If you turned down a top liberal arts school for a cheaper state school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

OP, you saved for college, now you're suggesting the cheaper (and potentially worse fit) option to save for...grad school? Will you want DC to pick the cheaper grad option to save for her future down payment? You did DC a service by saving the way you did -- now let DC attend the better fit school. A liberal arts school has a lot to offer the right student - cost isn't always the most important metric, especially when cost is not an issue for you in this case.

If you have the money sitting there to fully pay for Emory (NOT taking loans), then I'd turn the decision over to DC. Lay out the options so they understand they can have a UMD degree + funding for grad school and/or Roth IRA vs. an Emory degree and nothing more. They can live with the consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

We had a similar but more difficult decision to make (gave up UVA as well as a full ride at UF) and sent our kid to an OOS school paying close to 80K/yr. His 529 was not fully funded either and we continue to add money to support his education. However, we did this based on the program of study (CS) he chose. Had this been for a pre-professional degree (pre-med, pre-law, etc.) that required grad school our decision would have been different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had enough to pay for four years of 85k/year, I would leave it up to her after talking through the realities very plainly.

I don’t even have enough saved to send my kid to ONE year at 85k/year, so my conversation would be very different. (And yes, we’ve been saving since he was in preschool.)

+1. If you literally have enough in a 529 to pay $85K for four years, shouldn't it be up to her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I meant $85,000 a YEAR total costs. And $27,000 for UMD. A year.

Yes, that is what we thought you meant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

PP didn't blame the school, she said it wasn't a good fit for her so she was depressed and struggling and so didn't reap these benefits from the school. She wonders if her situation would be different at a smaller school which it very well could have been. I think you should never "push" a kid to an option--you lay out the financial reality and what you are able/willing to pay and let them decide. There might be more options to consider besides these two and the kid is the one who has to own and live through the decision.

PP here and yes. I would approach that big state school very differently if I were to do it again now, with the benefit of hindsight. Certainly there were ways to do it that wouldn't have been so isolating. But I was 18 and I struggled. That's pretty common. Which is why I think it's important to ask the student in question what they are hoping to get out of college, and what kind of environment they would feel comfortable in. At that age, I simply did not have the disposition or skill set to thrive at a large school. Perhaps a smaller state university would have been a better fit, or a gap year.

But OP isn't asking about other state schools or gap years. She's saying "Emory or UMD" and she's saying the deciding factor is price. My point is, if they can do Emory without loans, and their DD would be much happier and better adjusted there, it may in fact be worth the extra money. Or if UMD would simply be a bad fit, no matter how affordable or practical it is, it might not be worth it. They are in a good position because they have the money either way. Spend it to get your DD the best possible shot at doing well in school.

[Anonymous]

I would not take out loans to go to private but it sounds like you have enough money already saved in the 529 to 100% cover the cost of Emory. So if Emory is her top choice and she can finish debt-free, I’d let her go. Grad school isn’t a definite and if she goes for a PhD, she can choose a school that offers her money to make it free or affordable. I think UMD is a terrific school especially for enginweering, CS, business and psychology. It’s also a fantastic deal. I have 2 current Terps. They got into many privates with generous merit aid but we still would have had to borrow and they didn’t want to take on loans. They will have to figure out grad school. I was in that boat 30 years ago and so were almost all my peers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be happy that there is enough in the 529 that she gets to make the decision

Why do people say things like this?
I'm sorry there are others who have it worse, financially. But that doesn't mean that, after more than a decade of sacrificing and saving, people still can't be disappointed that they are left out of top universities b/c of inability to bank roll it.

But OP does have the ability to bankroll it. Their DD isn't left out of a top university. She can enroll in Emory and her parents can pay for it without loans. For most people, this would be a question of Emory with loans or UMD without. OP is in a better situation, no question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of kids at top schools nowadays on full FA who wouldn’t get in to the honors college at UMD, and if they did, wouldn’t be able to finish a STEM major there.

Then this thread doesn't apply to them.

[Anonymous]

Another vote for letting your daughter decide based on what matters most to her, with the understanding that you saved so you would never have to take out loans.

There is a lot to be said for attending an undergraduate institution that will give more personalized attention and then, if grad school seems like a good idea, doing so only in ways that put the financial burden on her.

Maybe that means no grad school because she doesn't get enough aid and doesn't want to take out loans.

Maybe that means attending while she works so employee assistance covers it (or part of it).

Maybe she has to do an in-state program because she can't afford a private graduate school with no aid.

My bias is that if we're talking about grad school grad school and not business or professional school, it's not a good idea if no place wants you enough to pay you to be there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

She's lucky she has these options. What are her career goals?

[Anonymous]

I turned down a SLAC that I really wanted to go to for financial reasons and ended up at a highly regarded state school (as an OOS student, but tuition was still less than half that of the SLAC) that was affordable for my family. I'm sure I would have loved the SLAC and I also suspect that if I had gone there I would have ended up living/working in New England (since my family is also there). And I do sometimes miss New England very much. OTOH, I got a terrific education at the state school, made good friends, met DH, and launched on a career path that I likely would not have taken had I gone to the SLAC. So it all worked out fine. As it would have if I had gone to the SLAC. Totally different, but fine.

I would not spend almost 3 times the money to send my kid to Emory (or anywhere), when the alternative is a fine school in its own right. The additional utility, however you define it, of attending Emory simply isn't worth $58,000 per year.

Signed,
Someone who last year hired recent grads from Emory, Penn, Cornell, Johns Hopkins, and Dartmouth, and also UVA, UMDCP, JMU, UMass, and Tulane. All have been great.

[Anonymous]

I know Emory is a well respected school. But I haven't met one currently enrolled student or recent grad who says the love the place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I had enough to pay for four years of 85k/year, I would leave it up to her after talking through the realities very plainly.

I don’t even have enough saved to send my kid to ONE year at 85k/year, so my conversation would be very different. (And yes, we’ve been saving since he was in preschool.)

Depending on the major..
If CS/engineering then go with UMD. If not Emory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

PP didn't blame the school, she said it wasn't a good fit for her so she was depressed and struggling and so didn't reap these benefits from the school. She wonders if her situation would be different at a smaller school which it very well could have been. I think you should never "push" a kid to an option--you lay out the financial reality and what you are able/willing to pay and let them decide. There might be more options to consider besides these two and the kid is the one who has to own and live through the decision.

My DS wound up depressed, struggling and anxious at an elite SLAC. He transferred to a big state school and did much better. Plus it was a hell of a lot cheaper for me, so that was a win-win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know Emory is a well respected school. But I haven't met one currently enrolled student or recent grad who says the love the place.

How may have you met?