Are you tired of whiny millennial parents / co-workers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just a few years younger than you are. When my kids were little, my husband’s work more or less expected that I would handle everything at home, and he would be available at work. (It didn’t matter that I also worked for the same hospital and knew is boss and coworkers.)

My sister is 35, and things are so different. Her husband does close to half, and that’s what’s expected. He took paternity leave when the kids were born, takes time off when they are sick half the time, goes to the doctor with them half the time, etc.

As a working woman, I think this is good.

I'm 45 with the same set up as your sister. My husband does more doctor and dentist appointments than I do, he does half the work around the house, and he takes them to their sports half the time. He also gets them ready for school and puts them to bed half the time. Same with cooking. We alternate days on this stuff so I know he actually is doing half, it's not something I'm trying to convince myself of. He also took the first four weeks off, then another four after I went back to work after 16 weeks. He dealt with kids in the morning because my commute was worse so I left before they got up and I got home earlier in the afternoons so we each had them alone for the same amount of time M-F and neither of us has ever worked weekends. Now they're older and take the bus to and from school and we both work from home so things are much easier, but he has always been 50% responsible for everything related to the family.

It sounds like you were older when you had your kids and rather than being the parent of older teens, you are more in the millennial group that the OP is complaining about. You and your husband both take time off, won’t work weekends ever, come in late after dropping kids off, leave early for daycare pickup and to make dinner, etc.

[Anonymous]

I have a few millennial colleagues who love to complain about their salaries, the cost of childcare, housing and the cost of living in general. Yet these same people are paid mid six figures, don't have any student loans, their parents pay for DisneyWorld or overseas vacations, and they received hefty down payments from their parents to buy their first houses (all of which I know because it seems nothing is private to them). I've also watched each of them order Door Dash or Uber Eats for lunch on the days we are in the office while complaining about money (so clearly money can't be too tight). It's like they're all trying to win gold at the Suffering Olympics. I don't get it but I'm pretty sure TikTok is to blame. Heh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 48 yo father of 2 teenage girls. I somehow found a way to raise both of these girls and work at the same time.

I am 100% tired of seeing people complain about daycare and how they are going to handle going back to the office...GTFOH man up and figure it our somehow my generation found a way to raise their children before remote work....

I guess I am officially the old grumpy GenX guy, but I am done dealing with this mentally weaker generation!!!

What are these millennial fathers and mothers saying about raising children?

Or are they asking for raises and more time off, because of their increased value and contributions at work, or are they citing.... children.... life....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

This is going to blow your mind. Women want the same things you want. They want a paycheck and a retirement account. That’s great your wife stayed home but many women don’t want to do that just like you likely would not have.

This is ignoring many men aren’t supportive of a woman staying home and won’t support her. Then there are divorces.

This means women are forced to work and to make it work, they need flexibility and their spouse does too for dual income families.

It seems you might be a little jealous that there are couples where both spouses work since they benefit tremendously from this.

Your wife being able to reenter the workforce after 13 years is unusual.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Considering how GenZ is shaping out, I would reserve crowing about it.

Oh, and you are the DAD? Who did pickups and drop offs, or took to the 430 gymnastics class twice a week?

I’m guessing you dropped them off at 830 and went to work, and coached soccer once a week. Your DW did all the pickup and afternoon activities 4x a week which is career nightmare fuel.

^^this.

It’s not about the pick up and drop off - it’s also the Signups, forms, carpool and playdate coordination, camp research, doctor schedules (and coordinating time off from work to do that) … all things that can be better managed when at least one parent has some flexible work arrangement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

LOL sounds like you are broke if you have to chop firewood for heat and fix your own appliances.

Maybe put that effort into your career so you can afford proper heating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

This is going to blow your mind. Women want the same things you want. They want a paycheck and a retirement account. That’s great your wife stayed home but many women don’t want to do that just like you likely would not have.

This is ignoring many men aren’t supportive of a woman staying home and won’t support her. Then there are divorces.

This means women are forced to work and to make it work, they need flexibility and their spouse does too for dual income families.

It seems you might be a little jealous that there are couples where both spouses work since they benefit tremendously from this.

Your wife being able to reenter the workforce after 13 years is unusual.

^ yes.

Op - just stop and reevaluate yourself. You are absolutely not smarter than everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

That’s an awful lot of test to say you’re a troll.

[Anonymous]

I had to find a daycare for a short period of time last year, and it was hard to find something that accommodates working hours at a reasonable rate. We ended up at a brand new center daycare with an intro rate, but even then, it seemed a lot either had scaled back on hours during covid then never returned or were charging $500/week. I don't blame people for trying to get by with other options one bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:40 something year old gen Xer here and I think it’s great that Millennials and gen Zers have made it socially acceptable to take so much time off of work! I’m a bit of a slacker and wish it was ok to do that when I was young. We put so many hours into work to the detriment of the rest of our lives.

Agree, but it’s not great when they take more time off than their managers, who are left picking up their slack. The hardworking among them will not face as much competition in advancing their careers as we did.

They are entitled to use their leave. Period. And if they have a reasonable
and understanding workplace-like mine- that wont affect career progression. But you assume everyone wants the Big Job and Big Title. Not everyone does.

Entitlement, poor work ethic + failure to meet expectations will affect your career path in any well-managed for-profit company. Happy to send our entitled twenty-something your way soon.

That’s so not true. Career path in 90% of companies is being like by your manager, usually by being a mini-me.

Work ethic, hah, what are you smoking?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am totally with you. I raised 2 D1 athletes, and 1 top 10 college admit. Lots of practices, lots of trips, lots of debates, lots of band things... while working full time. You can do it - GTFU.

Did YOU have a job other than driving your kids to travel sportsball?

I’m guessing no…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a 48 yo father of 2 teenage girls. I somehow found a way to raise both of these girls and work at the same time.

I am 100% tired of seeing people complain about daycare and how they are going to handle going back to the office...GTFOH man up and figure it our somehow my generation found a way to raise their children before remote work....

I guess I am officially the old grumpy GenX guy, but I am done dealing with this mentally weaker generation!!!

I'm a millenial mom of two teenagers, I'm 42. I have no idea what you're talking about. Daycare years were always hard. Usually for the mom, to be fair, so maybe you didn't bear the brunt of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m just a few years younger than you are. When my kids were little, my husband’s work more or less expected that I would handle everything at home, and he would be available at work. (It didn’t matter that I also worked for the same hospital and knew is boss and coworkers.)

My sister is 35, and things are so different. Her husband does close to half, and that’s what’s expected. He took paternity leave when the kids were born, takes time off when they are sick half the time, goes to the doctor with them half the time, etc.

As a working woman, I think this is good.

I'm 45 with the same set up as your sister. My husband does more doctor and dentist appointments than I do, he does half the work around the house, and he takes them to their sports half the time. He also gets them ready for school and puts them to bed half the time. Same with cooking. We alternate days on this stuff so I know he actually is doing half, it's not something I'm trying to convince myself of. He also took the first four weeks off, then another four after I went back to work after 16 weeks. He dealt with kids in the morning because my commute was worse so I left before they got up and I got home earlier in the afternoons so we each had them alone for the same amount of time M-F and neither of us has ever worked weekends. Now they're older and take the bus to and from school and we both work from home so things are much easier, but he has always been 50% responsible for everything related to the family.

It sounds like you were older when you had your kids and rather than being the parent of older teens, you are more in the millennial group that the OP is complaining about. You and your husband both take time off, won’t work weekends ever, come in late after dropping kids off, leave early for daycare pickup and to make dinner, etc.

This is probably the crux of OP complaints. Before, it was ALWAYS the mom’s job to do pickups and dinner etc. 5x a week. So the workers who were “professional” were generally the DH who did none of that.

Fast forward to more equitable relationships, and both DH and DW are doing pickups dinners, but instead of 5x week it’s 2-3x a week, so half as often.

This has allowed women to advance to professional roles, since they aren’t so hobbled by domestic roles.


But boss-manager doesn’t keep track that random employee is only leaving early 2x a week rather like than 5x a week; most aren’t paying that much attention, they just see it happen now and then and hold it against employee that they “always” leave early.

And since both DW and DH now are taking this role, the number of employees balancing domestic work has exploded in his perception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you married? Did your partner work full time out of the house? What childcare did you use for your kids, and can you quickly check if it's still open? Relevant to the discussion.

FWIW, I'm 45 and have WFH (hybrid) since my early 30s: a lot of our generation actually did use WFH to make our childcare work. Mostly not the dudes, though.

As a family we decided to raise our kids with my wife staying at home until the youngest was 13 then she joined the work force with me. We are a very traditional household where in the husband provides and the wife nurtures. We are a team just as the QB does not try to block a DE...we stay in our lanes and do what we do best. Wife cooks cleans, I cut fire wood, fix appliances, cut grass, we both share with the kids.

The point I was trying to make earlier is not that I am magical, its that my co-workers right now think they are entitled to live a lifestyle of luxury and its someone else's problem that they need day care, or mortgage rates are high, or housing costs are high, yeah no crap dum dum...I got to buy a house in 2007 at 350K watch its value go down to 150K get trapped in a mortgage, raising 2 kids, and be the only income feeling as if I was stuck....but I worked hard and somehow both myself and family survived and now I hear people younger than me cry about how hard it is to buy a house, and how lucky I am....no I put in hard work for 17 years and now I am in a better position to handle the challenges of 2025, because of the hard work I did for the last 17.

Here is an idea, go get some friends and rent a 4 BR apt for $3,000 and boom you now have a rent of 750...figure it out, stop crying life is hard and expensive....its hard and expensive for everyone...get a clue

and yeah I was trying to stir some stuff up...but that's what message boards are for...I may have mis spoke and my co-workers I am talking about may be GEN Z...21-28 yo whatever they are

Your OP said you "somehow" managed to raise kids and work without needing flexibility. Newsflash, the "somehow" was your SAH wife.

I hope she already dumped you for dismissing her from your self-narrative of all you "somehow" accomplished by your manly lonesome. If by some miracle she hasn't, get off DCUM right now and go tell her thank you for literally making your life possible. And then tomorrow, go apologize to your dual-income coworkers for being insufferable.