Happily married. Also find myself fantasizing about cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love to fantasize, but I would never cheat.

+2. Her younger sister is a smoke show, but I would never act on it.

You assume the younger sister would go for it if you did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to, I have zero desire to blow up my good marriage, hurt my wonderful husband, or harm the loving family I've helped create for my kids.

But I'm going through some kind of hormonal thing and I'm insanely horny lately and have also developed an intense crush on a man in my orbit. Again, no interest in actually doing anything about it. But think about it all. the. time.

Has anyone been through this? Did it pass eventually? I'm almost enjoying it because it's been so long since I had that feeling of serious crush with strong physical attraction/chemistry. But it's also stressful because I feel a little guilty about the thoughts I'm having, and also worried that it's written all over my face.

Please tell me your stories of managing a midlife crush while happily married! I'm sitting here trying to work and instead engaging in some very cheesy fantasies and trying not to blush.

As a single woman who has been approached by many married men in a similar situation, please stay away from me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

Now think about how she probably feels *all of the time* without that hour. Taken for granted, overlooked, overworked. Somebody brings her a box of chocolates she mentioned she liked in casual conversation and that’s more thought and care than she’s received in months, maybe years. And the person tells her she’s beautiful. And listens to her, perhaps for an entire hour.

Cheating is terrible and never worth it but I can see how it could happen. My marriage is a good one, DH is a great and thoughtful partner and an incredible dad, but even I have been tempted, thankfully didn’t cross the line. After that experience I am not so sure that cheating could never happen to my marriage, on either side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

Now think about how she probably feels *all of the time* without that hour. Taken for granted, overlooked, overworked. Somebody brings her a box of chocolates she mentioned she liked in casual conversation and that’s more thought and care than she’s received in months, maybe years. And the person tells her she’s beautiful. And listens to her, perhaps for an entire hour.

Cheating is terrible and never worth it but I can see how it could happen. My marriage is a good one, DH is a great and thoughtful partner and an incredible dad, but even I have been tempted, thankfully didn’t cross the line. After that experience I am not so sure that cheating could never happen to my marriage, on either side.

Women will always justify their cheating. Hey it's okay if you choose to cheat and betray your spouse. Own it. Don't justify it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

Now think about how she probably feels *all of the time* without that hour. Taken for granted, overlooked, overworked. Somebody brings her a box of chocolates she mentioned she liked in casual conversation and that’s more thought and care than she’s received in months, maybe years. And the person tells her she’s beautiful. And listens to her, perhaps for an entire hour.

Cheating is terrible and never worth it but I can see how it could happen. My marriage is a good one, DH is a great and thoughtful partner and an incredible dad, but even I have been tempted, thankfully didn’t cross the line. After that experience I am not so sure that cheating could never happen to my marriage, on either side.

There are men who are EXPERTS are doing/saying the right thing just so they can run through you, pump you and dump you. Don't get it twisted. They only paid attention to you so they can f**k you. When men act on their pure animalistic instinct they are incredibly efficient leaving behind them a woman happy for an hour but worse off mentally afterwards.

If you are unhappy in your marriage leave. Don't you use your children as excuses, the financial situation as excuse. Money comes and goes. When you are single again you will find your MAN.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

Now think about how she probably feels *all of the time* without that hour. Taken for granted, overlooked, overworked. Somebody brings her a box of chocolates she mentioned she liked in casual conversation and that’s more thought and care than she’s received in months, maybe years. And the person tells her she’s beautiful. And listens to her, perhaps for an entire hour.

Cheating is terrible and never worth it but I can see how it could happen. My marriage is a good one, DH is a great and thoughtful partner and an incredible dad, but even I have been tempted, thankfully didn’t cross the line. After that experience I am not so sure that cheating could never happen to my marriage, on either side.

There are men who are EXPERTS are doing/saying the right thing just so they can run through you, pump you and dump you. Don't get it twisted. They only paid attention to you so they can f**k you. When men act on their pure animalistic instinct they are incredibly efficient leaving behind them a woman happy for an hour but worse off mentally afterwards.

If you are unhappy in your marriage leave. Don't you use your children as excuses, the financial situation as excuse. Money comes and goes. When you are single again you will find your MAN.

The entire premise of your post is that sex is bad and women shouldn’t want it. So I can’t even…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

Now think about how she probably feels *all of the time* without that hour. Taken for granted, overlooked, overworked. Somebody brings her a box of chocolates she mentioned she liked in casual conversation and that’s more thought and care than she’s received in months, maybe years. And the person tells her she’s beautiful. And listens to her, perhaps for an entire hour.

Cheating is terrible and never worth it but I can see how it could happen. My marriage is a good one, DH is a great and thoughtful partner and an incredible dad, but even I have been tempted, thankfully didn’t cross the line. After that experience I am not so sure that cheating could never happen to my marriage, on either side.

There are men who are EXPERTS are doing/saying the right thing just so they can run through you, pump you and dump you. Don't get it twisted. They only paid attention to you so they can f**k you. When men act on their pure animalistic instinct they are incredibly efficient leaving behind them a woman happy for an hour but worse off mentally afterwards.

If you are unhappy in your marriage leave. Don't you use your children as excuses, the financial situation as excuse. Money comes and goes. When you are single again you will find your MAN.

The entire premise of your post is that sex is bad and women shouldn’t want it. So I can’t even…

I think he made excellent points. The way I read it is that if you are truly unhappy and want sex or whatnot and you are lacking it at home, what stops you from divorcing your spouse? And even better you won't have to lie and hide when you are single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't do it, OP. I waded into that pool during my midlife crisis and ended up feeling used. Men love married women because they can use them and discard them. Feeling amazing for an hour compared to feeling discarded for days/weeks/months. It's better in your head than it will ever be in real life.

Wow…..
If someone can make a woman feel amazing for an entire HOUR…..🔥……then it might just be totally worth it.

Of course, I am only kidding.

Now think about how she probably feels *all of the time* without that hour. Taken for granted, overlooked, overworked. Somebody brings her a box of chocolates she mentioned she liked in casual conversation and that’s more thought and care than she’s received in months, maybe years. And the person tells her she’s beautiful. And listens to her, perhaps for an entire hour.

Cheating is terrible and never worth it but I can see how it could happen. My marriage is a good one, DH is a great and thoughtful partner and an incredible dad, but even I have been tempted, thankfully didn’t cross the line. After that experience I am not so sure that cheating could never happen to my marriage, on either side.

There are men who are EXPERTS are doing/saying the right thing just so they can run through you, pump you and dump you. Don't get it twisted. They only paid attention to you so they can f**k you. When men act on their pure animalistic instinct they are incredibly efficient leaving behind them a woman happy for an hour but worse off mentally afterwards.

If you are unhappy in your marriage leave. Don't you use your children as excuses, the financial situation as excuse. Money comes and goes. When you are single again you will find your MAN.

The entire premise of your post is that sex is bad and women shouldn’t want it. So I can’t even…

I think he made excellent points. The way I read it is that if you are truly unhappy and want sex or whatnot and you are lacking it at home, what stops you from divorcing your spouse? And even better you won't have to lie and hide when you are single.

You make excellent points. The other poster shamed women (and men) for having any wants or needs, emotional or sexual—that was the premise of the posts. It wasn’t about integrity, it was about shame. That shame is what steers women toward unfulfilling marriages and keeps them in such marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm not going to, I have zero desire to blow up my good marriage, hurt my wonderful husband, or harm the loving family I've helped create for my kids.

But I'm going through some kind of hormonal thing and I'm insanely horny lately and have also developed an intense crush on a man in my orbit. Again, no interest in actually doing anything about it. But think about it all. the. time.

Has anyone been through this? Did it pass eventually? I'm almost enjoying it because it's been so long since I had that feeling of serious crush with strong physical attraction/chemistry. But it's also stressful because I feel a little guilty about the thoughts I'm having, and also worried that it's written all over my face.

Please tell me your stories of managing a midlife crush while happily married! I'm sitting here trying to work and instead engaging in some very cheesy fantasies and trying not to blush.

As a single woman who has been approached by many married men in a similar situation, please stay away from me.

+1. I had no idea how many married men are happy to work out their issues with every behavior from casual flirting to outright propositions. Go home, guys. Get a divorce, or better yet, work on your marriage. We’re not interested. You scrape the surface with these guys and they’re complete disasters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In the same boat over here. I am in my early 30s, been with my partner for 10 years, married for 7. Happy with my relationship though there is some give and take. We have alot of similarities but also alot of differences which have cause some strain of the years. (Normal lows for a couple who have been together for a decade) a few weeks ago an older man struck up conversation with me in the laundromat. In conversation I did mention my husband, so he knows I am not "available". I learned that he was a massage therapist in town and being a very active trail runner and seeks therapeutic messages here and there, he goes me his card. A few days go by and I end up making an appointment. When he greets me at the appointment, I'm immediately attracted to him. I can't describe the feeling, I thought he was handsome when I met him but this was more like I want to walk right up and make out. This catches me off guard and he is definitely older than me. (Maybe in his mid to later 40s? Which is definitely an age for men I've been finding myself eyeballing as I get older myself) I can't relax once the message starts... im lusting over him right there on the table and haven't stopped since... ive had 2 sessions with another one in the books. This has me concerned too and like you, I am so distracted by the thought of him I feel like I can't get anything done.
Aside from wondering if these feelings are wrong being married, I know these are not healthy when building rapport with a message therapist. (I truly have benefited from the amazing body work he has done in only 2 sessions) I can't help fantasizing that he also feels this electric attraction and this will lead to something more. (Which I would never do, I find cheating wrong ontop of the ethics and integrity of his profession now that I'm a client) I don't even know too much about his personal life or even his sexual orientation for crying out loud! Sorry I have no advice and can only provide you comfort in knowing you are not alone!

A couple of years ago I twice went to a massage therapist who did not do anything inappropriate but I did have an O. He was using a heated massage oil and it just felt so good. After the second time I switched therapists and skipped the hot oil.