Why do non-alcoholics find “dry January” difficult?

[Anonymous]

What exactly is your question?

It's January and a friend invites me to a vineyard, I don't want to decline the invite and also...
My H comes home with a new bottle of wine that he thinks I will like with the meal I told him I'm preparing. I don't want to be like, thanks, not thanks.

It's my best friend's daughter's wedding and during the toast I'm going to wave off the glass of champagne.

I think the reality is so what if I have a sip/glass/taste of wine... I'm not going to destroy my life.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know why this thread is so long.

I did dry January last year and made it 77 days. It was amazing and really recalibrated my relationship with alcohol.

Looking forward to starting anew in 2 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s some science involved, right? Alcohol gives you a dopamine hit. It’s enjoyable. Taking away something your brain has come to enjoy can be hard. I think dry january is a great way to check in with your habits. Lots of people are gray area drinkers who know they have a problem, but that problem isn’t necessarily obvious to others. If dry january is very hard for you, and not just an inconvenience, probably it’s time to examine if you’ve got a problem.

Alcohol has never given me a dopamine hit. It doesn’t do much for me at all, tbh. This is why I can enjoy a mocktail just as much as a cocktail. They are the same for me.

[Anonymous]

What is hard about dry January? I spend the month binging on mocktails, and they are often even better than alcoholic drinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was listening to some people over the holidays talking about dry January. Apparently it is becoming a thing among their circles. All of them claim to be non-alcoholics though I’m sure some are functional alcoholics. It was sad to hear how difficult some consider the challenge.

Do you participate in dry January? If so, how much of it is a challenge for you and why (social pressure, stress, …)? Has it made you think about how much alcohol you drink and/or how much you spend on booze?

No I do not. It’s silly posturing. I naturally drink less when the holidays end, though. Dinners out, parties, etc. drop off. I never feel pressure to drink. But I like a glass of wine or cocktail with dinner.

It just seems insufferable and trendy. I like a drink here and there. I stopped cold turkey while I was pregnant (not that long ago in my case) bc it was actually important.

If I want to have a nice glass of wine or a hot toddy on a cold dreary Jan day, I will!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it last year and will probably do some variation again this year. It’s difficult in the sense that altering any hard set habit is difficult. I like the ritual of drinking a glass of wine while I make dinner and I like the taste of wine with food. None of this necessarily makes for problem drinking, but as alcohol is an addictive substance, it’s nice to remind myself that I can live without it. It’s just a reset.

Ditto. I think with anything like alcohol, you need to be conscious about your choices.

I become accustomed to having a glass of wine while I cook and another while we eat (and these are generous glasses). Dry January makes me stop and think "Do I really want/need wine?" I did Dry January for the first time last year and found it hard but not that hard, which was heartening. I also lessened my consumption for months afterward, although it creeped up in the fall and during the holidays. And I found my bloodwork was much improved.

I'm doing Dry January again this year because I think it's a good discipline. I'm not quitting alcohol, I'm just stopping for a month.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here — I came from a heavy drinking family and culture. Several close relatives and family friends owned and managed bars while I was growing up. Consequently, i spent a lot of time in bars even as a child. I saw people who didn’t have a problem, and people who said they didn’t have a problem. I’m not opposed to drinking. I’m just fascinated by the concept of dry January (be it alcohol or cannabis or … shopping). I’m Catholic so abstaining from something is not a foreign concept to me, so adding dry January sometimes seems like a repetitive concept. I rarely drink to the point that some friends/neighbors (not all) in the DMV make a point to say something that I’m having a drink. It’s weird because I don’t think of myself as a non-drinker but I guess it’s all relative when I have a drink maybe 4x a year and friends have a drink or more every week.

Again the thing that struck me was how many people (my age and younger) in the conversation said that dry January would be a struggle. I would not have beeen surprised if they were boomers or older. Although I shouldn’t have been surprised since COVID closures didn’t negatively affect ABC stores and takeout alcohol restrictions were relaxed.

That’s because actual alcoholics account for something like 80% of alcohol sales. Liquor stores weren’t closed specifically because we didn’t need our ERs full of withdrawing alcoholics. It wasn’t because of the wine moms. I can’t believe how many people still don’t understand this.

Hon, a significant minority of Wine Moms actually have alcohol use disorder. see especially 4, 9 and 10. Preening around in your Golden Goose shoes doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic

https://www.medscape.com/answers/285913-41535/what-are-the-dsm-5-criteria-for-%20alcohol-use-disorder?form=fpf

[Anonymous]

I think it would be easier if there were more drink options. I don’t want caffeine at night, and so many of the other non alcoholic drinks are sickly sweet or just seem weird to drink at night. (Ever been to a blues club in New Orleans with someone who asks for apple juice? It’s weird). Sometimes I don’t even really want something boozey but there’s just nothing else to order. Someone needs to come up with mocktails that are interesting, not childish and actually worth what they charge for them.

I agree that the drinking judgment from regular pot smokers is tiresome. Most of the people I know either smoke daily or have some wine or a cocktail daily. The weed users are generally much more gross.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There’s some science involved, right? Alcohol gives you a dopamine hit. It’s enjoyable. Taking away something your brain has come to enjoy can be hard. I think dry january is a great way to check in with your habits. Lots of people are gray area drinkers who know they have a problem, but that problem isn’t necessarily obvious to others. If dry january is very hard for you, and not just an inconvenience, probably it’s time to examine if you’ve got a problem.

+1
I was a problem drinker for twenty years, but it never actually caused me any problems (apart from medical issues that might arise later, of course). I think many people are the same: they know that they drink too much, but it’s never made them late for work, they’ve never driven drunk, they’ve never been assaulted, never thrown up in a cab, and so on, and they’ve probably gone a week or two without drinking several times over the years, without any withdrawal or even really noticing it. So they never feel the urgent need to cut back or stop.

Apart from maybe saying something foolish, my drinking had never had a negative impact on my life. Then I had a blackout a few years ago and that was the wake up call for me. I was luckily at home but I thought about what could have happened if I wasn’t. For some people, it might be something worse, like getting behind the wheel and getting pulled over.
If dry January can make people take stock of their drinking without some big problem forcing them to do it, I think that’s a good thing.

[Anonymous]

I do dry months at various times in the year just to break habits. I find drinking can easily creep up. I start to get into a habit of a drink after work or a bottle on a weekend with friends and it turns into maybe 7-10 drinks a week. I enjoy the taste and also the relaxation. But it does tend to make me a little bloated and puffy and so if I realize it has creeped up then I just stop drinking for a few weeks. I don’t find it difficult at all to not drink. Then I reset back to maybe 1-2 drinks a week and then when it creeps up again, I take a break again.

[Anonymous]

I’m thinking of having a damp January. Not dry, just a bit damp.

[Anonymous]

I’d find it a little hard to give up cheese, chocolate, music, tv, or being outdoors for a month. That doesn’t mean I have an out of control relationship with them. Look at lint - people give up something they enjoy for a month specifically for the struggle. Again doesn’t mean that typically they are out of control with that thing

[Anonymous]

I can’t believe people still drink regularly given the all the science linking it to cancer and other poor health outcomes.

If you find it challenging to skip the booze for a month, then you have a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I used to be a once-per-month social drinker but had to stop entirely due to a medical issue. I don't miss the alcohol itself, but I miss the ritual and social aspects of it - a drink at a restaurant bar waiting for the table or happy hour with friends. Maybe this is part of the problem with those having difficulty with dry January. While I know that I can partake in non-alcoholic drinks in these settings, its not quite the same.

I stopped for medical reasons as well, which wasn't very difficult to do when it wasn't allowed. Sometimes I take a sip of my husband's red wine, and after this long, it tastes like nasty cough mixture.

It's weird to see people getting sloshed when it's no longer part of your life. I also object to paying for their expensive drinks if we split the bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe people still drink regularly given the all the science linking it to cancer and other poor health outcomes.

If you find it challenging to skip the booze for a month, then you have a problem.

The science is all over the place. Most studies link a glass of wine a day to good health outcomes in terms of heart disease. Fifty percent of Americans will die from heart disease, so a a drink a day is probably more beneficial than abstaining for most people.