Will DC get rescinded?

[Anonymous]

That so many parents are suggesting ways for the OP's son to cover his ass--including unethical ones like putting down multiple deposits--makes me despair for the future of our planet and explains much as to why the U.S. is such a cesspool, culturally speaking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

I’m from the real life planet. A lot of families would have kicked up a bigger fuss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

I’m from the real life planet. A lot of families would have kicked up a bigger fuss.

And humiliated themselves, and ensure that every college in the world knows about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

I’m from the real life planet. A lot of families would have kicked up a bigger fuss.

And humiliated themselves, and ensure that every college in the world knows about it.

BUT they didn’t, so old school may be willing to work with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

I’m from the real life planet. A lot of families would have kicked up a bigger fuss.

And humiliated themselves, and ensure that every college in the world knows about it.

BUT they didn’t, so old school may be willing to work with them.

"May be willing to work with" is a whole different thing than "owing" OP's family help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

I’m from the real life planet. A lot of families would have kicked up a bigger fuss.

And humiliated themselves, and ensure that every college in the world knows about it.

BUT they didn’t, so old school may be willing to work with them.

"May be willing to work with" is a whole different thing than "owing" OP's family help.

Word games, but OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

I’m from the real life planet. A lot of families would have kicked up a bigger fuss.

And humiliated themselves, and ensure that every college in the world knows about it.

BUT they didn’t, so old school may be willing to work with them.

"May be willing to work with" is a whole different thing than "owing" OP's family help.

Word games, but OK.

Definitely not "word games."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

If you kick a kid out mid year, you owe the family an explanation of what happens next, and what they will do and say when colleges inquire. Helping the parents cover it up is dishonest. Being kind is a favor. Being clear about the possible long term consequences is not a favor and is not dishonest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

This is a terrible take. The school did the family an enormous favor by letting him quietly withdraw instead of expelling him. He must have done something pretty bad to be asked to leave midway through senior year. The family owes the school. If they had expelled him, it would be on his transcript and they might have been obligated to report it to the colleges. It's a giant courtesy that they're letting him withdraw. The school owes the family nothing. I'd be worried that asking the school for anything would make them change their mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

This is a terrible take. The school did the family an enormous favor by letting him quietly withdraw instead of expelling him. He must have done something pretty bad to be asked to leave midway through senior year. The family owes the school. If they had expelled him, it would be on his transcript and they might have been obligated to report it to the colleges. It's a giant courtesy that they're letting him withdraw. The school owes the family nothing. I'd be worried that asking the school for anything would make them change their mind.

My take as well. I would not expect the previous high school to return their call.

As far as a strategy going forward, I would consult with an experienced private college counselor and get their thoughts. Without more details as to the nature of the offense (crime?) we really can't advise you. Put down a deposit at *one* of the EA schools. Maybe also submit some applications to schools in your home country in case the deposited school rescinds the child. A foreign school is probably less likely to care about whatever it is your son did in teh U.S.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Former school asked you to withdraw the student and you went along with it. Morally, they owe you something for being so easy. You might be able to get them to do more for you - for example helping you understand the situation your son is in.
They can help you understand the student handbooks and contracts and coach you and your son on how to approach disclosure and conversations with possible next schools. If they don't want to do that, talk to an educational consultant or lawyer (probably privately, without telling your old school) so you can find out what your rights and obligations are.

What planet are you on?

The school was the one who was "easy" by allowing the student to save face and "withdrawn" instead of being kicked out. The school owes OP's kid nothing.

If you kick a kid out mid year, you owe the family an explanation of what happens next, and what they will do and say when colleges inquire. Helping the parents cover it up is dishonest. Being kind is a favor. Being clear about the possible long term consequences is not a favor and is not dishonest.

If you kick a kid out, mid year or at any time, the kid is no longer the schools problem or business. Yes, "being kind is a favor"-not something the kicked out kid is "owed."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It probably depends a lot on how selective the accepted schools are but yeah, you need to just tell them all. You don’t have to say the incident but you have to say whatever is true (child withdrew and enrolled in whatever online school or blah blah).

I mean they got kicked out of school, isn’t it appropriate that would affect their college?

This.
OP is intentionally not telling us what the "incident" is, but even though it happened off campus, his boarding school felt it was something that could reflect badly on them and made him leave. Couldn't it also reflect badly on a college? Is this "incident" something that he might do again?

It's pretty interesting that the OP is more concerned with the future of her kid than with the fact that he did something so egregious that his boarding school effectively kicked him out (and probably was willing to frame the expulsion as a voluntary withdrawal because said parent would probably sue). I am an educator at an R1 institution, and parents like the OP are one of the reasons why the hand basket is accelerating.

Oh come on. The parent still loves their kid and cares about their future. There is a whole separate life there you're not seeing on one DCurbanmoms post asking a specific question. It's very possible that the parent came down really hard on their kid, or agonized with the kid about what went wrong, or worked hard to find the best therapist they could. It's not relevant to the question, so they might not have put that in there. Cause they don't owe us that when asking their question. If my kid messed up bad, I'd take it very seriously, there would be consequences, they'd get help if they needed it, AND I'd care about how this might impact college stuff.

[Anonymous]

Trying to work the system won't be a good look and the question is, is your kid really ready for college? It truly sounds like he isn't.

[Anonymous]

OP if you are still reading, I suggest you take this over to the college confidential forums. Look at the prep school forums and see if there is anything similar. People here are not giving to helpful information and clearly most seem not to have any experience with boarding schools.

To your original question, DC will need to disclose the change in circumstance to colleges. Look at each application carefully but I can't think of one that doesn't have this requirement. All colleges also require the final high school transcript so it would be obvious DC hadn't notified them appropriately when they see a different school on the final transcript.