People who can barely afford private should skip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many people who pop into the forum for private schools to campaign for public school. I spend a lot of money on education and it's where I choose to spend my money. My kids are happy and love school. That wasn't the case when we were in public, even though the school was highly rated on "Great Schools". The campus wasn't secure, there were kids throwing pencils and other stuff around the class, and one teacher had almost 30 first graders.

Do some people love public school? I'm sure. But it wasn't my jam and the money I spend makes the lives of my kids - and frankly my own life - much happier. If your kid loves public and the education is working for your family - I love that for you. If someone wants to live paycheck to paycheck to pay for private school - I am going to assume there is a really valid reason for that family.

And since we're all anonymous here, we can go deeper in that psyche and realize that this doesn't really make sense.

Why do you care? Wierd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There are so many people who pop into the forum for private schools to campaign for public school. I spend a lot of money on education and it's where I choose to spend my money. My kids are happy and love school. That wasn't the case when we were in public, even though the school was highly rated on "Great Schools". The campus wasn't secure, there were kids throwing pencils and other stuff around the class, and one teacher had almost 30 first graders.

Do some people love public school? I'm sure. But it wasn't my jam and the money I spend makes the lives of my kids - and frankly my own life - much happier. If your kid loves public and the education is working for your family - I love that for you. If someone wants to live paycheck to paycheck to pay for private school - I am going to assume there is a really valid reason for that family.

And since we're all anonymous here, we can go deeper in that psyche and realize that this doesn't really make sense.

And the beauty of it is that it doesn't have to make sense for you. It isn't your money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You keep describing your current school as this wonderful, nurturing environment...which unless everyone else is lying, is absolutely not how it will be once they hit HS. Big3 is not whole-child nurturing at HS.

It is odd that you are sending your kid to a school where HS will be every bit as stressful as an Ivy school...so they should be absolutely fully prepared to handle that environment. They Ivy school should not be stressful to them...your Big3 school is preparing them for that exact environment.

PP said: "The stress doesn't come until HS, maybe a tiny bit in MS." These schools are absolutely whole-child nuturing up in lower school, and to some extent in middle school too.

I hear what you are saying, but it is a 180-degree turn come HS. Maybe that is by design...if they did the 180-degree turn in 6th grade, then more people would say I can't sign up for 7 years of this. However, once you are in HS...you are kind of beholden.

I am just trying to reconcile the cognitive disconnect. Why discourage your kid from an Ivy school when they are now in one of the best positions to capitalize on that Ivy school due to their HS training? That is all.

Because Ivy is not the end goal for many people. Believe it or not most private school families come for the education. That doesn't mean path to ivy; it means a well rounded education. It's hard for "ivy or bust" mentalities to understand, but it's the truth. Many of these families stay through HS because of the community and relationships, which is part of the whe child development (social and emotional). It's not just the academics. To OPs point, if it's JUST academic for you, hire tutors, you might be disappointed with the result otherwise.

No, PP was saying they don’t want Ivy due to the stress of an Ivy…not any of the stuff you list above.

You're so funny. It stated that yes, the stress of ivy blah, blah blah... this post is about why stay in Big 3 if HS is also stressful. The posts are not mutually exclusive.

[Anonymous]

I could sort of understand what the OP is saying, you should live within your means.

The thing is, the situation changed within this 10 years with our local public school. Elementary was fine, had a nice small group of family friends. Never imagined choosing an independent school, but by end of MS just lost hope and trust with the way the public school is going. We live at a place known as an ok school 10 years ago, now became a place to “avoid”.

My DS says the MS is chaotic, low moral and doesn’t feel safe. Not enough spots for ES/MS enrichment so not even wishing to get in anymore. For high school, people who could get into other HS with special programs will try to get out of our zoned HS, and others will go private sacrificing their college savings.

[Anonymous]

I worked in a college admissions office before going to grad school, and I think that a good private school is totally worth it for anyone who can afford it, simply for the admissions boost. It provides a *huge* advantage in the process. The quality of the school plays a big role in the admissions calculation, so that gives private school students a big advantage. The good private schools often have far more AP classes, which also provide a huge boost.

And that's just the admissions benefits. You also have a point of contact throughout middle school and high school to deal with issues like bullying, mental health, etc., that you simply do not have in public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I worked in a college admissions office before going to grad school, and I think that a good private school is totally worth it for anyone who can afford it, simply for the admissions boost. It provides a *huge* advantage in the process. The quality of the school plays a big role in the admissions calculation, so that gives private school students a big advantage. The good private schools often have far more AP classes, which also provide a huge boost.

What's your response to this thread?
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1116100.page

[Anonymous]

I'm a public school teacher and a single parent so it was a stretch for me. I did get good FA but it was still a lot. It was worth every penny and more. I worked two and sometimes three jobs to pay for it and I'd do it again. My DS is now in college and I know I made the right choice. Public education has gone downhill big time. The expectations are pathetically low. No thanks. My kid can do much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

We have a seven figure income and can afford private. We just switched one kid to private and there are definite positives but I am not sure if it is worth the extra commute and all the complaining from my son about wearing a tie everyday. Tuition is a non factor for us.

We live in a well regarded public. I don’t think private would give my kid a college admissions boost. He isn’t ivy material and he should be able to get into the same colleges from public.

You are unusually self-aware for this forum! I have 3 in private. They are all straight A students and I actively discourage ivy schools for them. They can achieve their goals with a solid public state school. I think the pressure in the Ivies will do more harm than good for them. They are naturally tightly wound and a bit anxious. I'm definitely in the minority at Big 3..

What? It’s not like state schools are completely low stress compared to Ivies. I was pre med at UVA and there is plenty of competition and striver types there too.

Yes, my children are those types and will be there too. My point is the environment and entire population as a whole is not pressure cooker and competition - ivies are by nature. There is plenty of respite when it's needed at publics; this is healthy too. Even applying to college from Big 3, like we are doing, is pressured top to bottom of the class....not the case with publics.

This is very sensible. My child is at an Ivy and while he likes it, he gets tired of the intensity and stress that seems to envelop all the students. He says he now understands the appeal of large public schools like UVA and Michigan - more fun in many ways

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

We have a seven figure income and can afford private. We just switched one kid to private and there are definite positives but I am not sure if it is worth the extra commute and all the complaining from my son about wearing a tie everyday. Tuition is a non factor for us.

We live in a well regarded public. I don’t think private would give my kid a college admissions boost. He isn’t ivy material and he should be able to get into the same colleges from public.

You are unusually self-aware for this forum! I have 3 in private. They are all straight A students and I actively discourage ivy schools for them. They can achieve their goals with a solid public state school. I think the pressure in the Ivies will do more harm than good for them. They are naturally tightly wound and a bit anxious. I'm definitely in the minority at Big 3..

What? It’s not like state schools are completely low stress compared to Ivies. I was pre med at UVA and there is plenty of competition and striver types there too.

Yes, my children are those types and will be there too. My point is the environment and entire population as a whole is not pressure cooker and competition - ivies are by nature. There is plenty of respite when it's needed at publics; this is healthy too. Even applying to college from Big 3, like we are doing, is pressured top to bottom of the class....not the case with publics.

This is very sensible. My child is at an Ivy and while he likes it, he gets tired of the intensity and stress that seems to envelop all the students. He says he now understands the appeal of large public schools like UVA and Michigan - more fun in many ways

The grass is always greener…but kids at large publics like UVA and Michigan in competitive majors (e.g., business) seem very stressed. Just feels like there is more competition.

[Anonymous]

Yes, they should.

But so many people make poor financial choices. This is just one of many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

I agree with this. The unspoken truth is that a lot of kids in these schools have private tutors to get an edge, have legacy to depend on for college admissions, etc. It's only worth it for truly wealthy families and scholarship kids who go on a full ride.

My personal advice for upper-middle class families that struggle for the tuition, is just to send your kid to public and pay for tutors in every subject. It will be much cheaper per year, and your kid will likely learn more from 1-on-1 tutoring vs private School. Bloom's two-sigma study shows that 1-on-1 tutoring is extremely effective.

Instead of paying $50k in tuition, you could spend half of that for an elite college admissions private consultant. They would make your kid 10x better applicant than anyone coming from a public school, and give you the inside track to a top college.

We have a seven figure income and can afford private. We just switched one kid to private and there are definite positives but I am not sure if it is worth the extra commute and all the complaining from my son about wearing a tie everyday. Tuition is a non factor for us.

We live in a well regarded public. I don’t think private would give my kid a college admissions boost. He isn’t ivy material and he should be able to get into the same colleges from public.

You are unusually self-aware for this forum! I have 3 in private. They are all straight A students and I actively discourage ivy schools for them. They can achieve their goals with a solid public state school. I think the pressure in the Ivies will do more harm than good for them. They are naturally tightly wound and a bit anxious. I'm definitely in the minority at Big 3..

What? It’s not like state schools are completely low stress compared to Ivies. I was pre med at UVA and there is plenty of competition and striver types there too.

Yes, my children are those types and will be there too. My point is the environment and entire population as a whole is not pressure cooker and competition - ivies are by nature. There is plenty of respite when it's needed at publics; this is healthy too. Even applying to college from Big 3, like we are doing, is pressured top to bottom of the class....not the case with publics.

This is very sensible. My child is at an Ivy and while he likes it, he gets tired of the intensity and stress that seems to envelop all the students. He says he now understands the appeal of large public schools like UVA and Michigan - more fun in many ways

The grass is always greener…but kids at large publics like UVA and Michigan in competitive majors (e.g., business) seem very stressed. Just feels like there is more competition.

DP
Many kids run high on the stress hormones wherever they are. Sometimes a good state school is just the ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our choices are private, terrible schools, or a long commute. We can barely afford private but our kid is getting a wonderful education (one that blows mine at an “top” public school out of the water) and we’re not spending hours in our cars every day.

This is what works for us. I don’t know why our choices bug other people, but they certainly seem to.

If you didn't try the schools how do you know they are terrible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our choices are private, terrible schools, or a long commute. We can barely afford private but our kid is getting a wonderful education (one that blows mine at an “top” public school out of the water) and we’re not spending hours in our cars every day.

This is what works for us. I don’t know why our choices bug other people, but they certainly seem to.

If you didn't try the schools how do you know they are terrible?

Well, for starters, a teacher got arrested for punching an elementary school student. And my friend with a kid there vividly recounted his chaotic experience (kid is no longer there). That good enough for ya? It was good enough for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could sort of understand what the OP is saying, you should live within your means.

The thing is, the situation changed within this 10 years with our local public school. Elementary was fine, had a nice small group of family friends. Never imagined choosing an independent school, but by end of MS just lost hope and trust with the way the public school is going. We live at a place known as an ok school 10 years ago, now became a place to “avoid”.

My DS says the MS is chaotic, low moral and doesn’t feel safe. Not enough spots for ES/MS enrichment so not even wishing to get in anymore. For high school, people who could get into other HS with special programs will try to get out of our zoned HS, and others will go private sacrificing their college savings.

+1 This sums up our experience as well, although we are earlier in the process. Classrooms are chaotic, low expectations, trust in public school is really low. We noticed alot of our neighbors move around MS but that’s not an option for us.

We had no intention of doing private school and love so many things about our public school, but it’s not a good scene and is getting worse as my kids get into older grades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is SO much teeth-gnashing on this board about if it’s “worth it.” It’s honestly only worth it if it isn’t a major sacrifice for you. If you’re entering the application process already stressed about what you’re going to get for the money, and especially if what you want to “get” is anything more than a solid education for your child, you’re going to end up disappointed.

awwww puddy doesn't want her special prince (VI of course) being around kids who cannot afford private