DP. We can only control ourselves, not other people. |
This is how you save your marriage OP. |
Why are you picking this as your battle OP? WHY?
Don't you have any larger issues with DH? |
That doesn’t excuse poor behavior from a partner. It takes two to have a partnership. |
It's not excusing the other partner. It's just the reality of life. The partner did not write here about advice; OP did. And all we can say is what she can do to change her part in the dynamic. If the partner wrote here we'd be telling him what HE could do differently. You can blame the other partner all you want, but it's not getting sh!t done. |
Send out laundry and have everyone put theirs away when it is returned folded. Automate grocery order and get delivered. Hire cleaners. Have an organizer come in quarterly to help create and maintain systems and help purge. Minimize what needs to be done. Train kids to make lunches after dinner and to pack backpacks. |
OP, you didn't tee up this thread appropriately. It isn't about the little things. It's about this HUGE imbalance of workload in your marriage. That's not little at all. |
Get your OCD treated and don’t bring stuff up in the moment until you do. You sound much, much nuttier here than you think. |
Ok! Now we are getting somewhere! Yes, absolute you can go to counseling for help discussing & tackling the division of labor. Many, many couples struggle with this, so tackle this problem head on, rather than getting into 1,000 tiny arguments. If you don’t want therapy, get the Fair Play deck & use that to help you 2 work it out. And also, like others have said, this is your house & his house, so you can’t always dictate the cleanliness level (or you can, but that’s how you end up in charge of 90% of the work). Whatever you 2 decide is DH’s domain/area to manage, you have to let him manage it to what he feels is acceptable. So that may mean choosing areas where you are able to let go a little bit. |
Someone still has to manage all of that and it doesn't sound like its going to be the DH. It sucks OP. And women on this site love to tell us that our DH's sucking is our fault. Its not. |
OP -- he's gets a 50% say in what goes on in the house. An equal say. Equal to yours.
You don't get more than 50%, for any issue, just because your way is more civilized. |
Good lord, stop nagging over minute things. |
As long as the bottom of the plate wasn't dirty and it was placed straight rather than at a angle, this doesn't strike me as a problem. |
OP, you are the problem here. |