If you turned down a top liberal arts school for a cheaper state school?

[Anonymous]

It is only Emory... What major? My DD turns down Rice University and Carnegie Mellon (80K+ tuition) and attend T25 top public school. She did well and received prestigious academic award. DD plan to use the $$ for grad school or whatever DD want. The $$ save is for her to do whatever she want.

[Anonymous]

+10. Sounds awesome. Congrats

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't consider Emory to be a "top liberal arts school". A top school, I think arguably. I think the point is that if you were talking about a true to liberal arts school like Amherst or Swarthmore, I can see the issue. I just don't think Emory has enough going for it to pick it over UMD given the facts you outline.

Emory is better than those both schools. And for Op it depends on the major. Some majors prestige doesn't matter, for others like finance UMD will not get you far.

Really? This is anecdotal, but if you compared the 4 students from DC's graduating class who are at Emory v the 4 at their top NESCAC,- hands down the latter are by far the "better" students by grades and rigor. I know three of the Emory kids in addition to DC and the other NESCAC kids and they wouldn't even contest that.

I know Emory has high stats but the kids I’m aware of who have gone to Emory past couple years would have not been good candidates for top Nescac type schools

The Emory students at our Big 3 are all a bit odd. Like they didn't want the SLAC experience, b/c that would have been just a "13 grade" from their Big 3 experience. But Emory as a next chapter experience in terms of diversity and "urbanism" is totally misplaced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I really don't consider Emory to be a "top liberal arts school". A top school, I think arguably. I think the point is that if you were talking about a true to liberal arts school like Amherst or Swarthmore, I can see the issue. I just don't think Emory has enough going for it to pick it over UMD given the facts you outline.

Emory is better than those both schools. And for Op it depends on the major. Some majors prestige doesn't matter, for others like finance UMD will not get you far.

Really? This is anecdotal, but if you compared the 4 students from DC's graduating class who are at Emory v the 4 at their top NESCAC,- hands down the latter are by far the "better" students by grades and rigor. I know three of the Emory kids in addition to DC and the other NESCAC kids and they wouldn't even contest that.

I know Emory has high stats but the kids I’m aware of who have gone to Emory past couple years would have not been good candidates for top Nescac type schools

The Emory students at our Big 3 are all a bit odd. Like they didn't want the SLAC experience, b/c that would have been just a "13 grade" from their Big 3 experience. But Emory as a next chapter experience in terms of diversity and "urbanism" is totally misplaced.

Why is it misplaced?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

+1. And for the posters commenting on large state schools my very reserved DD went to UMD College Park and found her people. She now has a great group of friends. Large schools don't mean you get lost. They are a bigger oppportunity to find friends.

[Anonymous]

You have enough saved for Emory. If she wants to go to Emory then she should go. Is she planning to be a Doctor or something? Otherwise I wouldn’t worry so much about grad school.

You are in a great position.

[Anonymous]

It is hard to take OP seriously when they refer to Emory as a LAC. Good grief.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

+1. And for the posters commenting on large state schools my very reserved DD went to UMD College Park and found her people. She now has a great group of friends. Large schools don't mean you get lost. They are a bigger opportunity to find friends.

I'm glad things worked out for your daughter, but let's not pretend that the experience at a large state school is the same as the experience at a LAC. I'm not saying it's better or worse, but it's not the same, and as far as the aspect you're talking about? It is definitely easier for a kid to get lost in the shuffle at a big school than at a small one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me say that I think UMD is a fantastic school and anyone who gets in - which is a much tougher admit than it used to be - can get a great education. And in general, smart, ambitious, determined kids can go anywhere from any school.

Still for us, my immigrant husband who won't spend a dime on anything other than education felt VERY strongly about ensuring that our kids could go to the best possible school that they could get into. His argument was that their horizons will be exponentially wider if they are at a competitive school with peers from all over the country and all over the world.

That is true in my own experience - I lucked into an Ivy back when an ordinary smart kid could do that. It exposed me to ideas and people whom I would have never met at my state flagship, even though it is/was a fine school.

At UMD you will meet "peers from all over the country and all over the world". There is a large cohort of kids at UMD (or any big flagship) who had the intelligence and academic chops to succeed at a T20 school but didn't get in or didn't go for a variety of reasons - including money - but the simple fact is that every elite school rejects a dozen or more qualified kids for every kid they accept. They have to, they don't have room for all the qualified kids. And those qualified kids go somewhere... like UMD.

Yes, as I said in my post, there are tons of smart kids at UMD and there are people from all over the country and the world as well. But attending a state flagship that draws 3/4 of its undergraduates from in-state is not an identical experience to going to a highly competitive private school like Emory. If the OP's kid is going to turn down Emory just to keep the money in the bank in case it's needed for grad school, they should know what they're missing. There's no way I would be doing what I'm doing today if I had gone to my state flagship.

what are they "missing"? And couldn't you say that about UMD as well?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have enough saved for Emory. If she wants to go to Emory then she should go. Is she planning to be a Doctor or something? Otherwise I wouldn’t worry so much about grad school.

You are in a great position.

Just because you have enough money to buy a high-end luxury car, doesn't mean you should.

It is very appropriate to worry about grad school, because she will probably go and grad school is notoriously expensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

+1. And for the posters commenting on large state schools my very reserved DD went to UMD College Park and found her people. She now has a great group of friends. Large schools don't mean you get lost. They are a bigger oppportunity to find friends.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

+1. And for the posters commenting on large state schools my very reserved DD went to UMD College Park and found her people. She now has a great group of friends. Large schools don't mean you get lost. They are a bigger oppportunity to find friends.

+1

+2
Same experience for my shy kid. Not UMD but another large state school. Has been a fabulous experience, exposing DC to all kinds of people and giving him the opportunity to really find his people and his activities. Couldn’t have asked for a better experience, and watching him come out of his shell has been so rewarding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

Then, find work using her Emory degree (debt-free) and save up/try to get money through grants/employer to pay for grad school.

Agree with this. She doesn’t have to go to grad school right away. She can get a good job, save up, and if at a larger company, they will likely have some grad school funding available.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

PP didn't blame the school, she said it wasn't a good fit for her so she was depressed and struggling and so didn't reap these benefits from the school. She wonders if her situation would be different at a smaller school which it very well could have been. I think you should never "push" a kid to an option--you lay out the financial reality and what you are able/willing to pay and let them decide. There might be more options to consider besides these two and the kid is the one who has to own and live through the decision.

My DS wound up depressed, struggling and anxious at an elite SLAC. He transferred to a big state school and did much better. Plus it was a hell of a lot cheaper for me, so that was a win-win.

LACs are romanticized by their supporters and large state publics are demonized by the same people. Reality is that there are many who are unhappy at small schools and an overwhelming number who are very happy at large state publics.