear losing their place to efficiency. Millennials are efficiency minded. They want to get the work done as quickly as possible to do other things. Their mantra is if you get your work done it doesn’t matter where you are. For older millennials this existed before the pandemic

That’s what is going on with RTO. Commuting into an office which means spending hours moving your laptop from one location to another, is inefficient.

[Anonymous]

Meh- I am a Gen X who has teenage Gen Z kids. There were times (like months and years) where I was completely run ragged by an over demanding job and the needs of small kids. Frankly, I would applaud anyone who figures this all out. I don’t think it’s a great badge of honor and I’d prefer that my children don’t deal with the issues I did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here...SMD

I like some people on here get what I am saying. This generation now raising kids seems to think no one else ever had to raise kids and work...that's my point...25-35 for the most part are weak and Lazy and thinks its someone else's fault they got it hard or someone else's responsibility to help them get off their feet...

Generation of lazy selfish whiny babies who need to get their participation trophy...how bout you work hard raise a family and win much better than a participation trophy

LOL, OP is so motivated and career-driven that he gets up on a Wednesday morning, runs a few miles in the snow, drinks a kale smoothie, and checks his little post on DCUM at 8:10am before heading into work iN pErSoN!

OP, again, did you answer any of our questions?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

LOL sounds like you are broke if you have to chop firewood for heat and fix your own appliances.

Maybe put that effort into your career so you can afford proper heating.

Notably, cutting grass, chopping wood, and fixing appliances are not daily tasks. Imagine if OP's wife made dinner only as often as he mowed the grass.

Also, funny that his complaint is about parents with kids but his solution is for 4 adults to rent a 4 bedroom apartment. With their kids sleeping on the couches, I guess. Though if all 4 adults are working to pay rent, who will stay home to take care of everything else like his wife did for him?

This is because OP is confusing Millennials and Gen Z. Happens a lot to older people in a state of cognitive decline. They still think Millennials are college/early 20s.

Sort of like how to 70 year olds, everyone from 15-50 looks the exact same and are all "young people", even if the 50 yo is grandma to the 15yo.

Anytime a person starts complaining about "when I was your age..." you know their mental acuity is starting to go down and they've forgotten many things. My dad is 68, still sharp as ever, and actually helps us out with paying for childcare because he remembers how hard it was.

[Anonymous]

Why is this in the relationships forum?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of the millennials I know with two working parents, even if they work from home, have some form of regular professional childcare.

+1 and they are very responsible. The ones that get me are the 20 somethings with no kids that expect time off for every friends wedding, bachelor party (destination party for which they need several days), shower (again a destination party for which they need several days) plus lots and lots of mental health days plus remote time so they can work from wherever their significant other is, and also don’t want to check email on their days away from the office. I may retire early and let the millennials figure this out!

I am an older millennial, and I agree with the 20-something attitudes. Work to live, not live to work.

I'm a Gen Xer and I also agree with this - why shouldn't you take your leave to go do fun things? I assume they're not taking PTO they don't have for this, so why do you care what they're doing with it? And you shouldn't check email while you're out of the office. You're using your leave, so take leave and be away.

Sure, use your vacation. It's a benefit and part of your compensation. Don't also disappear and take off dozens of additional days every year because you "just can't." Especially when you lie about the circumstances to try to get a BS accommodation

That is what makes you a shitty coworker

I'm the PP and I have no idea what you are talking about so maybe I'm missing something. Are these dozens of additional days LWOP?