WFH and taking advantage? (Children)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

Millennial parent here. 4 months is on the high side (although great!) but I know dads who have taken 2-3 months paid. I work in an industry that is forward-leaning on paid leave. In addition, feds get 12 weeks paid so that's about 3 months.

That’s not normal. My husband got a few days.

Your anecdote doesn’t define normal anymore than PPs does. To add to our growing DCUM dataset my husband got 6 weeks paid while I (the birth parent) got 0 days paid. I had to use my PTO to cover FMLA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100 percent with the OP. It’s not possible or fair either to your children or your employer. One or the other is getting the shaft - probably both.

WFH is a scam.

Wfh is not a scam at all. Some people abuse it, others don't. I have 3 kids, one is 9 months. We have a full time nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I know zero parents who WFH without childcare. Zero. Even parents of older kids (10+) have childcare. If one of their kids is home while they’re working, it 100% was not intentional.

Most parents of kids ages 2+ don’t want their kids home. They want socialization and enrichment. I would feel guilty as heck keeping my kids home all day so I could ignore them and sit on my computer, just to save $.

In the summers, I pay more than I earn to put my 3 kids in high quality camps. They love it and it makes me feel good knowing they’re having fun with friends and learning new things while I’m working.

Strange. We have an older kid and never paid for child care. Your issue is three kids. Much easier with fewer kids.

How did you get free childcare just because you had one kid? I had an only for 6 years and I paid through the nose including $2500+/mo infant daycare.

I agree there’s something strange here but it’s not PP.

Let's see, we had a SAHP for the early years as child care was more than their take home after expenses. Then, another parent was a WAHP which is the discussion. Once kids are middle school they don't need constant care.

LOL this is so misleading and irrelevant to this discussion. "We never paid for childcare!" No, you had a SAHP. Sit down.

She was just desperate to jump in and judge anyone with multiple kids. Pathetic.

Loll +1. yeah that was laughably bad

[Anonymous]

I don’t know anyone who does not have regular childcare at my fully remote workplace. Everyone has something whether it’s SAHP, au pair, nanny, daycare, preschool, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I have young kids and I agree OP. My kids are in full day camps, extended care after school. I have babysitters, use camps, or use PTO on snow days and planned school closure days. I’m still saving money WFH because we don’t need before school care to have time to commute. Both of my kids were born prior to the pandemic, but not school age during the pandemic. We lived through daycare closures,
preschools only open until 3:30pm, and Covid exposure quarantines - but those days are largely over.

I understood kids being home in 2020-2021, but now there is no reason to have a child home during working hours unless it’s an occasional sick day or another caregiver is supervising them.

There is a micro generation of parents whose kids are currently three and under, and who never had to find daycare. While you and I understand that working with kids at home was unusual, for those parents, sending their children to daycare would be unusual.

This isn’t a defense of the failure to attend to child care, just an explanation. I can understand why parents of very young kids would think what they did up to now will work forever.

I also suspect that some employers don’t appreciate that they can only afford their current workforce if that workforce does not have to pay for childcare. Obviously inflation and childcare costs have outpaced salary increases. That’s fine as long as employers don’t require workers to get full-time childcare. But if they plan to require that, their cost of labor is going to go up.

I have a preschooler (and therefore only experienced childcare post-pandemic) and this is just not accurate. All the working moms of my kid's age have had to find childcare. We have had more hardship with childcare being *closed* or quarantines being enforced, but we have always had to have daycare or a nanny.

If you can afford a nanny (clearly that’s what you mean since as you point out you’re talking about a period of time when daycares were closed) you are in a rarified sphere. The rich exception, not the rule.

I took some time off as a SAHM in the worst of the pandemic and then did daycare. I meant "we" referring to moms in my cohort with kids born around COVID. I am thoroughly middle-class by DCUM standards. Not rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “take advantage” myth again?

Look, remote work is here permanently. It’s not changing. Deal with it. The way we work has shifted for good.

It’s changing alright. We’re seeing less and less of it.

For some strange reason it’s like you desperately want this to be true. But it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

Millennial parent here. 4 months is on the high side (although great!) but I know dads who have taken 2-3 months paid. I work in an industry that is forward-leaning on paid leave. In addition, feds get 12 weeks paid so that's about 3 months.

That’s not normal. My husband got a few days.

Your anecdote doesn’t define normal anymore than PPs does. To add to our growing DCUM dataset my husband got 6 weeks paid while I (the birth parent) got 0 days paid. I had to use my PTO to cover FMLA.

My husband got ten weeks. I got four months. Adding to the dataset.

[Anonymous]

If only safe reliable childcare were readily available 12 months/year at a cost we could afford…. I think it is the only thing I prefer about Sweden, which has this…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If only safe reliable childcare were readily available 12 months/year at a cost we could afford…. I think it is the only thing I prefer about Sweden, which has this…

The thing is, employers control if their workers can control it or not. If you’re not paying enough for your workforce to have reliable year round childcare, you’re not going to get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My employer requires childcare for kids. I think it's perfectly reasonable, and pay for it.

There is the occasional instance where a kid will be home sick (fever, vomiting etc) and I'll take leave, but I have ONE meeting with one or more people who are super busy and I know it will take months to reschedule...in those circumstances, I try to get the kid to sleep or quietly watching TV so I can call in. I do explain the situation if there's an interruption, but sometimes canceling is the worse option.

That’s how it is at my work, too. My kids are older (middle/high school), but the only times I’ve seen my co-workers babies and toddlers since daycares and preschools reopened have been the occasional times when they were home sick and someone had to hold a sleeping baby on a zoom call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

Millennial parent here. 4 months is on the high side (although great!) but I know dads who have taken 2-3 months paid. I work in an industry that is forward-leaning on paid leave. In addition, feds get 12 weeks paid so that's about 3 months.

That’s not normal. My husband got a few days.

Your anecdote doesn’t define normal anymore than PPs does. To add to our growing DCUM dataset my husband got 6 weeks paid while I (the birth parent) got 0 days paid. I had to use my PTO to cover FMLA.

At least you had PTO, we had to do LWOP as it was a new job for my husband. It is what it is. I took a few months as I saved my leave for 10 years prior to being a parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have young kids and I agree OP. My kids are in full day camps, extended care after school. I have babysitters, use camps, or use PTO on snow days and planned school closure days. I’m still saving money WFH because we don’t need before school care to have time to commute. Both of my kids were born prior to the pandemic, but not school age during the pandemic. We lived through daycare closures,
preschools only open until 3:30pm, and Covid exposure quarantines - but those days are largely over.

I understood kids being home in 2020-2021, but now there is no reason to have a child home during working hours unless it’s an occasional sick day or another caregiver is supervising them.

There is a micro generation of parents whose kids are currently three and under, and who never had to find daycare. While you and I understand that working with kids at home was unusual, for those parents, sending their children to daycare would be unusual.

This isn’t a defense of the failure to attend to child care, just an explanation. I can understand why parents of very young kids would think what they did up to now will work forever.

I also suspect that some employers don’t appreciate that they can only afford their current workforce if that workforce does not have to pay for childcare. Obviously inflation and childcare costs have outpaced salary increases. That’s fine as long as employers don’t require workers to get full-time childcare. But if they plan to require that, their cost of labor is going to go up.

I have a preschooler (and therefore only experienced childcare post-pandemic) and this is just not accurate. All the working moms of my kid's age have had to find childcare. We have had more hardship with childcare being *closed* or quarantines being enforced, but we have always had to have daycare or a nanny.

If you can afford a nanny (clearly that’s what you mean since as you point out you’re talking about a period of time when daycares were closed) you are in a rarified sphere. The rich exception, not the rule.

I took some time off as a SAHM in the worst of the pandemic and then did daycare. I meant "we" referring to moms in my cohort with kids born around COVID. I am thoroughly middle-class by DCUM standards. Not rich.

I hardly doubt you are middle class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

That's sad. I know plenty of dad's who took at least a couple months off.

[Anonymous]

OP you are totally right. You can't watch your kids and WFH and give your full attention to your work OR your kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are totally right. You can't watch your kids and WFH and give your full attention to your work OR your kids.

Which is why no one in the real world does it unless they don’t have enough sick leave/PTO to cover their own sick time plus their kids’ sick time plus all the random school/daycare closures.