Teacher made each kid state their pronouns

[Anonymous]

I am totally for using whatever pronouns you want, for stating them, for people stating their own in solidarity in support. All of it.

My daughter, however, who is painfully shy, and has tons of social anxiety, really got thrown for a loop yesterday on the first day of class, when the teacher insisted she state her pronouns in class. (She has had some teachers last year who asked kids to write them if they wanted to, and that's great.)

But I do question a teacher's forcing kids to state their pronouns on introduction. I think this can make kids uncomfortable, and leading by example and "asking" would be a better way to do it.

For example, "Please state your preferred name, and pronouns if you wish, and name something you like to do for fun. I will start. I'm Ms. Jones, and I use she/her. I like to fish and do triathalons."

And then don't call out a kid who doesn't state pronouns.

It's a small difference, I know. But I think it makes a kinder, more inclusive impact.

[Anonymous]

So much research shows that accommodating kid’s anxiety feeds the anxiety disorder. I am sorry your kid felt anxious, but setting a norm that kids don’t need to participate in school if they are anxious is so bad for kids with this disorder. Look for things on anxiety coming out of Yale.

[Anonymous]

Another anxious, uptight parent could easily write a post about how your version made their kid feel uncomfortable like their pronouns should be obvious and announcing them would be weird.

We’re all adjusting to new language norms about gender. Teach your kid that the important thing is acting in good faith to make people feel respected and affirmed.

If it wasn’t this it would definitely be something else about the first day of school. Your reaction is a problem. You need to teach your kid to reflect on how they felt and what, if anything, she wants to do differently next time. Fussing over what the teacher should have done slightly differently in your opinion isn’t the right approach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another anxious, uptight parent could easily write a post about how your version made their kid feel uncomfortable like their pronouns should be obvious and announcing them would be weird.

We’re all adjusting to new language norms about gender. Teach your kid that the important thing is acting in good faith to make people feel respected and affirmed.

If it wasn’t this it would definitely be something else about the first day of school. Your reaction is a problem. You need to teach your kid to reflect on how they felt and what, if anything, she wants to do differently next time. Fussing over what the teacher should have done slightly differently in your opinion isn’t the right approach.

Exactly, OP, your kid and you need to address your anxiety yo function in the world.

[Anonymous]

The teacher was ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So much research shows that accommodating kid’s anxiety feeds the anxiety disorder. I am sorry your kid felt anxious, but setting a norm that kids don’t need to participate in school if they are anxious is so bad for kids with this disorder. Look for things on anxiety coming out of Yale.

+1 I have a kid with GAD who really struggles to speak in front of people she doesn't know. This is something basic and if your kid can't do it, practice with her at home.

[Anonymous]

OP, what grade us your child in?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much research shows that accommodating kid’s anxiety feeds the anxiety disorder. I am sorry your kid felt anxious, but setting a norm that kids don’t need to participate in school if they are anxious is so bad for kids with this disorder. Look for things on anxiety coming out of Yale.

And insisting children come up with pronouns in front of the class isn't anxiety provoking? They should be teaching actual grammar, which includes proper use of pronouns for writing and speaking, not participating in a destructive fad which makes no effing sense.

She wasn’t asked to invent new pronouns, she was asked to share the pronouns she already uses. You need to learn some coping skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much research shows that accommodating kid’s anxiety feeds the anxiety disorder. I am sorry your kid felt anxious, but setting a norm that kids don’t need to participate in school if they are anxious is so bad for kids with this disorder. Look for things on anxiety coming out of Yale.

And insisting children come up with pronouns in front of the class isn't anxiety provoking? They should be teaching actual grammar, which includes proper use of pronouns for writing and speaking, not participating in a destructive fad which makes no effing sense.

She wasn’t asked to invent new pronouns, she was asked to share the pronouns she already uses. You need to learn some coping skills.

And she was asked to do that if she wishes, so she didn’t have to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So much research shows that accommodating kid’s anxiety feeds the anxiety disorder. I am sorry your kid felt anxious, but setting a norm that kids don’t need to participate in school if they are anxious is so bad for kids with this disorder. Look for things on anxiety coming out of Yale.

And insisting children come up with pronouns in front of the class isn't anxiety provoking? They should be teaching actual grammar, which includes proper use of pronouns for writing and speaking, not participating in a destructive fad which makes no effing sense.

She wasn’t asked to invent new pronouns, she was asked to share the pronouns she already uses. You need to learn some coping skills.

And she was asked to do that if she wishes, so she didn’t have to.

No, I think the OP was saying that she wishes the teacher would have added that to make it optional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am totally for using whatever pronouns you want, for stating them, for people stating their own in solidarity in support. All of it.

My daughter, however, who is painfully shy, and has tons of social anxiety, really got thrown for a loop yesterday on the first day of class, when the teacher insisted she state her pronouns in class. (She has had some teachers last year who asked kids to write them if they wanted to, and that's great.)

But I do question a teacher's forcing kids to state their pronouns on introduction. I think this can make kids uncomfortable, and leading by example and "asking" would be a better way to do it.

For example, "Please state your preferred name, and pronouns if you wish, and name something you like to do for fun. I will start. I'm Ms. Jones, and I use she/her. I like to fish and do triathalons."

And then don't call out a kid who doesn't state pronouns.

It's a small difference, I know. But I think it makes a kinder, more inclusive impact.

That is the problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am totally for using whatever pronouns you want, for stating them, for people stating their own in solidarity in support. All of it.

My daughter, however, who is painfully shy, and has tons of social anxiety, really got thrown for a loop yesterday on the first day of class, when the teacher insisted she state her pronouns in class. (She has had some teachers last year who asked kids to write them if they wanted to, and that's great.)

But I do question a teacher's forcing kids to state their pronouns on introduction. I think this can make kids uncomfortable, and leading by example and "asking" would be a better way to do it.

For example, "Please state your preferred name, and pronouns if you wish, and name something you like to do for fun. I will start. I'm Ms. Jones, and I use she/her. I like to fish and do triathalons."

And then don't call out a kid who doesn't state pronouns.

It's a small difference, I know. But I think it makes a kinder, more inclusive impact.

I agree with you OP. But you will get very little sympathy on this board.

[Anonymous]

My child doesn't like this either.

Hi my name is X, over the summer I didn't go to Europe or the Caribbean because we are poor, i went to camps. I like to watch TV.

But it's a life skill get over it.

[Anonymous]

My child is gender Nonconforming and would feel uncomfortable answering this question in front of a group because they are unsure at this point.

its not just parents of cis gendered kids that would have a concern about this.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a great teacher. They're so thoughtful. Your kid is lucky.