WFH and taking advantage? (Children)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know zero parents who WFH without childcare. Zero. Even parents of older kids (10+) have childcare. If one of their kids is home while they’re working, it 100% was not intentional.

Most parents of kids ages 2+ don’t want their kids home. They want socialization and enrichment. I would feel guilty as heck keeping my kids home all day so I could ignore them and sit on my computer, just to save $.

In the summers, I pay more than I earn to put my 3 kids in high quality camps. They love it and it makes me feel good knowing they’re having fun with friends and learning new things while I’m working.

Strange. We have an older kid and never paid for child care. Your issue is three kids. Much easier with fewer kids.

How did you get free childcare just because you had one kid? I had an only for 6 years and I paid through the nose including $2500+/mo infant daycare.

I agree there’s something strange here but it’s not PP.

[Anonymous]

I work fully remote in a low stress job and I have no interest in trying to juggle toddler childcare at the same time. I can either focus on my work and ignore my kid, or focus on my kid and half-ass my work. I truly don't understand how people are managing without going insane. Maybe some people just have easier kids?? My kid plays independently just fine, but you better believe that if I sit at my computer and start typing, he will want to "help."

[Anonymous]

Agree with others that not having childcare now is not a thing. I have not seen/heard of anyone in my professional or social circles who does not have their kids in some sort of camp/school/daycare. COVID taught us how hard it is to work when your child is home and i don't know a single parent who wants to relive that experience. Not saying it doesn't happen, but OP this is not a common thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “take advantage” myth again?

Look, remote work is here permanently. It’s not changing. Deal with it. The way we work has shifted for good.

No one said remote work isn’t here to stay. No one is protesting that. But to work remotely, you must have child care. Obviously. It’s in every remote work contract I’ve ever seen, with the exception of during the height of the pandemic.

Well, sure. The title words “taking advantage” insinuates (without evidence) that not having it is widespread, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know zero parents who WFH without childcare. Zero. Even parents of older kids (10+) have childcare. If one of their kids is home while they’re working, it 100% was not intentional.

Most parents of kids ages 2+ don’t want their kids home. They want socialization and enrichment. I would feel guilty as heck keeping my kids home all day so I could ignore them and sit on my computer, just to save $.

In the summers, I pay more than I earn to put my 3 kids in high quality camps. They love it and it makes me feel good knowing they’re having fun with friends and learning new things while I’m working.

Strange. We have an older kid and never paid for child care. Your issue is three kids. Much easier with fewer kids.

How did you get free childcare just because you had one kid? I had an only for 6 years and I paid through the nose including $2500+/mo infant daycare.

I agree there’s something strange here but it’s not PP.

Let's see, we had a SAHP for the early years as child care was more than their take home after expenses. Then, another parent was a WAHP which is the discussion. Once kids are middle school they don't need constant care.

[Anonymous]

DH and I both mostly WFH and we have a full time nanny and the kids go to schools or camps. No way either of us can do our job effectively without childcare. People who don't get help but are commanding high salaries are annoying - we both have them in our firms and partners talk about them and dislike the situation, but I don't know yet where it leads. They don't get promoted? Not sure they care. If they did they would have childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know zero parents who WFH without childcare. Zero. Even parents of older kids (10+) have childcare. If one of their kids is home while they’re working, it 100% was not intentional.

Most parents of kids ages 2+ don’t want their kids home. They want socialization and enrichment. I would feel guilty as heck keeping my kids home all day so I could ignore them and sit on my computer, just to save $.

In the summers, I pay more than I earn to put my 3 kids in high quality camps. They love it and it makes me feel good knowing they’re having fun with friends and learning new things while I’m working.

Strange. We have an older kid and never paid for child care. Your issue is three kids. Much easier with fewer kids.

How did you get free childcare just because you had one kid? I had an only for 6 years and I paid through the nose including $2500+/mo infant daycare.

I agree there’s something strange here but it’s not PP.

Let's see, we had a SAHP for the early years as child care was more than their take home after expenses. Then, another parent was a WAHP which is the discussion. Once kids are middle school they don't need constant care.

LOL this is so misleading and irrelevant to this discussion. "We never paid for childcare!" No, you had a SAHP. Sit down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know zero parents who WFH without childcare. Zero. Even parents of older kids (10+) have childcare. If one of their kids is home while they’re working, it 100% was not intentional.

Most parents of kids ages 2+ don’t want their kids home. They want socialization and enrichment. I would feel guilty as heck keeping my kids home all day so I could ignore them and sit on my computer, just to save $.

In the summers, I pay more than I earn to put my 3 kids in high quality camps. They love it and it makes me feel good knowing they’re having fun with friends and learning new things while I’m working.

Strange. We have an older kid and never paid for child care. Your issue is three kids. Much easier with fewer kids.

How did you get free childcare just because you had one kid? I had an only for 6 years and I paid through the nose including $2500+/mo infant daycare.

I agree there’s something strange here but it’s not PP.

Let's see, we had a SAHP for the early years as child care was more than their take home after expenses. Then, another parent was a WAHP which is the discussion. Once kids are middle school they don't need constant care.

A parent dropping out of the workforce isn’t free childcare. It’s incredibly expensive childcare for most educated moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The “take advantage” myth again?

Look, remote work is here permanently. It’s not changing. Deal with it. The way we work has shifted for good.

It’s changing alright. We’re seeing less and less of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know zero parents who WFH without childcare. Zero. Even parents of older kids (10+) have childcare. If one of their kids is home while they’re working, it 100% was not intentional.

Most parents of kids ages 2+ don’t want their kids home. They want socialization and enrichment. I would feel guilty as heck keeping my kids home all day so I could ignore them and sit on my computer, just to save $.

In the summers, I pay more than I earn to put my 3 kids in high quality camps. They love it and it makes me feel good knowing they’re having fun with friends and learning new things while I’m working.

Strange. We have an older kid and never paid for child care. Your issue is three kids. Much easier with fewer kids.

How did you get free childcare just because you had one kid? I had an only for 6 years and I paid through the nose including $2500+/mo infant daycare.

I agree there’s something strange here but it’s not PP.

Let's see, we had a SAHP for the early years as child care was more than their take home after expenses. Then, another parent was a WAHP which is the discussion. Once kids are middle school they don't need constant care.

LOL this is so misleading and irrelevant to this discussion. "We never paid for childcare!" No, you had a SAHP. Sit down.

She was just desperate to jump in and judge anyone with multiple kids. Pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

You don’t know many highly compensated people who are valued by their workplaces.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

Millennial parent here. 4 months is on the high side (although great!) but I know dads who have taken 2-3 months paid. I work in an industry that is forward-leaning on paid leave. In addition, feds get 12 weeks paid so that's about 3 months.

That’s not normal. My husband got a few days.

Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree 100 percent with the OP. It’s not possible or fair either to your children or your employer. One or the other is getting the shaft - probably both.

WFH is a scam.

I WHF and have childcare as do my colleagues/friends I know who also WFH and have small kids. Occasionally I have a sick elementary school kid at home while I work and I’m not hiring a sitter to “watch” a kid who is dosed up on Tylenol with a book or movie on the couch. Thankfully my boss doesn’t care about these types of one offs.

I’ll add though that OP has college age kids so she doesn’t truly understand how much more expensive childcare is now and more limited. The preschool my youngest attended pre COVID is now shut down (thankfully we’re past needing that now) but I’ve had to shift my work schedule earlier because there are no open aftercare spots at my kids’ school when there used to be plenty. Just go look at the school and childcare forums full of people still having childcare issues. Even a HS babysitter now costs $20-25/hour for backup care.

I definitely think it’s unprofessional to try to caregive while WFH on a routine basis. I already felt like a crap mom ignoring my kids at time for conference calls during shutdowns, no way would I want that to be their regular day. But thankfully many work places are much more accepting of an occasional kid at home, which helps working parents a ton.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I WFH sometimes and believe me, I never WANT my toddler to be home from daycare.

Agree the norm should be to have childcare coverage during working hours.

When there are multiple young children in daycare just please be aware that sick days are frequent, especially if one kid is an infant getting illnesses for the first time. So the employee in question may not have much choice, and you may actually be getting more work out of them if the choice is WFH day vs. sick day with no work.

Yea but before covid and the advent of WFH these days were far fewer. Clearly lots of mothers are taking advantage.

Before COVID, daycare centers and schools were much more lenient with a kid with a mild runny nose. Also, parents hadn’t depleted all their sick leave thanks to close contact quarantines and 10-day COVID isolation periods. Our COVID policies were draconian for parents with young kids and working parents are still trying to rebuild their reserves from that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, wake up and smell the coffee. This isn’t 2020.

Right. Nowadays women can openly fleece their employers and the taxpayer.

Men don’t have children? Your misogyny is showing, in addition to your lack of intelligence.

Sadly, the burden of child rearing is on women in most countries including the US. Remember when you took maternity leave and your husband took a few weeks max? That was your own misogyny showing when you went along with that.

My husband took 4 months of paternity leave with each of our kids. Troll harder next time.

I don’t know a single man who did that and I’m a millennial.

You don’t know many highly compensated people who are valued by their workplaces.

Funny. That’s really the only kind of person I know.