Marrying for money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.

This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.

I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.

I can only think of one couple I know that met in their 30s. Certainly many got married in 30s, but they were together since 20s.

I don’t know any of those.

Most of my friends (including me) met their SO in their 20s.

Well, I know mostly very career-focused people. I met them all in DC after college. I don't have college friends. I was working too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago before I finished my JD, I worked as a legal assistant to a seasoned attorney who did big money and often high conflict divorces.

I once said to him after drafting yet another settlement agreement that I should’ve married for money.

He replied that if you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny the hardest way possible.

As it turns out I never married at all - yet, anyway, and I’m now 53. I spent a number of years doing family law and a number doing criminal law and decades observing marriages up close.

I the majority of cases love doesn’t last and money comes the very hardest way.

I just posted the same without reading your post. Many older women I met have said that marry for money costs you a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents are Harvard MBAs from the late 70s and both were very successful. I once asked my mom if what attracted her to dad was his potential she said, no he was really cute and fun. They’ve been very happily married 45 years.

That’s nice and all, but it is likely your mother had the privilege of choice- a female Harvard graduate in the 70s likely came from a stable, solvent home and wasn’t desperate to upgrade her lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Years ago before I finished my JD, I worked as a legal assistant to a seasoned attorney who did big money and often high conflict divorces.

I once said to him after drafting yet another settlement agreement that I should’ve married for money.

He replied that if you marry for money, you’ll earn every penny the hardest way possible.

As it turns out I never married at all - yet, anyway, and I’m now 53. I spent a number of years doing family law and a number doing criminal law and decades observing marriages up close.

I the majority of cases love doesn’t last and money comes the very hardest way.

Family and criminal lawyer? Your job has jaded you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.

This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.

I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.

I can only think of one couple I know that met in their 30s. Certainly many got married in 30s, but they were together since 20s.

Same. Almost 80% met in 20's.

[Anonymous]

There is a reason why so many people have miserable marriages, affairs and ugly divorces, often worse if its a second or third marriage.

[Anonymous]

I married for love. But I wouldn't have gone out with him in the first place to be in a position to fall in love if he didn't have/make plenty of money.

FWIW, I make plenty of money myself as well. But I need that financial security to feel safe for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people marry for money? Are you serious?

90% of the reason a woman marries a man is for money. Let's not fake it. It's the truth. How many attractive women do you see with UGLY men? How many attractive women do you see with UGLY men who are rich?

A man will marry a beautiful kind women who works at McDonald's. A women would NEVER marry a handsome kind man who works at McDonald's.

I married a handsome man who was a bartender.

Oh my gosh. I'm sorry,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.

In 2024, educated women do not get married "at 25." Nor do men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.

This. Most people are meeting their spouses in their 20s. They aren't rich yet. They may be in law school or med school, junior bankers, etc. and have potential. But plenty of junior biglaw associates never make the big bucks as partner.

I am mid 40s. Most people I know met their spouses in their 30s. NOT their 20s.

If you are "b" team, you meet your spouse in your 30s, the "a" team roster is already filled.

This is so inaccurate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So for the people who said they married for money, does that they didn’t marry for love? I didn’t “marry for money” though DH is well educated and reasonably successful. We met in college and, well, love each other a lot! We love hanging out together, get along great, support each other and make each other happy. The idea that some of you just want the money your spouse provides seems, uh, sad?

But if you saying you truly love your spouse and they happen to be loaded, then great. You win!

I married for love. But I never dated, let alone fell in love with, anyone who didn't have a significant amount of money. The money was necessary but not sufficient.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 25 few people are wealthy unless born into it. You marry someone for many reasons including the potential to have a good career. We have plenty of wealthy friends and none of them were born into it. At the same time plenty of people never achieve their potential.

In 2024, educated women do not get married "at 25." Nor do men.

Depends on finances, religion and culture. Many marry early and attend law/medical/dental/grad schools together, specially if not much debt is involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents are Harvard MBAs from the late 70s and both were very successful. I once asked my mom if what attracted her to dad was his potential she said, no he was really cute and fun. They’ve been very happily married 45 years.

That’s nice and all, but it is likely your mother had the privilege of choice- a female Harvard graduate in the 70s likely came from a stable, solvent home and wasn’t desperate to upgrade her lifestyle.

NP. Not only that, but a female Harvard MBA student in the 1970s had her choice among her cohort of male students, at least those not yet married. All of them were bound to be successful, so she had the luxury of having "cute" and "fun" as additional criteria. Well done, regardless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents are Harvard MBAs from the late 70s and both were very successful. I once asked my mom if what attracted her to dad was his potential she said, no he was really cute and fun. They’ve been very happily married 45 years.

That’s nice and all, but it is likely your mother had the privilege of choice- a female Harvard graduate in the 70s likely came from a stable, solvent home and wasn’t desperate to upgrade her lifestyle.

NP. Not only that, but a female Harvard MBA student in the 1970s had her choice among her cohort of male students, at least those not yet married. All of them were bound to be successful, so she had the luxury of having "cute" and "fun" as additional criteria. Well done, regardless.

Do you really think she'd have her choice though? I'd actually think that most of the men were not looking for a fellow MBA spouse with that kind of ambition in the 70s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my parents are Harvard MBAs from the late 70s and both were very successful. I once asked my mom if what attracted her to dad was his potential she said, no he was really cute and fun. They’ve been very happily married 45 years.

That’s nice and all, but it is likely your mother had the privilege of choice- a female Harvard graduate in the 70s likely came from a stable, solvent home and wasn’t desperate to upgrade her lifestyle.

NP. Not only that, but a female Harvard MBA student in the 1970s had her choice among her cohort of male students, at least those not yet married. All of them were bound to be successful, so she had the luxury of having "cute" and "fun" as additional criteria. Well done, regardless.

Do you really think she'd have her choice though? I'd actually think that most of the men were not looking for a fellow MBA spouse with that kind of ambition in the 70s.

NP. yes, I think she had her choice. this was before online dating. she was there, around them, in their classes. my ok looking cousin went to business school in the 90s and it was the best dating scene of her life.

so saying "my mom didn't marry for money!" i mean...she married a Harvard MBA. Pretty clear the guy was gonna be at least somewhat successful.