DD refused to edit her essay..

[Anonymous]

Demand exceeds supply is the explanation. And somebody else had a combination of attributes that ticked more boxes for this entering class. It’s really that simple in most cases. And that variable from year to year — and from school to school.

It may not seem that way at the most coveted schools (e.g. highly qualified kids are “shut out”) but that’s because 90+% of the applicants to these schools are rejected. What really needs to be explained is why someone gets accepted — rejection is the default assumption. And the answer to “why was this kid accepted?” is almost never the essay (and when it is, the writing isn’t the key — it’s the experience being chronicled).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP...you sound like a jerk. If your child is actually applying to "selective schools" they are smart and hard working. They have good grades. They have good test scores. They already have an essay. And what is your response? They are "stubborn", "lazy", and it would be a "waste of an application fee" to submit her application because she isn't doing what you want her to. Really, OP? You are prepared to drop thousands and thousands of dollars on a college education but you think paying under $100 to apply is a "waste"? Nice way to acknowledge your child's accomplishments.

You are acting like a jerk, and, understandably, your kid is refusing to do what you are suggesting. You've turned this into an ugly power struggle. You. The adult.

"Larla. I'm sorry how I've been acting about your essay. Your application is so strong, and your essay is good. Of course I will pay for your applications. I just got a little crazy because I know other kids are getting lots of private help with their essays. You don't need that kind of help, but it's unfair that other kids are getting it and you are not. I was just trying to think of a way to make it more fair for you, but I understand I sounded like a jerk about it. Whatever you decide, it's up to you. I hope you will think about letting someone read your essay and give feedback, but whatever you decide is ok with me. I won't bring it up again."

I agree that op should back off but if you think good grades and scores means a “good essay” that’s just wrong. I think op should be nice but honest-if the essay is bad it’s kinder to clue daughter in (and then shut up. ) “I like the idea but I do think it could use some polishing, honey” or “I think this is nicely written but I think the story of your first kiss might not be quite right for your essay” is much nicer than a bland “your essay is good!” If it isn’t. Having said that, I’d give constructive feedback one time snd if she doesn’t want to do anything about it entirely her call.

Where does OP say the essay was bad? All I saw was OP having some suggestions about "flow". Flow is subjective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP...you sound like a jerk. If your child is actually applying to "selective schools" they are smart and hard working. They have good grades. They have good test scores. They already have an essay. And what is your response? They are "stubborn", "lazy", and it would be a "waste of an application fee" to submit her application because she isn't doing what you want her to. Really, OP? You are prepared to drop thousands and thousands of dollars on a college education but you think paying under $100 to apply is a "waste"? Nice way to acknowledge your child's accomplishments.

You are acting like a jerk, and, understandably, your kid is refusing to do what you are suggesting. You've turned this into an ugly power struggle. You. The adult.

"Larla. I'm sorry how I've been acting about your essay. Your application is so strong, and your essay is good. Of course I will pay for your applications. I just got a little crazy because I know other kids are getting lots of private help with their essays. You don't need that kind of help, but it's unfair that other kids are getting it and you are not. I was just trying to think of a way to make it more fair for you, but I understand I sounded like a jerk about it. Whatever you decide, it's up to you. I hope you will think about letting someone read your essay and give feedback, but whatever you decide is ok with me. I won't bring it up again."

I know my kid, no all high stats kids are hard working, she is smart but would just do the minimum to get an A, won’t do extra work if not required.

Her reason for refusing editing is in order to elaborate to improve the flow(my feedback), she needs to cut other things out due to the word limit, there will be too much rework ..

This...does not change anything.

Flow is subjective, OP. And none of your writing here has convinced me that your ideas are better than your kid's ideas.

But go ahead and play this game of chicken with your kid where you have a tantrum and refuse to pay application fees for her top schools. Will you feel like a winner when she doesn't apply to those schools?

(And FYI: doing the amount of work required to get an A and not creating more trouble for herself is smart. It's called prioritizing and being efficient. Students (and people) who know how to do this are less likely to burn out).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

I do not understand this post. It is incredibly detailed, yet cryptic as to the one point the author is trying to make: that they alone saw the flaw in this student? What was it? What does this have to do with the OP’s inquiry?

Clearly, I was not the only one to see the "flaw" in the essay as the applicant was rejected by all schools except two--and those two accepted nearly all applicants.

One point is that essays that retain the student's voice and inner thoughts will convey the same message to readers whether polished or rough. What is meant to be will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

I do not understand this post. It is incredibly detailed, yet cryptic as to the one point the author is trying to make: that they alone saw the flaw in this student? What was it? What does this have to do with the OP’s inquiry?

Clearly, I was not the only one to see the "flaw" in the essay as the applicant was rejected by all schools except two--and those two accepted nearly all applicants.

One point is that essays that retain the student's voice and inner thoughts will convey the same message to readers whether polished or rough. What is meant to be will be.

DP.

You have no way of knowing that the essay had any impact on admissions (much less that the Admissions people who read it shared your opinion that it was flawed in some particular way and that, had you supervised its revision, they’d have made a different decision). This is complete and utter BS even if you don’t recognize it as such.

There are things beyond grades and scores (e.g. letters of rec) that can be crucial and the parents/student/would-be essay editors don’t have access to, but that all the colleges this student applied to saw.

[Anonymous]

The applications are not due for months. Chill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

I do not understand this post. It is incredibly detailed, yet cryptic as to the one point the author is trying to make: that they alone saw the flaw in this student? What was it? What does this have to do with the OP’s inquiry?

Clearly, I was not the only one to see the "flaw" in the essay as the applicant was rejected by all schools except two--and those two accepted nearly all applicants.

One point is that essays that retain the student's voice and inner thoughts will convey the same message to readers whether polished or rough. What is meant to be will be.

Another poster who doesn't understand. What does the last line in your response mean? Why identify that there's a flaw and then not reveal what it is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

I do not understand this post. It is incredibly detailed, yet cryptic as to the one point the author is trying to make: that they alone saw the flaw in this student? What was it? What does this have to do with the OP’s inquiry?

I read this to mean apply ED and never ever apply for aid. Hooks, excellent essay, and underrepresented geolocation included.

If your HHI is above 125K, don’t bother to apply for aid

[Anonymous]

Leave her alone. It’s her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Several years ago, I read a college application essay that was outstanding with respect to grammar, punctuation, word choice, and flow and was written in a sincere, genuine, and moving tone. The applicant's statistical credentials and an EC were adequate for any Ivy League school, yet she ended up being rejected by all "most selective" schools and ended up at a school with an acceptance rate of almost 90%.

The essay had been reviewed and commented upon by a significant number of experienced college advisors on a international college website after it had been submitted and after the rejections had been received. None understood why this college applicant was not accepted by multiple elite colleges and universities.

I, too, read the essay after the fact. I communicated with the 18 or 19 year old student in writing. I thought that I understood why this student was unsuccessful in the attempt to get admitted to a dozen or so highly selective schools. My communication with the student confirmed that the student did not exhibit the most important qualities sought by the most selective colleges and universities and this was reflected in the student's application essays. This was a student with at least two hooks--resident of an unrepresented state, national award or awards (I forget), and of modest financial resources who had received careful and thorough review of her essay before submission by two trusted teachers at her high school.

I wrote this post to make two points: One, a beautifully crafted essay does not necessarily elevate a highly qualified applicant with hooks to the yes pile. Two, that a meticulously written essay which retains the writer's voice can still be so flawed as to cause a rejection.

My advice: Think before you write, and think when you reread your essay. Never forget your goal and understand that an essay whether polished or crude can and should reflect the true qualities of the individual writer.

I believe that I could have easily "corrected" the student's writing and greatly increased the student's chances for admission to an Ivy or Ivy equivalent school if the student elected to take a gap year, but I did not offer to do so because her writing convinced me that the student had been admitted to the most appropriate school.

I do not understand this post. It is incredibly detailed, yet cryptic as to the one point the author is trying to make: that they alone saw the flaw in this student? What was it? What does this have to do with the OP’s inquiry?

Agree; it made absolutely no sense.

[Anonymous]

In college, I worked as a student reader of admissions essays (I would give an initial review and admissions officer would reread). The biggest mistake I would see is applicants not selling themselves. The essays are like job interview questions - to allow the applicant to give examples that provide insight into the student. The goal is for the reader to like the student and want to learn more about them. A lot of essays were repeats of the applicant's activities ("I spend 10 hours a week at a food bank packing food and distributing the packages" or "I have played soccer for 12 years"). Those are great starting points for essays, and I would sometimes see amazing segues that I can still remember (like a student who wrote about how she wanted to bend (curve) the soccer ball so she researched the physics of it and talked to players of different countries/ages/skill levels about their techniques).