If you turned down a top liberal arts school for a cheaper state school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have chosen a larger state university for our son because the private LAC with the more impressive name is $80/k a year with only a 10k merit scholarship.
It's simply not worth the loans or financial anguish. We can afford the larger state university without him taking out loans. He got a larger merit scholarship there as well.

We phrased it that it's an accomplishment to be accepted but no one asks where you went to college by the time you are 30, but school loans follow you forever. [/quote]

100% correct regarding "financial anguish" and that "school loans follow you forever."

+1 Yes, this is certainly a good way to think about loans. Particularly if child is interested in the liberal arts and not STEM or business school, as mine is..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

It's not necessarily terrible advice. I took out $20k in grad school loans and an $10K from my parents and paid them off in five years. I got a $25K salary bump in first job after grad school. It really depends on the program, the student's career goals/prospects, etc.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

[Anonymous]

My sister and I both had to make this choice back when we went to college and the numbers and differential were smaller. She turned down and Ivy and I turned down a couple national universities. We both did well at our state Us and have had good careers and lives. I don't know about my sister but I never resented my parents for the decision. It turned out to be a very good one since my dad got laid off halfway through my college years and never regained a professional position. I'm really glad they hadn't over stretched.

My sister and I both went on to get graduate degrees -- mine paid for out of my salary + a bit from my employer while I went to school PT. My parents gave my sister an interest-free loan for hers and she's now working on a doctoral program paid for by her employer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

PP didn't blame the school, she said it wasn't a good fit for her so she was depressed and struggling and so didn't reap these benefits from the school. She wonders if her situation would be different at a smaller school which it very well could have been. I think you should never "push" a kid to an option--you lay out the financial reality and what you are able/willing to pay and let them decide. There might be more options to consider besides these two and the kid is the one who has to own and live through the decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I had enough to pay for four years of 85k/year, I would leave it up to her after talking through the realities very plainly.

I agree with this IF you can pay for Emory with no loans. My daughter is grateful that I am paying for 4 years of in-state tuition, but at the same time will probably always be a little resentful that she was limited to state schools but I refused to take out parent loans.

Us too. I refuse to take out parent loans. I'm not sure why this is even on the table for a generation which has the highest housing costs and just paid off our own student loans. You have to have a very motivated child who is going for a career that can pay off those loans and part of your own mortgage one day, we don't have that child.

My child has the option of a state school where we don't have to take on that level of debt. I sat through a few financial aid seminars at college open houses where they talk about a family taking out private loans and I really shook my head. I can't imagine that being a popular option. I would rather put it on a credit card that I can include in the inevitable bankruptcy that would follow if I piled on 50k a year in debt for 3 years.

I realize that we aren't the typical DCUM level income here.

parent loans really should NOT be on the table. People should learn to attend somewhere they can afford, and the most loans anyone should take is the max federal amount (of $27K over the 4 years).
Graduating debt free or as close as possible is the SMART choice

[Anonymous]

Lots of kids at top schools nowadays on full FA who wouldn’t get in to the honors college at UMD, and if they did, wouldn’t be able to finish a STEM major there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

It’s a tough calm but I would send her to Emory. She can always take out loans or get other funding if she attends grad school.

This is terrible advice. Do NOT take out loans if possible.

Agree!! Loans in the past seemed more manageable (if you got lucky with employment) but at that high cost it will get out of hand fast! I have been throwing out ancient receipts from my files and cannot believe how *cheap* university used to be but it seemed like a lot to us back then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be happy that there is enough in the 529 that she gets to make the decision

Why do people say things like this?
I'm sorry there are others who have it worse, financially. But that doesn't mean that, after more than a decade of sacrificing and saving, people still can't be disappointed that they are left out of top universities b/c of inability to bank roll it.

[Anonymous]

I would spend the money if you have it, and you both really prefer Emory. You saved it for college, and this is college.

[Anonymous]

Let me say that I think UMD is a fantastic school and anyone who gets in - which is a much tougher admit than it used to be - can get a great education. And in general, smart, ambitious, determined kids can go anywhere from any school.

Still for us, my immigrant husband who won't spend a dime on anything other than education felt VERY strongly about ensuring that our kids could go to the best possible school that they could get into. His argument was that their horizons will be exponentially wider if they are at a competitive school with peers from all over the country and all over the world.

That is true in my own experience - I lucked into an Ivy back when an ordinary smart kid could do that. It exposed me to ideas and people whom I would have never met at my state flagship, even though it is/was a fine school.

I don't mean to imply that the OP is necessarily wrong to steer her DD toward UMD instead of Emory. It's a really tough choice, especially if the funds are there in the 529 to pay for Emory. But I did want to make the point that paying full price for a private undergraduate education can be worth it.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t be able to justify spending an extra $230k for Emory over UMD, but everyone is different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MY DD has been accepted to Emory University and total costs will be close to $85,000. We received no merit. She was also accepted to UMD - College Park and we are in state.

If she goes to Emory, she will use her entire 529 College Fund leaving nothing for graduate school.

Of course, if she goes to UMD, she will have $ left.

I am rather sad for her but it doesn't seem like a wise move financially to go with Emory and we are leaning towards UMD College Park.

Anyone else in this situation? Accepted to competitive college or top 20 college and cannot justify such a high cost?

OP, you saved for college, now you're suggesting the cheaper (and potentially worse fit) option to save for...grad school? Will you want DC to pick the cheaper grad option to save for her future down payment? You did DC a service by saving the way you did -- now let DC attend the better fit school. A liberal arts school has a lot to offer the right student - cost isn't always the most important metric, especially when cost is not an issue for you in this case.

[Anonymous]

My parents' philosophy was they would pay for the best college we could get into. I don't know if I share that viewpoint now that I'm a parent myself. I tend to think if your kid is a strong enough student to get into Emory then she'll do well no matter where she goes and UMD is a great school too. If she goes to UMD and excels there, she will likely have no trouble getting into a good grad school and/or starting a great career. Emory has more prestige and overall it may offer a better college experience but I think for most kids the benefits of going to Emory over UMD would be marginal. Lots of very successful and smart people go to state schools and get great educations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was in this position when I was your DD's age. I wound up going to the state school and have mixed feelings about it. My parents did not have as much money saved as you do, but we did not qualify for financial aid. So attending the SLAC would have required loans and that is the primary reason I attended the state school. I am really, really glad I did not incur undergrad loans. However, I did feel overwhelmed and a bit lost at my huge state school, never really fit in with the culture, and didn't enjoy my college experience very much. Now, it's been decades and I don't often sit around thinking about how I didn't enjoy college that much -- it was a long time ago and I have a great life.

However, from a career standpoint, I do sometimes wish I had a stronger network from undergrad, or really any network from undergrad, because I can see how that is really beneficial. I also envy people with close friends from college -- I have a couple friends I've stayed in touch with but no one I'm close to because I was honestly never that close to people in college. In retrospect, I was almost certainly depressed and struggling, but I think it was hard for people to recognize that (and I wonder if the large school environment contributed to that as well).

I don't think it was the "wrong" choice to go to a state school. I did in fact wind up going to grad school (though would I have done that if I'd had a better undergrad experience and felt less adrift? hard to say). Again, no debt is huge. But you have the money to send your DD to Emory without incurring debt. There's no guarantee she'll go to grad school, and there are ways to do grad school affordably (do a fully funded program, don't do law or business school unless it's a top program and you are fully committed to working in a high-pay job until loans are paid off).

I think if I were in your position, given my own experience, I would let her decide and a major factor would be personality and whether that state flagship would be the right fit for this particular student. She's obviously worked hard in school to gain admission to a school like Emory, I think there is an argument that pushing her towards the state school to save money, especially if attending a huge school might not work for her, could be a mistake.

No tight friends? No alumni network? You are blaming the large school but it’s not the school....

PP didn't blame the school, she said it wasn't a good fit for her so she was depressed and struggling and so didn't reap these benefits from the school. She wonders if her situation would be different at a smaller school which it very well could have been. I think you should never "push" a kid to an option--you lay out the financial reality and what you are able/willing to pay and let them decide. There might be more options to consider besides these two and the kid is the one who has to own and live through the decision.

I agree-- let the kid decide.

What a wonderful gift you have given to your child to even be in the position to make this decision!

I chose to attend Berkeley (in state) rather than Radcliff as I was spooked by the loans we would need to incur. I think it was the "right" decision, but I certainly have some regret about it.

Anyway, by giving her the choice, you are setting her up to realize that she will want to make the very best of the situation she has choosen. There is a downside/sacrifice either way she goes-- but what a glorious dilemma!

Congrats!