What is fair in this divorce?

[Anonymous]

Half of everything.

[Anonymous]

You each should be entitled to what you came into the marriage with.
Any wealth accumulated during the marriage is split 50/50.
Going forward, personally I don't think alimony from the higher earner is fair, but I can see a court might order it for a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please stop negotiating against yourself. Go pay to consult with a lawyer and find out what you are legally entitled to. Walk into medication with actual legal knowledge — not a bunch of advice from the internet.

Nice Freudian slip!

Not the pp, but as a mediator, "medication" and "meditation" are super annoying spell checks.

[Anonymous]

Not from a legal standpoint, but my opinion from a moral one. Calculate the current value of all your assets. Calculate the value of all his assets at the time you got married. Subtract that value from your current assets. Divide the result by 2. That is the amount you should walk away with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you've been through hell and I personally think what is "fair" is for you to get almost it all - he will be able to replace it quickly and i imagine you spent tremendous time and energy trying to help him and deserve some security in your life when you walk away

but i'd probably accept 1/3 to be done with it. a contentious battle could easily eat up more than that in legal fees.

+1 you need at least 50%. You’ve made enormous non-monetary contributions during this marriage. I’m also divorcing an alcoholic right now. Solidarity.

[Anonymous]

You lost a lot of leverage selling that Vermont lace and I guarantee you he knew it. If you had filed for divorce in VT instead of Maryland or VA, you would have been entitled to half of everything. Kitchen sink state. They don’t separate premarital assets out.

Good for you though for trying to be fair.