If you wanted to legally and safely annoy an apartment neighbor,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I lived in an apartment, a nasty family complained about my dog (it was a dog friendly building) and was rude to my kind, elderly neighbor.

Let’s just say I shifted my vacuuming schedule around their baby’s naptime and there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it.

I support this.

When it comes to communal living, there's that old adage: f**k around and find out. If you're a jerk to others, don't be surprised when they dish it right back.

The best part was, they had like three kids in a 1BR. I came so close to reporting them to the building but couldn’t be that much of a jerk. They had a lot of nerve being so nasty though…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

You've really got some main character syndrome going on here, dear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always be in the hallway.

So I want to avoid direct interaction, but are there things someone might reasonably keep by their front door that would annoy you to see all the time? Assume this is a person you absolutely hate (my neighbor hates me, for reasons that are extremely offensive, so I'm just looking to aggravate him passively enough that he leaves).

Instead of being a passive victim, you can take control and move yourself. Or change your mindset to not let this person bother you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

You've really got some main character syndrome going on here, dear.

Eh, I never said I was without fault, I just said that the OP shouldn’t antagonize her neighbors. Its immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

You've really got some main character syndrome going on here, dear.

Eh, I never said I was without fault, I just said that the OP shouldn’t antagonize her neighbors. Its immature.

You don't understand what main character syndrome is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like them? Are you prejudiced? Did they wrong you somehow? If they’re not doing these kind of things to you, why can’t you get along? Perhaps you’re not cut out for living with a shared wall.

They don't like me, and it is rooted in prejudice. They say nasty things about me to all our neighbors and never speak to me and glare at me whenever I see them. It makes me uncomfortable but there is nothing they have technically done to me. But I'd like to make it unpleasant for them to live there until they move. There are several reasons why they probably don't like living here, I'd just like to help them along and hopefully get a neighbor there who is less hostile towards me. They make me uneasy.

Sounds to me like they know who they are dealing with. You are a devious and vindictive person. They probably should be wary of you and warn their neighbors.

Comments like this are bonkers. You don't know any of the people involved! Probably you are projecting your own experiences with neighbors in the past onto this thread and drawing silly conclusions.

What? The op was literally asking for tips on how to be a jerk in a sneaky way with the explicit goal to force their neighbor to move. There is never a justifiable reason to act in such a way. I think it is reasonable to conclude that this childish attitude is also apparent to her own neighbor.

But she wants the neighbor to move because he is badmouthing her around the building and treats her poorly. That's actually a pretty reasonable reason to want someone to move away, especially if you've lived there a longtime. And OP specified "legal and safe." So she's not trying to harass the neighbors, just make them think "you know what, this is not the place for us."

I don't see why OP should have to put up with neighbors who treat her badly and try to ruin her reputation in the building. Their behavior sounds really nuts. I do think OP is justified in wanting to annoy them out of the building if she can find a way to do it carefully so it doesn't result in blowback on her.

Wanting someone to move is reasonable. Purposefully plotting to annoy them is not. Annoying a neighbor intentionally with the goal of making them move away is clearly harassment. Trying to manipulate people without facing any “blowback” is antisocial behavior. I am amazed (but probably shouldn’t be) that so many nasty and manipulative people there are!

Eh, it's more complicated than that.

Say you were Indian American, and you had a neighbor who hated you because of a racial prejudice (just assume for the sake of the hypothetical, you know for sure that they hate you for your race/ethnicity). In this situation, I would cook delicious curries three days a week, throw a big Diwali party, decorate my doors and windows with some traditional Indian decor (assuming compliance with building rules), listen to Indian pop music and watch Bollywood music (not too loudly, but I might tick the volume up one smidge louder than I normally would). Is this harassment? Or is it living my life in a way that is going to annoy the racist in unit 4C, in the hopes that he moves the heck out? I think the latter.

Another one. Say you have kids, and then someone moves in downstairs how HATES kids. You've lived in the building since before your kids were born, but suddenly the new neighbor is constantly complaining that the building should rip out the play area in the complex and put in a dog run instead, that kids should be banned from the community pool after 4pm, and complains any time your kids speak above a whisper or make any noise at all in common areas. In this situation, knowing that I'm protected by federal law that makes it illegal to discriminate in housing based on family status, I think my kids would suddenly get really into gymnastics, and I'd be enrolling them in piano AND drum lessons. And tap, I think my kids now do tap. Is that harassment? I don't think it is.

That's the situation here. The neighbor has a prejudice against single women over a certain age. He's made disparaging comments about her to neighbors. He's hostile. The way I'd handle it would be to live my single, professional lady life to the hilt. Dinner parties every weekend, I'm playing Chaka Khan and popping champagne for myself on a Tuesday night because I can, leaning in hard on the fact that as a single woman of a certain age, I have the means and freedom to do what I want. Will your building let you paint your door? Paint it hot pink and hang a leopard print door knocker. If not, I'd invest in a rotating series of loud, obnoxious door wreaths (neon rainbow for Pride month, bright pink Eiffel towers for the Paris Olympics -- Etsy is your friend here). Is this harassment? No! It is leaning in hard on an identity that is annoying a small-minded, controlling little ahole who doesn't know how to live in close quarters with a wide variety of people. Too bad for him, that's what it means to live in a condo. I'd lean in.

None of this is harassment. It's a little petty, but I would take petty over a prejudiced jerk any day. I'd have fun with it. What I would not do is accept that my craptastic neighbor gets to run around the building saying nasty things about me even if I've never been anything but friendly and polity, and ruin my enjoyment of my home. No way. You want to live in a condo building, you're going to have to deal with your neighbors and learn to live and let live. This guy 100% needs to learn that lesson.

Wow. You should take your own advice and learn how to live and let live. It is not your job to teach any grown adult a lesson. It wouldn’t work either way. Nobody in history has ever developed less hostile feelings towards a neighbor that is actively harassing them. Like it or not but you can’t control what other people say about you. Psycho drama.

It is if it's a lesson they should have learned as a child but didn't. It takes a village, as they say.

Nope. You don’t get to enforce the morality of a stranger. You would have loved to have been in Salem circa 1692! What a horrible way to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

You've really got some main character syndrome going on here, dear.

Eh, I never said I was without fault, I just said that the OP shouldn’t antagonize her neighbors. Its immature.

You don't understand what main character syndrome is.

Why don’t you take center stage and tell us how shes got msin character syndrome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like them? Are you prejudiced? Did they wrong you somehow? If they’re not doing these kind of things to you, why can’t you get along? Perhaps you’re not cut out for living with a shared wall.

They don't like me, and it is rooted in prejudice. They say nasty things about me to all our neighbors and never speak to me and glare at me whenever I see them. It makes me uncomfortable but there is nothing they have technically done to me. But I'd like to make it unpleasant for them to live there until they move. There are several reasons why they probably don't like living here, I'd just like to help them along and hopefully get a neighbor there who is less hostile towards me. They make me uneasy.

Sounds to me like they know who they are dealing with. You are a devious and vindictive person. They probably should be wary of you and warn their neighbors.

Comments like this are bonkers. You don't know any of the people involved! Probably you are projecting your own experiences with neighbors in the past onto this thread and drawing silly conclusions.

What? The op was literally asking for tips on how to be a jerk in a sneaky way with the explicit goal to force their neighbor to move. There is never a justifiable reason to act in such a way. I think it is reasonable to conclude that this childish attitude is also apparent to her own neighbor.

But she wants the neighbor to move because he is badmouthing her around the building and treats her poorly. That's actually a pretty reasonable reason to want someone to move away, especially if you've lived there a longtime. And OP specified "legal and safe." So she's not trying to harass the neighbors, just make them think "you know what, this is not the place for us."

I don't see why OP should have to put up with neighbors who treat her badly and try to ruin her reputation in the building. Their behavior sounds really nuts. I do think OP is justified in wanting to annoy them out of the building if she can find a way to do it carefully so it doesn't result in blowback on her.

Wanting someone to move is reasonable. Purposefully plotting to annoy them is not. Annoying a neighbor intentionally with the goal of making them move away is clearly harassment. Trying to manipulate people without facing any “blowback” is antisocial behavior. I am amazed (but probably shouldn’t be) that so many nasty and manipulative people there are!

Eh, it's more complicated than that.

Say you were Indian American, and you had a neighbor who hated you because of a racial prejudice (just assume for the sake of the hypothetical, you know for sure that they hate you for your race/ethnicity). In this situation, I would cook delicious curries three days a week, throw a big Diwali party, decorate my doors and windows with some traditional Indian decor (assuming compliance with building rules), listen to Indian pop music and watch Bollywood music (not too loudly, but I might tick the volume up one smidge louder than I normally would). Is this harassment? Or is it living my life in a way that is going to annoy the racist in unit 4C, in the hopes that he moves the heck out? I think the latter.

Another one. Say you have kids, and then someone moves in downstairs how HATES kids. You've lived in the building since before your kids were born, but suddenly the new neighbor is constantly complaining that the building should rip out the play area in the complex and put in a dog run instead, that kids should be banned from the community pool after 4pm, and complains any time your kids speak above a whisper or make any noise at all in common areas. In this situation, knowing that I'm protected by federal law that makes it illegal to discriminate in housing based on family status, I think my kids would suddenly get really into gymnastics, and I'd be enrolling them in piano AND drum lessons. And tap, I think my kids now do tap. Is that harassment? I don't think it is.

That's the situation here. The neighbor has a prejudice against single women over a certain age. He's made disparaging comments about her to neighbors. He's hostile. The way I'd handle it would be to live my single, professional lady life to the hilt. Dinner parties every weekend, I'm playing Chaka Khan and popping champagne for myself on a Tuesday night because I can, leaning in hard on the fact that as a single woman of a certain age, I have the means and freedom to do what I want. Will your building let you paint your door? Paint it hot pink and hang a leopard print door knocker. If not, I'd invest in a rotating series of loud, obnoxious door wreaths (neon rainbow for Pride month, bright pink Eiffel towers for the Paris Olympics -- Etsy is your friend here). Is this harassment? No! It is leaning in hard on an identity that is annoying a small-minded, controlling little ahole who doesn't know how to live in close quarters with a wide variety of people. Too bad for him, that's what it means to live in a condo. I'd lean in.

None of this is harassment. It's a little petty, but I would take petty over a prejudiced jerk any day. I'd have fun with it. What I would not do is accept that my craptastic neighbor gets to run around the building saying nasty things about me even if I've never been anything but friendly and polity, and ruin my enjoyment of my home. No way. You want to live in a condo building, you're going to have to deal with your neighbors and learn to live and let live. This guy 100% needs to learn that lesson.

Wow. You should take your own advice and learn how to live and let live. It is not your job to teach any grown adult a lesson. It wouldn’t work either way. Nobody in history has ever developed less hostile feelings towards a neighbor that is actively harassing them. Like it or not but you can’t control what other people say about you. Psycho drama.

It is if it's a lesson they should have learned as a child but didn't. It takes a village, as they say.

Nope. You don’t get to enforce the morality of a stranger. You would have loved to have been in Salem circa 1692! What a horrible way to live.

It's not "enforcing morality." It's treating people in kind. If you don't want people doing stuff like this to you, don't be a jerk. It's very simple.

You are actually the one trying to enforce morality, by insisting that someone must ignore rude behavior in another person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

You've really got some main character syndrome going on here, dear.

Eh, I never said I was without fault, I just said that the OP shouldn’t antagonize her neighbors. Its immature.

You don't understand what main character syndrome is.

Why don’t you take center stage and tell us how shes got msin character syndrome.

I have no idea how she got it. But I know the height and race of her boyfriend, a number of details about her sex life, and about her relationship with her neighbor. I also know she has invented a complex drama around why this woman doesn't like her even though there is a very obvious reason why that the woman already explained to her -- PP has loud sex late at night and the neighbor can hear it and it annoys her.

PP thinks the whole world revolved around her, that everyone is jealous of her, etc. In reality, it sounds like she's a crappy neighbor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you like them? Are you prejudiced? Did they wrong you somehow? If they’re not doing these kind of things to you, why can’t you get along? Perhaps you’re not cut out for living with a shared wall.

They don't like me, and it is rooted in prejudice. They say nasty things about me to all our neighbors and never speak to me and glare at me whenever I see them. It makes me uncomfortable but there is nothing they have technically done to me. But I'd like to make it unpleasant for them to live there until they move. There are several reasons why they probably don't like living here, I'd just like to help them along and hopefully get a neighbor there who is less hostile towards me. They make me uneasy.

Sounds to me like they know who they are dealing with. You are a devious and vindictive person. They probably should be wary of you and warn their neighbors.

Comments like this are bonkers. You don't know any of the people involved! Probably you are projecting your own experiences with neighbors in the past onto this thread and drawing silly conclusions.

What? The op was literally asking for tips on how to be a jerk in a sneaky way with the explicit goal to force their neighbor to move. There is never a justifiable reason to act in such a way. I think it is reasonable to conclude that this childish attitude is also apparent to her own neighbor.

But she wants the neighbor to move because he is badmouthing her around the building and treats her poorly. That's actually a pretty reasonable reason to want someone to move away, especially if you've lived there a longtime. And OP specified "legal and safe." So she's not trying to harass the neighbors, just make them think "you know what, this is not the place for us."

I don't see why OP should have to put up with neighbors who treat her badly and try to ruin her reputation in the building. Their behavior sounds really nuts. I do think OP is justified in wanting to annoy them out of the building if she can find a way to do it carefully so it doesn't result in blowback on her.

Wanting someone to move is reasonable. Purposefully plotting to annoy them is not. Annoying a neighbor intentionally with the goal of making them move away is clearly harassment. Trying to manipulate people without facing any “blowback” is antisocial behavior. I am amazed (but probably shouldn’t be) that so many nasty and manipulative people there are!

Eh, it's more complicated than that.

Say you were Indian American, and you had a neighbor who hated you because of a racial prejudice (just assume for the sake of the hypothetical, you know for sure that they hate you for your race/ethnicity). In this situation, I would cook delicious curries three days a week, throw a big Diwali party, decorate my doors and windows with some traditional Indian decor (assuming compliance with building rules), listen to Indian pop music and watch Bollywood music (not too loudly, but I might tick the volume up one smidge louder than I normally would). Is this harassment? Or is it living my life in a way that is going to annoy the racist in unit 4C, in the hopes that he moves the heck out? I think the latter.

Another one. Say you have kids, and then someone moves in downstairs how HATES kids. You've lived in the building since before your kids were born, but suddenly the new neighbor is constantly complaining that the building should rip out the play area in the complex and put in a dog run instead, that kids should be banned from the community pool after 4pm, and complains any time your kids speak above a whisper or make any noise at all in common areas. In this situation, knowing that I'm protected by federal law that makes it illegal to discriminate in housing based on family status, I think my kids would suddenly get really into gymnastics, and I'd be enrolling them in piano AND drum lessons. And tap, I think my kids now do tap. Is that harassment? I don't think it is.

That's the situation here. The neighbor has a prejudice against single women over a certain age. He's made disparaging comments about her to neighbors. He's hostile. The way I'd handle it would be to live my single, professional lady life to the hilt. Dinner parties every weekend, I'm playing Chaka Khan and popping champagne for myself on a Tuesday night because I can, leaning in hard on the fact that as a single woman of a certain age, I have the means and freedom to do what I want. Will your building let you paint your door? Paint it hot pink and hang a leopard print door knocker. If not, I'd invest in a rotating series of loud, obnoxious door wreaths (neon rainbow for Pride month, bright pink Eiffel towers for the Paris Olympics -- Etsy is your friend here). Is this harassment? No! It is leaning in hard on an identity that is annoying a small-minded, controlling little ahole who doesn't know how to live in close quarters with a wide variety of people. Too bad for him, that's what it means to live in a condo. I'd lean in.

None of this is harassment. It's a little petty, but I would take petty over a prejudiced jerk any day. I'd have fun with it. What I would not do is accept that my craptastic neighbor gets to run around the building saying nasty things about me even if I've never been anything but friendly and polity, and ruin my enjoyment of my home. No way. You want to live in a condo building, you're going to have to deal with your neighbors and learn to live and let live. This guy 100% needs to learn that lesson.

Wow. You should take your own advice and learn how to live and let live. It is not your job to teach any grown adult a lesson. It wouldn’t work either way. Nobody in history has ever developed less hostile feelings towards a neighbor that is actively harassing them. Like it or not but you can’t control what other people say about you. Psycho drama.

It is if it's a lesson they should have learned as a child but didn't. It takes a village, as they say.

Nope. You don’t get to enforce the morality of a stranger. You would have loved to have been in Salem circa 1692! What a horrible way to live.

It's not "enforcing morality." It's treating people in kind. If you don't want people doing stuff like this to you, don't be a jerk. It's very simple.

You are actually the one trying to enforce morality, by insisting that someone must ignore rude behavior in another person.

No way. Minding your own business is never enforcing anything on anyone. It’s called civility. If everyone just went around deciding who “deserves” to be harassed then we would end up like tribal Afghanistan with centuries old family disputes. It would never end. This is so obvious that I truly cannot fathom the thought process. We have laws to settle our disputes. Passive aggressive harassment with the goal of harming others is never appropriate. Didn’t you guys learn that in kindergarten?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think we do know for sure that the neighbor is badmouthing OP. We've only heard that from her, and what if she is just paranoid or otherwise cognitively compromised? People like to declare that they "know for a fact" on little to no actual, firm evidence.

DCUM is not the place for "firm evidence." This isn't court. You can either accept an OP's premise or not, but there's zero point in trying to sleuth out "the truth" of a situation if you are skeptical. You won't get it. The neighbor isn't on here and even if he was, he'd almost certainly massage the facts in his favor too.

If you want to weigh in on what she should do, you pretty much have to take what she's offered you here at face value, which is that her neighbor dislikes her personally even though she has not, to her knowledge, done anything to them. And that her neighbor has repeatedly disparaged her to others in the building to the point where they have alerted her to it, and that these comments have included criticism of her being a single, middle-aged, professional woman.

That is the premise. Take it or leave it. I personally believe it because I've encountered people like this before and while I'm married and have a kid, I'm middle aged and have specifically encountered men who took an instant dislike to me because they just had some kind of issue with middle-aged women (mommy issues, probably). I wouldn't want to live next to one either.

Wow. Every decision in life should be made according to the evidence. I hate this post-truth mentality.

There is a (probably) crazy person who proposes to cause a young couple in her building (who may or may not be actual jerks... we don't know because OP may actually be the one with the odd fixation) a lot of trouble and possibly cost them a lot of money if they move because they can't take her harassment anymore. So many of you are giving her the harassment tips she is seeking instead of reminding her that mature adults don't harass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why do this? we dont need more bad karma around. really.

+1 hard to believe how some people think, behave, and retaliate

In my instance, I never retaliated, complained, etc. I actively tried to make the situation better by rearranging my bedroom and trying to be more quiet. I just feel like she didn’t like me or the guy I was dating (possibly because of his race) and for some reason was just focused on me.

Is there a chance that she was jealous of you? You mentioned her husband was always nice? Maybe she was jealous of him being nice to you? Is there a chance she was jealous of your bf?

Maybe. I heard her yelling at him after he helped me bring my groceries in one time. Lol. He was just being nice but I don’t think she liked it too much. I’m not out here trying to steal husbands. Lol. As far as my bf, maybe? He’s a really sexy guy. He’s 6’5”, really fit and has tattoos. I assumed (maybe wrongly) that she might have a problem with him being black and me being white.

You've really got some main character syndrome going on here, dear.

Or a fantasy novel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think we do know for sure that the neighbor is badmouthing OP. We've only heard that from her, and what if she is just paranoid or otherwise cognitively compromised? People like to declare that they "know for a fact" on little to no actual, firm evidence.

DCUM is not the place for "firm evidence." This isn't court. You can either accept an OP's premise or not, but there's zero point in trying to sleuth out "the truth" of a situation if you are skeptical. You won't get it. The neighbor isn't on here and even if he was, he'd almost certainly massage the facts in his favor too.

If you want to weigh in on what she should do, you pretty much have to take what she's offered you here at face value, which is that her neighbor dislikes her personally even though she has not, to her knowledge, done anything to them. And that her neighbor has repeatedly disparaged her to others in the building to the point where they have alerted her to it, and that these comments have included criticism of her being a single, middle-aged, professional woman.

That is the premise. Take it or leave it. I personally believe it because I've encountered people like this before and while I'm married and have a kid, I'm middle aged and have specifically encountered men who took an instant dislike to me because they just had some kind of issue with middle-aged women (mommy issues, probably). I wouldn't want to live next to one either.

Wow. Every decision in life should be made according to the evidence. I hate this post-truth mentality.

There is a (probably) crazy person who proposes to cause a young couple in her building (who may or may not be actual jerks... we don't know because OP may actually be the one with the odd fixation) a lot of trouble and possibly cost them a lot of money if they move because they can't take her harassment anymore. So many of you are giving her the harassment tips she is seeking instead of reminding her that mature adults don't harass.

The fact that you think you can suss out the truth if the situation (which might not even be a real situation, or might be intentionally presented differently from the truth to maintain anonymity) based on a few posts is ridiculous. Do we know the couple is young? Judging a woman for being single past a certain age actually says retirees to me. We don't know any finances of anyone here. OP specifically asked for "legal, safe" suggestions that lean against harassing behavior. Most of the suggestions are very benign things like hanging wind chimes or putting up annoying door decor, not harassing behaviors.

Your overreaction to this is much more revealing about you than OP or anyone else involved.