DD refused to edit her essay..

[Anonymous]

She spent an afternoon on what I thought would be the first draft, but she said she’s done, refused to edit or take feedbacks for even slight changes to improve the flow. She has good stats and is applying to some selective schools, I feel it is a waste of the application fee by not taking the essay seriously.
It has been two weeks and she insists she doesn’t need help with her essay. What can I do?

[Anonymous]

Do not do anything. Let her write her own essay and submit it. Your job is done.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes lessons cost money. The waste of an application fee might be the cost of your child learning how to use feedback and how to persevere.

[Anonymous]

if the essay is awful, i wouldn't want to spend the money to apply.

if kid doesn't want you to edit, can kid get a teacher to edit it?

let her pay the app fee that is going to be wasted.

[Anonymous]

Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

[Anonymous]

Who gave the edits?

My brother and his wife are scientists and the edits they suggested for their daughter’s college essay were dreadful. Her version was much better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

[Anonymous]

Not sure my student has even started. Working on the personal statement in English. Hoping we'll have at least a draft in the next week or so.

[Anonymous]

She found it hard to edit due to the word limit. She is unwilling to cut things out in order to add details elsewhere to improve the flow.
It is a waste of application fee when the competitions are spending weeks on theirs with professional help

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

I didn’t say force her I just wouldn’t pay for the application. Having someone proofread an essay is not unethical, many college professors will proofread essays during office hours if asked. The fact that she’s being completely stubborn and unwilling to receive feedback is why I wouldn’t pay for it. If she agreed to meet with a teacher or librarian that could make suggestions I’d be ok with that whether she takes the suggestions and applies them or not. Allowing a child to completely disregard the draft writing process for an essay when they’re applying to college just sets them up to think this will be ok in college as well. The point is to teach the lesson and help expand essay writing abilities and learn to accept feedback as part of the process, not to force changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

I didn’t say force her I just wouldn’t pay for the application. Having someone proofread an essay is not unethical, many college professors will proofread essays during office hours if asked. The fact that she’s being completely stubborn and unwilling to receive feedback is why I wouldn’t pay for it. If she agreed to meet with a teacher or librarian that could make suggestions I’d be ok with that whether she takes the suggestions and applies them or not. Allowing a child to completely disregard the draft writing process for an essay when they’re applying to college just sets them up to think this will be ok in college as well. The point is to teach the lesson and help expand essay writing abilities and learn to accept feedback as part of the process, not to force changes.

DP. There is a difference between proofreading and substantive rewrites. What you described previously is substantive revisions, not proofreading.

[Anonymous]

It's not unethical to have someone check over her essay, people!
That's what our college counselors do if asked at my kids' school.

The issue is really something great, that OP's DD wants to take ownership of it herself. And she's trying to get out of the mother-daughter dynamic.

The problem is she is too naive to know that *everyone* can use another set of eyes on this sort of thing. This is the lesson that should be conveyed.

So have her agree to show it to another adult, anyone besides OP.

[Anonymous]

Are you going to proof and revise all of her college work next year too? If she cannot compose the essay to secure her spot, that’s just what it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell her you will not pay for the application fee until she fixes it. She can fix it or find a way to pay for it herself.

Fix it according to whom???

From an ethical standpoint, the essay should be only the child’s work. Forcing a kid to take someone else’s edits or not apply is absurd and wrong.

I didn’t say force her I just wouldn’t pay for the application. Having someone proofread an essay is not unethical, many college professors will proofread essays during office hours if asked. The fact that she’s being completely stubborn and unwilling to receive feedback is why I wouldn’t pay for it. If she agreed to meet with a teacher or librarian that could make suggestions I’d be ok with that whether she takes the suggestions and applies them or not. Allowing a child to completely disregard the draft writing process for an essay when they’re applying to college just sets them up to think this will be ok in college as well. The point is to teach the lesson and help expand essay writing abilities and learn to accept feedback as part of the process, not to force changes.

It’s her essay. It’s her writing. The college is judging her.

And no, good professors don’t proofread essays. They might point out several examples of errors or poor stylistic choices and then tell the student to carefully read their paper and find similar errors and fix them. They do NOT proofread. Please do not teach your kid that she should ask her college professors to proofread her essay in office hours.

Signed, a writing professor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if the essay is awful, i wouldn't want to spend the money to apply.

if kid doesn't want you to edit, can kid get a teacher to edit it?

let her pay the app fee that is going to be wasted.

No She doesn’t want a teacher and turned down a close relative also, I feel she is just stubborn and lazy.