NOT redshirting an August birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my August bday boy. His best friend is an August bday boy who was held back. They’re all friends. I don’t think any of us have regrets.

When it was time for K, I said to myself - is there any actual reason to hold him back or would I be doing it for competitive reasons? There was no actual reason to hold him back. I felt he had been there / done that with preschool and would like not gain much from an additional year.

He has a lot of grit, which I attitude to trying to keep up when he was younger but idk - maybe he’s just like that.

YMMV.

+1. It doesn’t really matter much in the end. I do feel like the people who redshirted fell into 1 of 2 buckets. First bucket was people did it because even though the child was developmentally ready, they were anxious/insecure/competitive and felt this would give their kid an advantage. Second bucket was people whose kids had some not-yet-fully-understood delays. These kids all ultimately ended up with SN diagnoses of various flavors and while the parents had hoped the extra year would confer “readiness” the kids still had the same challenges a year later and the parents needed to address the needs directly.

My own kids were summer bday preemie twins. They were very academically ready for K and would have been bored with an extra preschool year. One did have mild SNs but he was not the only K kid who couldn’t sit still on the rug for extended periods of time. They’re older now and I don’t have regrets at all. They have a few friends a year older and you can’t really tell the difference. Most of the summer bday kids in our school went on time.

The special needs kids make sense but only if you are going to get them help during the year you hold them back. Ignoring the issues and holding them back isn't going to fix anything, just make them a year older and a year lost in treatment.

Except gaining a year of maturity helps a lot. Holding back isn't ignoring at all, in fact its exactly what some kids need. Spending $$$ on crap treatments wastes everyone's time and money. Why ignore the most obvious solution? It's bizarre that you think anything and everything comes before that. You sound disingenuous.

[Anonymous]

Late August birthday here and my parents pushed me ahead so I was always the youngest. Academically, I was always at the top of the class and can't imagine being held back a year later. The only times I really noticed or didn't like it was when everyone started getting their drivers licenses, going to rated R movies, etc. I had to have a fake ID for an extra year

I moved into college the week before I turned 18.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late August birthday here and my parents pushed me ahead so I was always the youngest. Academically, I was always at the top of the class and can't imagine being held back a year later. The only times I really noticed or didn't like it was when everyone started getting their drivers licenses, going to rated R movies, etc. I had to have a fake ID for an extra year

I moved into college the week before I turned 18.

You are academically at the top of your class. You can't see any reason a kid who is not a top student might have a different experience?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late August birthday here and my parents pushed me ahead so I was always the youngest. Academically, I was always at the top of the class and can't imagine being held back a year later. The only times I really noticed or didn't like it was when everyone started getting their drivers licenses, going to rated R movies, etc. I had to have a fake ID for an extra year

I moved into college the week before I turned 18.

You are academically at the top of your class. You can't see any reason a kid who is not a top student might have a different experience?

Not that PP but I think the point is that birth month does not necessarily to school performance and not every kid will benefit from being held back (which is what some posters have argued)

[Anonymous]

We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late August birthday here and my parents pushed me ahead so I was always the youngest. Academically, I was always at the top of the class and can't imagine being held back a year later. The only times I really noticed or didn't like it was when everyone started getting their drivers licenses, going to rated R movies, etc. I had to have a fake ID for an extra year

I moved into college the week before I turned 18.

You are academically at the top of your class. You can't see any reason a kid who is not a top student might have a different experience?

Not that PP but I think the point is that birth month does not necessarily to school performance and not every kid will benefit from being held back (which is what some posters have argued)

Right, some don't need it; for others, it might make sense. It's not that easy to assess at age 4, which is why factors other than academic readiness should factor into the equation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

Yes, really want my child to develop work ethic via likely exposure to bullying and struggling through school. “but she’s on the dean’s list now!” 🙄

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

Yes, really want my child to develop work ethic via likely exposure to bullying and struggling through school. “but she’s on the dean’s list now!” 🙄

OTSS Only The Strong Survive! It's survival of the fittest starting in kindergarten. What a great concept!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my August bday boy. His best friend is an August bday boy who was held back. They’re all friends. I don’t think any of us have regrets.

When it was time for K, I said to myself - is there any actual reason to hold him back or would I be doing it for competitive reasons? There was no actual reason to hold him back. I felt he had been there / done that with preschool and would like not gain much from an additional year.

He has a lot of grit, which I attitude to trying to keep up when he was younger but idk - maybe he’s just like that.

YMMV.

+1. It doesn’t really matter much in the end. I do feel like the people who redshirted fell into 1 of 2 buckets. First bucket was people did it because even though the child was developmentally ready, they were anxious/insecure/competitive and felt this would give their kid an advantage. Second bucket was people whose kids had some not-yet-fully-understood delays. These kids all ultimately ended up with SN diagnoses of various flavors and while the parents had hoped the extra year would confer “readiness” the kids still had the same challenges a year later and the parents needed to address the needs directly.

My own kids were summer bday preemie twins. They were very academically ready for K and would have been bored with an extra preschool year. One did have mild SNs but he was not the only K kid who couldn’t sit still on the rug for extended periods of time. They’re older now and I don’t have regrets at all. They have a few friends a year older and you can’t really tell the difference. Most of the summer bday kids in our school went on time.

The special needs kids make sense but only if you are going to get them help during the year you hold them back. Ignoring the issues and holding them back isn't going to fix anything, just make them a year older and a year lost in treatment.

Except gaining a year of maturity helps a lot. Holding back isn't ignoring at all, in fact its exactly what some kids need. Spending $$$ on crap treatments wastes everyone's time and money. Why ignore the most obvious solution? It's bizarre that you think anything and everything comes before that. You sound disingenuous.

I mean, I completely disagree with you. I don’t think children entering kindergarten need any particular level of maturity. And I think kids who have early signs of ADHD or dyslexia or any other SN aren’t going to magically outgrow it by delaying kindergarten. I honestly think everyone should just follow the cut offs. In school systems where the cut offs are firm and parents don’t get to fool around with this, it keeps the age spread of the cohort consistent and better serves everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my August bday boy. His best friend is an August bday boy who was held back. They’re all friends. I don’t think any of us have regrets.

When it was time for K, I said to myself - is there any actual reason to hold him back or would I be doing it for competitive reasons? There was no actual reason to hold him back. I felt he had been there / done that with preschool and would like not gain much from an additional year.

He has a lot of grit, which I attitude to trying to keep up when he was younger but idk - maybe he’s just like that.

YMMV.

+1. It doesn’t really matter much in the end. I do feel like the people who redshirted fell into 1 of 2 buckets. First bucket was people did it because even though the child was developmentally ready, they were anxious/insecure/competitive and felt this would give their kid an advantage. Second bucket was people whose kids had some not-yet-fully-understood delays. These kids all ultimately ended up with SN diagnoses of various flavors and while the parents had hoped the extra year would confer “readiness” the kids still had the same challenges a year later and the parents needed to address the needs directly.

My own kids were summer bday preemie twins. They were very academically ready for K and would have been bored with an extra preschool year. One did have mild SNs but he was not the only K kid who couldn’t sit still on the rug for extended periods of time. They’re older now and I don’t have regrets at all. They have a few friends a year older and you can’t really tell the difference. Most of the summer bday kids in our school went on time.

The special needs kids make sense but only if you are going to get them help during the year you hold them back. Ignoring the issues and holding them back isn't going to fix anything, just make them a year older and a year lost in treatment.

Except gaining a year of maturity helps a lot. Holding back isn't ignoring at all, in fact its exactly what some kids need. Spending $$$ on crap treatments wastes everyone's time and money. Why ignore the most obvious solution? It's bizarre that you think anything and everything comes before that. You sound disingenuous.

I mean, I completely disagree with you. I don’t think children entering kindergarten need any particular level of maturity. And I think kids who have early signs of ADHD or dyslexia or any other SN aren’t going to magically outgrow it by delaying kindergarten. I honestly think everyone should just follow the cut offs. In school systems where the cut offs are firm and parents don’t get to fool around with this, it keeps the age spread of the cohort consistent and better serves everyone involved.

Ok. Except kids can be delayed because they don't all reach milestones at the exact same time. Especially true for the very youngest in class. What they need is simply more time. You can ignore that and stick your fingers in your ears all you want, but delaying entry is very beneficial for some kids. I would do it all over gain given the chance. It was the right choice for us. When he got to kindergarten his fine and gross motor delays had resolved and he was much better able to access the kindergarten curriculum and get the most out of it. That busybodies might disagree would never be a factor in the decision making. I know you don't care about my kid, so I have to do what's best for him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

Yes, really want my child to develop work ethic via likely exposure to bullying and struggling through school. “but she’s on the dean’s list now!” 🙄

OTSS Only The Strong Survive! It's survival of the fittest starting in kindergarten. What a great concept!

This feels dramatic. I don’t think our parents thought this much about age cutoffs and redshirting and everyone is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have a late-summer birthday kid, and enrolled her in preschool at 2 and kindergarten at barely 5. She was always one of the youngest kids in class.

Her behavior marks in the early years of school (preK-3) weren't as good as the older kids in class. She didn't have as much self-control, due to being a full year younger than other kids in class. Teachers would point it out.

But over time, she learned to work hard for what she wanted. She developed a strong work ethic to get what came so easily for the "older" kids in her class. By upper elementary, you couldn't tell she was the youngest one. She started college at 17, is now on the dean's list and doing well.

Enroll your kid on time, OP. Don't hold him back. There will be a few "why can't your kid act like the kids one full year older??" moments, but soldier on. It will all work out well.

Yes, really want my child to develop work ethic via likely exposure to bullying and struggling through school. “but she’s on the dean’s list now!” 🙄

OTSS Only The Strong Survive! It's survival of the fittest starting in kindergarten. What a great concept!

This feels dramatic. I don’t think our parents thought this much about age cutoffs and redshirting and everyone is fine.

I went to half day kindergarten with naps, play time, singing, art, and fun. No reading. Kindergarten has evolved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my August bday boy. His best friend is an August bday boy who was held back. They’re all friends. I don’t think any of us have regrets.

When it was time for K, I said to myself - is there any actual reason to hold him back or would I be doing it for competitive reasons? There was no actual reason to hold him back. I felt he had been there / done that with preschool and would like not gain much from an additional year.

He has a lot of grit, which I attitude to trying to keep up when he was younger but idk - maybe he’s just like that.

YMMV.

+1. It doesn’t really matter much in the end. I do feel like the people who redshirted fell into 1 of 2 buckets. First bucket was people did it because even though the child was developmentally ready, they were anxious/insecure/competitive and felt this would give their kid an advantage. Second bucket was people whose kids had some not-yet-fully-understood delays. These kids all ultimately ended up with SN diagnoses of various flavors and while the parents had hoped the extra year would confer “readiness” the kids still had the same challenges a year later and the parents needed to address the needs directly.

My own kids were summer bday preemie twins. They were very academically ready for K and would have been bored with an extra preschool year. One did have mild SNs but he was not the only K kid who couldn’t sit still on the rug for extended periods of time. They’re older now and I don’t have regrets at all. They have a few friends a year older and you can’t really tell the difference. Most of the summer bday kids in our school went on time.

The special needs kids make sense but only if you are going to get them help during the year you hold them back. Ignoring the issues and holding them back isn't going to fix anything, just make them a year older and a year lost in treatment.

Except gaining a year of maturity helps a lot. Holding back isn't ignoring at all, in fact its exactly what some kids need. Spending $$$ on crap treatments wastes everyone's time and money. Why ignore the most obvious solution? It's bizarre that you think anything and everything comes before that. You sound disingenuous.

I mean, I completely disagree with you. I don’t think children entering kindergarten need any particular level of maturity. And I think kids who have early signs of ADHD or dyslexia or any other SN aren’t going to magically outgrow it by delaying kindergarten. I honestly think everyone should just follow the cut offs. In school systems where the cut offs are firm and parents don’t get to fool around with this, it keeps the age spread of the cohort consistent and better serves everyone involved.

The enormous numbers of peer-reviewed studies done that correlate relative age in class to prescription of ADHD drugs demonstrates that you are flat-out wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my August bday boy. His best friend is an August bday boy who was held back. They’re all friends. I don’t think any of us have regrets.

When it was time for K, I said to myself - is there any actual reason to hold him back or would I be doing it for competitive reasons? There was no actual reason to hold him back. I felt he had been there / done that with preschool and would like not gain much from an additional year.

He has a lot of grit, which I attitude to trying to keep up when he was younger but idk - maybe he’s just like that.

YMMV.

+1. It doesn’t really matter much in the end. I do feel like the people who redshirted fell into 1 of 2 buckets. First bucket was people did it because even though the child was developmentally ready, they were anxious/insecure/competitive and felt this would give their kid an advantage. Second bucket was people whose kids had some not-yet-fully-understood delays. These kids all ultimately ended up with SN diagnoses of various flavors and while the parents had hoped the extra year would confer “readiness” the kids still had the same challenges a year later and the parents needed to address the needs directly.

My own kids were summer bday preemie twins. They were very academically ready for K and would have been bored with an extra preschool year. One did have mild SNs but he was not the only K kid who couldn’t sit still on the rug for extended periods of time. They’re older now and I don’t have regrets at all. They have a few friends a year older and you can’t really tell the difference. Most of the summer bday kids in our school went on time.

The special needs kids make sense but only if you are going to get them help during the year you hold them back. Ignoring the issues and holding them back isn't going to fix anything, just make them a year older and a year lost in treatment.

Except gaining a year of maturity helps a lot. Holding back isn't ignoring at all, in fact its exactly what some kids need. Spending $$$ on crap treatments wastes everyone's time and money. Why ignore the most obvious solution? It's bizarre that you think anything and everything comes before that. You sound disingenuous.

I mean, I completely disagree with you. I don’t think children entering kindergarten need any particular level of maturity. And I think kids who have early signs of ADHD or dyslexia or any other SN aren’t going to magically outgrow it by delaying kindergarten. I honestly think everyone should just follow the cut offs. In school systems where the cut offs are firm and parents don’t get to fool around with this, it keeps the age spread of the cohort consistent and better serves everyone involved.

Ok. Except kids can be delayed because they don't all reach milestones at the exact same time. Especially true for the very youngest in class. What they need is simply more time. You can ignore that and stick your fingers in your ears all you want, but delaying entry is very beneficial for some kids. I would do it all over gain given the chance. It was the right choice for us. When he got to kindergarten his fine and gross motor delays had resolved and he was much better able to access the kindergarten curriculum and get the most out of it. That busybodies might disagree would never be a factor in the decision making. I know you don't care about my kid, so I have to do what's best for him.

+1million. Hysterical that anyone thinks an arbitrary date set by the government 50 years ago would compel me to do something against my better judgment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I sent my August bday boy. His best friend is an August bday boy who was held back. They’re all friends. I don’t think any of us have regrets.

When it was time for K, I said to myself - is there any actual reason to hold him back or would I be doing it for competitive reasons? There was no actual reason to hold him back. I felt he had been there / done that with preschool and would like not gain much from an additional year.

He has a lot of grit, which I attitude to trying to keep up when he was younger but idk - maybe he’s just like that.

YMMV.

+1. It doesn’t really matter much in the end. I do feel like the people who redshirted fell into 1 of 2 buckets. First bucket was people did it because even though the child was developmentally ready, they were anxious/insecure/competitive and felt this would give their kid an advantage. Second bucket was people whose kids had some not-yet-fully-understood delays. These kids all ultimately ended up with SN diagnoses of various flavors and while the parents had hoped the extra year would confer “readiness” the kids still had the same challenges a year later and the parents needed to address the needs directly.

My own kids were summer bday preemie twins. They were very academically ready for K and would have been bored with an extra preschool year. One did have mild SNs but he was not the only K kid who couldn’t sit still on the rug for extended periods of time. They’re older now and I don’t have regrets at all. They have a few friends a year older and you can’t really tell the difference. Most of the summer bday kids in our school went on time.

The special needs kids make sense but only if you are going to get them help during the year you hold them back. Ignoring the issues and holding them back isn't going to fix anything, just make them a year older and a year lost in treatment.

Except gaining a year of maturity helps a lot. Holding back isn't ignoring at all, in fact its exactly what some kids need. Spending $$$ on crap treatments wastes everyone's time and money. Why ignore the most obvious solution? It's bizarre that you think anything and everything comes before that. You sound disingenuous.

Young kids should not be mature and you have unrealistic expectations. You need to get your immature child help if it’s bad enough to hold back. Lazy parenting.