How is it possible for people to not be able to afford children?

[Anonymous]

I've heard the "I can't afford children" from many couples without children. These couples are in their 30s which is an age at which you've worked enough to have a decently paying career, so it's weird. I was making around 50K before I had my children and stayed home and my husband didn't hit 150k until a couples of years later, so we're pretty average in our area. We're planning to send our kids to public school when they're older and enroll them in cheaper activities, but it looks like everyone around us is holding out for private schools which can be incredibly expensive. Have these lifestyle expectations made children "unaffordable" or there's something else I'm missing?

[Anonymous]

Kids cost a lot, but I can't imagine a world without mine.

[Anonymous]

Where do you live?

[Anonymous]

Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where do you live?

OP here. Arlington.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s more that they can’t factor kids into their current lifestyle. Of course they can afford kids in the purely technical sense, but not while keeping the same standard of living or giving their future kids everything they believe is necessary.

And that’s fine. Not everyone needs to have kids, and people can choose not to do so if they don’t believe it’s the right choice for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

OP here. I'd assume that as a woman who's interested in having children you wouldn't look for a man making 50K unless you're fresh out of school or you wanted to become a provider yourself and as I said. 150K is pretty normal here. Almost any couple of professionals should be able to hit that mark in their 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this for real?
You were making 50K, which is closer to what an average american makes compared to what your husband makes. Now imagine that instead of having a husband making 150K, you had one that made 50k like you did. Staying home under that situation would leave you 50K minus taxes, which is not poverty level, but low for any practical purpose. If instead you decided to go to work, you'd be spending 20k+ on daycare, assuming both you and your husband had regular schedules and didn't work shifts.

OP here. I'd assume that as a woman who's interested in having children you wouldn't look for a man making 50K unless you're fresh out of school or you wanted to become a provider yourself and as I said. 150K is pretty normal here. Almost any couple of professionals should be able to hit that mark in their 30s.

Most people don't live in your area and not everyone living in your area makes 150k. Also, most households who make that are dual income households. You just lucked out when marrying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s more that they can’t factor kids into their current lifestyle. Of course they can afford kids in the purely technical sense, but not while keeping the same standard of living or giving their future kids everything they believe is necessary.

And that’s fine. Not everyone needs to have kids, and people can choose not to do so if they don’t believe it’s the right choice for them.

That's not necessarily true. There are many jobs that provide very low salaries, such as those done by childcare workers, cooks, EMTs and nail technicians. Two adults working this sort of job would have a hard time paying rent and bills after either paying for daycare or having a parent stay home.

[Anonymous]

-150K is not the norm in most places and many people make very little money even in their 30s.
-Some people want to afford a lifestyle they wouldn't be able to afford if they had children.
-Some people are heavily indebted and can't afford any more spending.
-Some people have other reasons why they're not having children and "can't afford kids" is just their way of saying they won't have kids, but don't want to touch the subject either.

[Anonymous]

Daycare costs are insane.

[Anonymous]

They don't want to make any sacrifices or change their lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

It’s a bunch of bull. Low income people grow their families like there’s no tomorrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They don't want to make any sacrifices or change their lifestyle.

This seems closer to what's up.

[Anonymous]

Get out of your bubble.

The median HHI in the US is only like $70k. Try raising a family on that while trying to own a home, pay for childcare, save for college, and save for your own retirement. That's not even factoring costs for daily living.