Looking back, when did things change? When did we stop letting kids wander freely outside?

[Anonymous]

It was Etan Patz. He was the first milk carton kid and that's when parents started reigning in their kids freedoms outside.

summer of '79

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born in the mid 70s. I didn’t go to summer camp and my parents, mainly mom since dad was working, just siad go out and play. Come home at dinner. We went to the pool, tried to find change to buy candy or slurpees, and I guess went home to eat. We rode bikes everywhere. I can remember taking a path and coming out miles from home. We’d play at the creek and hang out with our neighbors. I had my first beer while playing beer pong the day before my 11th birthday at their house. No parents were around. No clue what they were doing. We found cigarettes and beer hidden at the creek. I assume by teens. We once were flashed by the creepy neighbor. This was in a nice neighborhood. No way in hell would i let my kids do that. It’s irresponsible.

This describes me as well, born in 1972 and grew up in Chevy Chase. My parents were aware of the Lyon sisters too - I had older sisters who were about their age and we got pulled over once by cops who thought they were them.

[Anonymous]

I was born 1970 and free ranged my semi rural Massachusetts neighborhood during my early childhood and my suburban Arizona neighborhood during my middle childhood and teen years. My parents were born in the early and late 30s so their parenting mindset was formed by that context. My father roamed the streets of the south Bronx in the 30s and 40s where he likely formed the opinion that kids are resilient.

The interesting thing about this conversation and how things have changed for kids is that stranger abductions of children and stranger sexual assaults/molestations of children are still exceedingly rare, as they have always been. People became terrified by a few missing kid/murdered kid stories and playing outside became a thing of the past for far too many kids. Then cable television, home computers and video game systems locked a lot of kids into the couch potato lifestyle and parents enabled it because it’s easy. The long term effects on the mental health and physical health of kids must be obvious to us all now - exercise and time in nature are both critical to emotional and physical well being and many kids are getting little if any of each, hence mental health and suicide crises facing our kids.

If you look at the stats on who is perpetrating against our kids and who is abducting most of them - it’s family members and people in positions of authority whom we trust who are doing the vast majority of crimes against our kids and our kids are just as vulnerable to that kind of crime as they were when they also rode their bikes and ran around playing outside. It’s sad. I wouldn’t want to be a kid today.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When moms started all working, daycares exploded. Kids were no longer raised at homes. This happened after the 90’s. Two spouses worked to support the family.

All of these developments disgust me.

You’re a disgusting misogynist.

But they aren’t incorrect. The ability of children to roam freely was partially dependent on the fact that communities were communities. People knew each other, socialized and helped each other. This community was largely built and maintained by women. Even in the latchkey families there was the knowledge that there were other people around in whom they could depend. When more women started working that community was weakened. If I fell off my bike a mile from my house, I could go to Mrs. jones who would clean me up and call my mom. When the bus didn’t show, there was a mom or dad going by who would have all the kids pile in and drive them to school. When we walked to school the older kids looked out for the younger. One of the biggest losses is the cross gender/age play that we had. You add in a bit of hysteria, new laws about kids being supervised, competition and no one home, you get what we have now. The kids aren’t ok. The parents aren’t ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When moms started all working, daycares exploded. Kids were no longer raised at homes. This happened after the 90’s. Two spouses worked to support the family.

All of these developments disgust me.

You’re a disgusting misogynist.

But they aren’t incorrect. The ability of children to roam freely was partially dependent on the fact that communities were communities. People knew each other, socialized and helped each other. This community was largely built and maintained by women. Even in the latchkey families there was the knowledge that there were other people around in whom they could depend. When more women started working that community was weakened. If I fell off my bike a mile from my house, I could go to Mrs. jones who would clean me up and call my mom. When the bus didn’t show, there was a mom or dad going by who would have all the kids pile in and drive them to school. When we walked to school the older kids looked out for the younger. One of the biggest losses is the cross gender/age play that we had. You add in a bit of hysteria, new laws about kids being supervised, competition and no one home, you get what we have now. The kids aren’t ok. The parents aren’t ok.

+1 million

We built a crappy late stage capitalist society.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When moms started all working, daycares exploded. Kids were no longer raised at homes. This happened after the 90’s. Two spouses worked to support the family.

All of these developments disgust me.

You’re a disgusting misogynist.

But they aren’t incorrect. The ability of children to roam freely was partially dependent on the fact that communities were communities. People knew each other, socialized and helped each other. This community was largely built and maintained by women. Even in the latchkey families there was the knowledge that there were other people around in whom they could depend. When more women started working that community was weakened. If I fell off my bike a mile from my house, I could go to Mrs. jones who would clean me up and call my mom. When the bus didn’t show, there was a mom or dad going by who would have all the kids pile in and drive them to school. When we walked to school the older kids looked out for the younger. One of the biggest losses is the cross gender/age play that we had. You add in a bit of hysteria, new laws about kids being supervised, competition and no one home, you get what we have now. The kids aren’t ok. The parents aren’t ok.

Agree with this. As a successful working woman, I have benefited from having a career and a high income. But from a macro perspective we have lost something. The lack of community, over scheduling of kids, neighborhoods empty during the day, kids being in front of screens etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born in the early 70s. I had kids in the early 00s. I remember when my kids were little, someone asked something like "wasn't I scared to raise kids with how things are these days?" I said I thought things were way safer for kids these days than they were when I was a kid.

She looked at me like I was crazy. Statistically, I was absolutely correct; but she couldn't believe it.

You were correct, of course, and it does have to do with the internet, but before that, with the advent of the 24-hour news cycle, with all those hours to fill. Before that, you only read in your local newspaper or by word of mouth what was happening nearby, or the very rare instances where a case became national front-section news. But of course, good luck getting todays anxiety-riddled parents to understand that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was born in the early 70s. I had kids in the early 00s. I remember when my kids were little, someone asked something like "wasn't I scared to raise kids with how things are these days?" I said I thought things were way safer for kids these days than they were when I was a kid.

She looked at me like I was crazy. Statistically, I was absolutely correct; but she couldn't believe it.

You were correct, of course, and it does have to do with the internet, but before that, with the advent of the 24-hour news cycle, with all those hours to fill. Before that, you only read in your local newspaper or by word of mouth what was happening nearby, or the very rare instances where a case became national front-section news. But of course, good luck getting todays anxiety-riddled parents to understand that.

Neil Postman traces it back to the telegraph. His book is called Amusing Ourselves to Death. Written in 1985. It explains so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When kids who saw missing kids on milk cartons started having kids. That was traumatizing.

+1 In the book Coddling of the American Mind, that was what they pinpointed the significant shift to in terms of clamping down on child freedom. That being said there are neighborhoods that buck this trend. Thankfully we have found one devoid of Karen moms etc where kids enjoy good old fashioned freedom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born in ‘76, and always was only allowed out for 15 minutes at a time and could only go two houses to the left and two to the right of ours. That was until I was 11, then still only 15 minutes, but within our development.

I was born in ‘78 and had a fully free range childhood.

[Anonymous]

I live in the DMV (well within the beltway in an DCUM approved ES cachement area) and kids roam freely in our neighborhood today. My kids did also roamed and they are in their twenties now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When moms started all working, daycares exploded. Kids were no longer raised at homes. This happened after the 90’s. Two spouses worked to support the family.

All of these developments disgust me.

You’re a disgusting misogynist.

But they aren’t incorrect. The ability of children to roam freely was partially dependent on the fact that communities were communities. People knew each other, socialized and helped each other. This community was largely built and maintained by women. Even in the latchkey families there was the knowledge that there were other people around in whom they could depend. When more women started working that community was weakened. If I fell off my bike a mile from my house, I could go to Mrs. jones who would clean me up and call my mom. When the bus didn’t show, there was a mom or dad going by who would have all the kids pile in and drive them to school. When we walked to school the older kids looked out for the younger. One of the biggest losses is the cross gender/age play that we had. You add in a bit of hysteria, new laws about kids being supervised, competition and no one home, you get what we have now. The kids aren’t ok. The parents aren’t ok.

Don’t blame lack of community on others. If you want it, you have to find it and/or form it. We have a community in our neighborhood and most of the parents work. We prioritize connecting and supporting each other. Maybe it’s not common to find but it’s not because women work.

And many women worked back in the 70s/80s. Latchkey kids and all. We still had community.

Misogynistic excuses to blame women.

Kids aren’t out as much anymore because they are over scheduled with organized sports and activities. Then, in the remaining free time they get sucked into additive gaming/streaming without commercials/firehoses of video shorts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was born in the mid 70s. I didn’t go to summer camp and my parents, mainly mom since dad was working, just siad go out and play. Come home at dinner. We went to the pool, tried to find change to buy candy or slurpees, and I guess went home to eat. We rode bikes everywhere. I can remember taking a path and coming out miles from home. We’d play at the creek and hang out with our neighbors. I had my first beer while playing beer pong the day before my 11th birthday at their house. No parents were around. No clue what they were doing. We found cigarettes and beer hidden at the creek. I assume by teens. We once were flashed by the creepy neighbor. This was in a nice neighborhood. No way in hell would i let my kids do that. It’s irresponsible.

I grew up in Charlotte in the 70s and 80s. This was how I grew up too.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea, but it's really sad. Kids/teens are missing out imo.

[Anonymous]

Sometime between when I was born in 1981 and when my oldest son was born in 2009.

I feel like it was while I wasn't paying attention to kids - so sometime after I went to college in the fall of 1999, I feel. Not totally sure.