UVA Greek System

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and joined a sorority at UVA and loved my house and my friends in the house, and had an overall positive experience. It's been about 20 years at this point though, so it's not updated info.

I actually decided to rush as a "why not give it a try" kind of thing and ended up finding a house where I felt a good vibe and joined. But I had plenty of friends in other activities and from home (NoVa) so it would have been fine with me if it hadn't worked out. I lived in the house one year and with non-sorority friends other years.

As someone rushing I just thought it was fun to meet a lot of new people and thought maybe I would find a place that clicked for me. I had a relatively easy time of it because I was MC (more middle-middle class, not UMC), conventionally attractive, and am good at small talk. I could tell pretty quickly where I would NOT fit in at a house even though they asked me back (like the super rich sororities where they asked where I "summered"). The person rushing is selecting their house as much as the house is selecting its pledge class and I think if you approach it with that mindset it's not so stressful.

I could write a book about the pros and cons of the Greek system, but unless things have changed most of the houses will be made up of women who are down to earth and focused on academics, volunteer work, and taking care of each other. Some houses will dirty rush and most won't. Even so, people will tend to gravitate to a house where they have similarities with the women already in the house.

I don’t believe that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they choose based on looks? I am genuinely asking what kind of person would choose that?

A human person? You realize that people select for “looks” all the time? Whether friends, dating, employment, or pretty much anything. It’s hard-wired in our DNA.

Actually, no normal people don't do that. I don't select friends or people I hire based on their looks. I hire people based on their resume/what they offer for the job they are being hired (nope, don't work for a modeling agency, so looks are not part of the job). I select friends for the genuine people they are, how they treat others, etc, definately not worried about what people look like or how much money they have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

Insecurities? I'm not the PP, but I attended a college where Rush was held during new student week. yeah, 3rd day on campus rush started. Classes were still 6 days away from starting. Most had only met kids in their dorm or in their "new student week" group. A future friend and I watched as the other 40+ girls on our floor all rushed. On Monday, X, Y and Z were their "top" sororities, on Tuesday after not being called back by x, y or z, then A, B and C were their "top
" ones they must absolutely get into. And it chances again on Wed based on who "selected" them for the next round. There were lots of tears and genuine being upset because people they had just met "didn't want them" back. These poor girls had barely had time to meet any new people (2-3 days) and were now essentially allowing the rush system to select their friends. I watched girls who had seemingly enjoyed hanging out the first 2-3 days (my roommate and my future friend's roommate) and looked like they could be good friends. However, their paths went different ways when they got into very different sororities (tier-wise). Rush continued thru the first 2-3 weeks of classes. These girls were way more focused on Rushing than their actual academics during that time.

So while I'm not a fan of the greek system, I think it is definitely much better if Rush doesn't happen until at least January of freshman year. Let kids adjust to campus, make friends, join clubs, attend CLASSES, etc before they can rush. Let them be social beings and meet people, socialize and find their place first. There is already so much change going on fall semester, let kids adjust first. Then rush in January

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

Insecurities? I'm not the PP, but I attended a college where Rush was held during new student week. yeah, 3rd day on campus rush started. Classes were still 6 days away from starting. Most had only met kids in their dorm or in their "new student week" group. A future friend and I watched as the other 40+ girls on our floor all rushed. On Monday, X, Y and Z were their "top" sororities, on Tuesday after not being called back by x, y or z, then A, B and C were their "top
" ones they must absolutely get into. And it chances again on Wed based on who "selected" them for the next round. There were lots of tears and genuine being upset because people they had just met "didn't want them" back. These poor girls had barely had time to meet any new people (2-3 days) and were now essentially allowing the rush system to select their friends. I watched girls who had seemingly enjoyed hanging out the first 2-3 days (my roommate and my future friend's roommate) and looked like they could be good friends. However, their paths went different ways when they got into very different sororities (tier-wise). Rush continued thru the first 2-3 weeks of classes. These girls were way more focused on Rushing than their actual academics during that time.

So while I'm not a fan of the greek system, I think it is definitely much better if Rush doesn't happen until at least January of freshman year. Let kids adjust to campus, make friends, join clubs, attend CLASSES, etc before they can rush. Let them be social beings and meet people, socialize and find their place first. There is already so much change going on fall semester, let kids adjust first. Then rush in January

And guess what? This thread is about UVA rush and it starts on Saturday so no need to proselytize the need for January rush when that is how it is at UVA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

Insecurities? I'm not the PP, but I attended a college where Rush was held during new student week. yeah, 3rd day on campus rush started. Classes were still 6 days away from starting. Most had only met kids in their dorm or in their "new student week" group. A future friend and I watched as the other 40+ girls on our floor all rushed. On Monday, X, Y and Z were their "top" sororities, on Tuesday after not being called back by x, y or z, then A, B and C were their "top
" ones they must absolutely get into. And it chances again on Wed based on who "selected" them for the next round. There were lots of tears and genuine being upset because people they had just met "didn't want them" back. These poor girls had barely had time to meet any new people (2-3 days) and were now essentially allowing the rush system to select their friends. I watched girls who had seemingly enjoyed hanging out the first 2-3 days (my roommate and my future friend's roommate) and looked like they could be good friends. However, their paths went different ways when they got into very different sororities (tier-wise). Rush continued thru the first 2-3 weeks of classes. These girls were way more focused on Rushing than their actual academics during that time.

So while I'm not a fan of the greek system, I think it is definitely much better if Rush doesn't happen until at least January of freshman year. Let kids adjust to campus, make friends, join clubs, attend CLASSES, etc before they can rush. Let them be social beings and meet people, socialize and find their place first. There is already so much change going on fall semester, let kids adjust first. Then rush in January

And guess what? This thread is about UVA rush and it starts on Saturday so no need to proselytize the need for January rush when that is how it is at UVA.

Wow---check your attitude

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

Insecurities? I'm not the PP, but I attended a college where Rush was held during new student week. yeah, 3rd day on campus rush started. Classes were still 6 days away from starting. Most had only met kids in their dorm or in their "new student week" group. A future friend and I watched as the other 40+ girls on our floor all rushed. On Monday, X, Y and Z were their "top" sororities, on Tuesday after not being called back by x, y or z, then A, B and C were their "top
" ones they must absolutely get into. And it chances again on Wed based on who "selected" them for the next round. There were lots of tears and genuine being upset because people they had just met "didn't want them" back. These poor girls had barely had time to meet any new people (2-3 days) and were now essentially allowing the rush system to select their friends. I watched girls who had seemingly enjoyed hanging out the first 2-3 days (my roommate and my future friend's roommate) and looked like they could be good friends. However, their paths went different ways when they got into very different sororities (tier-wise). Rush continued thru the first 2-3 weeks of classes. These girls were way more focused on Rushing than their actual academics during that time.

So while I'm not a fan of the greek system, I think it is definitely much better if Rush doesn't happen until at least January of freshman year. Let kids adjust to campus, make friends, join clubs, attend CLASSES, etc before they can rush. Let them be social beings and meet people, socialize and find their place first. There is already so much change going on fall semester, let kids adjust first. Then rush in January

And guess what? This thread is about UVA rush and it starts on Saturday so no need to proselytize the need for January rush when that is how it is at UVA.

Wow---check your attitude

It’s just tiresome when people come onto these threads to discuss why they dislike the Greek system when that is not the question asked. You’ve had opportunity to discuss your perspective (which I fully agree with btw) many times on other Greek life threads. We get it and uva gets it so they don’t do fall
Rush. End of story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

Insecurities? I'm not the PP, but I attended a college where Rush was held during new student week. yeah, 3rd day on campus rush started. Classes were still 6 days away from starting. Most had only met kids in their dorm or in their "new student week" group. A future friend and I watched as the other 40+ girls on our floor all rushed. On Monday, X, Y and Z were their "top" sororities, on Tuesday after not being called back by x, y or z, then A, B and C were their "top
" ones they must absolutely get into. And it chances again on Wed based on who "selected" them for the next round. There were lots of tears and genuine being upset because people they had just met "didn't want them" back. These poor girls had barely had time to meet any new people (2-3 days) and were now essentially allowing the rush system to select their friends. I watched girls who had seemingly enjoyed hanging out the first 2-3 days (my roommate and my future friend's roommate) and looked like they could be good friends. However, their paths went different ways when they got into very different sororities (tier-wise). Rush continued thru the first 2-3 weeks of classes. These girls were way more focused on Rushing than their actual academics during that time.

So while I'm not a fan of the greek system, I think it is definitely much better if Rush doesn't happen until at least January of freshman year. Let kids adjust to campus, make friends, join clubs, attend CLASSES, etc before they can rush. Let them be social beings and meet people, socialize and find their place first. There is already so much change going on fall semester, let kids adjust first. Then rush in January

Bingo. My daughter's school does have rush in January, before classes start, but because she had already made a bunch of friends during fall semester, she chose not to rush at all. None of her friends are, either. I was grateful she had an entire semester to make friends without any Greek/rush activity to sway her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and joined a sorority at UVA and loved my house and my friends in the house, and had an overall positive experience. It's been about 20 years at this point though, so it's not updated info.

I actually decided to rush as a "why not give it a try" kind of thing and ended up finding a house where I felt a good vibe and joined. But I had plenty of friends in other activities and from home (NoVa) so it would have been fine with me if it hadn't worked out. I lived in the house one year and with non-sorority friends other years.

As someone rushing I just thought it was fun to meet a lot of new people and thought maybe I would find a place that clicked for me. I had a relatively easy time of it because I was MC (more middle-middle class, not UMC), conventionally attractive, and am good at small talk. I could tell pretty quickly where I would NOT fit in at a house even though they asked me back (like the super rich sororities where they asked where I "summered"). The person rushing is selecting their house as much as the house is selecting its pledge class and I think if you approach it with that mindset it's not so stressful.

I could write a book about the pros and cons of the Greek system, but unless things have changed most of the houses will be made up of women who are down to earth and focused on academics, volunteer work, and taking care of each other. Some houses will dirty rush and most won't. Even so, people will tend to gravitate to a house where they have similarities with the women already in the house.

I don’t believe that.

100% true. DP from a top tier sorority. I wasn’t asked that because I was preselected, but it gets asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and joined a sorority at UVA and loved my house and my friends in the house, and had an overall positive experience. It's been about 20 years at this point though, so it's not updated info.

I actually decided to rush as a "why not give it a try" kind of thing and ended up finding a house where I felt a good vibe and joined. But I had plenty of friends in other activities and from home (NoVa) so it would have been fine with me if it hadn't worked out. I lived in the house one year and with non-sorority friends other years.

As someone rushing I just thought it was fun to meet a lot of new people and thought maybe I would find a place that clicked for me. I had a relatively easy time of it because I was MC (more middle-middle class, not UMC), conventionally attractive, and am good at small talk. I could tell pretty quickly where I would NOT fit in at a house even though they asked me back (like the super rich sororities where they asked where I "summered"). The person rushing is selecting their house as much as the house is selecting its pledge class and I think if you approach it with that mindset it's not so stressful.

I could write a book about the pros and cons of the Greek system, but unless things have changed most of the houses will be made up of women who are down to earth and focused on academics, volunteer work, and taking care of each other. Some houses will dirty rush and most won't. Even so, people will tend to gravitate to a house where they have similarities with the women already in the house.

I don’t believe that.

100% true. DP from a top tier sorority. I wasn’t asked that because I was preselected, but it gets asked.

I’m the poster from earlier who was asked that during rush I answered honestly that my family didn’t have a usual vacation spot and I generally worked all summer as a lifeguard. The girl who asked me wasn’t being snobby or rude, my impression was that she was asking a normal question for her and her social experience. I was asked back to that house for the next round so I didn’t feel discriminated against for not being super wealthy. Ultimately I was a better fit at a different house I just think I figured it out before they did! It’s like weird platonic group speed dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I rushed and joined a sorority at UVA and loved my house and my friends in the house, and had an overall positive experience. It's been about 20 years at this point though, so it's not updated info.

I actually decided to rush as a "why not give it a try" kind of thing and ended up finding a house where I felt a good vibe and joined. But I had plenty of friends in other activities and from home (NoVa) so it would have been fine with me if it hadn't worked out. I lived in the house one year and with non-sorority friends other years.

As someone rushing I just thought it was fun to meet a lot of new people and thought maybe I would find a place that clicked for me. I had a relatively easy time of it because I was MC (more middle-middle class, not UMC), conventionally attractive, and am good at small talk. I could tell pretty quickly where I would NOT fit in at a house even though they asked me back (like the super rich sororities where they asked where I "summered"). The person rushing is selecting their house as much as the house is selecting its pledge class and I think if you approach it with that mindset it's not so stressful.

I could write a book about the pros and cons of the Greek system, but unless things have changed most of the houses will be made up of women who are down to earth and focused on academics, volunteer work, and taking care of each other. Some houses will dirty rush and most won't. Even so, people will tend to gravitate to a house where they have similarities with the women already in the house.

I don’t believe that.

100% true. DP from a top tier sorority. I wasn’t asked that because I was preselected, but it gets asked.

I’m the poster from earlier who was asked that during rush I answered honestly that my family didn’t have a usual vacation spot and I generally worked all summer as a lifeguard. The girl who asked me wasn’t being snobby or rude, my impression was that she was asking a normal question for her and her social experience. I was asked back to that house for the next round so I didn’t feel discriminated against for not being super wealthy. Ultimately I was a better fit at a different house I just think I figured it out before they did! It’s like weird platonic group speed dating.

OK, so one woman asked you where you "summered". How does that become a cross-the-board statement above that you were "super rich sororities. . . asked where I summered"? One person does not make an entire organization. Stop exaggerating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two at UVA both in Greek system, both in houses considered “middle tier” meaning not the super rich people. Most of the sororities are pretty low key, there are 15 of them so really a good range. Going through rush she’ll get to meet all of them and then both sides whittle down the list as rush goes on. As long as she doesn’t have hopes for any particular house, she will be fine. Dies for mine are about $800-1000 per semester, more the first semester. There are wide variances on dues FYI depending on the house.

immigrant here who is totally clueless on Greek life... can you explain more what "tier" means... are these fraternities/sororities sorted out by economic status?

It is just part of the grossness.

My kid chose schools that ban organizations which are not open to all students.

Please don’t think that Greek life is embraced by most Americans.

"Most Americans" don't go to four year colleges. The Greek experience is a college one for those who choose to participate.

Obviously, yes. But I did not want this immigrant to think of this choice as American, or even chosen by most American college students (and to understand that many progressive families avoid schools that still allow Greek organizations on campus).

This is laughable and completely inaccurate. So wrong.

NP here. Certainly one family is not a trend, but this is absolutely true of my family. Whenever my kids talk about UVA we end up circling around to the Greek scene, though I have heard from some (and believe them) that there are sororities for normal kids, not just pretty and rich ones. And in fact, segregation by wealth is common in universities, even outside of the Greek scene, simply because some kids can afford to go out all of the time, go on expensive spring break trips, etc. and others can't... so they sort of segregate over the course of freshman year.

What I hate about Greek life is the rush system, even if it is organized more humanely than in years' past. At its heart, you are taking teenagers who are naturally insecure about themselves and how the world sees them. And who are almost always away from the security blanket of home for the first time. And putting them through a process where their peers are judging them based on relatively little information and a limited timeframe and very explicitly grouping them into "people they like" and "people they don't like." (or worse, "people who are not good enough for us." That's a tough situation for anyone, but if you had to pick one time in your life where it is particularly problematic, it is late adolescence when you are away from home for the first time.

This is one of the reasons that many schools have pushed Rush back to January-- the kids are on a bit more solid ground and not the first weeks away from home. But even so, I strongly encourage my kids to consider this in the college selection decision, and my oldest dd (now in college) -- who rarely considered my opinion on many aspects-- tended to concur on this one and had a column in her college wish-list spreadsheet about the prevalence of sororities, and warns her younger sisters whenever they speak about a school where Greek life is big.

You are projecting your own insecurities on to your children.

Insecurities? I'm not the PP, but I attended a college where Rush was held during new student week. yeah, 3rd day on campus rush started. Classes were still 6 days away from starting. Most had only met kids in their dorm or in their "new student week" group. A future friend and I watched as the other 40+ girls on our floor all rushed. On Monday, X, Y and Z were their "top" sororities, on Tuesday after not being called back by x, y or z, then A, B and C were their "top
" ones they must absolutely get into. And it chances again on Wed based on who "selected" them for the next round. There were lots of tears and genuine being upset because people they had just met "didn't want them" back. These poor girls had barely had time to meet any new people (2-3 days) and were now essentially allowing the rush system to select their friends. I watched girls who had seemingly enjoyed hanging out the first 2-3 days (my roommate and my future friend's roommate) and looked like they could be good friends. However, their paths went different ways when they got into very different sororities (tier-wise). Rush continued thru the first 2-3 weeks of classes. These girls were way more focused on Rushing than their actual academics during that time.

So while I'm not a fan of the greek system, I think it is definitely much better if Rush doesn't happen until at least January of freshman year. Let kids adjust to campus, make friends, join clubs, attend CLASSES, etc before they can rush. Let them be social beings and meet people, socialize and find their place first. There is already so much change going on fall semester, let kids adjust first. Then rush in January

Which is the UVA system. Can we PLEASE keep to UVA. Other comments are irrelevant!

[Anonymous]

Sorority rush starts in Saturday so just wanted to wish everyone luck it anyone’s DC’s are rushing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
OP can start here for large sample of non-objective UVA strat rankings.

https://www.greekrank.com/uni/35/sororities/byrank/

Ugh. I couldn't get past "top tier girls." Yuck. So glad my daughter found a great group of friends and none of them decided to rush.

It’s just a term and mostly just applies to wealth at UVA. It doesn’t mean they are any better than anyone else but girls have to be mature enough to understand that. Generally they do and are very happy where they end up. Others will drop out of rush and it could be a humbling experience for some. Frankly it’s not THAT bad even if the process is painful when it’s happening. My DD had a very tough and humbling rush compared to her friends but she now says she wouldn’t be happy in any other sorority than the one she’s in. She ended up in the right place. One thing that they will hear throughout rush is “trust the process” and while I felt for my DD last year and didn’t want anyone to say those words to me at the time, it really was true. I will also say that while her first year best friends ended up at several different sororities, they all remain friends and no one feels better than anyone else. My dd knows several people in top tier sororities and none of them are judgmental of her or consider her “less than”. It’s just not as bad as some anti Greek people think.

I'm sorry - but with every post you're just making this sound worse and worse. I have no idea why some girls (and guys) allow themselves to be "rated" by their peers, but to each their own.

What do you think they are all doing on social media, Greek or non-Greek, PP?

Many do that, but my kids and majority of friends in HS did not. My DD has one good friend who is like that---she wouldn't associate with my kid at the HS because of fear of treatment of being excluded by the "popular" group. My own kid felt sad for her behaving like that and remains friends and just knows that in certain situations she will be ignored by that friend. My kid (and her other group of friends with this kid) actually feels bad for that friend because she is so ultra focused on what others think---went to a party college and was depressed because she didn't get into one of the top 3 sororities---some of her social media posts are cringeworthy imo. Rest of her friends do not behave anything like that.

[Anonymous]

Haven’t read the whole thread. I was KD at UVA was a great group of young women who were serious about school/life, but still had a lot of fun too. It was perfect for me and I was hesitant at the time to Rush. I’m very glad I did. Made some amazing friends. My boyfriend all through college was Sigma Chi and at that time, were similar, nice guys- who were smart and had fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haven’t read the whole thread. I was KD at UVA was a great group of young women who were serious about school/life, but still had a lot of fun too. It was perfect for me and I was hesitant at the time to Rush. I’m very glad I did. Made some amazing friends. My boyfriend all through college was Sigma Chi and at that time, were similar, nice guys- who were smart and had fun.

Wow! An actual post from someone who was at UVA. And a nice one, to boot! Imagine that!