Feel bad late to early pick up at preschool because of xmas show

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

You seem to resent your husband unavailability a lot. Can you talk to him about taking on some of the responsibility with the school?

I take care of all kids related things because I work less and in a more flexible job from home. I am on top of all and if I need DH to attend an event or buy something school related, I ask and often is able to do it.

I want the school to call me first because DH works in the office and has lots of meetings and usually can’t answer the phone.

If you want DH to be more involved, you need to talk to him… not the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

You seem to resent your husband unavailability a lot. Can you talk to him about taking on some of the responsibility with the school?

I take care of all kids related things because I work less and in a more flexible job from home. I am on top of all and if I need DH to attend an event or buy something school related, I ask and often is able to do it.

I want the school to call me first because DH works in the office and has lots of meetings and usually can’t answer the phone.

If you want DH to be more involved, you need to talk to him… not the school.

Op here. I have spoken to him several times. He blows it off. I don't want to take care of everything. If that work for you good but it's not what works for us. Both of us pick up our children equally but only because I have to ask plan it and keep reminding him to do it Both of us also have the same amount of meetings but yet it's on me to pack lunches and snacks. If I do ask for something, most of the time he bites my head off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

Op here. We wanted it to be more clear that parents should attend. Even on the school calendar, it doesn't specify the program is early/ parents must attend. Other parents from our same origin got mixed up as well. The app has pretty long paragraphs every day and I'm sure some days parents don't read it. Growing up none of us had this much communication coming home every day. All of the days I have checked the app it shares what color they learned about or what letter. It has been important information. His teacher never sends out emails. She actually didn't give our her email address until we asked to send a holiday gift card. Now we know what days we are expected to come early and to check both side of the papers. The calendar had some info about coming early for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it was on the back side! The side we have facing the fridge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

You seem to resent your husband unavailability a lot. Can you talk to him about taking on some of the responsibility with the school?

I take care of all kids related things because I work less and in a more flexible job from home. I am on top of all and if I need DH to attend an event or buy something school related, I ask and often is able to do it.

I want the school to call me first because DH works in the office and has lots of meetings and usually can’t answer the phone.

If you want DH to be more involved, you need to talk to him… not the school.

Op here. I have spoken to him several times. He blows it off. I don't want to take care of everything. If that work for you good but it's not what works for us. Both of us pick up our children equally but only because I have to ask plan it and keep reminding him to do it Both of us also have the same amount of meetings but yet it's on me to pack lunches and snacks. If I do ask for something, most of the time he bites my head off.

Your anger at the school is misplaced. This is an issue within your marriage. He sounds terrible. I don't have great strategies for you, because I didn't really solve this issue in my own marriage, but I wanted to say that I get it, and it's really hard. I wonder if marriage counseling might be helpful?

One thing I wonder is if you would do better with your kid in full day care that's designed for working parents. You'd have more breathing room in the day, and be more likely to make friends with other parents who would share your experiences and might have ideas for you. I realize that that probably isn't a solution for this year, as you're probably locked into tuition, but it's something to consider.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry OP. If your husband is unwilling to be involved then you have to keep on top of things - for your kids’ sake. I understand bc I’m in a similar relationship, but I scaled my job way back because I am aware of how much I can handle. Go part time if you need to… I don’t think it’s fair to blame the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

Op here. We wanted it to be more clear that parents should attend. Even on the school calendar, it doesn't specify the program is early/ parents must attend. Other parents from our same origin got mixed up as well. The app has pretty long paragraphs every day and I'm sure some days parents don't read it. Growing up none of us had this much communication coming home every day. All of the days I have checked the app it shares what color they learned about or what letter. It has been important information. His teacher never sends out emails. She actually didn't give our her email address until we asked to send a holiday gift card. Now we know what days we are expected to come early and to check both side of the papers. The calendar had some info about coming early for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it was on the back side! The side we have facing the fridge.

I just wrote you about how your anger is misplaced, but I want to make sure I understand this.

The school sent out a calendar on paper that you put on the fridge, and then forgot there was information on the back. But the information on the front said there was an event, it just didn't include the time and whether parents were invited.

The last event that was listed that way on the front of the calendar, did involve early parent arrival, and was a month ago.

It's a Christian school, and a time of year when Christians are often celebrating.

They sent you an email, which was a rare occurrence, because they don't usually email, but you didn't open the attachment.

They sent you a flyer.

And none of those things prompted you to think "I wonder what time this event is, and whether I should be there, let me check the app that the school uses as their primary means of communication?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

Op here. We wanted it to be more clear that parents should attend. Even on the school calendar, it doesn't specify the program is early/ parents must attend. Other parents from our same origin got mixed up as well. The app has pretty long paragraphs every day and I'm sure some days parents don't read it. Growing up none of us had this much communication coming home every day. All of the days I have checked the app it shares what color they learned about or what letter. It has been important information. His teacher never sends out emails. She actually didn't give our her email address until we asked to send a holiday gift card. Now we know what days we are expected to come early and to check both side of the papers. The calendar had some info about coming early for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it was on the back side! The side we have facing the fridge.

I just wrote you about how your anger is misplaced, but I want to make sure I understand this.

The school sent out a calendar on paper that you put on the fridge, and then forgot there was information on the back. But the information on the front said there was an event, it just didn't include the time and whether parents were invited.

The last event that was listed that way on the front of the calendar, did involve early parent arrival, and was a month ago.

It's a Christian school, and a time of year when Christians are often celebrating.

They sent you an email, which was a rare occurrence, because they don't usually email, but you didn't open the attachment.

They sent you a flyer.

And none of those things prompted you to think "I wonder what time this event is, and whether I should be there, let me check the app that the school uses as their primary means of communication?"

Clearly OP expected a hand engraved invitation personally handed to her. The flyer in the backpack, email, and app communication simply wasn't enough effort to get her attention. OP needs to get with the program because things are a bit different here than "back home". And it's not the schools problem that your husband doesn't want to be involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

Op here. We wanted it to be more clear that parents should attend. Even on the school calendar, it doesn't specify the program is early/ parents must attend. Other parents from our same origin got mixed up as well. The app has pretty long paragraphs every day and I'm sure some days parents don't read it. Growing up none of us had this much communication coming home every day. All of the days I have checked the app it shares what color they learned about or what letter. It has been important information. His teacher never sends out emails. She actually didn't give our her email address until we asked to send a holiday gift card. Now we know what days we are expected to come early and to check both side of the papers. The calendar had some info about coming early for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it was on the back side! The side we have facing the fridge.

I just wrote you about how your anger is misplaced, but I want to make sure I understand this.

The school sent out a calendar on paper that you put on the fridge, and then forgot there was information on the back. But the information on the front said there was an event, it just didn't include the time and whether parents were invited.

The last event that was listed that way on the front of the calendar, did involve early parent arrival, and was a month ago.

It's a Christian school, and a time of year when Christians are often celebrating.

They sent you an email, which was a rare occurrence, because they don't usually email, but you didn't open the attachment.

They sent you a flyer.

And none of those things prompted you to think "I wonder what time this event is, and whether I should be there, let me check the app that the school uses as their primary means of communication?"

Op here. No, because we aren't Christian, and since the calendar had the time on the back side and the event on the front side it wasn't clear. As I said in my first post-Christmas parties for our eldest son have been done during school hours and parents generally can't attend unless they volunteer. And as I have said several times there were other parents who didn't attend because they didn't know parents are supposed to attend. It sounds like you get pleasure from putting people down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

Op here. We wanted it to be more clear that parents should attend. Even on the school calendar, it doesn't specify the program is early/ parents must attend. Other parents from our same origin got mixed up as well. The app has pretty long paragraphs every day and I'm sure some days parents don't read it. Growing up none of us had this much communication coming home every day. All of the days I have checked the app it shares what color they learned about or what letter. It has been important information. His teacher never sends out emails. She actually didn't give our her email address until we asked to send a holiday gift card. Now we know what days we are expected to come early and to check both side of the papers. The calendar had some info about coming early for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it was on the back side! The side we have facing the fridge.

I just wrote you about how your anger is misplaced, but I want to make sure I understand this.

The school sent out a calendar on paper that you put on the fridge, and then forgot there was information on the back. But the information on the front said there was an event, it just didn't include the time and whether parents were invited.

The last event that was listed that way on the front of the calendar, did involve early parent arrival, and was a month ago.

It's a Christian school, and a time of year when Christians are often celebrating.

They sent you an email, which was a rare occurrence, because they don't usually email, but you didn't open the attachment.

They sent you a flyer.

And none of those things prompted you to think "I wonder what time this event is, and whether I should be there, let me check the app that the school uses as their primary means of communication?"

Op here. No, because we aren't Christian, and since the calendar had the time on the back side and the event on the front side it wasn't clear. As I said in my first post-Christmas parties for our eldest son have been done during school hours and parents generally can't attend unless they volunteer. And as I have said several times there were other parents who didn't attend because they didn't know parents are supposed to attend. It sounds like you get pleasure from putting people down.

Not PP, but it seems you got plenty of information and reminder about this party. We don’t get nearly as much info about school related activities and yet all are aware/participate. I don’t understand how you could be upset at the school. Either way, you now know and have learned to look into the app and one the back of school flyers so this won’t happen again.

If you have an issue with the division of labor in your household, you need to discuss it with your husband.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hear you. They should mark on the calendar if the school is closing early on certain days. It's weird that they didn't.

I have learned that if there is an event where parents are invited we do have to attend because the kids that don't have parents there get really sad.

[Anonymous]

Why would you want to attend a church preschool if you aren't christian? Is it super affordable or something?

[Anonymous]

They called it a program. But you want to keep using the word party. These aren’t the same at all. A program would be performed for the parents which is why they didn’t call it a class party. Why did you assume it was just a party for the kids?

[Anonymous]

OP you sound inflexible and honestly not very smart

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This one’s on you, OP. Pay attention to school notices going forward and stop blaming others.

It's on BOTH OF THE PARENTS, not OP. The kid has two parents.

OP says she is the one who threw away the flyer without reading it, and didn't read the email.

Now, it's possible that her spouse also ignored communications, but a school can't be blamed for being sexist if they sent something home in the backpack and the parent who emptied it was female, or if a family doesn't give a shared email for home/school communication.

I'm also entirely unsure how OP told the difference between singular and plural "you" on the phone.

I'm a teacher. I make an effort to include both parents on communication, but if I've got a kid left behind at the end of the day I have to call someone first, and I'll start with the parent who does pick up.

The plural of you is y’all

OP here. Because she called me and greeted me in the VM with my name. She said Z is alone because you aren't here. She didn't call my husband or mention she would call him in the VM. She also said I was expected to pick him up at 11:30 am, not his parents, not dad, me, me, me. When we are at the gym childcare guess who calls me for diaper changes even when dad is at the gym and dad left his number on the sheet? They call me. Another mom also got it mixed up. Both of us aren't members of the church. I think a lot of the moms are SAHM and most attend the church. They have a mom group at the church. The other mom I spoke to has a similar work schedule. We are both in the medical field and work crazy hours. I wish DH would also keep on on some of the school stuff. Some days like today I am so sleep deprived from work 15 hour days. This morning at 11:30 am I would have rather attended the party. Instead I was answering another call about my older sons IEP and he had an accident at school. The brakes on our car weren't stopping well while I was on the phone with the school. It was scary because we live in a very hilly part of the US. After that call I decided not to take anymore because I wanted to drive super slow back home.

So
Many
Excuses.

Just stop, OP. You’re an adult, not a child. Grow up,

She said they are in the medical field. Buried the lede. In my experience, every school has 1-2 self-important people constantly reminding others that they’re in the medical field as if that is a free pass to not have any of their other sh-t together. My SIL is one of them. One of my DD’s classmates’ parents used her job as an excuse forever and then a kid whose mom was a doctor in the same practice enrolled. The new mom was capable of reading emails and ordering lunches and then the jig was up.

Op here. No one knows. The reason I brought it up is because I work overnights. The notification was also given via the app but unless you open the app everyday you won't see the messages.

The app that notifies about things at school also included information? So they notified three ways?

!

Most of us do want to know what's going on with your young kids. So yes we do open the app (usually way more than one a day! - my daycare has one too).

This is op. When he was in daycare I also looked at the app most days but I haven't been as good. Dh doesn't even have it downloaded!

I don't understand that complaint about the daycare being sexist when the arrangement in your marriage is clearly that you are primary. The daycare notified with all the details in an app that parents are supposed to download and check. The notification went to an account you both have access to, but you are OK with your DH not even downloading. And yet you accuse them of being sexist?

How did you want them to notify? I am completely confused, because it seems like you really want this to be their fault, but the more details that come out the worse you and your DH look.

Op here. We wanted it to be more clear that parents should attend. Even on the school calendar, it doesn't specify the program is early/ parents must attend. Other parents from our same origin got mixed up as well. The app has pretty long paragraphs every day and I'm sure some days parents don't read it. Growing up none of us had this much communication coming home every day. All of the days I have checked the app it shares what color they learned about or what letter. It has been important information. His teacher never sends out emails. She actually didn't give our her email address until we asked to send a holiday gift card. Now we know what days we are expected to come early and to check both side of the papers. The calendar had some info about coming early for Thanksgiving and Christmas but it was on the back side! The side we have facing the fridge.

I just wrote you about how your anger is misplaced, but I want to make sure I understand this.

The school sent out a calendar on paper that you put on the fridge, and then forgot there was information on the back. But the information on the front said there was an event, it just didn't include the time and whether parents were invited.

The last event that was listed that way on the front of the calendar, did involve early parent arrival, and was a month ago.

It's a Christian school, and a time of year when Christians are often celebrating.

They sent you an email, which was a rare occurrence, because they don't usually email, but you didn't open the attachment.

They sent you a flyer.

And none of those things prompted you to think "I wonder what time this event is, and whether I should be there, let me check the app that the school uses as their primary means of communication?"

Op here. No, because we aren't Christian, and since the calendar had the time on the back side and the event on the front side it wasn't clear. As I said in my first post-Christmas parties for our eldest son have been done during school hours and parents generally can't attend unless they volunteer. And as I have said several times there were other parents who didn't attend because they didn't know parents are supposed to attend. It sounds like you get pleasure from putting people down.

Let me get this straight. Only Christians know how to check for information? Non-Christians don’t know how to read emails, apps, flyers, or calendars? Well, that’s news to me!!