UVA Greek System

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

I'm the PP whose daughter didn't get the results she wanted after the first round. The good news is that because rush is in the spring at UVA, she already has close friends that she loves (hoping the group doesn't break up after rush and gets getting into different houses). With my younger kids, timing of rush is definitely something I will suggest they consider.

I went through rush at UVA long ago and it absolutely broke up bonds that had formed among girls in my dorm during Fall semester. It really makes me kind of bummed to think back on.

Pledge classes are supposed to bond. I think the houses would see sisters bonding with each other at the expense of prior friends as a feature and not a bug

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

Im the PP who posted this, honestly it was a couple days of sadness, and everyone will experience that, but then ultimately by the end of the week, she ended up in the right place with 50+ other new pledges. So was the few days of sadness worth it, yes. She should have gone in more open minded, which is what she's trying to say to PNMs right now. The ones that are most sad are those who expected to be in the choosing position after first round, but ultimately they are not. The computers choose. Of the 15 sororities at UVA, only one of them is probably not worth joining and may be on the outs soon.

If the right place is the house that takes everyone the other houses don't want, it's both obvious to everyone involved and a huge blow those those girls' self esteem. Everyone talking about the right house seems like they actually landed in a house that wanted them and that they wanted, and that's great, but there are also houses that these girls don't want and who are happy to take anyone who will pay dues.

There is only one of 15 houses at UVA that I would say is described this way. I believe they had 8 pledges last year while the other houses had over 50. So that means there are 14 sororities that these girls should be giving a fair chance. All I'm saying is that they should keep going, meet more people and then decide. Eliminating a sorority because it's not as popular as another is short sighted. At least get to know the girls before you decide it's not for you. My DD had one of her list that she liked, but others that she did not. She still went through the process but decided that if she didn't get a bid to the house she liked, she didn't see herself in the second choice so she would not accept that bid. Ultimately it worked out fine, but sure, there are houses that may not feel like the right fit, and that's completely fair, but if you are judging the sorority on one or two conversations, that is not fair to anyone.

Read PP's post about her daughter withdrawing after receiving no invitations to philanthropy day. Sometimes I think these "you'll land somewhere great because I did" posts are from women who wanted tri delta and got DG instead rather than women like PP's daughter.

She absolutely did receive invites, because that's how it works. Dropping out because you didn't like a house after ONE visit is not really giving it a chance but the PP said her DD was not really sold on the idea anyway, so I guess that makes sense that she just wasn't into continuing. Each time you go through a round, you meet other sisters and you learn more about the sisterhood. She could have just been stuck with someone who was not a good fit with her the first day, and could have met her new best friend the second day, but again that's the kids choice to continue or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

So four houses expressed interest and she disappointed?

I don't understand. The first days are such a whirlwind...wouldn't you want to go check those four out and see them without the hurry of the first round?

I'm pretty sure that everyone at UVA who wants to join a sorority is guaranteed a spot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

I'm the PP whose daughter didn't get the results she wanted after the first round. The good news is that because rush is in the spring at UVA, she already has close friends that she loves (hoping the group doesn't break up after rush and gets getting into different houses). With my younger kids, timing of rush is definitely something I will suggest they consider.

I went through rush at UVA long ago and it absolutely broke up bonds that had formed among girls in my dorm during Fall semester. It really makes me kind of bummed to think back on.

My DD rushed last year and had a GREAT hall, full of best friends. Almost all of them rushed. Several dropped out during the process, and the rest went to hhmmm...7 or 8 different sororities? It was hard, especially for my DD because no one else on her hall, or any of her friends really, went to her sorority. She currently lives with a girl in another sorority and her other best friend is also in another house. That said, she has really grown closer to her sisters over this year so while she may be less close to some from her hall, she has gained SO many more friends. It is possible to keep your old friends as well as make new ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

So four houses expressed interest and she disappointed?

I don't understand. The first days are such a whirlwind...wouldn't you want to go check those four out and see them without the hurry of the first round?

I'm pretty sure that everyone at UVA who wants to join a sorority is guaranteed a spot.

I'm not the person who said their kid withdrew. this above was my DDs experience and she did not withdraw and is in the right house for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

So four houses expressed interest and she disappointed?

I don't understand. The first days are such a whirlwind...wouldn't you want to go check those four out and see them without the hurry of the first round?

I'm pretty sure that everyone at UVA who wants to join a sorority is guaranteed a spot.

There is no guaranteed bid at UVA. (Although it sounds like there might be one house that nobody wants that will take anyone interested.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

So four houses expressed interest and she disappointed?

I don't understand. The first days are such a whirlwind...wouldn't you want to go check those four out and see them without the hurry of the first round?

I'm pretty sure that everyone at UVA who wants to join a sorority is guaranteed a spot.

There is no guaranteed bid at UVA. (Although it sounds like there might be one house that nobody wants that will take anyone interested.)

That is true that there are no guaranteed bids at UVA other than if you do make it to Preference day, you ARE guaranteed a bid from one of the two remaining houses if you stick out the process. The fact is that alot of the girls are just going for status and want the top tier houses so they drop out because they don't think the other houses are good enough for them. Sure there are some who just don't feel a connection with the houses they have left, but again if you don't at least go through the next couple of steps, how would you really know if it's not right for you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

Thank you for your kind reply! Unfortunately, she already withdrew before she texted me this morning. She went into the first round with a completely open mind. She didn't look into rankings or anything because she didn't want to be influenced by that. She felt like it went well and had a good connection with about half of the houses. None of those invited her back for philanthropy day. (I'm not sure how many, if any, invited her back.). She wasn't 100% in on rushing and that might have come through during the interviews. Or maybe the houses she liked just didn't like her. I think she may reach out to some of the houses (not going to bother with the top tier) and see what happens. If that doesn't work out, she may see if her friends end up someplace they like and try to get a bid next year. From what little I know, it seems to help to know someone who can vouch for you.

I am sorry to hear this, but I do understand her disappointment. As I said my DD was there last year. She really debated all day whether she should drop and she sat and talked with her friends and some of them decided to keep going, others didn't. I am 100% sure she was not dropped from all houses, that is not how it works at UVA. Its completely fair that if she didn't like the girls at the houses she had left, I get it, but I wished she'd given them at least one more chance. Best of luck to her and her friends!

I completely agree! She might have clicked with other girls in the house. Oh well, I'm sure it's good for our kids to experience disappointment sometimes (even if it's tough for their parents to see them sad).

She can certainly do COB, just know it's a very haphazard process that she will have to stay on top of.

What is COB?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

Thank you for your kind reply! Unfortunately, she already withdrew before she texted me this morning. She went into the first round with a completely open mind. She didn't look into rankings or anything because she didn't want to be influenced by that. She felt like it went well and had a good connection with about half of the houses. None of those invited her back for philanthropy day. (I'm not sure how many, if any, invited her back.). She wasn't 100% in on rushing and that might have come through during the interviews. Or maybe the houses she liked just didn't like her. I think she may reach out to some of the houses (not going to bother with the top tier) and see what happens. If that doesn't work out, she may see if her friends end up someplace they like and try to get a bid next year. From what little I know, it seems to help to know someone who can vouch for you.

I am sorry to hear this, but I do understand her disappointment. As I said my DD was there last year. She really debated all day whether she should drop and she sat and talked with her friends and some of them decided to keep going, others didn't. I am 100% sure she was not dropped from all houses, that is not how it works at UVA. Its completely fair that if she didn't like the girls at the houses she had left, I get it, but I wished she'd given them at least one more chance. Best of luck to her and her friends!

I completely agree! She might have clicked with other girls in the house. Oh well, I'm sure it's good for our kids to experience disappointment sometimes (even if it's tough for their parents to see them sad).

She can certainly do COB, just know it's a very haphazard process that she will have to stay on top of.

What is COB?

it stands for Continuous Open Bidding. Basically after formal rush is over, the different houses are given a cap on the number they can have in their pledge class based on the number who actually went through rush I believe (but am no expert). The houses can then bring in an additional number over and above the bids they gave out during formal rush. They have COB in fall and in spring. It's very informal and somewhat disorganized with the girls having to reach out to the rush chairs of the houses they are interested in. Because it's so informal, it can be hard to know where you stand, what houses are doing it etc. Most houses do take girls via COB in the fall and spring. My DD heard that only KKG didn't do COB last spring but no idea if that is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

+1
My daughter goes to VT which only has a 19% Greek participation rate. She and her friends decided as freshmen not to rush and I'm so glad they didn't. They have a wonderful group of friends and the last thing any of these girls needed was to go through such a demoralizing experience. Not sure I get the point of it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

+1
My daughter goes to VT which only has a 19% Greek participation rate. She and her friends decided as freshmen not to rush and I'm so glad they didn't. They have a wonderful group of friends and the last thing any of these girls needed was to go through such a demoralizing experience. Not sure I get the point of it all.

My DD is going thru rush at uva this week. She has made plenty of friends in her classes, dorm, clubs she joined, randomly sitting next to strangers in the dining halls, talking to them in the gym, etc. If she gets a bid from a sorority she clicks with, she’ll join. If not, sure she’ll be disappointed but certainly not demoralized. She has enough confidence to know that her worth and happiness are not measured by whether and which sorority she joins. To each their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious how the first rounds went for girls! They got their first cuts this morning i think. My DD is in a sorority doing rush for the first time and she could not believe the arrogance of some of the PNMs coming through. One girl literally refused to give her name and said "i don't need to be here" when my DD tried to talk to her. Some of you parents have not done a good job raising your kids!

It didn’t go well for my DD (definitely not one of the arrogant kids your DD encountered). After talking to her, I think some of her responses to questions weren’t ideal. She is considering trying to rush informally after bid day. I didn’t rush so I have no clue how all of this works.

I am sorry to hear it did not go well, however I'd encourage her to stick out the process a little longer. She can always drop out at the last minute. There are too many stories of COB not working out, that I would be a bit concerned about that. My DD got dropped by all but 4 houses after the first round last year. Four. Was absolutely heartbroken and shocked. Was a very tough day and several of her friends had the same experience, some of them dropped altogether, one did do COB but not to a house that she didn't have on her initial call backlist. Thankfully the house that my DD genuinely had the best conversations with was still on the list and that is where she went. She knew nothing about this sorority, it flies under the radar a bit but she absolutely LOVES it and is loving it more and more even as she goes through rush and gets to know more of the sisters. There are 150+ girls in this house so it may take a while to find the right people, but they are there.

My DD has been passionately telling her story to the PNMs coming through, that she didn't know anything about her sorority and just went based on what was "popular" or what her friends wanted, but ultimately ended up in the right and best place for her.

These stories make me sad. I was in a sorority elsewhere and had a good experience but it was more low key as I recall. I don't think I got dropped but honestly I can not recall the whole process. I am starting to hope my daughter does not end up at a school with a large greek system. I would hate for her to be feeling this way above. Going to college is enough of a transition and I think this sounds like it could really ruin their experience.

+1
My daughter goes to VT which only has a 19% Greek participation rate. She and her friends decided as freshmen not to rush and I'm so glad they didn't. They have a wonderful group of friends and the last thing any of these girls needed was to go through such a demoralizing experience. Not sure I get the point of it all.

My DD is going thru rush at uva this week. She has made plenty of friends in her classes, dorm, clubs she joined, randomly sitting next to strangers in the dining halls, talking to them in the gym, etc. If she gets a bid from a sorority she clicks with, she’ll join. If not, sure she’ll be disappointed but certainly not demoralized. She has enough confidence to know that her worth and happiness are not measured by whether and which sorority she joins. To each their own.

+1 it can be rough for a day or two but this so the right attitude. All of our girls are going to face disappointment at some point, no sense protecting them from it all the time. perhaps, it would be good for personal growth.

[Anonymous]

Apologize for the ignorance of the process. DD is going to be freshman at UVA next year and is planning to rush.

How many steps are there? You meet all the house and then I assume the houses get an allotted number of callbacks. Then there is a second round and further cut?

At some point they reach the bid process ... can someone girls get more than one bid? And do some houses end up offering more girls than spots available due to yield?

Realize there are a lot of questions here. Just look for quick synopsis. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

There are four rounds to recruitment at UVA. The first round the PNM visits every chapter. In the second round, the PNM can have up to 11 invitations. In the third round, the PNM can receive up to 7 invitations. In the fourth round, the preference round the PNM can receive up to three invitations. The PNM then signs a bid card, listing their preferences in rank order. They will then be given a bid or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apologize for the ignorance of the process. DD is going to be freshman at UVA next year and is planning to rush.

How many steps are there? You meet all the house and then I assume the houses get an allotted number of callbacks. Then there is a second round and further cut?

At some point they reach the bid process ... can someone girls get more than one bid? And do some houses end up offering more girls than spots available due to yield?

Realize there are a lot of questions here. Just look for quick synopsis. Thanks!

Each girl gets only one bid after they make their final list (the sororities also submit lists and they are matched). In theory, a girl should get her highest ranked sorority that also selected her. It actually works exactly like the med school residency match.