Teen girl telling boyfriend no sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying assumption in many posts is that a girls virginity is valuable by itself and she shouldn’t compromise her purity, values or morals by having sex too early. Somehow that argument is never made for the boy.

Sorry, but we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Plenty of teenagers start their sex life in high school and end up as well functioning adults.

That is NOT the same interpretation I came away with from this thread. At all.

This has nothing to do with this girl’s virginity value and everything to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex right now.

But this is not about "right now". She is ruling it out completely until some arbitrary point in time. She has a right to do so, obviously, but it is unusual for a girl who nevertheless wants to have a boyfriend.

I completely disagree. I guess we have different circles, but why is it unusual to enjoy someone's company, but not want to have sex? They are teenagers and sex complicates things.

Even adults who date set an arbitrary point in time to make sure they are comfortable in a relationship before sex. There are plenty of teens in my life with boyfriends/girlfriends who don't want to have sex. Some do, but it's far from unusual to want a boyfriend without sex as a teen.

- then he is not really a boyfriend; he’s just another friend.

Wrong. There can be intimacy without sex that makes the relationship a romantic one.

I recently attended a wedding where both were virgins. According to you, the entire time they were dating and engaged they were just another friend. So sex on their wedding night is the only thing that made it more than friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying assumption in many posts is that a girls virginity is valuable by itself and she shouldn’t compromise her purity, values or morals by having sex too early. Somehow that argument is never made for the boy.

Sorry, but we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Plenty of teenagers start their sex life in high school and end up as well functioning adults.

That is NOT the same interpretation I came away with from this thread. At all.

This has nothing to do with this girl’s virginity value and everything to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex right now.

But this is not about "right now". She is ruling it out completely until some arbitrary point in time. She has a right to do so, obviously, but it is unusual for a girl who nevertheless wants to have a boyfriend.

I completely disagree. I guess we have different circles, but why is it unusual to enjoy someone's company, but not want to have sex? They are teenagers and sex complicates things.

Even adults who date set an arbitrary point in time to make sure they are comfortable in a relationship before sex. There are plenty of teens in my life with boyfriends/girlfriends who don't want to have sex. Some do, but it's far from unusual to want a boyfriend without sex as a teen.

- then he is not really a boyfriend; he’s just another friend.

Wrong. There can be intimacy without sex that makes the relationship a romantic one.

I recently attended a wedding where both were virgins. According to you, the entire time they were dating and engaged they were just another friend. So sex on their wedding night is the only thing that made it more than friends.

No, of course not. But its the "of any kind" that is in question. Obviously people can have romantic feelings and be in a relationship without being fully intimate. But its a valid question of where that line is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why is she not up for sex of any kind? not saying she should do it for the boyfriend. however, i also had a friend who was very attractive but kept avoiding sex and ended up unmarried.

Every time this scenario played out in my high school, the girl who broke up with the boy since she wasn't ready for sex, ended up having sex with the next boyfriend.

so she is just not attracted to her current boyfriend?

You can be attracted and not have sex. I honestly feel sorry for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:why is she not up for sex of any kind? not saying she should do it for the boyfriend. however, i also had a friend who was very attractive but kept avoiding sex and ended up unmarried.

Every time this scenario played out in my high school, the girl who broke up with the boy since she wasn't ready for sex, ended up having sex with the next boyfriend.

so she is just not attracted to her current boyfriend?

You can be attracted and not have sex. I honestly feel sorry for you.

I honestly feel sorry for the people who know her in real life. What a toxic woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The underlying assumption in many posts is that a girls virginity is valuable by itself and she shouldn’t compromise her purity, values or morals by having sex too early. Somehow that argument is never made for the boy.

Sorry, but we’re not living in the 1950s anymore. Plenty of teenagers start their sex life in high school and end up as well functioning adults.

That is NOT the same interpretation I came away with from this thread. At all.

This has nothing to do with this girl’s virginity value and everything to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to have sex right now.

But this is not about "right now". She is ruling it out completely until some arbitrary point in time. She has a right to do so, obviously, but it is unusual for a girl who nevertheless wants to have a boyfriend.

I completely disagree. I guess we have different circles, but why is it unusual to enjoy someone's company, but not want to have sex? They are teenagers and sex complicates things.

Even adults who date set an arbitrary point in time to make sure they are comfortable in a relationship before sex. There are plenty of teens in my life with boyfriends/girlfriends who don't want to have sex. Some do, but it's far from unusual to want a boyfriend without sex as a teen.

- then he is not really a boyfriend; he’s just another friend.

Wrong. There can be intimacy without sex that makes the relationship a romantic one.

I recently attended a wedding where both were virgins. According to you, the entire time they were dating and engaged they were just another friend. So sex on their wedding night is the only thing that made it more than friends.

No, of course not. But its the "of any kind" that is in question. Obviously people can have romantic feelings and be in a relationship without being fully intimate. But its a valid question of where that line is.

Right. But people in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship can define what that means to them, so OP's daughter is smart to discuss it with her BF.