Looking back, when did things change? When did we stop letting kids wander freely outside?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This was the start and in Silver Spring the two sisters that went to the Wheaton mall and were kidnapped and murdered

NY


https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/30/nyregion/what-happened-to-etan-patz.html

Silver Spring:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murders_of_Katherine_and_Sheila_Lyon

Also America's most wanted with John Walsh and his son that was murdered.

I am a local born and raise, and my mother watches my 4 year old ... she sites the Wheaton kidnapping to this day, as the reason she won't let me child play alone in the front yard

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the shift happened when we stopped knowing our neighbors / living close to family.

I also think parents today have so little bandwidth leftover for actual parenting that we don't go outside with our kids, play with them, etc.

But I wasn't playing with my parents back then either. My mom was inside watching General Hospital while we were roaming the neighborhood, biking up to the convenience store to buy candy, etc.

I think there are some streets in my neighborhood that do have a lot of kids of similar age and they all hang out. We don't really have that on my street and I can't imagine just turning my 7yo loose like I was. One of his friends lives down the street but the parents aren't keen on someone knocking on the door to see if Larlo can play so that's that, even then I have to contact the parent to arrange a playdate.

[Anonymous]

Mine wonder freely around our neighborhood which is about a two block radius.
They can't go into any house though unless they tell me beforehand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I think is also interesting, at least with ppl that I personally, they think that they really seem to think that kids with free time/freedom to play and hang out with friends isn't good enough anymore. They really feel that organized activities and being busy is superior.

It's so sad. How can you develop your own imagination or a basic ability to move through the world and make things happen for yourself if you're so scheduled? DH and I deliberately limit tour ES kids' activities. The older kids have one each and they're both at the school. The kids seem to prefer being at home or around the neighborhood mucking around. I'd say the main issue is that most of the other kids aren't around to hang out because they're at activities.

We're doing "free range" as much as possible, which is about the same as the standard parenting mode DH and I grew up with.

This is definitely a challenge for us too. I do think there has to be a balance- my parents didn't really let me do any organized activities growing up beyond girl scouts and I ended up feeling a bit resentful about it. But some of our kids friends are scheduled for something every day, which seems like a lot.

[Anonymous]

I let my kids play outside without me, I let them walk to a few friends houses without me, but so far no free wandering.

I will eventually let them walk to and from school without me. It's interesting to me the parents in my neighborhood who won't let their 5th grade, responsible kid, walk to and from school alone.

But free range just seems like they'd be amusing themselves by bothering other people, and that is certainly less tolerated these days. I mean, when a teen is shot for simply ringing the wrong doorbell, we are living in some twisted paranoid times. I don't want my 10 year old killed for stepping on someone's daffodils.

[Anonymous]

I was born in the 80's I feel like my generation was one of the last ones to actually get to play outside without adult supervision.

I think our culture's obsession with stranger danger is just so counter f productive when statistically children are much more likely to be abused by a person they know and trust. It's sickening to see the number of people who defended Sandusky and Nassar because they were successful groomers(yes it's time to reclaim that word to describe actual predators). They got away with hurting children for so long because they were on the surface they seemed like nice people.


I would love to give my children more independence to run the neighborhood and develop their self reliance and problem solving skills but it is hard to be the only person in the neighborhood who's really willing to do that.

[Anonymous]

I don't let my kids play outside ever since Jason was carried away by owls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand the people who cite some anecdote and infer "never do X" from it, in particular when it comes to this topic of kids' freedom (even around the neighborhood). Why apply that logic to this topic but not others? Far more people die or have their lives irreversably altered by car accidents, yet you still drive (AND you drive your kids around town too, you neglectful parents).

Agreed. This is not logical thinking AT ALL. "one child was kidnapped in my home town and once I heard the story my daughter will never be out of my sight again"? I truly don't understand. So then we shouldn't drive a car, send our child to school, let them go to camp, cross a road, the list goes on. These events are SO RARE and should not be drastically changing our behavior.

Not to mention the opportunity cost of the missed benefits and growth these kids are missing out on by parents being so over-reactive to exceedingly small risks.

[Anonymous]

Definitely Adam Walsh. 1981.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids play outside without me, I let them walk to a few friends houses without me, but so far no free wandering.

I will eventually let them walk to and from school without me. It's interesting to me the parents in my neighborhood who won't let their 5th grade, responsible kid, walk to and from school alone.

But free range just seems like they'd be amusing themselves by bothering other people, and that is certainly less tolerated these days. I mean, when a teen is shot for simply ringing the wrong doorbell, we are living in some twisted paranoid times. I don't want my 10 year old killed for stepping on someone's daffodils.

There is a family in our neighborhood that makes free-range parenting their identity. Their kids are out all day (homeschooled) and play ball games in the street. They also go up to adults and chat with them. I’m not entirely sure what gain the parents see in this style of parenting but most adults in the neighborhood see the kids as a nuisance.

[Anonymous]

The rise of air conditioning and kid-centered entertainment has a lot to do with it too. Of course you’re going to go outside to play if inside is hot and the only thing to watch is general hospital. Once indoors was cooled off and there was MTV, Disney Channel and video games, it’s harder to get kids outdoors. Now that we have the internet no one over age 10 is outside unless it’s part of a structured activity.