Feel bad late to early pick up at preschool because of xmas show

[Anonymous]

In my experience, parents who don't read communications home from school just don't have their sh** together. It is not race/ethnicity/language/income based. Every couple of years I have a family that doesn't have their act together and everything is a surprise (field trips, class parties, etc.). This year my clueless parent is a basic white woman who is too busy to read anything.

[Anonymous]

Pro tip: If you want the school to contact your husband, put his cell phone on all the school forms (even for your number).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, parents who don't read communications home from school just don't have their sh** together. It is not race/ethnicity/language/income based. Every couple of years I have a family that doesn't have their act together and everything is a surprise (field trips, class parties, etc.). This year my clueless parent is a basic white woman who is too busy to read anything.

Ds 's daycare terminated the contract of a family like this. Field trip forms not even taken out of the backpack, showing up when daycare was closed and complaining about it. (IIRC they had to have some plumbing work done so daycare was closed that day - no water) Just totally uninformed. It wasn't worth the hassle.

Op needs to get it together.

[Anonymous]

Switch schools. I don't celebrate Christmas and would be pissed if I had to attend a mandatory Christmas party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Switch schools. I don't celebrate Christmas and would be pissed if I had to attend a mandatory Christmas party.

I am a public school teacher and a firm believer in secularism in public schools. But I don’t think being pissed at a church for having Christmas events is rational.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Switch schools. I don't celebrate Christmas and would be pissed if I had to attend a mandatory Christmas party.

I am a public school teacher and a firm believer in secularism in public schools. But I don’t think being pissed at a church for having Christmas events is rational.

Op here. Yes, I agree. I do not expect them to change anything for us. We can also pick him up early and not attend. That's what I plan on doing next year. The director was kind of bi**** when I mentioned we don't celebrate Christmas and asked me to write down the holidays we don't celebrate. Frankly, I think it's unnecessary to ask for that information since we don't expect them to change anything for our son. She even went as far as to say if we don't celebrate Halloween and Christmas maybe it isn't the best school for us. We opted out of the Halloween party and took him to school later and I could tell she felt sorry for him because he didn't have a costume. He loves the school though. I don't like attending these programs alone. Dh is always too busy to come even though he works from home and could easily take off for an hour.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, parents who don't read communications home from school just don't have their sh** together. It is not race/ethnicity/language/income based. Every couple of years I have a family that doesn't have their act together and everything is a surprise (field trips, class parties, etc.). This year my clueless parent is a basic white woman who is too busy to read anything.

You sound racist. I think the OP has learning disabilities. As a teacher, you should understand children can grow up and still have disabilities/ process things slower.

[Anonymous]

Two weeks ago?

Open your emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I totally get feeling upset about this but a note in the folder and an email home should definitely be enough. Part of having a kid in school is keeping up with this stuff. Are you listed first as the POC for your child? Unless you didn't pick up the call, I wouldn't expect them to call your husband.

The email was 2 weeks ago. Public.school don't do this s***
They can't just decide they won't be with your kid 2 week before. It doesn't work like that. The email also send it had an invite to the party but didn't mention they had to be picked up early.

They also put it on his folder.

Stop deflecting blame and take responsibility. This was your fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I totally get feeling upset about this but a note in the folder and an email home should definitely be enough. Part of having a kid in school is keeping up with this stuff. Are you listed first as the POC for your child? Unless you didn't pick up the call, I wouldn't expect them to call your husband.

I didn't pick up the call. The VM left said my kid was sitting by himself eating cookies because "you aren't here." Not because his parents aren't here, but me, mom. Dad wasn't called.

You are the first contacted listed in their paperwork. This isn’t a feminist issue. You failed. Do better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re a piece of work. How much more notice do you need? Neon signs, smoke signals, or what? They sent an email, you didn’t open it. They sent a paper, you threw it away.

You failed as a parent here. It’s OK!! Now you know to open and read the emails and to read the papers that the teacher sent home.

OP said she went back and found the email and it just invited parents to the pageant. It did not say early pick up. My experience with church-based preschools is:
1. Most schools post big signs starting the week ahead of any schedule changes and have teachers remind parents at pick-up all week. Basically the equivalent of neon signs!
2. At church preschool where many families also attend the affiliated church, there is an assumption that all families have the same information. But they don’t. Church families see each other and the preschool teachers / director at Wed night dinner and on Sunday. Church moms often have a moms group separate from their bible study group which is also moms. There is a lot of interaction. There is an also a lot of tradition and regular rhythm to the liturgical calendar if you grew up in the same denomination and some things are just assumed.
3. Any preschool that normally has pick-up between 11am and 1pm assumes that a parents / grandparent / nanny is available mid-day. The assumptions about lead time and parent flexibility are very different than a school that caters to parents seeking 8am - 6pm childcare.

I’m not naive enough to believe that OP is the only parent who doesn’t go to that church to know to pick up early. To believe that the preschool/daycare did not send out notification. If that had been the case, you better believe there would’ve been other parents who didn’t pick up on time.

Thank you. If the preschool had dropped the ball the way she claims, half the class would have still been sitting there eating cookies. But they weren’t. Hmm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you titled your post "Feel bad late to early pick up at preschool because of xmas show," but you do not actually feel bad about it, it seems. Unless you count feeling angry at the school and defensive when others don't agree with you.

NP- I actually think she does feel badly. The post reads to me like someone who feels mom guilt and is trying to deal with it (somewhat problematically) by finding all the ways others contributed to her failure. Honestly some of you need some empathy.

I’m sorry, OP. It sucks and I would just snuggle my kid, say I’m sorry I missed this one and make some hot cocoa with marshmallows for them. Not everything will be perfect all the time.

There would be more empathy if OP was asking for advice on how to stay on top of this stuff because it only gets worse. But excuse making and blaming others isn't going to make it better.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I didn't celebrate Ramadan and lets say I received an email with "Ramadan invite" I would probably not open the email. Playing devils advocate. OP is most likely Hindu, Muslim or Jewish. The school should have had a better message subject. Something like plan to come at 11:30 am for the Xmas show would have been a lot better.

I would absolutely open the email if it was from my child's preschool. That's the point.

This isn't a random spammer email address sending "X invite" emails.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Switch schools. I don't celebrate Christmas and would be pissed if I had to attend a mandatory Christmas party.

I am a public school teacher and a firm believer in secularism in public schools. But I don’t think being pissed at a church for having Christmas events is rational.

Op here. Yes, I agree. I do not expect them to change anything for us. We can also pick him up early and not attend. That's what I plan on doing next year. The director was kind of bi**** when I mentioned we don't celebrate Christmas and asked me to write down the holidays we don't celebrate. Frankly, I think it's unnecessary to ask for that information since we don't expect them to change anything for our son. She even went as far as to say if we don't celebrate Halloween and Christmas maybe it isn't the best school for us. We opted out of the Halloween party and took him to school later and I could tell she felt sorry for him because he didn't have a costume. He loves the school though. I don't like attending these programs alone. Dh is always too busy to come even though he works from home and could easily take off for an hour.

It's a church preschool. Most people there are okay with Christmas celebrations. Many of these schools also want a sense of community which is why they have these events.

You sound too cheap to get a real daycare (secular and with FT childcare hours) and a really unpleasant person because you are at a school that is clearly not the right fit (which is not the fault of the school!)