Style choices that age women in their 40s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know I will be argued with for this. But letting hair go completely grey is the most aging. Even heavy wrinkles aren’t as ageing.

I think it depends, and I also think this is one of those things that we've been societally conditioned to believe is a hallmark of aging (but only in women!), and aging is bad for women because, again, society tells us that it makes unattractive to men. And we are conditioned to believe our worth only exists in relation to the male gaze.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

+1. Also it’s an example of where we don’t realize what true aging looks like because women have been covering grey for so long.

I follow a lot of IG gray hair sites and I am struck by how early lots of people actually reach the tipping point to dye. I had no idea because everyone is dying.

I started in my late 30s. It sucks. But I wasn’t ready to go gray. I don’t care what anyone says - it is incredibly aging and usually looks awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

Those are not capris.

People are assuming "capri" means any cropped pant. No! This is a capri pant:

https://www.titlenine.com/p/indestructible-womens-hiking-capris/112010.html

They are very unflattering because they cut the leg in half and often hit at the widest part of your calf. It's very much a "middle aged mom" look (I am a middle aged mom). Those Frank and Eileen pants are just an ankle pant, which is very on trend and look cute.

It’s sad that you can look at a picture of a badass woman getting into her kayak and fixate on her pants length. Seriously.

It's not a documentary - it's an ad for the pants. PP is allowed to notice the pants, in the ad for the pants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

Those are not capris.

People are assuming "capri" means any cropped pant. No! This is a capri pant:

https://www.titlenine.com/p/indestructible-womens-hiking-capris/112010.html

They are very unflattering because they cut the leg in half and often hit at the widest part of your calf. It's very much a "middle aged mom" look (I am a middle aged mom). Those Frank and Eileen pants are just an ankle pant, which is very on trend and look cute.

It’s sad that you can look at a picture of a badass woman getting into her kayak and fixate on her pants length. Seriously.

It's not a documentary - it's an ad for the pants. PP is allowed to notice the pants, in the ad for the pants.

It’s an ad showing a woman wearing appropriate athletic gear and PP is fixated on her calves. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

Those are not capris.

People are assuming "capri" means any cropped pant. No! This is a capri pant:

https://www.titlenine.com/p/indestructible-womens-hiking-capris/112010.html

They are very unflattering because they cut the leg in half and often hit at the widest part of your calf. It's very much a "middle aged mom" look (I am a middle aged mom). Those Frank and Eileen pants are just an ankle pant, which is very on trend and look cute.

It’s sad that you can look at a picture of a badass woman getting into her kayak and fixate on her pants length. Seriously.

+1. Meanwhile no-one feels sorry for the iv drug user with rolled up sleeves, ripped frayed shirt and beige flip-flops by the trashed backyard shed with gravel and overgrown weeds, because her ankle baggy pants are $270 and 'Italian'.

[Anonymous]

The only things I think of as universally aging are beauty/grooming choices. I think women start looking a lot older with no makeup once we hit the late 30s/early 40s. A totally bare face makes you look older at this age, light/neutral makeup makes you look younger. If you’re avoiding light foundation because it “settles in your fine lines,” as a lot of people say, you’re either applying it wrong, not using the right kind of skin care/prep/moisturizers, or you’re using the wrong type of foundation.

Too short hair is prematurely aging. So is being visibly gray. Yes, some people can pull off the “full head of gray hair” look, and I think at a certain age it becomes kind of ageless in a way, but that age is certainly not newly 40.

Unfortunately, carrying weight in your chest/bust seems prematurely aging. Especially if you’re short you can get a dowdy/mumsy look and then it’s made worse by the fact that you generally buy clothes to fit your chest and then they’re too big in the waist/hips, so you look like you’re wearing your clothes too loose and that can make you look heavier as a result.

[Anonymous]

I tend to feel colder than many other people.

Yep lots of women have poor circulation, and slim women/low-body-fat types have issues being cold. Or if you see the opposite - wearing short sleeves in the cold - they may be having hot flashes or something.

This. My MIL is rail thin (boomer eating disorder mentality) and had her HEAT on last week in Arlington. I swear she’s going to suffocate herself in that house. She constantly complains about being cold. That woman would be cold in the Sahara desert during summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

Those are not capris.

People are assuming "capri" means any cropped pant. No! This is a capri pant:

https://www.titlenine.com/p/indestructible-womens-hiking-capris/112010.html

They are very unflattering because they cut the leg in half and often hit at the widest part of your calf. It's very much a "middle aged mom" look (I am a middle aged mom). Those Frank and Eileen pants are just an ankle pant, which is very on trend and look cute.

It’s sad that you can look at a picture of a badass woman getting into her kayak and fixate on her pants length. Seriously.

It's not a documentary - it's an ad for the pants. PP is allowed to notice the pants, in the ad for the pants.

It’s an ad showing a woman wearing appropriate athletic gear and PP is fixated on her calves. Sad.

I don't think this conversation is really about what clothing styles are best for kayaking in middle age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only things I think of as universally aging are beauty/grooming choices. I think women start looking a lot older with no makeup once we hit the late 30s/early 40s. A totally bare face makes you look older at this age, light/neutral makeup makes you look younger. If you’re avoiding light foundation because it “settles in your fine lines,” as a lot of people say, you’re either applying it wrong, not using the right kind of skin care/prep/moisturizers, or you’re using the wrong type of foundation.

Too short hair is prematurely aging. So is being visibly gray. Yes, some people can pull off the “full head of gray hair” look, and I think at a certain age it becomes kind of ageless in a way, but that age is certainly not newly 40.

Unfortunately, carrying weight in your chest/bust seems prematurely aging. Especially if you’re short you can get a dowdy/mumsy look and then it’s made worse by the fact that you generally buy clothes to fit your chest and then they’re too big in the waist/hips, so you look like you’re wearing your clothes too loose and that can make you look heavier as a result.

Interesting - I am turning 40 and I look soooo much younger when I wear no makeup. I use makeup to make myself look older. Otherwise I look like a 20 year old (this is not a good thing in my mind). I am Asian so that might be why. Most of the time I am afraid people think I am my kids nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

Those are not capris.

People are assuming "capri" means any cropped pant. No! This is a capri pant:

https://www.titlenine.com/p/indestructible-womens-hiking-capris/112010.html

They are very unflattering because they cut the leg in half and often hit at the widest part of your calf. It's very much a "middle aged mom" look (I am a middle aged mom). Those Frank and Eileen pants are just an ankle pant, which is very on trend and look cute.

It’s sad that you can look at a picture of a badass woman getting into her kayak and fixate on her pants length. Seriously.

It's not a documentary - it's an ad for the pants. PP is allowed to notice the pants, in the ad for the pants.

It’s an ad showing a woman wearing appropriate athletic gear and PP is fixated on her calves. Sad.

I'm the PP who posted the link and I did so only to explain that the Frank & Eileen pants that the PP had posted were not capris. I googled "capri pants" and chose the first link that had a good visual of the length of actual capri pants, since a lot of people on this thread seem to think that the hatred of capris is a hatred of all cropped pants and the only alternative is full length wool trousers or something.

Also, coincidentally, I am a kayaker and I would wear those capris kayaking because I like something that covers my thighs to prevent sunburn. But I would not wear them out to dinner because while they might be practical for kayaking, they are universally unflattering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

I wear capris, so take this with a grain of salt, but I also like skorts and have several from Title 9.

Same. I wear capris. I see other moms wearing longer pants this summer. No way. And no one wants to see me in shorts.

I will never, ever understand the women who do not dress to the season - tall boots and puffer coats when it is 50 degrees? Long pants and long sleeves when it is 75 degrees? Are you deranged?

I'm wearing a tank tucked into these pants today: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BY8FV9H1

I am super comfortable and not too hot. I usually carry a denim jacket or lightweight sweatshirt (the really soft, thin one from Vuori) in case I go in somewhere very air conditioned and need the layer.

Also, I burn easily and like not having to put sunscreen all over my body. I also wear a wide brimmed sun hat instead of sunscreen on my face most days. Covering up in loose, lightweight clothes in hot, sunny weather is actually very common in many places. Exposing more of your body to the sun is not actually the best way to keep cool, scientifically.

I am sure you look cute in these pants, but I hate all that drawstring that looks like a tampon ripcord. Drawstrings should be inner only.

I think they are cute and the drawstring doesn't look like a tampon ripcord? Do your tampons have linen blend rip cords? Do you wear them around your waist? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here pointed out that after your 20s, larger breasts age you. It's hard to explain how, but when I tried on a shirt with a padded pushup bra and a regular light bra, the extra boob size definitely made me look older. It's subtle but there was a difference. So throw out the miracle bras or, if you're bustier, go for a smoothing sports bra style.

Large breasts aren't a style choice. Unless you are talking about implants. It's like saying, being under 5'6" ages you. Or blue eyes age you.

NP and I’m taking this personally! I’m 52, 5’5” 130 lbs. and a bra size of 33E. I’ve always had large breasts on a small frame, but post menopause I think my 10 pound weight gain is because my breasts went up 2 bands and 2 cup sizes.

Get professionally fitted bras. I have for years. No tunic tops - makes me look like I’m wearing a choir robe. My bra fitting store convinced me to give up on
a minimizer and opt for well fitting, supportive bras instead.

Correctly fitting bras and great posture help!

PP here and ITA! I am a similar size. The right bra size and a good bra is key.

Saying big breasts age you is just another slam on body type.

+1

Women need to stop trying to body shame each other. I don't talk about your over use of drugs to stay skinny and parallel your eating disorders.

Is this a joke or do you really not see what you just did there?

[Anonymous]

Cheetah/zebra prints, shapeless tunics, not using sunscreen/sunblock, too much Botox/fillers and bad plastic surgery, overly processed hair especially those ladies that insist on being blonde even though their hair isn't naturally that color.

[Anonymous]

Capris. They are just unflattering. If it is too hot for jeans, I will either wear a casual skirt or nicer shorts. I am sure I don't look amazing in shorts (I am 5'4" and 128 lbs), but it's better than capris.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t realize how much disdain there is for capris! What are options when it’s super super hot out and jeans are not comfortable, and skirts are not practical (eg sitting on a picnic blanket with little kids)?

Same! I just bought 3 pairs of these chinos for summer travel. Have I just outed myself as an out-of-touch old person?

https://www.frankandeileen.com/products/wicklow-black-italian-chino?variant=39366478725194

No, you’ve outed yourself as someone with a largish clothing budget. I have been eyeing this brand for a while. They’re even pricey used on eBay. How is the quality? Will you dry clean these pants?

Haha, it was definitely a splurge. I have been living in a southern climate for many years and needed to update my wardrobe for DC, so they travel was a good excuse.

I have been able to find many F&E tops and blouses at Nordstrom Rack and on thredUP so I figured it evens out.

Bought them in white, very happy with quality. Perfect amount of stretch. Threw in washer. Didn’t put in dryer. Seemed to hold up fine.
Bought 2 more pairs in black and navy. Feels like they will last for quite a few years.

[Anonymous]

I wear capris length leggings all the time in the summer for my athleisure because I don't like shorts on me and I want to be comfortable--is that bad?

also, what jeans should we be wearing? I wear jeans so infrequently but when I do I can't seem to part with my skinny jeans. what are we supposed to wear? bootcut? flare? flare cropped? I'm confused. lol