HYPSM/Elite School Alums - What has been the downside of your degree?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a ton of discussion on this and other forums about all the benefits that a degree from HYPSM or other elite schools confers. However, I have not seen much discussion about the potential downsides or costs of attending such a school.

When I say costs or downsides, I am not referring to debt you had to take on or the high stress level during undergrad. I am referring to costs and downsides you have experienced once you graduated, it can be related to your career or life overall. I have recently been working with a bright Princeton graduate. I noticed that she did not list Princeton on her LI. We were having a casual convo once and the topic of LI came up. I asked her how come she doesn't list her alma mater on there, and she said that she hates the assumptions people make about her only because of where she went to school, such as being entitled and privileged, when in fact she was first gen and came from a working class family.

This is really the encounter that made me think about what are some of the negative sides of attending one of these schools, especially once you leave, that are not discussed enough, yet I feel is important to talk about given the ongoing obsession with these places.

Downside as a parent is if your child flames out of an elite college, it is acutely mortifying. Meanwhile, friends and neighbors' children who went to less prestigious are making big bucks in tech and at prestigious law, medical, and dental school. Some of them are beginning to buy luxury condos and houses. Even lower and middle of the pack high school classmates who went to nursing school are making great money; lots of engagements, just seem to be progressing well through adulthood. I would think if your child flames out of a local regional university, nobody notices or frankly cares because the expectations are lower and they have much lower graduation rates.

(Full disclosure we have a child who flamed out of an Ivy.)

I sincerely believe elite college is pretty meaningless. I won't call it a waste of money, but if your child is driven and sharp coming out of high school, they will do great no matter where they go.

Are you the parent whose kid went to three colleges?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my husband and many of my friends went to HYPSM, and I went to one of the better state flagships. I would take their place in a heartbeat -- they all got so much more in terms of 1. what they learned there 2. their network 3. their current position in life 4. the sense of possibility that the world can offer (their view is broader).

UVA grad?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None

Absolutely none. Harvard + Yale degrees here. Sorry I know you want to hear something different.

Has been a boon in each job change (I'm a lawyer). But I've been in cities and fields where no one would think this is a bad thing.

Insufferable

I might agree...if it were not that this entire thread is posted once per week in one fashion or another. Seems like a lot of DCUM are bitter about getting rejected or never having the stats to even bother applying to HYPSM.

Then the comments pile on about "how I know someone that won't hire HYPSM"...or "I know someone that attended HYPSM and didn't turn out great"...etc.

People seem awfully obsessed with constantly creating these threads just to "convince" people that these schools are a waste.

Agree and from my personal experience and observation, some people take great delight in seeing HYPSM graduates struggle or fail. Not that anyone would ever admit that. So that's a downside. I don't think as many people care about or notice if someone from a State U does not meet certain expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None

Absolutely none. Harvard + Yale degrees here. Sorry I know you want to hear something different.

Has been a boon in each job change (I'm a lawyer). But I've been in cities and fields where no one would think this is a bad thing.

Insufferable

I might agree...if it were not that this entire thread is posted once per week in one fashion or another. Seems like a lot of DCUM are bitter about getting rejected or never having the stats to even bother applying to HYPSM.

Then the comments pile on about "how I know someone that won't hire HYPSM"...or "I know someone that attended HYPSM and didn't turn out great"...etc.

People seem awfully obsessed with constantly creating these threads just to "convince" people that these schools are a waste.

Our child didn't even apply to Ivy and I have no axe to grind. I've met many nice, grounded HYPSM alum but it's just a fact that I have met far more who are insufferable. It's much like the way that elite Brits behave. Beneath the surface (and sometimes at the surface) they believe they are "a notch above" and they "have the badge to show it". I don't prejudge, because of the lovely people I know, and in fact, it's often that I find out after knowing them and am able to chalk it up to "oh, that explains it".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do find myself mumbling in social settings about having gone to school "in the Boston area"--a verbal tick that seems common with other Harvard graduates.

Ridiculous. Just say it. Why are you trying to draw more attention to this tiny little fact?
-Harvard graduate

If asked - say where you went to school. Otherwise, why would you even bring it up in the first place?

I never bring it up. In fact, I avoid the topic as much as possible but sometimes other people bring it up. I used to straight up say where I went to school but as previous posters have noted, it changes the conversational dynamic EVERY SINGLE TIME and for the worse - it just becomes very awkward and people start making the usual assumptions about you "You must be rich/privileged/entitled/legacy/URM/spoiled/arrogant/etc."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:HYP grad here. I almost always reject HYP grads when they apply to my company - we tend to hire 1-3 years out of undergrad and that cadre from HYP tend to expect much higher comp and more comp increases along the way. In short, they are more of an HR pain in the arse.

Our best hires always are the striving kids, top 10-20% of their classes from T60-T300 schools.

Yes I realize the irony of this....entirely

So you discriminate. Nice.

College name is not a protected class.

Sure, I'm not talking legally--more on an ethical basis. You've got a lot of biases in my opinion--I think it's better to treat people as individuals and judge them on their own merits not my own personal biased history.

Who said this person chucked the application before interviewing them and discovering they were not a good fit? They said that almost all HYP applicants get rejected - not that they were never considered.

They said it was on the basis that they think they would be an "HR pain in the ass" which is not knowable from an interview. You don't even know comp requests unless you offer the position. So they are likely basing in on bias.

[Anonymous]

The highest concentration of people weird as f##k I've ever encountered! MANY good ones too, but unfortunately, for me, the odd really stuck out.

[Anonymous]

Female HYP alum - I've been in dating situations where some men are intimidated by the credential.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Female HYPSM alum - I've been in dating situations where some men are intimidated by the credential.

Same. In the grand scheme of things, I consider this to be a minimal negative impact more than made up for by the excellent education I received and the professional boost I continue to get from having it on my resume.

One other downside (and maybe this is not what OP's asking but I'll mention it anyway) is that being surrounded by extremely high achieving classmates may have limited my ambitions somewhat? I came into college excited about math and computer science and ended up doing most of my math classes as audited or pass/fail and focusing on computer science because I didn't immediately get the theoretical math concepts and proofs easily when I felt that my classmates did. I later talked to a friend who'd majored in electrical engineering who phrased it as, "If I'd gone to [SUNY schools she was accepted to] instead, I'd probably still be a physics major." I don't know what if any impact that would have had on me long term -- I've had a very good and happy life without pursuing a theoretical major but sometimes I wonder what I would have learned and done if I'd stuck with abstract algebra and functional analysis a bit longer or taken them in an environment where it wasn't assumed I already had a mind conditioned for understanding their proofs.

[Anonymous]

I think the biggest drawback is people feel that you have gotten the golden ticket and, hence, you are not allowed any human moments, such as making mistakes, failing, struggling, not knowing, mental health challenges, etc.

As if by attending HYP, you are somehow protected from all the downsides of being a human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None

Absolutely none. Harvard + Yale degrees here. Sorry I know you want to hear something different.

Has been a boon in each job change (I'm a lawyer). But I've been in cities and fields where no one would think this is a bad thing.

Insufferable

I might agree...if it were not that this entire thread is posted once per week in one fashion or another. Seems like a lot of DCUM are bitter about getting rejected or never having the stats to even bother applying to HYPSM.

Then the comments pile on about "how I know someone that won't hire HYPSM"...or "I know someone that attended HYPSM and didn't turn out great"...etc.

People seem awfully obsessed with constantly creating these threads just to "convince" people that these schools are a waste.

Agree and from my personal experience and observation, some people take great delight in seeing HYPSM graduates struggle or fail. Not that anyone would ever admit that. So that's a downside. I don't think as many people care about or notice if someone from a State U does not meet certain expectations.

Definitely agree! I have witnessed people gloating behind other people's backs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At these super elite schools I think it’s more about the personalities of each kid who attends. I had two very smart nephews who went to Harvard and Duke for their undergrad. But personality-wise they were quite different - the one who went to Harvard struggled to adjust there and while he hasn’t had a bad career by any means, it seems like he’s holding back on his own potential. My nephew who went to Duke however, was better at adjusting to the rigor and expectations that came with being a Duke student and graduate, and is now extremely successful for his age (and any age for that matter). Unfortunately it’s very hard to predict how any kid will do in an elite school environment.

+1 it all comes back to each kid. Most of the kids at top schools will be able to progress properly but some just take longer/need more time to figure it out. I'm sure it doesn't help if your Harvard nephew is seen as an anomaly, as it might compound his confusion and ability to make it back to the path he was hoping to go on. Happy for your Duke nephew though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Several Princeton alums I know were legacies and got in principally for that reason. They would not have gotten in otherwise. They graduated bottom third of the class in the humanities/social sciences. The best part about Princeton for them was getting in. Going to Princeton and graduating from Princeton was deflating. All of them went on to mediocre careers and bounced around from job to job. In hindsight, Princeton legacy was a millstone around their necks. All three would have been better off charting their own paths. I have seen this with Harvard legacies but know them less well. I have come to the conclusion that bring legacies at these schools is a bit of a curse, with MIT being an exception because they don’t favor legacies in admission and MIT grads are the real deal. The downside of these schools is the weight of expectation for future greatness and more than half of the graduating class will lead unextraordinary lives. Frankly, many Princeton, Harvard, Yale grads are underwhelming and it must be painful to be on the receiving end of that. This is the downside of these schools. People broadly think the degree confers more talent, aptitude and drive than it actually does.

I was a diversity admit from a LMC family and bad school, I barely graduated and have had a lackluster career “following my passion”. I hate coming from Princeton because people wonder why I’m doing what I do, where anyone from my hometown would thing I MADE IT.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you try to get a low-level job you’ll be seen as a flight risk

If you’re in certain environments you’ll be seen as an out of touch elite

+1. And there is also the fact that you drink a lot of cool aid at school and then need to go out in the real world and prove yourself…and that’s usually when you realize that many people don’t care where you went to school or think you’re wealthy/connected/an elitist. The latter is particularly unfair if you grew up LMC/MC and got in on your own merits.

[Anonymous]

Called an elitist by my boss who was the son of an establishment family. They just weren't big into colleges - all the kids enlisted and then joined the family business.