Feel bad late to early pick up at preschool because of xmas show

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you are misunderstanding how religious-sponsored preschools work. One of the best preschools near me is run by a conservative congregation. Probably 1/4th of families who attend are not Jewish. They are clear in advance that the preschool follows the Jewish calendar including closing at changing times on Fridays as Shabbat shifts with daylight hours. Last year I remember my friend scrambling to get pickup help when she forgot that the closing time was moving up for the season. And she has to be there for random things like Purim
parties in the middle of the day. There isn’t a lot of hand-holding for families of other religions because no one forced them to choose the school. To people who are not religious or not Jewish, it is a confusing schedule and occasionally annoying, yet there is a huge wait list and lots of happy families.

I’m saying this to say that it’s unfair to enroll your child in a religious preschool and then be mad that there are religious and cultural expectations for members of the school community. That’s why people seek these kinds of institutions out: they want to be part of the community.

It sounds like you want a really corporate, customer-oriented place like a Bright Horizons or Kindercare. I don’t even know if you would be happy with public school. Wait until you have to figure out last-minute outfits for spirit week or drive your kid early to decorate for homecoming. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

[Anonymous]

I think OP might not be American and is very surprised by parents’ involvement in American schools. I have 3 kids in private schools and I can’t believe how much parents involvement there is. Of course not everything (almost nothing) is mandatory, but when every other parent is there, you don’t want to have your kid always alone. In our schools there are weekly (or bi-weekly) events in the morning after drop off where parents walk their kids in the classrooms and do some simple games with their kids. Then there are SO MANY different events that come up for which one parents needs/should be present or for which parents need to volunteer.

We can’t make them all, but try our best especially those that involve our kids directly.

I am Italian and in my country my parents needed to be present to watch recitals twice a year and twice to speak to the teachers.

I am late to work or need to take time away from work weekly. Thankfully my job is flexible and I work from home so nobody is checking.

As for reading school messages, that’s kind of on you or your husband.

[Anonymous]

OP, this happened to me once with a public school event. We got one notice of the event via Class Dojo (app for communicating with parents) but it was just a PDF of a flyer and it didn't say parents were invited, just that the event was happening at school on Friday. I saw it, but thought it was for a school assembly. I was like "have fun at your assembly today" at drop off.

Turns out it was a performance and parents were invited. When it started and neither DH or I were there, DC got upset and refused to participate. I got a text message (not call) that this was happening and they asked if I could come to the school. I was in the middle of project with an immediate deadline (like two hours) and dropping it to run to the school would have been very challenging. I asked some questions about DC to ascertain how urgent it was, but they said DC was calming down. I apologized profusely for misunderstanding but said I could not leave work at that moment (even if I left immediately, I would not have been there in time anyway).

They never contacted my DH at all. We are both listed as contacts. When I arrived at school for pick up, the teacher told me I "deserved a spanking."

Anyway OP, I'm on your side. Schools need to be crystal clear about this stuff, need to communicate with both parents, and should not assume that a parent will read between the lines or just know what is going on when they've made almost no effort to tell us that there's been a significant change in schedule or that we're expected at the school in the middle of the day.

[Anonymous]

So moral of the story for you, OP:

Open school communications.

Write school events on your calendar.

Read papers sent home from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

They never contacted my DH at all. We are both listed as contacts. When I arrived at school for pick up, the teacher told me I "deserved a spanking."

The comment about deserving a spanking is way out of line.

Are you saying that as a teacher in the middle of an event that is being disrupted by a child's behavior, if I call one (the one listed first, the one who has done the most communicating in the past, the one who the kid is asking for, etc . . . ) and reach them, I'm supposed to then call the other parent? I can't assume that two adults who are married to each other would communicate with each other?

I get that if I can't reach one, I should try the other, and that it's sexist when people don't do that. But if I call a parent and they answer, I can't turn it over to the one I spoke to?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They never contacted my DH at all. We are both listed as contacts. When I arrived at school for pick up, the teacher told me I "deserved a spanking."

The comment about deserving a spanking is way out of line.

Are you saying that as a teacher in the middle of an event that is being disrupted by a child's behavior, if I call one (the one listed first, the one who has done the most communicating in the past, the one who the kid is asking for, etc . . . ) and reach them, I'm supposed to then call the other parent? I can't assume that two adults who are married to each other would communicate with each other?

I get that if I can't reach one, I should try the other, and that it's sexist when people don't do that. But if I call a parent and they answer, I can't turn it over to the one I spoke to?

Substitute text for call. But my point is the same.

[Anonymous]

People of a different religion should not be attending another religion’s school. Un-enroll your kid, OP. You are the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this happened to me once with a public school event. We got one notice of the event via Class Dojo (app for communicating with parents) but it was just a PDF of a flyer and it didn't say parents were invited, just that the event was happening at school on Friday. I saw it, but thought it was for a school assembly. I was like "have fun at your assembly today" at drop off.

Turns out it was a performance and parents were invited. When it started and neither DH or I were there, DC got upset and refused to participate. I got a text message (not call) that this was happening and they asked if I could come to the school. I was in the middle of project with an immediate deadline (like two hours) and dropping it to run to the school would have been very challenging. I asked some questions about DC to ascertain how urgent it was, but they said DC was calming down. I apologized profusely for misunderstanding but said I could not leave work at that moment (even if I left immediately, I would not have been there in time anyway).

They never contacted my DH at all. We are both listed as contacts. When I arrived at school for pick up, the teacher told me I "deserved a spanking."

Anyway OP, I'm on your side. Schools need to be crystal clear about this stuff, need to communicate with both parents, and should not assume that a parent will read between the lines or just know what is going on when they've made almost no effort to tell us that there's been a significant change in schedule or that we're expected at the school in the middle of the day.

This is op.
The admin said in an email she always calls mom first. She said that's just how she does things. Her exact words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

Op here. The app was the only notification that included info about parents attending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

Op here. The app was the only notification that included info about parents attending.

So, they notified you three different ways, with the most detail in the app?