Failed my test

[Anonymous]

He past the test and won the Escape Room.


Congratulations to him!

Stay single!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, he wouldn’t pass my test. He should pay for what he ordered, plus your small order. A whole bottle is too much for one person and seems like a red flag. Plus too physical.

Yes. That, too. I tried to talk him out of the whole bottle he said he would take it home if we don’t finish it. Also ordered bread dish too heavy for the evening meal. I noticed he has a small belly and although he’s attractive, I’m in much better shape. We might have incompatible food habits

The mistake here was offering to pay at all. If a guy is running up a bill, be firm. Stand up for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do think your test is silly, but someone ordering way more alcohol and food and then going half and half is a red flag. Getting handsy on a first date when you don't appear to have been into it was bad as well.

So while testing people isn't a good idea, this guy doesn't seem like a good one.

Stop testing. Just expect them to pay and if they don’t or hem and haw, that’s a red flag.

I think men are confused by the offer to split and you aren’t going to get the insight that you really want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great first date, lots of common interests, decent guy close to my age, great job and claims to have great values. But two things: 1. He was too physical and 2. Agreed to my offer to split check (which was a test I use to weed out men who don’t follow gender roles). I offer to split and then watch if they gladly agree or insist on them picking the check following the unspoken dating etiquette. Those who insist on them paying get pass to date 2.

Even though I just wanted to order small drinks and he was the one “generously” ordering a whole bottle and lots of food. The bill was $100 and it’s nothing by my income level but typically first date bill for a man would be $30 max - couple drinks or coffee. This left me with unpleasant aftertaste. In my books, it’s the person who invites and orders more food pays. I feel like he didn’t try to impress me and I somehow felt used since he was physical (hands all over me, kisses etc). I didn’t really reject his advances and he’s a great kisser, but he did this in public and it pushed my comfort level somewhat.

He is a foreigner. Maybe that’s part of why he failed the test. Am I in the wrong here ?

OP has on non-native English grammar and diction, and called her data a foreigner.

Complains that a date at restaurant that services bottles of wine included food too (wth?) and was more expensive than a coffee shopmlm

Claims to want traditional gender roles, but decided to choose and go on a date alone instead of with a chaperone after her parents agreed to a match.

Troll troll troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, he wouldn’t pass my test. He should pay for what he ordered, plus your small order. A whole bottle is too much for one person and seems like a red flag. Plus too physical.

Yes. That, too. I tried to talk him out of the whole bottle he said he would take it home if we don’t finish it. Also ordered bread dish too heavy for the evening meal. I noticed he has a small belly and although he’s attractive, I’m in much better shape. We might have incompatible food habits

The mistake here was offering to pay at all. If a guy is running up a bill, be firm. Stand up for yourself.

Maybe - but I’m not a greedy person and would pay to check a person’s reaction in some situations like that. His reaction confirmed my feeling of a hesitant vibe to pay for what he ordered. It saved me time and money spent on useless 2-3 dates with him in the future. I feel like it’s a good investment

To those who say I’m single - yes, by choice. I could have entered a relationship many times over already but I want to find a really good match for life. I was married for about 20 years, married very early in college. So no rush on my end to tie the knot or have babies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It feels "demeaning" to you to take out your wallet and contribute to the check at a restaurant?? Would his advances have been more welcome if he had dropped some serious cash first? Ooof. You sound very mixed up, OP.

His advances and words would feel way more in line with his real actions. If he offered to pick something for me from the menu - he should be paying for it. Not me.

In other words - I don’t trust him now. I feel like maybe a man just wants to find a financially stable woman to settle in dmv. He also spoke about too many future plans too soon including meeting my mom. You get it. I’m passing

Trickle trickle trickle facts keep coming....

Begging you to find some kind of site or hobby where you can meet men who are traditionally minded like you want. But it's interesting that you don't understand that traditionally minded men are also men who might be likelier to "speak about future plans" much sooner than you seem to want. Can't have it both ways.

OP is storytrolling, not dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound exhausting.

This^. Offering to split without any intention to do so, allowing but judging public display of intimacy, going out with a foreigner but not being okay with it. Why play games? Say what you mean and mean what you say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, he wouldn’t pass my test. He should pay for what he ordered, plus your small order. A whole bottle is too much for one person and seems like a red flag. Plus too physical.

Yes. That, too. I tried to talk him out of the whole bottle he said he would take it home if we don’t finish it. Also ordered bread dish too heavy for the evening meal. I noticed he has a small belly and although he’s attractive, I’m in much better shape. We might have incompatible food habits

The mistake here was offering to pay at all. If a guy is running up a bill, be firm. Stand up for yourself.

Maybe - but I’m not a greedy person and would pay to check a person’s reaction in some situations like that. His reaction confirmed my feeling of a hesitant vibe to pay for what he ordered. It saved me time and money spent on useless 2-3 dates with him in the future. I feel like it’s a good investment

To those who say I’m single - yes, by choice. I could have entered a relationship many times over already but I want to find a really good match for life. I was married for about 20 years, married very early in college. So no rush on my end to tie the knot or have babies.

Expired, damaged goods. No man with traditional values would go near a relationship with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great first date, lots of common interests, decent guy close to my age, great job and claims to have great values. But two things: 1. He was too physical and 2. Agreed to my offer to split check (which was a test I use to weed out men who don’t follow gender roles). I offer to split and then watch if they gladly agree or insist on them picking the check following the unspoken dating etiquette. Those who insist on them paying get pass to date 2.

Even though I just wanted to order small drinks and he was the one “generously” ordering a whole bottle and lots of food. The bill was $100 and it’s nothing by my income level but typically first date bill for a man would be $30 max - couple drinks or coffee. This left me with unpleasant aftertaste. In my books, it’s the person who invites and orders more food pays. I feel like he didn’t try to impress me and I somehow felt used since he was physical (hands all over me, kisses etc). I didn’t really reject his advances and he’s a great kisser, but he did this in public and it pushed my comfort level somewhat.

He is a foreigner. Maybe that’s part of why he failed the test. Am I in the wrong here ?

Your reasoning is stupid. If you make half a million a year, it means that you are somebody in your profession, and that paired with you having been married before puts you at least at 35 if not older. What the heck are you doing making out in public on a first date? Is this what you do on all dates?

Per your payment test, your mammas rules work in a situation where the guy has been courting you for at least a bit, and then invites you out. You guys have gone past the quick physical chemistry test. In your situation, you find a guy online and want him to act in a different way.

We are both execs in our 40s; he’s 2 years younger. One of the reasons I was uncomfortable kissing in a hotspot bar. I told him but he did pull me towards himself couple times pretty authoritarian and said - why do you care? Who cares ? He’s from LA if that matters.
I’m not interested in being a hot mamma for some horny Latino guy

Thought you wanted an alpha?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I was taught by my mother “a decent woman always offers to split and a decent men always politely declines at 1st date”. So far, it helped me to weed out people with hidden intentions of using me or keeping score in relationships

A decent women isn't manipulative or have hidden intentions to use men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Paying for food you eat in public is demeaning to you?
Keeping score is a fail on your test, but by very definition you're keeping score.
You suck.

Of course it’s demeaning for a woman if she pays for food that a man allegedly generously ordered himself for the date. How is that be even a question?

If he was my colleague - different thing. But even male colleagues usually pay at lunch

Wow you still think you're a 25 year old sugar baby, 20 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Great first date, lots of common interests, decent guy close to my age, great job and claims to have great values. But two things: 1. He was too physical and 2. Agreed to my offer to split check (which was a test I use to weed out men who don’t follow gender roles). I offer to split and then watch if they gladly agree or insist on them picking the check following the unspoken dating etiquette. Those who insist on them paying get pass to date 2.

Even though I just wanted to order small drinks and he was the one “generously” ordering a whole bottle and lots of food. The bill was $100 and it’s nothing by my income level but typically first date bill for a man would be $30 max - couple drinks or coffee. This left me with unpleasant aftertaste. In my books, it’s the person who invites and orders more food pays. I feel like he didn’t try to impress me and I somehow felt used since he was physical (hands all over me, kisses etc). I didn’t really reject his advances and he’s a great kisser, but he did this in public and it pushed my comfort level somewhat.

He is a foreigner. Maybe that’s part of why he failed the test. Am I in the wrong here ?

Your reasoning is stupid. If you make half a million a year, it means that you are somebody in your profession, and that paired with you having been married before puts you at least at 35 if not older. What the heck are you doing making out in public on a first date? Is this what you do on all dates?

Per your payment test, your mammas rules work in a situation where the guy has been courting you for at least a bit, and then invites you out. You guys have gone past the quick physical chemistry test. In your situation, you find a guy online and want him to act in a different way.

We are both execs in our 40s; he’s 2 years younger. One of the reasons I was uncomfortable kissing in a hotspot bar. I told him but he did pull me towards himself couple times pretty authoritarian and said - why do you care? Who cares ? He’s from LA if that matters.
I’m not interested in being a hot mamma for some horny Latino guy

Thought you wanted an alpha?

Trying to imitate TikToker stories but has no idea what she's doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound exhausting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell is a small drink? Stay home with your damn $30 and your tests. Don't test anyone in public. I have waited on bunch of such couple; it is so uncomfortable.
Where did you eat' a lot of food' and 'got a bottle' for $100? I would have handed my card long ago if the bill was so small. You are the awkward one with mentioning $100 when it's nothing at your income level. Clearly it's something. You make women look crazy.
Had you brought up just the physical part, I'd be with you.

The total bill was $100 and it was a very small amount to even split, in my opinion . I did get a slight vibe he was hesitant to hand over his card waiting for my reaction as well. So when I offered to split before heading to bathroom to which he quickly agreed and even praised me.

Yes, I think a man should have already actively waived the waiter and handed over his card just saying “no worries, it’s on me”. Particular if the date was with lots of kissing and he enjoyed it as much as he had claimed

I won’t be seeing him again. Thanks everyone. It was nothing to talk about check but says a lot about mismatched cultures and his pretend vigorous generosity ordering for me.

You need to pay for all that good kissing you got.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Great first date, lots of common interests, decent guy close to my age, great job and claims to have great values. But two things: 1. He was too physical and 2. Agreed to my offer to split check (which was a test I use to weed out men who don’t follow gender roles). I offer to split and then watch if they gladly agree or insist on them picking the check following the unspoken dating etiquette. Those who insist on them paying get pass to date 2.

Even though I just wanted to order small drinks and he was the one “generously” ordering a whole bottle and lots of food. The bill was $100 and it’s nothing by my income level but typically first date bill for a man would be $30 max - couple drinks or coffee. This left me with unpleasant aftertaste. In my books, it’s the person who invites and orders more food pays. I feel like he didn’t try to impress me and I somehow felt used since he was physical (hands all over me, kisses etc). I didn’t really reject his advances and he’s a great kisser, but he did this in public and it pushed my comfort level somewhat.

He is a foreigner. Maybe that’s part of why he failed the test. Am I in the wrong here ?

What did your chaperoned say?