Failed my test

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And if you met on the internet and he lets you pay and didn’t pass your test, he probably wasn’t into you. You probably didn’t pass his test either.

OP here - yes, this is why it exists. Guys expect women to sleep with them on 3rd date. And men f..k anyone as they are searching for “one”. I would want to know if he’s really into me before him getting in my panties

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you met on the internet and he lets you pay and didn’t pass your test, he probably wasn’t into you. You probably didn’t pass his test either.

OP here - yes, this is why it exists. Guys expect women to sleep with them on 3rd date. And men f..k anyone as they are searching for “one”. I would want to know if he’s really into me before him getting in my panties

You appear to have a very transactional view of relationships. Perhaps this hasn’t actually worked out for you as well as you think.

[Anonymous]

You are entirely wrong.

You are misrepresenting who you are by offering to pay. Setting a trap really.

I, for example, am offended by a man who insists on paying. He is not respecting my autonomy in such matters, right off the bat. So they can only win by taking you at face value. Believing that you are being authentic.

(Some feminists would feel his is imposing
his world view by making her beholding to him.)

You are a game player, and he dodged a bullet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you met on the internet and he lets you pay and didn’t pass your test, he probably wasn’t into you. You probably didn’t pass his test either.

OP here - yes, this is why it exists. Guys expect women to sleep with them on 3rd date. And men f..k anyone as they are searching for “one”. I would want to know if he’s really into me before him getting in my panties

You appear to have a very transactional view of relationships. Perhaps this hasn’t actually worked out for you as well as you think.

Men are very transactional - they are the ones seeing women through a prisms of how much he’s able to spend on her. Read what guys above wrote: they pay if they perceive the woman as hot. I just learned this male side in a hard way and apply in dating. Yes it takes time to find a man who is really into you and something long term. I don’t have to sleep with or date everyone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are entirely wrong.

You are misrepresenting who you are by offering to pay. Setting a trap really.

I, for example, am offended by a man who insists on paying. He is not respecting my autonomy in such matters, right off the bat. So they can only win by taking you at face value. Believing that you are being authentic.

(Some feminists would feel his is imposing
his world view by making her beholding to him.)

You are a game player, and he dodged a bullet.

It’s nothing to do with you autonomy, it’s a general principal the one who invited pays. Most men just say - no worries it’s on me since I’m invited. You can take the next one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you want to be a trad wife, we get it. This man is not for you.

Actually, not. I want to have a partner who is truly giving and generous. And who would support me in difficult times. I make half a million and was contributing higher share towards joint expenses in marriage and a relationship I had post divorce. But being ok when a woman to take out her wallet in restaurants is demeaning to me. I don’t want to be that woman

Once OPs start coming back and trickling out details like "I make half a million," the whole story starts to smell. Oh, I'm not doubting OP might be a high earner, just doubting that anyone cares nearly as much about it as she does.

Hey, OP, find the recent thread here by the woman whose boyfriend suddenly announced he was tired of paying for things and she had to start picking up bills when they went out too. You could get your trad man who pays for things, then find out he's been resenting it, and you, all along--after you've already sunk months or years into the relationship. Have fun!

That situation won’t apply to me. I start inviting men and contributing very early on, as soon as he says to be exclusive. I usually would get tickets to shows, avia fare or hotel but never pay for a man’s food in public.

Your rule on this is odd. Why is food the dividing line? Why only when in public? You have some hang ups to explore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the hell is a small drink? Stay home with your damn $30 and your tests. Don't test anyone in public. I have waited on bunch of such couple; it is so uncomfortable.
Where did you eat' a lot of food' and 'got a bottle' for $100? I would have handed my card long ago if the bill was so small. You are the awkward one with mentioning $100 when it's nothing at your income level. Clearly it's something. You make women look crazy.
Had you brought up just the physical part, I'd be with you.

The total bill was $100 and it was a very small amount to even split, in my opinion . I did get a slight vibe he was hesitant to hand over his card waiting for my reaction as well. So when I offered to split before heading to bathroom to which he quickly agreed and even praised me.

Yes, I think a man should have already actively waived the waiter and handed over his card just saying “no worries, it’s on me”. Particular if the date was with lots of kissing and he enjoyed it as much as he had claimed

I won’t be seeing him again. Thanks everyone. It was nothing to talk about check but says a lot about mismatched cultures and his pretend vigorous generosity ordering for me.

Lots of kissing? In a restaurant on a first date?? Who paid should be the least of your issues.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, please let this be a fake teenager post. Do women actually do this?

If you want him to pay, say so. If you can't speak up for yourself, pease stay single and leave us humans alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are entirely wrong.

You are misrepresenting who you are by offering to pay. Setting a trap really.

I, for example, am offended by a man who insists on paying. He is not respecting my autonomy in such matters, right off the bat. So they can only win by taking you at face value. Believing that you are being authentic.

(Some feminists would feel his is imposing
his world view by making her beholding to him.)

You are a game player, and he dodged a bullet.

It’s nothing to do with you autonomy, it’s a general principal the one who invited pays. Most men just say - no worries it’s on me since I’m invited. You can take the next one

Then don’t offer. That is my objection. You don’t mean it. Adults should not set traps for each other. It is adversarial, though you claim to seek a generous person.

And it sounds like you would not mind a man saying, “ you get the next one.” Yet you won’t pay for a man’s food in public (???). Inscrutable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you met on the internet and he lets you pay and didn’t pass your test, he probably wasn’t into you. You probably didn’t pass his test either.

OP here - yes, this is why it exists. Guys expect women to sleep with them on 3rd date. And men f..k anyone as they are searching for “one”. I would want to know if he’s really into me before him getting in my panties

lol Come back in a year when you are complaining that your boyfriend is uninterested in sex. You low drive people need to date your own kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ugh, please let this be a fake teenager post. Do women actually do this?

If you want him to pay, say so. If you can't speak up for yourself, pease stay single and leave us humans alone.

Yes your son will be dealing with people like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you met on the internet and he lets you pay and didn’t pass your test, he probably wasn’t into you. You probably didn’t pass his test either.

OP here - yes, this is why it exists. Guys expect women to sleep with them on 3rd date. And men f..k anyone as they are searching for “one”. I would want to know if he’s really into me before him getting in my panties

You appear to have a very transactional view of relationships. Perhaps this hasn’t actually worked out for you as well as you think.

Men are very transactional - they are the ones seeing women through a prisms of how much he’s able to spend on her. Read what guys above wrote: they pay if they perceive the woman as hot. I just learned this male side in a hard way and apply in dating. Yes it takes time to find a man who is really into you and something long term. I don’t have to sleep with or date everyone

And your mistake is going to be generalizing “men”. If you automatically expect all men to be like this, then it’s gonna be really hard to discern the ones that are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you really need to work on your writing/communication skills. Sounds like you were testing him for gender roles (he should split bill) but then are p*ssed that he did since he ordered more than you PLUS you have a $30 limit on first day cost.

If that is the case, then you are contradicting yourself.

I don’t have a “limit” on the bill cost. That’s what was the typical max bill for a man at first dates with me in the past.
No my test was if he would decline my offer to split and insist on paying himself as the man who invites and chose all items on the menu while I only asked for a $10 drink. I’m not comfortable paying for a man for food - taking out credit card, everyone watching me sign the check etc. I do split other expenses in LTR
I prefer when a man follows standard gender roles

So your test is whether someone can read your mind? This man dodged a bullet.

No the test is whether someone knows and follows dating etiquette and willing to show he prefers to follow standard gender roles in relationship

Speaking of gender roles, what are you doing out of the kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you really need to work on your writing/communication skills. Sounds like you were testing him for gender roles (he should split bill) but then are p*ssed that he did since he ordered more than you PLUS you have a $30 limit on first day cost.

If that is the case, then you are contradicting yourself.

I don’t have a “limit” on the bill cost. That’s what was the typical max bill for a man at first dates with me in the past.
No my test was if he would decline my offer to split and insist on paying himself as the man who invites and chose all items on the menu while I only asked for a $10 drink. I’m not comfortable paying for a man for food - taking out credit card, everyone watching me sign the check etc. I do split other expenses in LTR
I prefer when a man follows standard gender roles

So your test is whether someone can read your mind? This man dodged a bullet.

No the test is whether someone knows and follows dating etiquette and willing to show he prefers to follow standard gender roles in relationship

Speaking of gender roles, what are you doing out of the kitchen?

Ooh, good one. So, OP, what happens when you get married, he insists on you quitting your job, you getting an “allowance,” and any daughters you have being taught cooking, cleaning, and embroidery and denied a college education?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And if you met on the internet and he lets you pay and didn’t pass your test, he probably wasn’t into you. You probably didn’t pass his test either.

OP here - yes, this is why it exists. Guys expect women to sleep with them on 3rd date. And men f..k anyone as they are searching for “one”. I would want to know if he’s really into me before him getting in my panties

You sound exhausting. If I followed your posts, you let this guy kiss and have his arm on you during this first date. This first date was an online date. You think guys expect sex on the third date.

Lady, you are firing and I am a woman.

I would not kiss or let a guy touch me at all, even on the shoulder, if I didn’t like him. If we had chemistry, sure. I would probably be offended if the date didn’t pay, not because I can’t pay my share but because I would feel like this guy isn’t into me. I don’t think a date has ever not paid for me, at least the first date.