How is it possible for people to not be able to afford children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a bunch of bull. Low income people grow their families like there’s no tomorrow.

Low income people qualify for Head Start. Good luck finding a paid program of that quality for under 30K within an hour of DC.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as public preschool, either, so the public school thing won’t come into play for the first five years. Also, the school day doesn’t last for normal working hours, so you have to provide coverage if you plan to keep working after you have kids in school.

DCPS offers free preschool for 3-4 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is no such thing as public preschool, either, so the public school thing won’t come into play for the first five years. Also, the school day doesn’t last for normal working hours, so you have to provide coverage if you plan to keep working after you have kids in school.

DCPS offers free preschool for 3-4 year olds.

I live in the MD/VA suburbs close in and not here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think OP is a troll because I took her post to be specifically targeted toward white collar professionals. She mentioned talking to people she knew.

So for that group, I think the claim that they cannot afford kids refers to the fact that they cannot afford to raise kids without significantly altering their standard of living or in the manner they believe kids should be raised.

I say this with appreciation for how expensive it is to raise kids. I had my first my senior year of college and my second three years later. H and I had a combined income of $75K and lived in a close in DC suburb. We made it work, but it was tight for a long time. And my kids had a wonderful childhood (are now 18 and 21 at UVA and WM, so they turned out ok!), but it probably wasn’t the childhood some white collar professional believe is needed to raise a child.

I’ve heard a lot of my friends who had kids later at way higher salaries and in much better positions economically and career wise claim they can barely afford kids. Their version and expectations for raising kids, though, was vastly different from mine.

That's probably the case, but many of the answers still apply. Most white collar professionals don't make six figures even at the peak of their careers and some of them might be heavily indebted, either due to their own irresponsibility or circumstances out of their control. People overestimate how much they know about someone's finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

OP here. I'd assume that as a woman who's interested in having children you wouldn't look for a man making 50K unless you're fresh out of school or you wanted to become a provider yourself and as I said. 150K is pretty normal here. Almost any couple of professionals should be able to hit that mark in their 30s.

Shame on you, OP. You’re obviously a troll as I’m assuming that you aren’t stupid enough to believe that everyone can marry a high earner and/or wants to marry one at any cost including foregoing a good relationship with a different partner with a lower income. People with average incomes deserve children too and the cost is too high for these individuals because of the cost of childcare, college, groceries, housing, etc.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know if she’s a troll or not but I agree with her. I work at a school full of lower to lower middle class parents in the DC metro area and most of them are doing a terrific job raising kids on not much money. They would think it insane that upper middle class white collar professionals think they can’t have kids. I wonder how many of those professionals have parents with paid off homes and 5 bedrooms but they wouldn’t be willing to move home for a few years to cover costs. When families stick together it’s not hard to make it work if it’s your priority.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They cant afford children and have the same lifestyle as pre children. Daycare is $2500 per month for one. That for at least 3 years. Diaper etc etc all adds up too.

With daycare that expensive + housing family would be spending close to 50k a year. For a family making 60k that's not a matter of lifestyle, it's a financial disaster.

There's a wide range of daycare costs. They are not all 2500/mo in the DMV.

+1. Those run about $300-400/week in NoVa.

Where is there an infant daycare for less than 2,500 a month in the DCUM area - besides the exurbs and areas you don’t want to walk in.

In-home daycares.

The going rate for in-home in Arlington is $400-450/week - that’s $20k per year on the low end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if she’s a troll or not but I agree with her. I work at a school full of lower to lower middle class parents in the DC metro area and most of them are doing a terrific job raising kids on not much money. They would think it insane that upper middle class white collar professionals think they can’t have kids. I wonder how many of those professionals have parents with paid off homes and 5 bedrooms but they wouldn’t be willing to move home for a few years to cover costs. When families stick together it’s not hard to make it work if it’s your priority.

I would wager that more adults from this area, with family still nearby, have kids vs. transplants who moved here for jobs. Because then they can do the things you say- live with their parents for a while and potentially have some childcare help when they do have kids. The cost for childcare, housing, and college is especially daunting when you feel like you are totally on your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if she’s a troll or not but I agree with her. I work at a school full of lower to lower middle class parents in the DC metro area and most of them are doing a terrific job raising kids on not much money. They would think it insane that upper middle class white collar professionals think they can’t have kids. I wonder how many of those professionals have parents with paid off homes and 5 bedrooms but they wouldn’t be willing to move home for a few years to cover costs. When families stick together it’s not hard to make it work if it’s your priority.

I would wager that more adults from this area, with family still nearby, have kids vs. transplants who moved here for jobs. Because then they can do the things you say- live with their parents for a while and potentially have some childcare help when they do have kids. The cost for childcare, housing, and college is especially daunting when you feel like you are totally on your own.

This, I know more local couples (of multiple economic levels and races) who live with mom and dad, and start having children while living with their parents. Enables the lower earner of the couple to stay at home with the baby, and grandparents are right there to provide childcare. If they are the only kids, sometimes they just stay and eventually inherit the house.

Those of us who moved here for jobs don't have this type of support.

[Anonymous]

The same way 20 somethings can't afford to live on less $100,000.

Unwillingness to budget and prioritize expenses and feeling entitled to top line everything.

[Anonymous]

Well, my cousin had two kids while working at a grocery store. Her boyfriend took odd jobs on the farms in the area. Affordable is relative. They live in a mobile home, stagger their work hours and trade childcare with neighbors to avoid daycare expenses, mostly eat what she can get from the grocery store at reduced cost (overstock items, produce past its prime, etc). I don't think that is the lifestyle OP is talking about.

When white-collar professionals in a major metropolitan area say they can't afford kids, they mean they can't afford the lifestyle they want for their kids. They probably chose a place to live based on two incomes, and don't want to give up their shorter commute. So that ties them in to daycare, which does get really expensive. Sure, there are ways to cut back on expenses, but that's not the life they want. And that's ok! Life is all about making choices, including financial choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

OP here. I'd assume that as a woman who's interested in having children you wouldn't look for a man making 50K unless you're fresh out of school or you wanted to become a provider yourself and as I said. 150K is pretty normal here. Almost any couple of professionals should be able to hit that mark in their 30s.

Shame on you, OP. You’re obviously a troll as I’m assuming that you aren’t stupid enough to believe that everyone can marry a high earner and/or wants to marry one at any cost including foregoing a good relationship with a different partner with a lower income. People with average incomes deserve children too and the cost is too high for these individuals because of the cost of childcare, college, groceries, housing, etc.

In many "higher class" circles women are essentially raised to be trophy wives. They're sent to college, but expected to quit as soon as kids come. As a result, most of the families have a housewife with a high-earning spouse, which skews people's perception about the availability of high earning men. I used to work in high-end retail where many women were former SAHMs to high earning husbands. They could not understand why it was such a big deal for me to get my hours cut. They assumed that my husband would pay for everything if I couldn't make money on my own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same way 20 somethings can't afford to live on less $100,000.

Unwillingness to budget and prioritize expenses and feeling entitled to top line everything.

Choosing lifestyle over kids isn't entitlement. Choosing kids you don't want to afford or can't afford is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t know if she’s a troll or not but I agree with her. I work at a school full of lower to lower middle class parents in the DC metro area and most of them are doing a terrific job raising kids on not much money. They would think it insane that upper middle class white collar professionals think they can’t have kids. I wonder how many of those professionals have parents with paid off homes and 5 bedrooms but they wouldn’t be willing to move home for a few years to cover costs. When families stick together it’s not hard to make it work if it’s your priority.

I'm one of those upper middle class white collar professionals. I grew up in a one bedroom apartment sleeping in the living room with my sister. There's no way my husband and I are going back to a living room with a small child just so we can say we have kids. My husband grew up in a lower middle class household, so his parents are still working as they can't retire. They shouldn't be burdened with childcare.

I guess we could have kids anyways and live like our parents did, but we don't want to. We don't want a lower middle class lifestyle. That's what we mean when we say we can't afford kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

OP here. I'd assume that as a woman who's interested in having children you wouldn't look for a man making 50K unless you're fresh out of school or you wanted to become a provider yourself and as I said. 150K is pretty normal here. Almost any couple of professionals should be able to hit that mark in their 30s.

Shame on you, OP. You’re obviously a troll as I’m assuming that you aren’t stupid enough to believe that everyone can marry a high earner and/or wants to marry one at any cost including foregoing a good relationship with a different partner with a lower income. People with average incomes deserve children too and the cost is too high for these individuals because of the cost of childcare, college, groceries, housing, etc.

In many "higher class" circles women are essentially raised to be trophy wives. They're sent to college, but expected to quit as soon as kids come. As a result, most of the families have a housewife with a high-earning spouse, which skews people's perception about the availability of high earning men. I used to work in high-end retail where many women were former SAHMs to high earning husbands. They could not understand why it was such a big deal for me to get my hours cut. They assumed that my husband would pay for everything if I couldn't make money on my own.

Since when raising your own kids makes you a trophy wife?