Marrying for money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I married for love. But I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place to be in a position to fall in love if he didn't have/make plenty of money.

FWIW, I make plenty of money myself as well. But I need that financial security to feel safe for many reasons.

You married for love AND money. And money was higher priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents are Harvard MBAs from the late 70s and both were very successful. I once asked my mom if what attracted her to dad was his potential she said, no he was really cute and fun. They’ve been very happily married 45 years.

That’s nice and all, but it is likely your mother had the privilege of choice- a female Harvard graduate in the 70s likely came from a stable, solvent home and wasn’t desperate to upgrade her lifestyle.

She DID upgrade her lifestyle. She went to a moneyville and fell in love there. It's an easy lie to yourself to say "I married money but I didn't marry for money".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So for the people who said they married for money, does that they didn’t marry for love? I didn’t “marry for money” though DH is well educated and reasonably successful. We met in college and, well, love each other a lot! We love hanging out together, get along great, support each other and make each other happy. The idea that some of you just want the money your spouse provides seems, uh, sad?

But if you saying you truly love your spouse and they happen to be loaded, then great. You win!

I married for love. But I never dated, let alone fell in love with, anyone who didn't have a significant amount of money. The money was necessary but not sufficient.

That's marrying for money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why most UMC parents care about sending their kids to an 'elite' college. The SES vetting is handled by admissions and there are higher chances for meeting and mating with the 'right'
kind of partner.

Watch out for URM and first gen admits!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people do that still? Just read the most fascinating Jackie Kennedy biography. I had no idea her mom masterminded her marrying JFK, and then even the Kennedies helped orchestrate her marriage to Onassis, purely for money, which set her up for life. Same with her sisters, both married for money.

Of course, they still do it, but it's less common now because women can make their own money, which is far better than relying on a man. Look at Jackie Kennedy and the sacrifices she made for money - JFK was a serial cheater, and Aristotle Onassis had a reputation for domestic violence and an ongoing public affair with Maria Callas.

It's not a sacrifice when your moneybag leaves you alone and dates someone else. You have the pool boy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people do that still? Just read the most fascinating Jackie Kennedy biography. I had no idea her mom masterminded her marrying JFK, and then even the Kennedies helped orchestrate her marriage to Onassis, purely for money, which set her up for life. Same with her sisters, both married for money.

Of course, they still do it, but it's less common now because women can make their own money, which is far better than relying on a man. Look at Jackie Kennedy and the sacrifices she made for money - JFK was a serial cheater, and Aristotle Onassis had a reputation for domestic violence and an ongoing public affair with Maria Callas.

It's not a sacrifice when your moneybag leaves you alone and dates someone else. You have the pool boy.

Jackie had miscarriages, a still-born child and 2 kids born premature, which she attributed to Chlamydia. She was publicly humiliated by both her husband’s affairs. People speculate Onassis hit her and left bruises. Not worth the price, especially in the 2020s when women can make their own fortune.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people do that still? Just read the most fascinating Jackie Kennedy biography. I had no idea her mom masterminded her marrying JFK, and then even the Kennedies helped orchestrate her marriage to Onassis, purely for money, which set her up for life. Same with her sisters, both married for money.

Janet married her beautiful and smart 23 yr old daughter off to a 35 year old womanizer who was obsessed with success and ambition. It wasn't a happy or successful marriage so she did Jackie no favor.

[Anonymous]

My advice to my son: if you are dumb enough to get married, make sure she earns at least as much as you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.

This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.

I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.

If you are "b" team, you meet your spouse in your 30s, the "a" team roster is already filled.

This is so inaccurate.

No, this is true. The market value of a woman declines after 30.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people do that still? Just read the most fascinating Jackie Kennedy biography. I had no idea her mom masterminded her marrying JFK, and then even the Kennedies helped orchestrate her marriage to Onassis, purely for money, which set her up for life. Same with her sisters, both married for money.

Janet married her beautiful and smart 23 yr old daughter off to a 35 year old womanizer who was obsessed with success and ambition. It wasn't a happy or successful marriage so she did Jackie no favor.

In the Kennedys' case, many people promoted the marriage, such as JFK's father. He knew that his son had to appear stable and settled to have a shot at the presidency. The father knew that Jacqueline didn't come from money but checked off many other boxes: educated but traditional, Catholic, spoke three Romance languages, the WASP Auchincloss connection.

As for Onassis, the settlement after his death made her one of the wealthiest women in the country. Of course it was worth it.

[Anonymous]

My parents have been in a bad marriage ever since l can remember, almost 50 years. About the only nice thing my mom has to say about my dad is that he’s a good provider.

No thanks. I make my own money. And l’m grateful l can now, unlike past generations of women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Years ago before I finished my JD, I worked as a legal assistant to a seasoned attorney who did big money and often high conflict divorces.

I once said to him after drafting yet another settlement agreement that I should’ve married for money.

He replied that if you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny the hardest way possible.

As it turns out I never married at all - yet, anyway, and I’m now 53. I spent a number of years doing family law and a number doing criminal law and decades observing marriages up close.

I the majority of cases love doesn’t last and money comes the very hardest way.

Family and criminal lawyer? Your job has jaded you.

I was well jaded about marriage before I ever went to college, having observed many marriages up close in my youth - those of family, people I babysat for, people I housecleaned for, people I delivered newspapers to, etc. It's always fun to hear retired couples screaming at each other and having to knock on the door and ask for the subscription fees.

I knew long before I practiced family law that the large majority of marriages were miserable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why most UMC parents care about sending their kids to an 'elite' college. The SES vetting is handled by admissions and there are higher chances for meeting and mating with the 'right'
kind of partner.

Watch out for URM and first gen admits!

That's where eating clubs and societies come. The school does some of the filtering, the students take care of the rest

[Anonymous]

I’m fairly wealthy (NW greater than $14M) and the women I date never know how much money I have as far as I know in the beginning. I live a relatively modest life but do travel and vacation well but no one would know. I think eventually they figure it out but by then it doesn’t really matter.