Would you move to Singapore with teens/tweens?

[Anonymous]

Also, there's a huge difference between "visiting" a country, and actually doing a recon visit where you have already researched where you might live and where your kids would go to school and you visit THOSE places. I would never ever move an entire family like that, especially with kids those ages, without going to check out where YOU would most likely be living, working and your kids going to school, and meeting people in those places and institutions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from Singapore.

I had my bag searched/xrayed and was put through a metal detector and wander before boarding the subway.

The newspaper had articles that explained how you would be jailed if you so much as wore an article of clothing taking a position on the Hamas, Israel war.

When I left, the pat down at the airport wasn’t messing around. Like, he should have bought me dinner first, you know?

But it’s a safe, multicultural society of course. Just don’t confuse it with being free.

This. Also, make sure none of your kids ends up being gay.

Oh wow. SO MUCH MORE REASON TO VISIT FIRST and check out the actual schools you'd be considering. I had no idea it was THAT oppressive there, that is frightening. Technically probably "very safe", but only for those happy with the status quo/mainstream. I wouldn't make that move, and my daughter speaks Mandarin and though they don't speak it all that much there even though it's 1 of 4 official languages for Singapore, I'd been excited to visit. Now... not so much.

Homosexuality is legal in Singapore. Do your actual homework instead of just believing what people post on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d take them over there on an exploration trip and pull out ALL the stops and get them all the information. We’d tour schools together, see housing options, etc. I would even try to introduce them to some kids their age, ideally other expats, who could tell them what it’s like to live there.

I would paint the most realistic and optimistic picture of what life would look like and give them a taste of it.

If they really wanted to go and the family was all on board, then we’d do it.

This, so much this. This all day and every day.

Unless you and DH have lived in Singapore yourselves (and I hear it's a very cool place from many who travel there), you yourselves have NO IDEA what you'd be moving them into. Do your homework, and then all of you go on a visit to feel it out.

Just cold moving, one day they're here and then they have a new life, with no sense of what you're choosing for your kids... sounds like a horrible idea.

Great. Honestly, that is your next biggest step. Also, you know your kids and their personalities. A move like that would be a non-issue for some kids; a great adventure for some others; and the most traumatic, awful disruption and incredibly painful to adjust to for still more kids. Think about how your kids handle change and then yes, TALK TO THEM and hear their concerns, and consider those too. Take all of that into consideration. I kind of agree with whoever said "If your attitude is "you can handle living there for a few years" you will probably be completely overwhelmed by the move", so go ahead and do ALL your due diligence.

Op here - obviously we would not move without a very clear idea of what we are getting into and all the implications. For everyone. No one is talking about cold moving or not going to spend time there and see what it would be like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from Singapore.

I had my bag searched/xrayed and was put through a metal detector and wander before boarding the subway.

The newspaper had articles that explained how you would be jailed if you so much as wore an article of clothing taking a position on the Hamas, Israel war.

When I left, the pat down at the airport wasn’t messing around. Like, he should have bought me dinner first, you know?

But it’s a safe, multicultural society of course. Just don’t confuse it with being free.

This. Also, make sure none of your kids ends up being gay.

Oh wow. SO MUCH MORE REASON TO VISIT FIRST and check out the actual schools you'd be considering. I had no idea it was THAT oppressive there, that is frightening. Technically probably "very safe", but only for those happy with the status quo/mainstream. I wouldn't make that move, and my daughter speaks Mandarin and though they don't speak it all that much there even though it's 1 of 4 official languages for Singapore, I'd been excited to visit. Now... not so much.

Homosexuality is legal in Singapore. Do your actual homework instead of just believing what people post on the internet.

My reaction was actually to the poster just back from Singapore saying it's ILLEGAL to wear or publicly talk about opinions on the Isreal/Palestine war. But yes that quote about not being gay was what showed up as the most recent post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d take them over there on an exploration trip and pull out ALL the stops and get them all the information. We’d tour schools together, see housing options, etc. I would even try to introduce them to some kids their age, ideally other expats, who could tell them what it’s like to live there.

I would paint the most realistic and optimistic picture of what life would look like and give them a taste of it.

If they really wanted to go and the family was all on board, then we’d do it.

This, so much this. This all day and every day.

Unless you and DH have lived in Singapore yourselves (and I hear it's a very cool place from many who travel there), you yourselves have NO IDEA what you'd be moving them into. Do your homework, and then all of you go on a visit to feel it out.

Just cold moving, one day they're here and then they have a new life, with no sense of what you're choosing for your kids... sounds like a horrible idea.

Great. Honestly, that is your next biggest step. Also, you know your kids and their personalities. A move like that would be a non-issue for some kids; a great adventure for some others; and the most traumatic, awful disruption and incredibly painful to adjust to for still more kids. Think about how your kids handle change and then yes, TALK TO THEM and hear their concerns, and consider those too. Take all of that into consideration. I kind of agree with whoever said "If your attitude is "you can handle living there for a few years" you will probably be completely overwhelmed by the move", so go ahead and do ALL your due diligence.

Op here - obviously we would not move without a very clear idea of what we are getting into and all the implications. For everyone. No one is talking about cold moving or not going to spend time there and see what it would be like.

By “we could handle living there” what was meant is I could actually envision us living there as opposed to other places we have traveled where I could not see returning even for another visit let alone living. I think you’re reading way too much into that one sentence and not understanding my meaning.
We are an adventurous family. My kids are great travelers and have always loved to explore new parts of the world. Living in a place like Singapore would allow for a lot more travel through a part of the world that is currently pretty hard for us to access living in the east of the US. We have considered moving in the past (though those moves were to Europe or the west coast) but those didn’t work out for reasons related to dh’s job. We have all expressed interested in living in other countries at some point (and dh and I both lived abroad separately in our 20s).
We have introduced the possibility to all our kids. They had mixed reactions from crying to disbelief to excitement. We are still talking about it and dh is speaking with his work to get more details about what it would entail and what the benefits/risks would be professionally. If it seems like it would be worth it for him and his job then we will take a more serious look into what it would mean for everyone - including a trip to check out schools and neighborhoods.
The kids all loved it when we visited - they loved most of the places in SE Asia where we went but interestingly just a few days before this possibility came up they’d been talking about how they wanted to go back to SG.

Posing the question here was really to help me crowdsource a bit about things related to our eldest that I might not have considered- especially regarding finishing hs and starting college. Obviously such a move will dramatically affect us all but it would have the biggest impact on her finishing high school in another country with a different school system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from Singapore.

I had my bag searched/xrayed and was put through a metal detector and wander before boarding the subway.

The newspaper had articles that explained how you would be jailed if you so much as wore an article of clothing taking a position on the Hamas, Israel war.

When I left, the pat down at the airport wasn’t messing around. Like, he should have bought me dinner first, you know?

But it’s a safe, multicultural society of course. Just don’t confuse it with being free.

This. Also, make sure none of your kids ends up being gay.

Oh wow. SO MUCH MORE REASON TO VISIT FIRST and check out the actual schools you'd be considering. I had no idea it was THAT oppressive there, that is frightening. Technically probably "very safe", but only for those happy with the status quo/mainstream. I wouldn't make that move, and my daughter speaks Mandarin and though they don't speak it all that much there even though it's 1 of 4 official languages for Singapore, I'd been excited to visit. Now... not so much.

Homosexuality is legal in Singapore. Do your actual homework instead of just believing what people post on the internet.

My reaction was actually to the poster just back from Singapore saying it's ILLEGAL to wear or publicly talk about opinions on the Isreal/Palestine war. But yes that quote about not being gay was what showed up as the most recent post.

Ahh, ok. That makes more sense, although again I’m not sure it’s really true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just got back from Singapore.

I had my bag searched/xrayed and was put through a metal detector and wander before boarding the subway.

The newspaper had articles that explained how you would be jailed if you so much as wore an article of clothing taking a position on the Hamas, Israel war.

When I left, the pat down at the airport wasn’t messing around. Like, he should have bought me dinner first, you know?

But it’s a safe, multicultural society of course. Just don’t confuse it with being free.

This. Also, make sure none of your kids ends up being gay.

Oh wow. SO MUCH MORE REASON TO VISIT FIRST and check out the actual schools you'd be considering. I had no idea it was THAT oppressive there, that is frightening. Technically probably "very safe", but only for those happy with the status quo/mainstream. I wouldn't make that move, and my daughter speaks Mandarin and though they don't speak it all that much there even though it's 1 of 4 official languages for Singapore, I'd been excited to visit. Now... not so much.

Homosexuality is legal in Singapore. Do your actual homework instead of just believing what people post on the internet.

My reaction was actually to the poster just back from Singapore saying it's ILLEGAL to wear or publicly talk about opinions on the Isreal/Palestine war. But yes that quote about not being gay was what showed up as the most recent post.

Ahh, ok. That makes more sense, although again I’m not sure it’s really true.

I live in Singapore. It’s true, but there is more nuance to the issue. As a foreign national it is easy to be deported so you don’t engage on these topics. We are very close to Indonesia (most populous Muslim country) and there are real concerns about radicalization which Singapore takes seriously.

https://thediplomat.com/2023/11/singapore-restricts-display-of-national-emblems-relating-to-israel-hamas-war/

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/israel-hamas-war-speakers-corner-anti-semitist-muslim-police-3899776

https://www.channelnewsasia.com/singapore/motion-israel-hamas-war-pass-parliament-longer-term-aid-palestinians-3902076

If you are thinking about moving here, it is good to learn about the history of the region.

And your kids could stay in the American school system and calendar. But you likely wouldn’t be able to work.