Finances with big mortgage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

Exactly $1M in McLean: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/6429-Old-Chesterbrook-Rd-22101/home/9414159

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

At dcum it seems as though the majority of folks have a thought process that grandparents money, kids money, and grandkids money are distinct and separate and not to be intermingled as it’s shameful to do so.

It’s not that way in my family. I’ll gladly give my kids a few hundred grand when I’m older if that accelerates their success - to buy their starter house and build equity, start up their first brokerage account, or eliminate the need for them from taking out student loans. This assumes they’re overall successful and won’t waste the money.

Similarly, theres a general understanding in my family that the money will get passed down to me anyway when the parents pass away. Leveraging some of it now to enable my success in life is just a more efficient way to operate and puts me and my kids in a better situation. Again, if I was a bum then I’m sure this wouldn’t be the case.

In return, my parents are free to move in with me anytime or choose to live independently. Everyone lives in McLean anyway so it’s easy enough to drive 5 minutes. My goal is really to find some areas to cut back/ be more efficient in managing my money until I get to the point where I don’t feel house poor because I overspent on my house. I blame the crazy market and where everyone else I know chose to buy more so than myself. Despite this, yes, there is some shame felt.

The optimal situation would be that I make so much money I can do whatever I want and don’t need a dime of help but that is not the case. I overspent on the house to optimize my distance to family, work, childcare, while being in the best school district. While rates were good last year, in this location, there was no such thing as a normal sized or priced house, it was 6k sq foot or a tear down.

On the furniture, yes it’s Wayfair/Facebook/Costco for now and limited to key areas of the house. You can find some great deals there. There’s no need to spend 15k on a couch. There will also be plenty of empty rooms for now.

What does this even mean? Why did you let other peoples house buying decisions even factor into what you were buying? We have 3 kids, do not live in McLean and bought our house for $700,000 9 years ago when we were making $200,000 a year. We are now making $650,000 a year and are still in the same house. Yes we could buy a bigger house but why become house poor? We spend what we want, save for retirement and college, and take nice vacations. Our HHI will most likely also go up in the next 5 years but we still have no plans on selling. Plus we love our neighborhood and our friends here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

Exactly $1M in McLean: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/6429-Old-Chesterbrook-Rd-22101/home/9414159

And also this, at $1.09M: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/7025-Santa-Maria-Ct-22101/home/9388432

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

Exactly $1M in McLean: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/6429-Old-Chesterbrook-Rd-22101/home/9414159

And also this, at $1.09M: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/7025-Santa-Maria-Ct-22101/home/9388432

$926k in McLean: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/1616-Great-Falls-St-22101/home/9396131

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's type of thinking is completely foreign to me. As in, I literally cannot comprehend someone making these kinds of terrible decisions. A 7 bedroom house you can't afford to furnish?

OP may turn out a lot better off financial ten years down the road than many of you who think s/he is stupid. Houses in highly desired DMV area are one of the best investments.

Maybe. But I’m not here asking how to afford my dumb lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP's type of thinking is completely foreign to me. As in, I literally cannot comprehend someone making these kinds of terrible decisions. A 7 bedroom house you can't afford to furnish?

OP may turn out a lot better off financial ten years down the road than many of you who think s/he is stupid. Houses in highly desired DMV area are one of the best investments.

OP is going to be making mortgage payments for the next 15-30 years. Mine will be paid off in 5, and we bought in 2021.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

It’s more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

There is more to Fairfax County than Vienna & McLean.

True. I was more of pointing out that a 3500/mo mortgage is a $550k house, not a $1mm house (assuming 20% down)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

$700k in Chantilly:

https://www.homes.com/property/13633-bellerose-dr-chantilly-va/q8q39k8wml5bl/

This is 50% more than $3500/mo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

Exactly $1M in McLean: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/6429-Old-Chesterbrook-Rd-22101/home/9414159

And also this, at $1.09M: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/7025-Santa-Maria-Ct-22101/home/9388432

This is $7k a month, the mortgage OP has.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

At dcum it seems as though the majority of folks have a thought process that grandparents money, kids money, and grandkids money are distinct and separate and not to be intermingled as it’s shameful to do so.

It’s not that way in my family. I’ll gladly give my kids a few hundred grand when I’m older if that accelerates their success - to buy their starter house and build equity, start up their first brokerage account, or eliminate the need for them from taking out student loans. This assumes they’re overall successful and won’t waste the money.

Similarly, theres a general understanding in my family that the money will get passed down to me anyway when the parents pass away. Leveraging some of it now to enable my success in life is just a more efficient way to operate and puts me and my kids in a better situation. Again, if I was a bum then I’m sure this wouldn’t be the case.

In return, my parents are free to move in with me anytime or choose to live independently. Everyone lives in McLean anyway so it’s easy enough to drive 5 minutes. My goal is really to find some areas to cut back/ be more efficient in managing my money until I get to the point where I don’t feel house poor because I overspent on my house. I blame the crazy market and where everyone else I know chose to buy more so than myself. Despite this, yes, there is some shame felt.

The optimal situation would be that I make so much money I can do whatever I want and don’t need a dime of help but that is not the case. I overspent on the house to optimize my distance to family, work, childcare, while being in the best school district. While rates were good last year, in this location, there was no such thing as a normal sized or priced house, it was 6k sq foot or a tear down.

On the furniture, yes it’s Wayfair/Facebook/Costco for now and limited to key areas of the house. You can find some great deals there. There’s no need to spend 15k on a couch. There will also be plenty of empty rooms for now.

These is a lot of complete nonsense in OP's most recent post, but this paragraph takes the cake:

It’s not that way in my family. I’ll gladly give my kids a few hundred grand when I’m older if that accelerates their success - to buy their starter house and build equity, start up their first brokerage account, or eliminate the need for them from taking out student loans. This assumes they’re overall successful and won’t waste the money.

Given the fiscal habits and judgment OP has demonstrated to this point, the she thinks she will have "a few hundred grand" to give away when her kids are older is flat-out hilarious.

Also, OP doesn't qualify for further handouts from her parents, given the criteria that she has described for gifts to her children. And the fact that she can't look at her "budget" and see where the fat is to trim really says it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

Exactly $1M in McLean: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/6429-Old-Chesterbrook-Rd-22101/home/9414159

And also this, at $1.09M: https://www.redfin.com/VA/McLean/7025-Santa-Maria-Ct-22101/home/9388432

This is $7k a month, the mortgage OP has.

No, OP put $600k down.

OP lives in at least a $2M house, not a $700k-1M one.

[Anonymous]

Congrats on 7 pages of replies to an unserious OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:7k may be a third of their take home but taking out such a large mortgage is foolish. It means you are slave to your job and dependent on a high income to maintain your lifestyle. We make the same income and our mortgage is 3500. But we don't have mommy and daddy to bail us out.

And when did you buy and at what rate? A 3500 mortgage lands you in Manassas these days.

WTF? That’s about a $1M house! You don’t need to go anywhere near Manassas to buy at that price point. Literally half all house sales in FFX County are below $1M.

Its more like a $560k house w/20% down. For $3600/mo you have the luxury of this Vienna beauty- https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2665-Manhattan-Pl-2-306-Vienna-VA-22180/65726674_zpid/

$700k in Chantilly:

https://www.homes.com/property/13633-bellerose-dr-chantilly-va/q8q39k8wml5bl/

This is 50% more than $3500/mo

It’s half OP’s $7000/month.

And again, OP lives in a 7 bedroom house in McLean. She doesn’t live in a house worth under $2M.

[Anonymous]

Lower the down payment or get a HELOC so you have cash for baby.

Pay it down in a few years when you have more income.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

I agree we need to cut down the two shopping expenditures. I’m not the only one with a credit card so it’s not as simple.

The reason I have 1k for furniture is that our house is slowly being furnished. We didn’t move in with much so we are now buying outdoor furniture (porch, patio, deck) and indoor furniture. There’s seven bedrooms, an office, basement theater, etc that look bare without being somewhat furnished. We’re trying to find good deals rather than splurge all at once. We also inherited a large outdoor jacuzzi that needs to be maintained.

The grandparents rather pay for help and pitch in here and there rather than quit their jobs and become full time babysitters. They also refuse to retire.

You seem to think they owe you one or the other.