Beach week house rules contract

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Sad thing is that once your daughter has that first drink in the company of a bunch of friends, she’s a target for assault. But you delude yourself into believing, my kid can handle it.

Make sure you at least encourage your daughter to call 911 if she’s raped or assaulted in any way by acquaintance or stranger.

I have taught my son from puberty on that intoxicated girls/women cannot consent. Everyone needs to have that conversation, repeatedly, with their kids. Yes, there are boys and men who will seek to exploit/assault/rape an intoxicated girl. But at beach week, more often than not, everyone is drinking and they just assume consent. And sometimes they are horribly mistaken.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sad thing is that once your daughter has that first drink in the company of a bunch of friends, she’s a target for assault. But you delude yourself into believing, my kid can handle it.

Make sure you at least encourage your daughter to call 911 if she’s raped or assaulted in any way by acquaintance or stranger.

I have taught my son from puberty on that intoxicated girls/women cannot consent. Everyone needs to have that conversation, repeatedly, with their kids. Yes, there are boys and men who will seek to exploit/assault/rape an intoxicated girl. But at beach week, more often than not, everyone is drinking and they just assume consent. And sometimes they are horribly mistaken.

All genders. I just used girls because my son is straight. But it applies in any combination you like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No permanent mistakes:

1) No arrests
2) No pregnancy and/or STD
3) No addiction
4) No tattoos

ASK FOR CONSENT.

Are teens actually doing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Sad thing is that once your daughter has that first drink in the company of a bunch of friends, she’s a target for assault. But you delude yourself into believing, my kid can handle it.

Make sure you at least encourage your daughter to call 911 if she’s raped or assaulted in any way by acquaintance or stranger.

Catastrophize much? Better not send your DD to college because kids party together ALL. THE. TIME. News flash - most of them don't get assaulted.

1 in 4 woman are sexually assaulted in college. Maybe not most but 25% in 4 shorts years. That’s scary

Usually those women are drunk. My shy nephew went to Beach Week and ended up sleeping with 7 girls, the girls initiated the act. I'm sure they were drunk too...

That’s quite a bit of intimate information you’ve got there, Auntie. So he told him Mum about his seven conquests and she proudly rang you to deliver the good news?

[Anonymous]

Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My contract:

Don't do stupid shlt.
Don't get drunk
Don't do drugs
Don't drink and drive if you do get drunk
Don't abuse the rental house; it's coming out of your checking account if you do.
Don't f*up your chances at college just for fun for that week

-love mom

I wouldn’t let my kid do beach week. Not even my perfect rule following one. There are literally no protections in place. At college, they are in locked dorms, with rules and consequences and legal guard rails. At a beach house, it’s a legal free for all.
If your kid wants to go to the beach, either you go as a family or the kid rents the house themselves with their own money and own signature- oh that’s right they can’t, and it’s for a good reason! Liability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Sad thing is that once your daughter has that first drink in the company of a bunch of friends, she’s a target for assault. But you delude yourself into believing, my kid can handle it.

Make sure you at least encourage your daughter to call 911 if she’s raped or assaulted in any way by acquaintance or stranger.

I have taught my son from puberty on that intoxicated girls/women cannot consent. Everyone needs to have that conversation, repeatedly, with their kids. Yes, there are boys and men who will seek to exploit/assault/rape an intoxicated girl. But at beach week, more often than not, everyone is drinking and they just assume consent. And sometimes they are horribly mistaken.

But intoxicated boys/men can consent? This should go both ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)

Well, it is nice they have built their own sort of gay community. But I don’t think the couples should get a beach house together unless they are all over 18 and have their own rules for avoiding illegal drinking drugs etc.
since the election things might get dicey for lgbtq as well, they should thoroughly vet out the beach village community first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)

I wouldn't be comfortable with this either.
Sex aside, I would want my kid socializing with the rest of the school. I'm not at all a fan of romantic partnerships that spend all their time together in high school (or even college). These years are better spent investing in a larger variety of people. Kids have their entire lives (i.e. marriage) to spend 95% of their time with one person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)

I wouldn't be comfortable with this either.
Sex aside, I would want my kid socializing with the rest of the school. I'm not at all a fan of romantic partnerships that spend all their time together in high school (or even college). These years are better spent investing in a larger variety of people. Kids have their entire lives (i.e. marriage) to spend 95% of their time with one person.

It’s a little too late for the concern about wanting them to socialize with other people at school, no? It’s a trip taken after graduation from HS but before they start college. Presumably the group is not all attending the same college. I’m not a fan of beach week period, but the composition of this group wouldn’t bother me because the reality is they are already having sex. Honestly, it’s probably safer than 10 girls staying together and going out, drinking, meeting random guys, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My contract:

Don't do stupid shlt.
Don't get drunk
Don't do drugs
Don't drink and drive if you do get drunk
Don't abuse the rental house; it's coming out of your checking account if you do.
Don't f*up your chances at college just for fun for that week

-love mom

I wouldn’t let my kid do beach week. Not even my perfect rule following one. There are literally no protections in place. At college, they are in locked dorms, with rules and consequences and legal guard rails. At a beach house, it’s a legal free for all.
If your kid wants to go to the beach, either you go as a family or the kid rents the house themselves with their own money and own signature- oh that’s right they can’t, and it’s for a good reason! Liability.

I tend to agree (though my kid is just in 10th grade). “Beach week” wasn’t a thing I ever heard of as a teen. Must be regional? Or specific to a demographic/SES to which I do not belong. I can’t imagine my parents would have allowed this, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gentle)

Well, it is nice they have built their own sort of gay community. But I don’t think the couples should get a beach house together unless they are all over 18 and have their own rules for avoiding illegal drinking drugs etc.
since the election things might get dicey for lgbtq as well, they should thoroughly vet out the beach village community first

LOL why are you assuming they are gay?? Read the bolded sentence.

[Anonymous]

Question: my son and his group of friends are all couples that have been dating a long time (6 couples with 2-4 yrs relationships for all). They want to get a beach house during "beach week" together as couples. My husband and I are both from NOVA and we both went to beach week 30 yrs ago (yikes! saying that hurts a little, lol!) These guys are wanting to go down separately (not the same week or even the same beach location) as the rest of their high school. I am really struggling with this. I know they all have sex anyway, but this feels like a bridge too far--sending them off on a couples retreat basically. All the other parents in the group seem to be fine with this and I am frankly left scratching my head. I would be more apt to consider the co-ed situation if they were all just a platonic group of friends, but this is different. Looking for other parent input to determine if I am overreacting. (Please be gent

OP, I am with you. There is no way I would support this. They are teens! A couples trip facilitated by the parents (which this would be, because at a minimum the kids can’t sign the rental contract and probably are not paying the lease ) is way too far for me. And honestly, I would side eye another parent pretty hard who let their kid do this.

I have four kids and three went to beach week, and I have never heard of anything like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No permanent mistakes:

1) No arrests
2) No pregnancy and/or STD
3) No addiction
4) No tattoos

ASK FOR CONSENT.

Are teens actually doing this?

Yes fool shit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t. You let your kids go to beach week but want them to sign a contact you think they will obey?

What a laugh

But, why wouldn't they?

They do sign it ahead of time, you know.