Looking back, when did things change? When did we stop letting kids wander freely outside?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like growing up here, sometime around 1999/2000. I started to see less kids out alone and by the time I had my own kids, it was nearly unheard of to let your child hangout and ride their bikes around town. There were news stories about children free range in this area into the 2010s.


What year would you say things changed?

For my family it was 1975. That was the year Sheila and Katherine Lyon disappeared.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born 1970 and free ranged my semi rural Massachusetts neighborhood during my early childhood and my suburban Arizona neighborhood during my middle childhood and teen years. My parents were born in the early and late 30s so their parenting mindset was formed by that context. My father roamed the streets of the south Bronx in the 30s and 40s where he likely formed the opinion that kids are resilient.

The interesting thing about this conversation and how things have changed for kids is that stranger abductions of children and stranger sexual assaults/molestations of children are still exceedingly rare, as they have always been. People became terrified by a few missing kid/murdered kid stories and playing outside became a thing of the past for far too many kids. Then cable television, home computers and video game systems locked a lot of kids into the couch potato lifestyle and parents enabled it because it’s easy. The long term effects on the mental health and physical health of kids must be obvious to us all now - exercise and time in nature are both critical to emotional and physical well being and many kids are getting little if any of each, hence mental health and suicide crises facing our kids.

If you look at the stats on who is perpetrating against our kids and who is abducting most of them - it’s family members and people in positions of authority whom we trust who are doing the vast majority of crimes against our kids and our kids are just as vulnerable to that kind of crime as they were when they also rode their bikes and ran around playing outside. It’s sad. I wouldn’t want to be a kid today.

I agree. So many people say it is a different world today... but statistically it is actually safer.

Statistically maybe. Go to Dulles Town Center all the time. Until last week anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I think is also interesting, at least with ppl that I personally, they think that they really seem to think that kids with free time/freedom to play and hang out with friends isn't good enough anymore. They really feel that organized activities and being busy is superior.

It's so sad. How can you develop your own imagination or a basic ability to move through the world and make things happen for yourself if you're so scheduled? DH and I deliberately limit tour ES kids' activities. The older kids have one each and they're both at the school. The kids seem to prefer being at home or around the neighborhood mucking around. I'd say the main issue is that most of the other kids aren't around to hang out because they're at activities.

We're doing "free range" as much as possible, which is about the same as the standard parenting mode DH and I grew up with.

[Anonymous]

I was a rebel being outside. I got into trouble a lot. A lot of perv men talking to me and I had my school uniform. I was 10.


Never leave your kids alone

[Anonymous]

I'd say that it was the very early 2000s. It's almost like one day all the kids/teens disappeared. I think that it's a combo of fear and it almost like parents don't feel as if that type of childhood almost isn't good enough anymore. I also have to say that u can high school kids getting into things, smoking/drinking ect. I really can't understand younger than that though. Kids should be kids as long as they can.

[Anonymous]

Kids were being kidnapped, raped and murdered for decades. Now we have more coverage. There are also a lot of cold cases from decades earlier being solved nowadays with DNA evidence.

Educated parents cared in every decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids were being kidnapped, raped and murdered for decades. Now we have more coverage. There are also a lot of cold cases from decades earlier being solved nowadays with DNA evidence.

Educated parents cared in every decade.

This is true. Growing up, my parents let me and my brothers roam around on our bikes, a lot of times going on our separate ways and meeting up at home later. After I grew up and found out what happened to the kids on the milk cartons, I decided that my parents were very irresponsible. I would never let my daughter just roam around like that, ever.

I've always been particularly chilled by two stories - Ann Gotlib, from my hometown of Louisville, which taught me how fast it can happen that you never see your child again, and John Walsh's son Adam, the details of which shock the conscience and show what evil truly is.

[Anonymous]

Grew up in the 80s in the suburbs of a large midwestern city and we were riding our bikes into town (like the downtown of our little suburb, not the city) at around age 10. We'd get ice cream, go to the little convenient store, go to the good park, etc... it was a good time. I'm sad my kids can't do that - this area is too congested, I'm barely comfortable with the kids roaming around our neighborhood with the Amazon trucks going 50-60mph on 25mph streets constantly!

[Anonymous]

When did aftercare start in most places? We didn't have it growing up.

[Anonymous]

After the sniper incident in 2003 or so it just didn’t feel safe around Montgomery county. Several times I was right near where the shootings took place.
Then we were about to get over that we had the mass shooting at Vtech.
Now we have a new phenomenon “school shootings “. It does tend to make one paranoid.

[Anonymous]

As someone who wishes they could have given my kids more freedom - it was frustrating. My kids are now 12 and 14, so past the time of getting side eye for being alone.... but in years past I totally felt judged for letting my kids do things that we had talked about, that I knew they were ready for. Yes, there are people in the world that you can't control for, but I'm not planning to live in fear, nor to make my kids do the same. FWIW I was born in the late 70's and grew up in NWDC where I live now.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand the people who cite some anecdote and infer "never do X" from it, in particular when it comes to this topic of kids' freedom (even around the neighborhood). Why apply that logic to this topic but not others? Far more people die or have their lives irreversably altered by car accidents, yet you still drive (AND you drive your kids around town too, you neglectful parents).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people who cite some anecdote and infer "never do X" from it, in particular when it comes to this topic of kids' freedom (even around the neighborhood). Why apply that logic to this topic but not others? Far more people die or have their lives irreversably altered by car accidents, yet you still drive (AND you drive your kids around town too, you neglectful parents).

Agreed. This is not logical thinking AT ALL. "one child was kidnapped in my home town and once I heard the story my daughter will never be out of my sight again"? I truly don't understand. So then we shouldn't drive a car, send our child to school, let them go to camp, cross a road, the list goes on. These events are SO RARE and should not be drastically changing our behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like growing up here, sometime around 1999/2000. I started to see less kids out alone and by the time I had my own kids, it was nearly unheard of to let your child hangout and ride their bikes around town. There were news stories about children free range in this area into the 2010s.


What year would you say things changed?

1981. 6 year old Adam Walsh was kidnapped from the toy department of a Sears store and murdered (beheaded). Things were never the same after that.

I agree. That was an earthquake for a lot of parents. I have young children now and I still think about it.

We used to lose my younger brother all the time in the store and never worried because he’d always end up at a checkout stand with a friendly checker or salesperson. Parents thought nothing of letting their kids visit the toy section while they grabbed other items. The idea that your child could be lured out of the store and killed with you just a few aisles away was horrifying.

I remember hearing about Adam Walsh as a kid and seeing his dad on TV (even though I was a few years younger than Adam). It was really jarring to learn about. I lost sight of my 4 year old at the park the other day and even though I was 99% sure he was just hidden behind some piece of playground equipment, my stomach was in knots looking for him. I found him and he was fine, but the bad thoughts jumped into my head first. That little girl Dulce Alvarez came to mind. Your worst nightmare can come true in moments, and I think that has definitely affected our parenting. We’re also more aware of things like kids getting hit by cars on their bike, kids being SA, etc. We know more now for better or worse …

[Anonymous]

Husband and I were talking about how we ate sugared cereal, drank soda and chocolate milk and we’re all thin as rails because we ran around all the time. Riding bikes, racing bikes, going in the woods, running to a friend’s house because they were the one with the basketball hoop etc, spent the whole day at the pool with $2.50 for lunch and snacks. There’s just no way to replicate that with “activities”. It really was special and made us resilient and clever and fit. It is such a shame kids don’t have that anymore in most places. Can you even leave a 12 year old unattended at a pool anymore?