Would you move to Singapore with teens/tweens?
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Anonymous
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We have 3 kids, ages 14, 11 & 9, in 9th, 6th and 4th grades. Dh is being asked to start an office for his company in Singapore and we are considering moving our family there for 2-4 years. Obviously we know this would have a huge impact on our kids and especially our eldest, and we are worried that it could be a huge mistake - but it also could be an amazing opportunity for us all.
Has anyone done something similar (not necessarily Singapore, the location isn’t really important), but the moving older kids during hs. We could potentially move dd for a year and then have her return to the states and live with her grandmother for junior/senior year of hs if that is important. |
Anonymous
| No, not at those ages as school would be terrible for the older two. And, had no to living with grandma. With little kids, sure. |
Anonymous
| Those ages, probably not unless the older two wanted to. |
Anonymous
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I’d take them over there on an exploration trip and pull out ALL the stops and get them all the information. We’d tour schools together, see housing options, etc. I would even try to introduce them to some kids their age, ideally other expats, who could tell them what it’s like to live there.
I would paint the most realistic and optimistic picture of what life would look like and give them a taste of it. If they really wanted to go and the family was all on board, then we’d do it. |
Anonymous
| Do you really love hot weather? |
Anonymous
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I did it. Best thing we ever did.
If the HS kid won’t complete HS there, you do need a plan for them to be either in an American curriculum while in the new country or in an IB, which they can then complete when they get back to the states. Your good planning will limit that disruption. OR if you have them in an internationals school that does boarding, your DH can negotiate for their education to be paid through graduation while you guys move back to the states after two years. That probably sounds crazy, but in the International Community, it happens all the time. There are lots of options, and if the company wants him to go, he has leverage to negotiate what he wants. DH and you need to research, try to talk to other expats in Singapore and come up with a game plan. Overall, I will say, you and your kids have to be in on the adventure, or this could blow up for your family, your marriage, and your DH’s assignment. -signed someone who has seen some Expat families be wildly successful, and other expat families who can’t hack it and go back home after 13 months |
Anonymous
| Yes, I would absolutely do it. |
Anonymous
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I just got back from Singapore.
I had my bag searched/xrayed and was put through a metal detector and wander before boarding the subway. The newspaper had articles that explained how you would be jailed if you so much as wore an article of clothing taking a position on the Hamas, Israel war. When I left, the pat down at the airport wasn’t messing around. Like, he should have bought me dinner first, you know? But it’s a safe, multicultural society of course. Just don’t confuse it with being free. |
Anonymous
What if any job or health issue happens and you've to come back earlier than planned. You'll he uprooting kids twice. It can be done but be ready for pros and cons. |
Anonymous
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Yes, absolutely. Have the kids attend an international school. The oldest will have much better college options as a student from a good IB program in SG than here.
The youngest should be just fine too with a potential reentry to the US in time for high school. International schools there are also used to people moving in and out a lot so adjusting to a new school is potentially easier. For the middle one, re-entry timing is the trickiest IMO, but you could always apply to one of the UWC programs anywhere in the world and have them do junior and senior year in an IB program as well. Again, college options from those programs are fantastic. |
Anonymous
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I would do it in a heartbeat. There are plenty of international schools there, and some of the best in the world. Your kids will go to school with a pretty diverse set of kids. Singapore is safe, you have access to so many countries with Singapore as a base, and the food is excellent.
At the very least, give it a fair shake. Go there and explore the country before you commit one way or the other. |
Anonymous
| Absolutely strongly consider it. This is assuming you can afford to send your kids to a good, private international or American school. |
Anonymous
| College options would be fantastic for high schooler. Ones who'll come back earlier, they won't benefit tge same. |
Anonymous
| No judgment with the ask, but are you SAHM? Just wondering how your job factors in if working outside home. Or maybe if working you can do remote and different time zones? |
Anonymous
No, I work but my job is extremely flexible and I already wfh. The time difference would be a little tricky and I’d probably have to return to the US every couple of months for meetings but I could make it work. I expect the kids and I would probably spend most of the summer in the US but I’m not sure what the school calendar is exactly. We have visited Singapore (earlier this year) and I think we could handle living there for a few years (which is why I said the location matters less than the whole idea of living abroad for several years at this point with our family). Dh needs to get a lot more details and we will then discuss with the kids. I think the younger two would definitely be on board with it, even though they love their school and friends. Oldest might have the hardest time but she is also the type of kid who would see the benefits of it. Kids are in private school now so we’d also have to figure out how to take them out for a period and hope they could return in a few years. |