NOT redshirting an August birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

This is exactly where the discussion belongs as prek is when some people make this decision. If you’re uneasy or triggered by this, that’s on you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

It’s likely this rabidly defensive PP is doubling down on the redshirting-is-life train over many many pages of posts because, perhaps, they sanctimoniously held back their little snowflake who is struggling rather than thriving. She doth protests too much and all that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

It’s likely this rabidly defensive PP is doubling down on the redshirting-is-life train over many many pages of posts because, perhaps, they sanctimoniously held back their little snowflake who is struggling rather than thriving. She doth protests too much and all that.

Oh crazy anti redshirter. Your crazy is on full display here. You keep this topic so lively.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

It’s likely this rabidly defensive PP is doubling down on the redshirting-is-life train over many many pages of posts because, perhaps, they sanctimoniously held back their little snowflake who is struggling rather than thriving. She doth protests too much and all that.

Oh crazy anti redshirter. Your crazy is on full display here. You keep this topic so lively.

Bless your heart. I can see where your 7 year old kindergartener learned to be a bully.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

It’s likely this rabidly defensive PP is doubling down on the redshirting-is-life train over many many pages of posts because, perhaps, they sanctimoniously held back their little snowflake who is struggling rather than thriving. She doth protests too much and all that.

DP, but you’re a jerk.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I redshirted all my summer birthday boys because so much of male self esteem is derived from sports acumen. Things like strength, agility, coordination and quick twitch are linked to maturation. Being an entire school year younger then some of your teammates can be frustrating and defeating to young boys.

My late birthday boy is so big in the 1st grade, I find ithe idea ridiculous for him to be in kindergarten. He's one of the youngest, but one of the biggest, the strongest. It would be irresponsible for him to play with lighter, more fragile younger kids in K.

Also, my kid is smart. Not like, 100% on the dibels or anything, but he keeps up, and when he's older, that's when it's going to show.

The things that get me in these discussions:

- the idea that a child gets an advantage by being older (the kid is just older, not more intelligent, and he knows it).
- the idea that immaturity (temporary) is solved by a basically permanent parental decision at a point in time that eventual maturity is unknown!
-- as others have said, you are messing up the kid cohort. Either they are 4-5 or they are 4-5-6-7. It's ridiculous.

I have an emotional stake in this. I was held back, by my mother's decision. She was socially anxious (wanted me to reflect well upon her). I ended up being a whole year older than my friends, too tall too early, and also super high IQ. I had ADHD. I would have been much better off not having been held back, or better off not having her as a mother. My instinct, in these conversations, is to wonder which parents are consumed with their own egos, at expense of child.

OTOH, I know that lots of people want their late boys who are smaller to get the advantage. I'm angry because I was a girl, and we don't like to be older and taller than our friends! I told my mother all about how I felt, and cried every day for approx 365+365 days, and she did not give me any consideration. So, hold back if you must, but don't be a mentally ill, horrible parent, only concerned about your own self. It will be obvious to your kid eventually, and they will hate you, even if they managed to get a good life by their own wits.

I’m pretty sure redshirting is the least of your problems.

Tell me more about your ideas.

Start your own thread.

I don't need to, I am on topic. Should you hold your child back? Do you want to be on a forum in 20 years defending your decision? Keep your kid on the school's grade level. I know this varies by state. May vary if public/private. Can see changing grades based on that - keep your kid with his peers.

I’m married to a very successful and well adjusted man who was redshirted decades ago. He doesn’t hate his mom. She’s a pretty nice lady too. They don’t all end up like you. Guess these anecdotes cancel each other out.

Good for y'all. Anecdotes are relatable or not. I told a story. You (or your dh) do not relate. Great, I am so happy you had happy families, cheers. My story was not meant to say that all mentally ill people hold their children back, except that it may be a thing that some mentally ill do, and then normally effed up people, and then also maybe some reasonable people. I would like to point out that some people who hold back are not in the best category here.

You could say that about any parenting decision. Or people who have kids at all.

Maybe but at the same time NO. Good parents make good relationships,. And that makes it flow from there.

So it has nothing to do with redshirting. I can think of so many other damaging things people do to their kids. This one barely registers considering it works out so well for so many kids.

You seem prettey committed to it, so whatever you want to do with your kid's life! I was uneasy to see this was Infants/preK forum. Your kids aren't even in school yet.

It’s likely this rabidly defensive PP is doubling down on the redshirting-is-life train over many many pages of posts because, perhaps, they sanctimoniously held back their little snowflake who is struggling rather than thriving. She doth protests too much and all that.

Oh crazy anti redshirter. Your crazy is on full display here. You keep this topic so lively.

Bless your heart. I can see where your 7 year old kindergartener learned to be a bully.

If you actually had facts and logic on your side to help you make your case, you wouldn’t have to resort to childish retorts and personal attacks. Just sayin’.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you’re planning to go to private school for a while, you are going to follow their rules. Someone mentioned that these school have “unofficial” cut offs and I completely agree with that. Redshirting is very common in private schools, at least the ones I’m familiar with. Not just with boys but also girls.

My own experience is that it’s either accept it or leave. And it is very unfortunate that this is such a big thing. If your child was a summer kid, their “immaturity” will be blamed on their birth month. But if your kid happens to be born between October-May, then their “immaturity” is considered age appropriate, because they’re just a kid, and they’re too old to be redshirted anyway. So they get a pass.

Trying to decide if I agree with the bolded. I do sometimes think my August kid (not redshirted) is among the more immature of her grade cohort, and I do often remind myself that she's at least a few months younger than most kids, and almost a full year younger than some. But I've never felt like anyone else considers her too immature for her grade, or seems resentful of her immaturity. I think it matters that her immaturity does not tend to be disruptive, and mostly manifests as her being a bit more timid socially and more prone to tears when upset than most of her classmates.

She's in K though -- tears are not that uncommon and none of these kids, even the redshirted ones, have the social scene all figured out (though some of them like to pretend they do). I guess I feel like my kid's immaturity is viewed as age appropriate even though she's a summer kid, but if she was acting out in ways that demanded a ton of teacher time and resources, they likely would blame it on her birth date. So it might be something of a case-by-case situation.

In k. The social scene is about the parents friendships. They control everything.

[Anonymous]

The people who red-shirt their kids for no reason other than to gain a supposed "advantage" in life are the same people who recline their seats in airplanes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The people who red-shirt their kids for no reason other than to gain a supposed "advantage" in life are the same people who recline their seats in airplanes.

Ok that made me lol. Spot on.

[Anonymous]

I think what we could probably all agree on if we took 200 giant steps back from this issue and didn't see it through the prism of our own experiences is that there is very little positive or negative impacts associated with sending your child early or late. There are kids who are sent early who struggle socially because they are immature and who may have not struggled as much had they been sent a year later and conversely, there are kids who are sent late who feel uncomfortable about being the oldest and are teased for it and struggle because their peers seem immature and they develop earlier than the majority of their classmates (my experience). Academically, most studies show that older kids may have a slight advantage initially as they may have a slightly longer attention span and/or may have already been exposed to the material, but like most things -- everything normalizes a year or two in. Which makes sense.

I feel bad for teachers who sometimes have to teach kids in very different places academically but I think most kids will thrive regardless of when they are sent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people who red-shirt their kids for no reason other than to gain a supposed "advantage" in life are the same people who recline their seats in airplanes.

Ok that made me lol. Spot on.

Yes!