Teacher made each kid state their pronouns

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is gender Nonconforming and would feel uncomfortable answering this question in front of a group because they are unsure at this point.

its not just parents of cis gendered kids that would have a concern about this.

Yeah, I don't love mandatory pronoun announcements for just this reason. Not everyone is sure, or wants to say, or has decided to come out. Better would just be to make it optional, or just otherwise foster an environment where a kid feels comfortable telling a teacher to use certain pronouns, instead of putting kids on the spot.

But this isn't making someone who isn't ready come out as anything. It's not even about sexuality. I don't understand people who act as though a pronoun is private information. "Sharing pronouns" literally means - this is how I'd like for you (people other than the speaker) to refer to me. If you aren't ready to come out, then share the other pronoun. It's like sharing a nickname or sharing that you prefer to be called by your full name instead of a nickname: "Please call me "x." Please refer to me as "[pronoun]." People read way too much into it, IMO. It doesn't have to be that deep.

Except forcing children to answer any question about themselves or family that‘s personal in nature in a school setting is illegal. This child was in a coerced situation, and not provided with a way out or told they don’t have to answer. Do you not know about school privacy laws? It’s just horrible to do to children regardless.

NP. Based on what law? Seriously, what specific law is your referent here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is gender Nonconforming and would feel uncomfortable answering this question in front of a group because they are unsure at this point.

its not just parents of cis gendered kids that would have a concern about this.

So should the teacher assume they/them?

I’m one of the PPs opposed to what the teacher did and I would support just using they/them until a student decides to identify.

DP. That still implicitly misgenders a whole bunch of kids and puts them in a position of having to accept misgendering or make a formal announcement. That’s not better to an whatever parade of horribles you’re imagining from OP’s scenario.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is gender Nonconforming and would feel uncomfortable answering this question in front of a group because they are unsure at this point.

its not just parents of cis gendered kids that would have a concern about this.

Yeah, I don't love mandatory pronoun announcements for just this reason. Not everyone is sure, or wants to say, or has decided to come out. Better would just be to make it optional, or just otherwise foster an environment where a kid feels comfortable telling a teacher to use certain pronouns, instead of putting kids on the spot.

But this isn't making someone who isn't ready come out as anything. It's not even about sexuality. I don't understand people who act as though a pronoun is private information. "Sharing pronouns" literally means - this is how I'd like for you (people other than the speaker) to refer to me. If you aren't ready to come out, then share the other pronoun. It's like sharing a nickname or sharing that you prefer to be called by your full name instead of a nickname: "Please call me "x." Please refer to me as "[pronoun]." People read way too much into it, IMO. It doesn't have to be that deep.

Except forcing children to answer any question about themselves or family that‘s personal in nature in a school setting is illegal. This child was in a coerced situation, and not provided with a way out or told they don’t have to answer. Do you not know about school privacy laws? It’s just horrible to do to children regardless.

NP. Based on what law? Seriously, what specific law is your referent here?

98.4 Protection of students' privacy in examination, testing, or treatment.
(a) No student shall be required, as part of any program specified in §98.1 (a) or (b), to submit without prior consent to psychiatric examination, testing, or treatment, or psychological examination, testing, or treatment, in which the primary purpose is to reveal information concerning one or more of the following:

(1) Political affiliations;

(2) Mental and psychological problems potentially embarrassing to the student or his or her family;

(3) Sex behavior and attitudes;

(4) Illegal, anti-social, self-incriminating and demeaning behavior;

(5) Critical appraisals of other individuals with whom the student has close family relationships;

(6) Legally recognized privileged and analogous relationships, such as those of lawyers, physicians, and ministers; or

(7) Income, other than that required by law to determine eligibility for participation in a program or for receiving financial assistance under a program.

(b) As used in paragraph (a) of this section, prior consent means:

(1) Prior consent of the student, if the student is an adult or emancipated minor; or

(2) Prior written consent of the parent or guardian, if the student is an unemancipated minor.

(c) As used in paragraph (a) of this section:

(1) Psychiatric or psychological examination or test means a method of obtaining information, including a group activity, that is not directly related to academic instruction and that is designed to elicit information about attitudes, habits, traits, opinions, beliefs or feelings; and

(2) Psychiatric or psychological treatment means an activity involving the planned, systematic use of methods or techniques that are not directly related to academic instruction and that is designed to affect behavioral, emotional, or attitudinal characteristics of an individual or group.

(Authority: 20 U.S.C. 1232h(b))

https://studentprivacy.ed.gov/content/ppra

[Anonymous]

Has OP said what age these kids are, or how they were "forced?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no idea what to do with some of these comments, so I'm just going to drop a resource guide here from GLSEN, which is a well-regarded advocacy group for LGBTQ students:
https://www.glsen.org/activity/model-local-education-agency-policy-on-transgender-nonbinary-students

In particular, I'll drop this line: "Pronouns should never be assumed for any student. Educators and staff should ask all students what pronouns they use, and have a place to document that information in class rosters, databases, etc."

I'm not sure how to interpret the comments that asking for pronouns is bad for gender-questioning or gender non-conforming children. I just did a quick review through materials from the National Center for Transgender Equality, Human Rights Campaign, and GLSEN, and I'm not seeing that reflected in any of the policy or advocacy recommendations. I think it's reasonable for educators to follow the current recommendations from trusted sources in this field.

I also don't understand the comments about "too young". My kids are entering second grade and know about pronouns because we're a queer family with friends and family members that are all over the gender spectrum. This is a totally normal part of our lives. It's only weird if you make it weird.

The only people who don’t want the question asked are parents who are ashamed of their kids and don’t want others knowing their kid is trans, gender nonconforming, etc.

Nobody wants their child to be forced to answer something that makes them uncomfortable.

So if your child is asked the answer to a math question and they feel uncomfortable answering, they shouldn’t have to? By your logic, no one should ever be required to take a test, write a paper or do homework.

A math question has no political or private content. Imagine if children were all forced to state their religion.

Your kid is going to be referred to with pronouns. All this does is asked what pronouns they want people to use. A student who is questioning or who realizes they are trans/nonconforming but who doesn’t want to come out yet doesn’t have to share that in response to this question. They can simply offer the pronouns they have been using to that point, which doesn’t signal anything about what might be going on inside.

The children who question their gender identity are at high risk for being the same children who have comorbid emotional issues which would make dealing with this Surprise social situationdifficultto manage.
. The whole thing is poorly thought through and inappropriate in school

Agreed.

Teacher proudly thought she was being progressive and edgy, but it’s not appropriate for school.

[Anonymous]

I’d file a complaint with the school or county privacy officer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is gender Nonconforming and would feel uncomfortable answering this question in front of a group because they are unsure at this point.

its not just parents of cis gendered kids that would have a concern about this.

Yep. My child has anxiety and the whole pronoun thing causes him a lot of worry. (We’re working on it but he seems to think one can suddenly wake up with a changed gender against their will and he thinks it’s scary.) I agree that anxiety shouldn’t in general be accomodated but it’s a bit absurd to cause anxiety by this stuff that is supposedly inclusive. I chalk it up to age inappropriateness. Not sure where teachers got the idea to treat elementary school students like teenagers.

How old is your child? If your child is much older than about 6, I would be concerned about them because this isn’t rational.

Newsflash, children aren’t rational!! There’s a reason why they are dependent on their parents through adolescence. These gender discussions are age-inappropriate in elementary school.

Unfortunately MCPS completely disagrees. Look at the books in your kids’ elementary school library. Ask your kids about what books the librarian is reading to them. MCPS forces these discussions on kids as early as ES.

Anyone who questions the appropriateness is labeled a bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My child is gender Nonconforming and would feel uncomfortable answering this question in front of a group because they are unsure at this point.

its not just parents of cis gendered kids that would have a concern about this.

So should the teacher assume they/them?

I’m one of the PPs opposed to what the teacher did and I would support just using they/them until a student decides to identify.

DP. That still implicitly misgenders a whole bunch of kids and puts them in a position of having to accept misgendering or make a formal announcement. That’s not better to an whatever parade of horribles you’re imagining from OP’s scenario.

Implicitly misgendering is far better than forcing a questioning child to publicly state a gender that they don’t know they are. Forcing a child to make a declaration they may not be ready to make is a terrible thing to do.