In-laws and their kids eat all our food

[Anonymous]

OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My guess is that the IL's car on the way to OP's Memorial Day BBQ includes this convo:

-Mom, can we stop and get some lunch before we get there? There is never enough food and I sit there and starve and then have to try to find something in the pantry!
-No, kids, that would be rude! Aunt Sally is just a little quirky about hosting. We have to do this once a year. I'll feed you when you get home.
-But that's sooo long from now. She's going to give me a pickle and a pig-in-a-blanket and call it lunch. And then I'll have to sit there and listen to my stomach grumble all afternoon!

We have to stop for food after visiting some elderly family members. They prep 1 hotdog per person. We bring sides but they prepare the mains and have just forgotten what kids eat.
Even my mom, at 60, has started the intake decline. She does a good job when hosting but we were at an event and I asked her if she wanted to add to the order we were picking up. It would be like 1130ish and she had eaten breakfast at 730. Her reply was, oh thanks okay I had a piece of toast for breakfast. Yes she could have just been being nice or not wanted what we were getting but Ive also seen her eat on vacation. My mom used to eat 2 eggs, bacon or sausage, 2 pieces of raisin toast, fruit, and coffee for breakfast almost every day when we were growing up. Its just a change that happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

How many people and how many hours?

Dont allow access to the pantry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

If that were my niece or nephew - I would call them and ask what they want to eat. Buy exactly what they want and have it out for them. My mom is on a special diet and I accommodate her and anyone else with allergies, special diets, disabilities, etc. This is your job as a host!

I even do this for my kids’ friends that come for play dates. My job is to make people feel welcome in my home and I take that job seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the cost of hosting.

This is ridiculous. Guests are not entitled to lace into your freezer and start defrosting steaks. If you're still hungry, ask nicely for more. But don't help yourself.

For FAMILY (particularly for my nieces and nephews), I would rather skew the other direction. They should feel completely welcome in my home, just as my own children do. I would expect what I expect from my own children - ask first (if making some big sort of meal) and clean up after themselves. If they want to help themselves to fruit, bowls of cereal, chips, completely fine. It's one weekend! Even if money is tight, I'm having a hard time imagining a scenario in which you can't afford to feed extra houseguests for a weekend. Go to Walmart or Aldi, stuff isn't that expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

Yeah, no, you're either lying about what or how much you serve, or you are lying that they are getting into rice cakes, FFS. Whatever, hope you enjoy your troll.

[Anonymous]

Just came to this post.

OP - it is 💯 acceptable to say, ‘hey bro, we are going to buy some snack and prepare the meals, but you really should bring your kids’ favorites snacks and drinks. I won’t have any sodas, but happy to put anything you bring in our fridge. We know we all eat a lot and I want you to feel like you have some of your favorite things here!’

My family also eats a lot and I bring bags full of food when I visit my BIL and SIL. I would NEVER expect to eat their snacks and drinks. Meals are ALWAYS a conversation, who gets what / who makes what. (ie, they will make main dishes, I will provide drinks or sides or dessert.)
You cannot be expected to feed a large group for days. Totally rude for guests with hungry kids to not bring at the very least snacks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, it is Memorial Day (almost) and my bro and sis in law and their three kids are coming over. It should be called "Memorial Day" because by the team they leave I have a vague memory of when we used to have food in the house. Of course, we are planning ( prob gonna rain) to make burgers and dogs and all, and that's cool . We expect them to eat that. But you have never seen anything like their kids. They are big boys 9 16 year old twins) and a younger girl who is a gymnast, and they are RAVENOUS. Every time they come over, they leave our house more barren than the surface of the moon. The cereal is gone, the candy is gone, the soda is gone, the chips are gone, any baked good is gone, hell even our dog gets nervous. The thing is- they never offer to pay for their children's assaults on our pantry.
I know this sounds trivial to some, but we aren't rich and their visits seriously wipe out an entire grocery run. Is there a tactful way to say "Hey, can you help replace the stuff your children devour?" or do you think we are just stuck ?

Don't invite every time, ask to take turns hosting evenly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

How many people and how many hours?

Dont allow access to the pantry.

8-10. I forgot to mention that MIL likes to wait until the last second to say she is coming. Not sure why, but in her mind there is this big dramatic buildup and then a massive flood of relief engulfs the family as she announces that she will be coming.

[Anonymous]

I think it's totally reasonable to put labels on a few things ("Please leave -- this is for packed lunches for the coming week") and to ask someone whose opening the fridge, "Hey, Larlo, some of the stuff is off limits, so please check before eating," but people eat food. And teenagers eat a lot of food.

If this is a financial hardship for you, open up to your ILs: We can't afford to host this year unless you buy the food. Do you want to take over, or bring stuff to our house, or just skip this year?

But if your objection is to hungry people eating, you need to learn to cope.

[Anonymous]

Troll effort 7, would have been better if they were fat or bulemic or hillbillies with no teeth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just turn it into a potluck.

Have your husband send out a message something like:

Hey family, we are excited to have you all over on Memorial Day for our cook-out. This year, we are having a potluck.

Susie and I will provide drinks, burgers, hot dogs and fixings. Larlo, can your family bring the sides and snacks? And Mom/ Dad, can you bring a fruit salad?

This is much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would have a problem with any guests helping themselves to food that was not out/offered. I do think you have to realize the 16 year old boys eat a ton...so like 3 hamburgers is not unexpected. Be sure you are serving enough at the meal.

Eating 3 hamburgers is overeating.

Not for a teen boy athlete.

Then he should eat a snack before he comes over and not act like a starved Neanderthal. Rude.

DP

OMG! No!

As a host you need to prepare for this. Plus, my teen daughter (15) is 5’7” and 95lbs. She is very athletic and can easily eat 3 hamburgers! Yesterday we had a BBQ and she ate 2 steaks and some chicken. I was the same at that age. The host needs to prepare for this and if she cannot afford it, then she needs to tell her brother “please bring a side and dessert” or whatever.

Yikes! You need a nutritionist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t go on a Costco run before they visit. Take non-perishables and hide them if needed.

Serve an appropriate amount of food with sides and fruit and veggies - assume a 16yr old boy is like 2x of an adult male’s portions.

If kids start rooting around in your cupboards and pantry for snacks just say “we didn’t get a chance to stock up because we were preparing for your visit.” Also teach them not to open any unopened containers. Half-filled box of Cheezitz? Fine. Unopened box of cereal in the pantry - off limits.

Wow you have a lot of rules for your family!

I like that my family doesn’t expect me to wait on them and will just help themselves. True guests are different, but this is her brother and his family. When I’m a guest at my brothers house I go in his pantry, as do my children. Of course my kids are usually accompanied by this kids looking for snacks. Same applies to my house when they’re all over here. I don’t want to have to make them coffee or whatever, they can just get their own nespresso capsule or glass of wine or whatever. The kids know anything in the bins within reach in the pantry is fair game - which is basically anything they could want because the higher shelves are flour, pasta, cans, etc.

“Anything in the bins” - that is exactly what I am talking about. We have a snack cupboard I keep stocked with pretzels, crackers, chips, granola bars, etc. However I also have a pantry. If there is a Costco size sealed box of snack size chips and a shrinkwrapped flat of Gatorade I am planning to bring to a baseball game on Tuesday evening, I expect that it will be there when I go to load my car. If I have a block of cheese, new in the wrapper, that I purchased to make a recipe on Wednesday for dinner, I should not have to inventory my fridge after guests leave to determine if they ate my ingredients.
My kids and their friends help themselves to food at my home, but they also have enough sense to ask before they dig into something that might be part of a snack-sign up or recipe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here! I am enjoying this, even for those who are slamming me. Believe me, we have more than enough food: six racks of ribs, 6 pounds of 80/20 burger meat, packs of Nathan's hot dogs, fruit salad ( well we will have it) , potato salad, beer, wine, soda, juice, Fried chicken, watermelon, the works. I am telling you though, these kids are bottomless pits and what generally happens is that they start eating like cups of applesauce or yogurts, or fruits, chips, etc that we don't even put out and are meant for school lunches. We also have one kid who is an athlete in training and likes to have certain things around- rice cakes, quinoa in cups, peanut butter, chocolate milk etc, and all of that gets annihilated too. I just think it is kind of rude to watch your kids sack someone else's pantry family or not .

I agree it's rude. My teenage athletes go places all the time where food is served and they learn to eat what is provided (which is typically is a fine amount) and if they are still hungry later they get a snack at home. Do people who disagree that it's rude allow their teens to buy 3 meals at restaurants? I doubt it - they eat what they are served. It's not like these kids are being starved. As long as you have a reasonable amount of food, and it sounds like you do, then they shouldn't have any reason to raid your cupboards.