Marrying for money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal story: Several friends married for love, looks, friendship, wealth or potential, results were really mixed. Almost all marriages based on wealth failed or didn't inherit much. Some materialized their potential, others didn't, some stayed in love, others didn't. Looks didn't help with fights and eventually faded. Every single marriage based on friendship and attraction, survived and strengthened. Most relationships started in early 20's, friends built happy families and good careers together, now aging together and enjoying empty nesting.

Lesson: Marry people you love and respect and can live within peace as money, looks and success doesn't have as much value for making life happier compared to a good bond and good character.

Everything changes but kindness, conciseness, emotional intelligence remain.

+100 Great insight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal story: Several friends married for love, looks, friendship, wealth or potential, results were really mixed. Almost all marriages based on wealth failed or didn't inherit much. Some materialized their potential, others didn't, some stayed in love, others didn't. Looks didn't help with fights and eventually faded. Every single marriage based on friendship and attraction, survived and strengthened. Most relationships started in early 20's, friends built happy families and good careers together, now aging together and enjoying empty nesting.

Lesson: Marry people you love and respect and can live within peace as money, looks and success doesn't have as much value for making life happier compared to a good bond and good character.

Everything changes but kindness, conciseness, emotional intelligence remain.

+100 Great insight.

If it was that easier all women would have married ugly but nice men and will be happy. But looks and sexual attraction DO matter! I wouldnt be able to perform my spousal duties if I wasn't into him sexually and if he was just a good friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal story: Several friends married for love, looks, friendship, wealth or potential, results were really mixed. Almost all marriages based on wealth failed or didn't inherit much. Some materialized their potential, others didn't, some stayed in love, others didn't. Looks didn't help with fights and eventually faded. Every single marriage based on friendship and attraction, survived and strengthened. Most relationships started in early 20's, friends built happy families and good careers together, now aging together and enjoying empty nesting.

Lesson: Marry people you love and respect and can live within peace as money, looks and success doesn't have as much value for making life happier compared to a good bond and good character.

Everything changes but kindness, conciseness, emotional intelligence remain.

+100 Great insight.

If it was that easier all women would have married ugly but nice men and will be happy. But looks and sexual attraction DO matter! I wouldnt be able to perform my spousal duties if I wasn't into him sexually and if he was just a good friend

I am the PP you quoted. My husband is smoking hot, at 58 looks the same as at 39 (he is a dermatologist), including muscular body and a full head of thick brown hair. Yet I am not into him at all anymore, because he lacks emotional intelligence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't marry for money but definitely encouraging my DD to consider it when getting hitched.

As in actually saying "marry rich"?

Just as easy to call in love with a rich guy as a poor one.
To me, it just makes sense that the advice wouldn’t be “marry a rich guy you can’t stand!” I mean obviously you want to find someone you like and appreciate and have some common interests with. But you do have some control over where to hang out and with whom you associate that will increase your chances of meeting and falling in love with a guy who either has money or plans to work hard to acquire it. You can find a rich or poor guy anywhere but there are places to look that decrease the chances that a guy who is there will be poor
So the advice could be “dont spend your time looking on tiktok or a pool hall…..instead, take up golf and join a country club.”

[Anonymous]

You all are so depressing to marry for money and know it - Jesus

[Anonymous]

Marry for money and you will pay for every penny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal story: Several friends married for love, looks, friendship, wealth or potential, results were really mixed. Almost all marriages based on wealth failed or didn't inherit much. Some materialized their potential, others didn't, some stayed in love, others didn't. Looks didn't help with fights and eventually faded. Every single marriage based on friendship and attraction, survived and strengthened. Most relationships started in early 20's, friends built happy families and good careers together, now aging together and enjoying empty nesting.

Lesson: Marry people you love and respect and can live within peace as money, looks and success doesn't have as much value for making life happier compared to a good bond and good character.

Everything changes but kindness, conciseness, emotional intelligence remain.

+100 Great insight.

If it was that easier all women would have married ugly but nice men and will be happy. But looks and sexual attraction DO matter! I wouldnt be able to perform my spousal duties if I wasn't into him sexually and if he was just a good friend

I am the PP you quoted. My husband is smoking hot, at 58 looks the same as at 39 (he is a dermatologist), including muscular body and a full head of thick brown hair. Yet I am not into him at all anymore, because he lacks emotional intelligence.

The marry a friend thing is tough. Friendship means something different in your 20s than 40s. In my 20s having similar politics and liking the same foods was enough. In my 40s I need someone who feels like a safe space to come home to. Intellectual conversation, similar industry, I can go out and intellectualize with strangers or coworkers. Someone who will give me a hug at the end of the day and take care of me if I'm sick, and also share responsibilities and some daily activities, that's what I want now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal story: Several friends married for love, looks, friendship, wealth or potential, results were really mixed. Almost all marriages based on wealth failed or didn't inherit much. Some materialized their potential, others didn't, some stayed in love, others didn't. Looks didn't help with fights and eventually faded. Every single marriage based on friendship and attraction, survived and strengthened. Most relationships started in early 20's, friends built happy families and good careers together, now aging together and enjoying empty nesting.

Lesson: Marry people you love and respect and can live within peace as money, looks and success doesn't have as much value for making life happier compared to a good bond and good character.

Everything changes but kindness, conciseness, emotional intelligence remain.

+100 Great insight.

If it was that easier all women would have married ugly but nice men and will be happy. But looks and sexual attraction DO matter! I wouldnt be able to perform my spousal duties if I wasn't into him sexually and if he was just a good friend

Alrewdy calling it spousal “duties”? Your poor DH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Marry for money and you earn every last cent the hard way!

Truth. The correct answer: never marry for money; hang out with rich people and marry for love.

[Anonymous]

No, wish I did. Marriage is a long game and attraction, both sexual and romantic, fades. Need for money and financial stability does not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why most UMC parents care about sending their kids to an 'elite' college. The SES vetting is handled by admissions and there are higher chances for meeting and mating with the 'right'
kind of partner.

Watch out for URM and first gen admits!

That's where eating clubs and societies come. The school does some of the filtering, the students take care of the rest

+100000
Eating clubs, secret societies, final clubs. Having spent my entire twenties at the campuses of HYP I never witnessed a relationship across SES that lasted. Cultural, yes, but not SES.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal story: Several friends married for love, looks, friendship, wealth or potential, results were really mixed. Almost all marriages based on wealth failed or didn't inherit much. Some materialized their potential, others didn't, some stayed in love, others didn't. Looks didn't help with fights and eventually faded. Every single marriage based on friendship and attraction, survived and strengthened. Most relationships started in early 20's, friends built happy families and good careers together, now aging together and enjoying empty nesting.

Lesson: Marry people you love and respect and can live within peace as money, looks and success doesn't have as much value for making life happier compared to a good bond and good character.

Everything changes but kindness, conciseness, emotional intelligence remain.

+100 Great insight.

If it was that easier all women would have married ugly but nice men and will be happy. But looks and sexual attraction DO matter! I wouldnt be able to perform my spousal duties if I wasn't into him sexually and if he was just a good friend

No one asking you to marry an ugly loser. Just don't base your decision on looks and money, unless some is kind, moral and helpful, they won't make a good life partner.