If you wanted to legally and safely annoy an apartment neighbor,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like them? Are you prejudiced? Did they wrong you somehow? If they’re not doing these kind of things to you, why can’t you get along? Perhaps you’re not cut out for living with a shared wall.

They don't like me, and it is rooted in prejudice. They say nasty things about me to all our neighbors and never speak to me and glare at me whenever I see them. It makes me uncomfortable but there is nothing they have technically done to me. But I'd like to make it unpleasant for them to live there until they move. There are several reasons why they probably don't like living here, I'd just like to help them along and hopefully get a neighbor there who is less hostile towards me. They make me uneasy.

I’d do the reverse and be overly kind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I should add that I’m also single. A lot of these men think they can bully single women. It’s not unusual.

[PP]

Thank you for believing me. Yes, I think the part that annoys this guy is that I'm single and childless and have the gall to go on living, even owning an apartment next to him and having a job and appearing to enjoy my life, when obviously I should be jumping on an ice floe and dying at sea.

Yep! I’m single, childfree….and Black. My AH neighbor thought he could bully me. He would do was small, annoying, and unneighborly things. I fought fire with fire because he didn’t respond to civility.

I totally understand OP.

[PP]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like them? Are you prejudiced? Did they wrong you somehow? If they’re not doing these kind of things to you, why can’t you get along? Perhaps you’re not cut out for living with a shared wall.

They don't like me, and it is rooted in prejudice. They say nasty things about me to all our neighbors and never speak to me and glare at me whenever I see them. It makes me uncomfortable but there is nothing they have technically done to me. But I'd like to make it unpleasant for them to live there until they move. There are several reasons why they probably don't like living here, I'd just like to help them along and hopefully get a neighbor there who is less hostile towards me. They make me uneasy.

So now you want to give them justifiable reasons not to like you? OP you don’t sound particularly bright.

I think OP sounds mentally ill.

I think OP is a man who is angry that an older, female, unattractive to him, neighbor is living her life not in awe of an aspect of his lifestyle or his existence.

OP here and the reality is more the opposite. I am a singe, middle-aged professional woman and my neighbors are a younger couple with very "traditional" values, and the husband in particular has taken to making very disparaging comments about me to other neighbors. Multiple people have told me that he has brought me up in conversations with them totally unprompted and then made comments about my age and that I'm single. He's asked several people if I'm divorced or if my husband died, and he says critical things about my appearance, including that I have gray hair and do not dress in a way he approves of (I dress in comfortable professional clothes, think Eileen Fisher, and he calls me "dowdy" and "witchy" to others). He is consistently rude to my face, interrupts conversations I'm in with other neighbors to speak to them without acknowledging me, getting irritated by minor things like a package of mine being placed in front of their door by mistake (something I didn't even do). I used to try to be friendly, smile, etc. Even dropped off some baked goods the week they moved in and introduced myself. I don't do that stuff anymore.

Several neighbors (who also cannot stand him) have let me know about the things he's saying, because he clearly absolutely hates me and the intensity of his hatred makes them uncomfortable.

I have lived here for 15 years and am close to paying off my mortgage. I do not intend to sell until I retire in a few years, and I'm not going to sell now during a bad condo market just to get away from this guy. But if he's going to hate me and be hostile anyway, I wouldn't mind annoying him and maybe accelerating the process of them moving (they complain about everything in the building and have alienated pretty much all our neighbors, including the condo board who are completely fed up, so I don't think they'll be here longterm anyway).

So in your eternal wisdom you think starting a petty annoyance with him will solve your problem? You must be as crazy as he is.

[Anonymous]

I get the desire OP, I do. In my early 20s I lived in this amazing apartment in the city. Unfortunately my neighbor was AWFUL. For 4 months he made me feel so uncomfortable. It ramped up to feeling unsafe and neither my roomate nor I would come and go from the apt without her boyfriend or another male going with us. Cops were called by both sides but it was a he said /she said situation. . Eventually it ramped up so much he chased me down the stairs and threatened to kill me
Restraining order was set and his parents (who owned the condo) moved him out. So I totally get the desire to make him want to move. The reality is you will only enrage him further and he will retaliate right back. It's not worth it.

[Anonymous]

The guy sounds like a jerk but it doesn't sound like he's being threatening or anything. Just a jerk. Why risk angering him and him upping his behavior? Just ignore him when hes rude or interrupts your conversations. So he thinks you are ugly. Who cares?

[Anonymous]

90% of what you describe can be dealt with by an eyeroll and ignoring him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe that there is a building in the DMV area where all neighbors interact so much.

OP here and I'm not in the DMV. Midwest.

Well why are you on a DC-based parenting board?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like them? Are you prejudiced? Did they wrong you somehow? If they’re not doing these kind of things to you, why can’t you get along? Perhaps you’re not cut out for living with a shared wall.

They don't like me, and it is rooted in prejudice. They say nasty things about me to all our neighbors and never speak to me and glare at me whenever I see them. It makes me uncomfortable but there is nothing they have technically done to me. But I'd like to make it unpleasant for them to live there until they move. There are several reasons why they probably don't like living here, I'd just like to help them along and hopefully get a neighbor there who is less hostile towards me. They make me uneasy.

So now you want to give them justifiable reasons not to like you? OP you don’t sound particularly bright.

I think OP sounds mentally ill.

I think OP is a man who is angry that an older, female, unattractive to him, neighbor is living her life not in awe of an aspect of his lifestyle or his existence.

OP here and the reality is more the opposite. I am a singe, middle-aged professional woman and my neighbors are a younger couple with very "traditional" values, and the husband in particular has taken to making very disparaging comments about me to other neighbors. Multiple people have told me that he has brought me up in conversations with them totally unprompted and then made comments about my age and that I'm single. He's asked several people if I'm divorced or if my husband died, and he says critical things about my appearance, including that I have gray hair and do not dress in a way he approves of (I dress in comfortable professional clothes, think Eileen Fisher, and he calls me "dowdy" and "witchy" to others). He is consistently rude to my face, interrupts conversations I'm in with other neighbors to speak to them without acknowledging me, getting irritated by minor things like a package of mine being placed in front of their door by mistake (something I didn't even do). I used to try to be friendly, smile, etc. Even dropped off some baked goods the week they moved in and introduced myself. I don't do that stuff anymore.

Several neighbors (who also cannot stand him) have let me know about the things he's saying, because he clearly absolutely hates me and the intensity of his hatred makes them uncomfortable.

I have lived here for 15 years and am close to paying off my mortgage. I do not intend to sell until I retire in a few years, and I'm not going to sell now during a bad condo market just to get away from this guy. But if he's going to hate me and be hostile anyway, I wouldn't mind annoying him and maybe accelerating the process of them moving (they complain about everything in the building and have alienated pretty much all our neighbors, including the condo board who are completely fed up, so I don't think they'll be here longterm anyway).

I don't buy this. I'm a middle-aged woman myself, so I can't imagine having the desire or patience to harass neighbors, even those I don't like or who I may feel have "wronged" me one way or another. Women are just too busy keeping the world running for that $h!t. Your mileage may vary somewhat in that you only have yourself to take care of, but still, I can't imagine a woman our age indulging in such pettiness.

You mentioned a down condo market yourself. How do you not understand that selling under unfavorable terms could have serious financial consequences for a young couple just starting out.

You still sound childish if not downright unhinged to me.

+1
We middle aged women do not think like this.

Agree. She sounds like she's building a case in her mind against the neighbors. Who think of harassing the neighbors into moving, unless there's something fairly broken in their brains.

[Anonymous]

Get ready for them to give it back to you tenfold

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I should add that I’m also single. A lot of these men think they can bully single women. It’s not unusual.

[PP]

Thank you for believing me. Yes, I think the part that annoys this guy is that I'm single and childless and have the gall to go on living, even owning an apartment next to him and having a job and appearing to enjoy my life, when obviously I should be jumping on an ice floe and dying at sea.

Yep! I’m single, childfree….and Black. My AH neighbor thought he could bully me. He would do was small, annoying, and unneighborly things. I fought fire with fire because he didn’t respond to civility.

I totally understand OP.

[PP]

You go! I would love to hear what you did to get him to back off!

[Anonymous]

If you start chit you will get chit back ten fold.

[Anonymous]

Have sex really loudly ever night. Start at like 5pm end around 3am.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe that there is a building in the DMV area where all neighbors interact so much.

OP here and I'm not in the DMV. Midwest.

Well why are you on a DC-based parenting board?

Again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I should add that I’m also single. A lot of these men think they can bully single women. It’s not unusual.

[PP]

Thank you for believing me. Yes, I think the part that annoys this guy is that I'm single and childless and have the gall to go on living, even owning an apartment next to him and having a job and appearing to enjoy my life, when obviously I should be jumping on an ice floe and dying at sea.

Yep! I’m single, childfree….and Black. My AH neighbor thought he could bully me. He would do was small, annoying, and unneighborly things. I fought fire with fire because he didn’t respond to civility.

I totally understand OP.

[PP]

You go! I would love to hear what you did to get him to back off!

He never wanted to sully his own back yard with his big trash and recycling bins, so he’d put them on the edge of my property. (We’re next door neighbors.) I took his bins and moved them far away from both of our townhouses, so he’d have to find them…or pay for new ones.

Kinda petty, I know, but sometimes a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. 😆😆

This is just one example from over the years. He’s entitled and beyond reason.

[PP]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ I should add that I’m also single. A lot of these men think they can bully single women. It’s not unusual.

[PP]

Thank you for believing me. Yes, I think the part that annoys this guy is that I'm single and childless and have the gall to go on living, even owning an apartment next to him and having a job and appearing to enjoy my life, when obviously I should be jumping on an ice floe and dying at sea.

Yep! I’m single, childfree….and Black. My AH neighbor thought he could bully me. He would do was small, annoying, and unneighborly things. I fought fire with fire because he didn’t respond to civility.

I totally understand OP.

[PP]

Yes, to all this. Some people do not respond to civility -- they view it as an opportunity to walk all over you. And if they view you as being lower status or vulnerable, it's even worse, because their assumption is that no one will defend you or help you because of your social status.

That's why you HAVE to stand up to people like this and demonstrate that you don't need someone to come to your defense or lend you their status. They are bullies and you have to push back. Nine times out of ten it's all bluster anyway, and if you show them that you won't just roll over, they back down because they only singled you out because they thought you were an easy mark.